Automat Heart

this is one of the first songs that i was ever really proud of. it was also the last song that i ever fully produced before i had to get rid of my old blog and it's just been collecting dust ever since. i still love it  but the guitar frustrates me as it always does. my voice is also not up to the standard it is now but either way, it means a lot to me. what started as an acoustic demo turned into something much bigger and i felt like a real artist in that moment. anyway, don't wanna pour my heart out on the tl. 

lyrics: 

I dream about going to Alabama someday 
Cause England’s okay but I can’t seem
To get away from the feelings I have
About being bound 
And never having a say about when I can leave 

Dad always says my incompetence 
Won’t get me on the road 
That I can’t live without him or mom 
What a shame he doesn’t believe in my soul

I wanna be pretty
A singer and a wife 
On stage my second home
On display for all of those who want me
I’m looking for someone to want me

Every time I find a friend
After six months I hate them 
And now I find I’m better off being alone
Cause I can’t stand to hurt another soul

I wanna be pretty 
A poet and a mother 
With a little girl-child 
That I can call Vi
Short for violets blooming in the dead winter nights 

And I hope she doesn’t turn out sad like her mama 
Or come to me crying 
Cause she doesn’t like being alive 
Just like me 
Can I even carry the child without breaking down?

Hereafter

i never close my eyes when it gets dark
i cant howl like i did in lost creek park

i lay on a hay bale
i see your silhouette
i lay on a hay bale
too young to forget

hold my hands above my head
dont move them you said
keep my promise
doing what you wanted

i lay on a hay bale
i see your silhouette 
i lay on a hay bale
too young too forget

you think youre so tough
but i call your bluff
you say you love me too much
i call your bluff

in the dell demo

I wish I could tell you but when I try it burns my throat--
I wish I could tell you--
I wish I could--
I wish I--

haunted ground; tendrils burn like fuchsia

https://soundcloud.com/ezralaeux

Tracklist:
https://tinyurl.com/EzraLaeux20251217

Chino Amobi - LAW I (THE CITY IN THE SEA)
Halosar - Exit Wounds
Glokk40Spaz - Swamp
Bucqqi - nhfq.**
killjae - Kickdoor
Tim Hecker - Careless Whispers
James Ferraro - Intro
Pulgas - I go anywhere the wind blows
ir - Ifdef=Foo
Tim Hecker - Total Garbage
fakekickin - UP THE ANTE
Deru - Pyre
Alva Noto & Ryuichi Sakamoto - Silence
Tek lintowe - Ode to nothing
Tujiko Noriko - 7
sv1 - Time Passed
Dorine Muraille - La règle
iokera - asphodel fields (excerpt)
Autechre - Marhide
Yellow Swans - New Life
Chino Amobi - LAW II (DEMOLITION)
Rooster - 7am at Storkyrkan, Stockholm
Rooster - Million Dollar
Lorn - Devour

Ezra Laeux (004)

Anyone

true love waits (radiohead cover)

Moo Binga & Senglar - Febrero

AliceisPermafrost & Senglar - Still

dumping my demos here until someone's willing to make my shit into goth doom metal

Hereafter

HERETIC