Dear Zbee I love ya man keep doing you, you’re amazing man 🔥🔥🔥🔥

https://soundcloud.com/alex-thomas-fox

let me go
if you come back around
i wont hear you out
just to let you know
i will scream to your face
so you know your place

i cant wipe away all the grit on my teeth
walking around oh so anxiously
rolling my eyes every time that you speak
ur life's so miserable, its fucking bleak

let me go 
let me go
i will never think of you when i think of home
did your mother never teach you how to grow
clearly not, because you make me feel so fucking anxious

you never learn and now you will regret this
ur tryna play me like ur playing tetris
but you could never get all of the answers out me
probably cus we’d both just end up shouting
now im hiding
i cant stand the fighting
our emotions coming down like lighting
you would never believe a word  i said to you
guess u got trust issues
are you trying to blame me?


where was the effort (i promise that i tried)
no attempt to try and not be reckless
holding my breath in (you always fed me lies)
go on accuse me, it’s now amusing to see
knife in the heart, pull it out (and now i'm bleeding out)
im your medicine 
take a trip to your grave, im ahead of it
frown on my face, i dont wanna pretend again (my heart is sinking down)
there was no way of mending it


no more lying, i cannot stop crying
burning up, light the fire inside me
i could never believe a word that came from you
guess i got trust issue
i mean who can blame me 

playing with my heart
feel like this is checkmate 
we’re apart
but you said that you feel great 
it’s so hard hearing all about you
let me gocus it’s hard for me toocope
blood stains on my coat 
my breathings lost control
I don’t know where to go
a vicious cycle we’re in 
how did this all begin
wonder if it’s ending
soon cus I need mending

trust issues (ft. vails) [dash]

prod. heyzbee & michael harrison

heyzbee: 

i’m so lost, i’ve lost my purpose
only sure that life’s not certain
just started that’s just the surface
i’ve become someone that’s worthless
i think i’ve become a burden
please tell me i have a purpose

i was spiraling in every direction
got to the point, i couldn’t finish a sentence
so far gone with all these pills i grew dependence
now i stare at the world as if it’s ending
i’m so lost i dunno what to do
keep on talking honestly it’s nothing new
everything that i said was true
but keep defending him even though you knew

dreaming that your innocent
but you are just as bad as him
i see your faking ignorance
so let’s just talk a little bit
you lied about the evidence
you said you say it as it is
yet here you are defending it
this scene disgusts me let it end

shine:

look for a light in the tunnel i found
if i creep real slow, i wont ever make a sound
but you ran from me
you never ended up home
cancelling
any friendship we owned
i cant stand to be
stepped on by a ho
but fuck it's great to be
sitting here alone

cus they treat me like a joke
they won't ever know..

heyzbee:

i was spiraling in every direction
got to the point, i couldn’t finish a sentence
so far gone with all these pills i grew dependence
now i stare at the world as if it’s ending
i’m so lost i dunno what to do
keep on talking honestly it’s nothing new
everything that i said was true
but keep defending him even though you knew

ilyl1ght:

(god)
tired of everything this aint the main attraction (no)
i'm sick of everyone butting into my business
i hear everything you say
nothing you do goes unseen
i just sit quiet and watch
how you talk effortlessly
ohhh
if i were to die today
i wonder what god would say
your dancin into the palm of my hand
your thinkin you can escape
your thinkin
think again

lost (feat. shine & ilyl1ght)

prod by me and jacob vallen

wont eat for a while
my stomaches been aching
and im not myself 
not as of lately
few months ill heal right? im hardly inpatient
its not feeling real, counting cracks in the pavement
takes all i have to pull my anchor out
i dont know who i am, know everything about u
takes all i have, to make the words come out
im making nothing last, im pretty anxious now
 
dont tell me "people change" like you look down on me
you always said "its nothing" its alot to me
started turning heads, wont look back at me 
was just more of the same a little differently
giving nothing back 
its not important now
things u take for granted 
let my anger out 
i just cant grasp it
nah, its not important now

takes all i have to pull my anchor out
i dont know who i am, know everything about u
takes all i have, to make the words come out
im making nothing last, im pretty anxious now

for a while

produced by cxrter & retz
📸: cxrter

lyrics:
i’m so sick of the notion
they won’t ever understand 
got no things to put hope in
got me hanging by a strand
keep a cabinet open
and a bottle in my hand
found the pressure too potent
now i'm nothing like you planned
thought you wanted devotion
now you want some other man
got me stuck in a ocean
it’s high tide

everybody wanna know what i do
it doesn't matter
when i'm writing
swear it's pulling me through

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed, but i need one more
sorry baby, i know lately i'm an eyesore

yeah we used to want that house with picket fence
now summers almost over and you told me it depends
putting teardrops on my pants 
and now my music my one plan
i don’t wanna walk around it
quit the drama no offense
i’mma 
i’mma be who i'm destined to be
watching people pull me down
but i'm still on my feet
bet you’re looking at now
while i'm living out my dreams
never did it for myself
girl i did it for the weak

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed, but i need one more
sorry baby, i know lately i'm an eyesore

everybody wanna know what i do
it doesn't matter
when i'm writing
swear it's pulling me through
just hoping for some guidance
looking at my scars
on my cheeks and on my eyelids

like girl i feel it in my chest, when the night turns young i can feel it in my head now
why i’m feeling so depressed
but i try to talk about it
and it turns into a mess
i was just a kid now i'm losing all my hope
put a bounty on my head
point your gun and now i'm broke
wrong way wrong turn and now im dead weight
can't kick a habit
i can feel it on my worst days
they keep saying that im perfect
but u knew im never worth it
like i kept lying to ur face
now i'm going back to bed
but its been feeling like my grave

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been  sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed but i need one more
sorry baby i know lately i'm an eyesore

eyesore w/ halfhearted (cxrter x retz)

lyrics ⬇️


we dont talk abt it enough
lately when i wake up
im tremblin no luck
turn my emotions to dust
it’s sickening down in my gut
life isnt all about love
its about all that you got

right
right to leave me there when i was wrong
nothing you could do to make strong
(cuz i was lost)
i cant be the one to lead you on
see me one more time and next time ill be gone

i dont wanna think like that
i dont wanna breathe like that no more
and i dont mean scream my bad
and i been really feeling real bad
it goes down to my core
maybe ill be better off alone
secluded outside away from my home

(notahero)

lyrics

i don’t really ask for much
and i won’t be here for too long
the only cool thing is the songs
you tell me a hits on the tip of my tongue
but i bite my tongue
i say all the things that i shouldn’t have
i try not to care bout the should’ve had
as long as u still love me in the end
oh but baby i been struggling since last halloween
and youre the only reason im sleeping
got your smell on my sheets
if only i could’ve turned out the way i wanted to be

i know that you hate the way that i feel
i know all that you wanted was just something real
but i don’t even feel real
oh but i don’t want to feel like that
and she wonder why my songs so sad
baby there’s not an emotion that i wish i don’t have
it’s like i try to spark my feelings but it just turn to ash
it just turn to ash

better off alone w/ notahero (under the maple tree)

@notcursed :D

it’s so cold, gotta grab my winter coat, 
I’m alone, it’s just me and the snow, 
I like it though, there’s trouble up in paradise,
it’s petty right, you live a life that’s full of lies

how hard I try, how hard I try I still gon die, 
it’s my now my time I vanish up into the sky, 
I lie right here, I lie right here waiting for you,
hold me tight, hold me tight before I die, 


you think there’s hope but the walls are just closing, 
don’t hold them open ur too weak it’ll crush u, 
and when it’s over I hope that you’ll know this, 
all that you wanted was a bit of closure 

before I die, I will write,
A letter to you, explaining everything that’s on my mind,
if you won’t read please keep it I know another time, 
all the love just dies, i dont know why i try

notcursed:

i wanted to help but i can’t get through
i’ll keep you warm, though you tell me not to
i like you though, i’ll keep you close, hold me here
hold back my tears, i feel too much and i adore
you
trust when i say i’m not gonna hurt you
turn to ice when you’re not there to turn to

keep the letter i can see the light
you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright, i’ll hold you tight

i know there’s hope
though the walls are still closing
just take me with you
your hand i’m still holding

don’t let go
now is not your time
i’m glued to you
we are intertwined 


winter coat w/ notcursed [irby]

lyrics ⬇️

no i cant be here im not attached
and i apologize dear but its too bad
yea i spent a couple crummy years
and now i lack
everything i could of gained while we were sad

you cant keep up w these options
left and right you be tossin these questions to me
dont expect itd be awesome
theres not much to see

like cordoroy im waitin here while feelin like a beast
out of my mind and down on my knees
you can tell me what i needed to be
gettin so cold out that i start to freeze
double the crutches get stompped by the cleats
u dont need nothin u wanted from me
ima be further away from the scene
i dont want nothin to do w the beans
im crossin my arms when you show em to me
turnin up everything before i leave
im makin my mark i want em to see
where i would be 
where i would be if i didnt have grief
ill put down my gaurd and ill make em believe 
yea i been to places that i couldnt reach

send me a shot 
hit witta bat
outta the park
not comin back
no time soon
yea thats a fact
a big monsoon
changing the current track

yea yea i wanna lay there but not on a mat
yea yea i feel the cold air surface into the flat
yea yea maybe its all i got maybe its all i have
racin until im gone baby i feel like a stag

comin up- a dry time
double up my life line
and i dont wanna tell a bad lie
but its hard with your eyes

and you were all i wanted
then you broke a promise
it wouldnt be too classy
if im being honest

a compromise dont seem much if it already seems overwith
put a tripod in the hallway then ill wait to see if the camera glitch
got phasmephobia fearin all the ghost thatll be comin in
walk far til im clearin my system and ill settle in

yea gentlemen
cold hearts spark adrenaline 
had a bold start but you tremblin now
old cards got me holdin my ground

i cant be here im not attached
and i apologize dear but its too bad
i spent a couple crummy years
and now i lack
everything i could of gained while we were sad

monsoon (yunnygoldz)

lyrics

im outside
i’m like where the hell you been
i’ll slide
wondering how the hell you been
are you alright
buckle up and put your head back
i’ll play you my new song
i hope that you like it

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

i ain’t see you in so long
but i promise i been working hard stack money on my phone
i don’t talk that much so i barf up words on top these songs
im quiet in the back of the party sipping white claw and patron
just stay with me for a few days help me figure out what the fuck i’m on
baby this big boy shit
i can’t rest im too grown
my back breaking and i can’t find my eyes cuz they too low
my demons like rubrics cube lately
id figure it out but i don’t know

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

she love me too much to remind me that this happens every time
u know i been having trouble staying inside the lines
a little swervy i been drinking every night
it’s like im celebrating not wanting to be alive
my body a temple i can’t turn into a shrine
can’t snuff my flame out before i even find the light
i don’t know how the hell i been am i alright
a couple drinks and autotune and call it a night

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

shrine (under the maple tree)

do you know how long its supposed to snow for
i cant see anything more than twenty feet in front of me
and if we die in this snow storm
well i dont want to think about it
put your hand on my heart feel my heart beat
i dont know if its still there can you check for me
but i know who you are and youre lovely
i know who you are and youre lovely
ive been lost here for a long time
and the sun here doesnt come up after night
was a painful process when my heart turned into bronzite
and i feel it everyday but i wish that i didnt

go to sleep now she said
itll all be over in the morning
dont fear for the road ahead
for every hero has his journey

but im notahero and i just cant stand for this
im on the battle ground
metal gauntlets on my wrist
i pray before the battle
know im taking fathers from their kids
they bring the archers out
as arrows shower down
my dying thought is of you
i think ill die on this hill
with several arrows in my back
and a big bastard sword covered in blood
what the fuck
im sworn through chivalry but ill die not enough
i feel these trees spread their roots through my guts
i feel my heart turn back on by your love
i dig my sword inside the ground and stand back up
guess she wont have it any other way
so ill live to fight another day

a hero's journey (p. ryan kelly)

i've physically been able to relatively get back into releasing music like this;
recovery has been ridiculously difficult, but i feel lightyears more capable
compared to what once was, and the soul-crushing aspect of not being able to output like this is slowly but truly dissipating.

production; courtesy of @wraithontheporch 

thank you for being here, so much.
be safe out there


ignorance laced from the brain to the lips
"if it ain't worth shit, why wait to be there when it is?"
though belated of light, though faint and estranged,
though strained, no night's that blind
festered and caught in a wind,
silently ridden renewal beginnings
forgiving the spite dealt upon all i am,
i take and refrain for the cycle's expansion

i'll mention the faulty of fate,
when the frame's out of range,
have the soul act in place of a comet
to strike down upon this, enduring the promise,
mistakenly pompous, forsaken and rotten

splurging the truth yet perceived as a cheat;
guttural speech yet sewage conceived;
scour the hour once all has devoured the spirit of tone 
that i currently breathe

i'm ripping the bag,
you could swear i'm a coon with trash, being glad with the leftover meat,
but y'all are facetious to see the extent of believing, 
the moment you feel it impede
few to foresee what'll lie in the wake of a bribe,
for a mind doesn't mold what it reaps from you guys whom die and revive,
to come back as a cry, in the form of a grime with a greed

how you gonna lie when we built for the truth?
"how you gonna try what you ain't wanna prove?"
how you gonna cry outside of the booth?
lost too many times that i've slept life through
i've watched myself slipping back into blue,
i've seen defeat in the form of anew
told out myself that i'm seeing it through
told out myself that it's worth every bruise

feeling it out won't dispel,
alice was simply compelled
the bottom is treating you well,
no wonder we're now so frail;
i could use a light for the trail

lost (feat. shine & ilyl1ght)

heyzbee

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