Class Five
12 Kislev 5780, December 10, 2019

Presenter: Itty Kay

Along with our unique circumstances, our mission, we are given unique strengths:

        "In her situation, having been handed this role of great responsibility, along with the privilege and overwhelming fortune - in her own words - to raise three wonderful sons and one amazing daughter, sheyichyu, it’s certain that the Creator of the world, the One who runs it, gives her ALL the strength needed for this, including self confidence and encouragement.”(Likkutei Sichos, vol. 35, p. 269, A letter of the Rebbe on 25 Elul 5736)Our expectations (that we expect of ourselves as moms): Essential or Expendable? Educational or External?"Parents’ primary devotion should be to provide their children with chinuch according to Torah and Mitzvohs so that their children will grow to be chassidim, yerei Shamayim, and Torah scholars, through which they bring eternal good fortune to both their children and the parents.
        "However, when parents are instead preoccupied with dressing their child in expensive clothing, so that their child will be better-dressed than the neighbors’ children, this kind of satisfaction can last a day, a week, a month, or a year. However, afterwards, when the child grows older, it will be apparent that he wasn’t given true good fortune, which would have led to a lifetime of happiness.”

(Torahs Menachem, volume 19, page 65)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 190


Our natural desire: We WANT the best for our children:

        "One of the most important things in the life of a person is his relationship with his children. It may even be said that a person’s true character is evident in his relationship with his children. Even in situations in which a person would suffice with the minimum if it were only for his own sake, when it comes to his children, his attitude is different. If he is befitting of the title adam, he wants only the best for his children and spares no efforts - to the point of self-sacrifice - to provide for his children and not just the basic necessities, in both material and spiritual matters.”

(Hisvaaduyos 5744, volume 1, page 105)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 194


We must identify what's TRULY best for them vs interfering:

        "It is known that among the main obligations of a woman and mother - and this is also her merit - is to conduct her home in accordance with the instructions of our Torah and mitzvos, in the chinuch of sons and daughters, and so forth. From the above it follows that anything that interferes with this, even if it only causes a weakening [in her ability to carry out her role in the fullest], should be rejected completely, since this prevents her from fulfilling the duty with which she has been charged by the Giver of the Torah and Creator of the world.”

(Igros Kodesh, volume 14, page 436)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 217

Summary: Make a list - in your mind, on paper... What expectations are vital for your child's true well being and what expectations have you, as a mom, picked up along the way that you may now let go of?

Moving forward - instead of my home being a place where I'm pressured and rushed and agitated - what can help me be more delighted when I am in my own home surrounded by these incredible children that G-d has given to me to care for and raise?


💝This class was sponsored in honor of two special moms, Chaya Mushka bas Chana & Chana bas Chaya Sima. May they be blessed with full health and strength! 💝

Raising a Mentch 5.0 - Tired of being Tired? [Part 2]: Expectations - Essential vs Expendable

Hinda Leah Sharfstein