produced by hiraeth

remember to wash the socks u came in

And its so obvious
How can you not see me
See me
If I ran away would you need me ?
Played your last messages on repeat
This the last time that you’ll see me

So let me down
Pull me out
Of this hole im in
Baby would you cave it in 
What is happening
I can’t believe I shat again :p!!
Blood is everywhere
Im crawling out of bed again

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Trying to run from the past
Tell me how hard does it get now
Living to die in a bed
No in-between to forget now
Call me when all of it ends
Im putting a gun to my he’d now

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

newmaker

ft @ripkais :)
prod hiraeth + sinxi
ENGALAND

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink
I only did it cause i had to
ur not who I think
and all my friends were tryna warn me
But I’m stupid as shit
i don’t know how id ever trust you
look what u did
i heard ur better off without me
I’ve got nothing to give

tell me what it cost me
im sinking in my body
memories floodin in of how I fkn lost me
I was never really here you can feel it
feel more claustrophobic the lower the ceiling

if you really don’t wanna talk to me don’t talk to me
know the only problem is the fkn honesty
I caught the leakin water drippin from your balcony
words cant fix this
and I just rly wanna stop fearin
the noises in my ceilin
im breathin real heavy
im anxious and im breakin
mistaken for a bad dream
I just want you happy,
but you wanna leave me in the car
body laid out in the backseat

ive had enough of it
let me out
ur turning love into a punishment
u let me drown
i swear were only arguing
she'll come around
i swear its so embarrassing
u let me down

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink

sink ft. kais

use me up to tell me that u never loved me
I feel like I’m never nothing
I’m tired can u just leave me alone
Please stop staring swear my face is fucking boring
I don’t need to be important I’m swinging until I knock him cold
Staring at the mirror
Should I be alive
I’ve got reason to believe that it’s just not my time
Maybe in another life

I only eat when I deserve to
Clouded mirror sit and stare in the bathroom
I been thru it all before I’m just like you
I never wanna let you down but I had to

I’d give up on everything to be a better me
I’ve got people streaming songs
but no one listening
Every lyric that I write, you know I fucking mean
You only hmu to make a song with me

I won’t get that mad
I’m just frustrated
I can’t seem to get a break and I just hate it
If you lived in my shoes maybe you’d get it
Why I get pissed off and I’m not patient

WRITING EVERY FEELING BUT I’LL ALWAYS FORGET
EVERYTHING I EVER DID OR EVER SAID IN THE END
BUT I’M TOO FAR GONE TO CARE
I DON’T LIKE YOU
I WISH THAT YOU’D CARE FOR ME
YOU DON’T TRY TO

produced by hiraeth and heylog <3

You’ve got nothing to say to me
I’m drowning in the ocean
Always complain to me
I’m dealing with my own shit
Filling my vacancy
(Just breathe)
If I died tomorow I bet nobody’d even notice

harder to breathe
when ur around I’m losing focus
Trying to speak, the words can’t seem to leave my vocal
Getting likes on ig
cause ur half naked in the photos
I’m dying to sleep, if I wake up im meeting god bro

Stay closer to me
I swear that nobody can touch you
if they tried
I’d grit my teeth and fight them all for you
I’m tryna hide, stop tryna reason what I been thru
It’s not my time, I’d kill anyone laying next to you

never should've went for u
and i ain't know your friend exists
if that was the case i would restart and go for her instead
what a shame
u let your life to pieces
who's to blame
(you)
you're the only reason i can't focus
got me losing sleep
and shit oh how i own it
tell that b-
she can drink bleach
you let it out there in the open
u show yourself no respect
and i wonder if u know this

i'm tired of preaching cus babe it really-
babe it hurts from underneath
all the wasted memories
don't go down, get off your knees
it's not the time for any pleasing

bleach ft. heylog

prod hira :)

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

i heard u talking shit
so baby come a lil closer
tell it to my face so i can use it for some closure
god shes so embarrassing 
pretend i didnt know her
stabbing thru my chest 
i cant believe she said it wont hurt

that boy gonna piss from his eyes
u told me there's comfort inside
but ur presences still hunting me down
even my shit wanna drown

gimme some time 
i just need some patience
bodys on the floor 
i make em seem weightless
if he wanna die 
then we can arrange it
wasting all my time gambling my wages

gimme some space
i just need a minute
i left my soul on a bridge hoping that youd save it
you told me jump
so i did
and i hit the pavement
ive got nothing to give 
i dont think youre safe yet

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

bubbles /
depends, can you go fuck yourself

hira /
i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

is it too much to ask for your time
love my patience is walking the line
save me
its not like youd try
fell too close
breaking my spine

too close i feel like an option
i keep tryna run girl 
run into the forest
i could use some safety
are you tryna hold me?
stop shaking
eyes are getting blurry

i dont trust nobody
but i saw you as family
its getting too warm im struggling to breathe
its blatant im nothing to see

i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

breathe

teach me what i did wrong
and this silence, fucking broke it fore it had a start
you can take the things you said and shove them up your arse
found a picture of your face and now its battle-scarred

id do anything for you to just pick up the line
so i can call you a bitch at least another time
you should tell your man to get a fucking life
stop being such a pussy and following mine

turn to my own enemy 
dont care no more dont ask for me
i just wanted sympathy
is that to much to ask for me

havent talked to you in like 5 days
you stare too much at my face
acting like you werent fake
i could do this all day
her teeth grip the back of my necklace
no one cares for the shit that you rented
2k for a feat ur demented 
pussy still stalking my mentions 

uh

liar
should've punched you right on your chin
should've broke your jaw
should've put you where you belonged
i put trust to set aside
but it wasn't useful
now i know it's better
we can't be friends ever

we're all alone in my backseat
i shoulda called in a taxi
her clothes off, got a head start
nails stuck in my chrome hearts
said she love my ambition
my mental state diminished
toxic time, a waste of breath
i feel the blood drip off my chest

battle scarred w/ heylog & pvrk

oh its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore

i just cant tell you enough
my thoughts been opening up
i never said it enough 
my heart was filled with your love

i would sacrifice my love just to be on your side
gimme just another day so that i can reside
while youre waiting at the gates, ill find somewhere to hide

i need somewhere to hide
i know youre in the fields looking at me over the light
if theres a chance that you hear me singing into the night
i need to tell you that ill love you till the end of the line

you know i always cared about you
i might sleep in water hang my head whilel i cry
been 2 years now im lost without you
take me to a forest filled with water and pine

its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore

how could you take away my best friend
ive got no one to trust
ill see your face in the end
your words fill my stomach making me who i am
you wouldnt have left me, i know ill see you again

enough

how am i still alive after all this bullshit
take me down from the ceiling
im holding onto something
i dont have nothing
why dont you ask me how i feel or how i care
running out of time its running bare

my loves not good at all
just be patient when you call
lll sleep forevermore
youd only wake me when youre bored
im drowning through the floor
you only save me when your alone

say that you hate me i wont break
sitting in agony, dont change
say that you love me, its too late
cant even look at my face

how could you do that to somebody who loves you
go and lie 
and say you dont even mean to
i didnt wanna
no i dont wanna leave
you know i wanna
know i wanna believe you

who do you think i am ? 
you where never just friends its all adding up
told me i should watch myself
well maybe you should wash his fragrance off

how did we get so far
just to runaway 
like we never moved at all
tell me where it all went wrong
stop the pain by lining your stomach with alcohol

how could you do that to somebody who loves you
go and lie 
and say you dont even mean to
i didnt wanna
no i dont wanna leave
you know i wanna
know i wanna believe you

forevermore

layed out in the pouring rain 
every drop is suffocating my face
i hope you drown bitch rot and decay 
turn around ive got nothing left to say 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me 
you gotta get a taste 
had to get away 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain 
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me you gotta get a taste 
you gotta tell me is this what i deserve 
im tryna hide between the ground and the earth 
you took my lung and threw that shit in the dirt 
hate the way youre talking i think youve said enough 

run my fingers through your hair you know you made me warm 
i got scars all on my body im already torn 
you dont talk nice about me but no one ever does 
if i told you half the shit you'd have already run 

look at you running it back 
you dont want nothing to last 
act like you hate me 
you got no safety 
look at you liking my tracks 
im in your playlist 
and i know you hate it 
you know nothing about me 
but im one of you favorites 

nothings stopping me from jumping this bridge 
tell me to jump 
ive already tried to drown in the sea 
dont make me stop 
i dont want anyone to try and save me 
i deserve to rot 
looking for no comfort or safety 
i deserve the death 

im so tired of making you proud 
my eyebags are letting me down 
dont talk to me you would have frowned 
dont listen i cant listen now 

girl you dont know 
the shit i been through 
leave me on your notes 
im gonna bin you 
slamming through the door 
you had an issue 
being such a whore 
im tired of letting you down 
my eyebags are making you proud 
dont look at me dont let me drown

Vain

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 
i promise everybodys doing better than me 
stuck here cutting losses so you can watch me bleed 
fuck that im burning money 
give a shit what it means 
my bad i pray to god you bring some comfort to me

you're safe here don't worry
i'll come back as quick as i can
rush, i'm in a hurry
can't see anything on my end
my end
haven't been the same since the last time
my peripheral is gone, there's twitching in my left eye
i think i go insane, hear the war cries
strike it down, i can't be seen neither dead and neither alive
why all of the sudden now you believe in me
"i had no potential" is what you'd think of me
now ur switching sides and wanna be on my team
i'll be the better man and just cut you off and leave

i swear youre only doing it out of spite
you got a question
ima bite
i cant believe im still alive
your bullshit is the reason ima die

you can keep on picking me up 
and putting me down slowly
youre too close 
for someone who dont know me
im too far motherfucker dont bro me
bro me bro me bro bro

something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here

here w/heylog

yeah
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole

im at the worst of it now
dont tell me you where around
dont tell em you gave me anything
im sat with the worst of it
im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it
see the wings on your spine
both serenading my eyes
now ur not here in this life
ive got a reason to die 

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour


load of bs shouting distroted


im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it

songs shit

angel

i seen your eyes turn to water
you must be so ahead idk what u wanna hear
from me, now im older
glass feels colder
inside looking out
what if this how they view me from the outside
ur looking down on me
ur looking down now
this blasphemy 
it all comes round 
you were bad for me
im so fucked now

i could take a knife out
put it through my wrist
let you grab it with your hand just so you can twist
i wont tell nobody
youd never hurt a soul
dont try to complicate it
ur doing it wrong
you can try and stop me however you want
ill put a hole through ur head
and then ill spin it off
im sick of being vulnerable
no one listens now
youll never get ahead of me 
ill just rip you down

ur splitting personalities 
i swear nobody gives a shit
walk right over me, ur never nice oh no one bit
i must be such a disgrace, im holding you back
covering my ears oh i love when you laugh
but its bad
i see ur faces walking round like you have
other family you throw me on my ass
never mine and its honestly sad

wrist

I forgot to listen, should I pretend u love me 
There’s something in the air, it’s something I should never breathe 
Clouds are looking morbid at the top I’m at the peak 
Tryna get em out, my words get stuck and I can’t speak
Holding on this mountain girl this gravity’s calling me 
Maybe if it’s fair it would let go but keep hold of me 
Cause I have this obsession and I keep rushing into things 
Maybe it’d better if I wasn’t so annoying 
I’m boring 
This isn’t what I wanted 
Wanted 
It’s too much to hear u calling
Calling
I just want u to be honest
Honest
I’m so replaceable 
I’m not really made for anybody else
But your eyes 
And your eyes only 
I’m so pathetic I can’t believe that I tell you how I really felt
But ur eyes and ur eyes only

wish you would have met me at a different time 
Maybe somewhere far we beneath the plane we realign 
Coincide
Nlm, there’s nobody here that I like
Push me away while I’m burning inside 

Feel like an animal I’m trapped inside a cage for you
I’m far beneath the plane
I wonder if you hate me too
Take my pulse don’t let me breathe until my eyes are blue 
Buried conciously my bones are breaking out in 2 

I’ll keep swinging til he’s dead
Dropped down on the floor
And If I miss I’ll pierce a lung heart kidney and all
If only he would listen 
Dickhead keep ur mouth shut
U told me it was fine
And it was not love
But I don’t really care
I never have done
U think he’ll keep u safe
He’s never backed no one
I could take him by the ear and hold him ransom 
Now he’s not even ur friend he’ll never have none 

Take a lil time out my day
I feel it’s all a disgrace 
My body’s rotting, decaying
I’ll throw it all to waste 
When I see myself in the mirror
I put my hands to my face 
So I can’t see what I’ve done 
Don’t wanna see anymore 
Don’t ask me if I’m fine 
My knife isn’t  even towards
Any skin, it’s passed that line
Least I’m not hitting the floor
Even if I was I’d lie
Let the ground coat  me in mold 
Sorry for wasting ur time
I been meaning to let you go

newmaker IV

Can’t say ur not breaking me
It takes all that I have
Just to sleep and then wake again
Barely eat cause I can’t
My body’s not made for this
Cause half of it is urs
Remember when I said
“For this girl that I adore”
Ur nothing but memories
Keep
Pulling me apart
I could never be used to this
It’s only the start
Recently deleted
Select all
Confirm delete em
1000 images or more
And I don’t need to see em
Cause They’re all memorised
I’m burning through these highs
u don’t even ask how I am
it feels like nothings right
Fuck this u never tried
Try to see thru my eyes
The way I suffer every morning
U don’t ask me nein
“Why u awake so late”
I’m Just talking to friends
U won’t believe a single thing my mouth has ever said

Cause it’s so late
And it’s so dark out
Are you home yet ?
It’s not safe out now

There’s no place
For someone like me
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die
How could we say it’s us till we die
How should I know
And I can say this without any lines
With my eyes closed
Cause I mean it
This isn’t a story
I can’t go back to the start
And ur leaving
Moved on while I’m shuffling cards

There’s no place
For someone like me
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die

select all, confirm, delete

Wrong One

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it 

This six shooters got more then 1 bullet 
It’s hitting 0 it’s hit in the green
And all my bets placed 4,9 and 13
This roulettes Russian it’s not very
Clean 
My body’s fearing the worst I can’t 
Breathe
I saw you with another guy and I 
Screamed 
How many more until you stop being a slut 
Close ur legs just to open em up

And that really isn’t even half
You had to block me just to get in his car
It’s annoying that you don’t say it with chest
Window down I bet he’s kissing ur…

What id do oh what I’d do to anyone who ever tries it 
Molotov his bedroom 
Pouring petrol on his carpet
I’m gonna rip him from everyone that he loves
Stainless steel around his neck
I’ll put a knife in there and plunge
Stop being a narcissist baby I need some love
Like just a little more, then what I’ve already got
Anything is better than what I have
Please don’t neglect me I’ve had all that 

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it

stainless steel

hold down
Send
More in
Hold out

This is more than a look that I have 
Send men they’re breaking bad 
So sad you’ve done this before
Head down the aisle 12 bore
In hand I’m ready to fight 
He’s not so keen, don’t look right 

Maybe I’d be better alone
So I don’t intrude
Stare at my phone, cause I need you
Hold me like the worlds on my back
I’m counting curls in your hair
And pray to god that it lasts 

I Don’t have to count no sheep
I just look into your eyes
One moment, fast asleep
I’m tryna stay up all night

Maybe this rain is too heavy 
For us to lay in it 
But we’ll sit out on the porch 
Covered in acid and mould 
Maybe my life wasn’t wasted
Now that you’re a part of it
I’ve never done this before
Everything I touch starts to fall 

(Covered in acid and mould)

This is more than a look that I have 
Send men they’re breaking bad 
So sad you’ve done this before
Head down the aisle 12 bore
In hand I’m ready to fight 
He’s not so keen, don’t look right 

I hate this world so much
I feel my body closing in
Though when I conversate with you, I start to feel complete again

Rushing out to tell him that I’ve found a friend
And though I can’t get a reply i know he thinks you’re the best

bore

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

You cannot force an entry 
No it’s a little bit mean don’t you think
Maybe these walls are meant to stay up 
Surrounding me
If you wanna get past you’ll have to
Kill me
Are we starting again
Without all my friends

I’m running I’m running away
You don’t have to catch me
Nothing but doubt and regret
You won’t ever find me

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

I wish I slept thru everything 
Woke up to birds singing 
Outside my window pane
Wake up repeat again
Tell death I’m on my way
He’s not too far away
He’ll take me all the same
Select all delete again

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

slept through everything

strings by @vayhn

For so long
I’ve cut my heart open
I’ve Been so heavily devoted
But what does it matter now
What does it matter now

Harboured to nothing
I’m drowning you’re not running
Am I not worth saving
Don’t leave me, I’m wasted
I’m rotten
Don’t taste me
I’m falling
You’re waiting
For somebody better than me
How I wish I could have been

Don’t ask no questions
Won’t get no lies
You’ve ruined all we’ve had
Hope that was right

I draw lines running parallel
They never get to cross 
But they know so well
And ones always on the frontline 
Though they never get to touch 
They protect so well
Keep running
I’m surrounded 
Heart open
All this damage
You noticed
Oh you noticed
In truth I’m losing focus 

Don’t stay awake without me
Stretch marks on my skin and I’m hardly
Impressed by myself and my surroundings 
Lowkey kinda scared that you despise me

Maybe it’s all a facade and you’re just tryna keep round
Breathing under water girl you cannot hold me down
Down
Both my feet tied to the ground 
Ground

parallel

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 

No better, take all the clothes that you want
Invested, in learning, why you don’t talk to me much
Forget it
I’m falling 
Into the mould that you made
My body malleable I can’t contort it again 

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 

I know your smile is proud
Too proud to let me down 
And when you hold me, embrace it
I’m done being scared now
Who lays in the dark
And pass through my arms
I could start to see forever
Never been this far
Hope my hands feel safe
Fingers below your waist 
I’ll be gentle don’t worry
It’s hard cause I’m not
Used to somebody 
Being all that I want

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 
There’s birds laughing at me
But don’t know why I’m here
I’ll spend every moment
Looking over this pier
I thought that you loved me
No I guess I was wrong
I’ll stand over the edge 
Wind is coming in strong

someone else

Prod @heylog

I’m dreaming in rem
Wake up I’m still asleep
This nightmare is horrible
Following me
Cause I try my hardest 
All for me to think
That you’re getting bored of me
Hate when I leave 
Eyes laying heavy 
Got no sleep last night
Cause im day dreaming about me by your side 
I know that’s it’s horrible 
I wouldn’t lie
You’re all that I’ve really got in my life

So ashamed of me
Feel my body limp
I was sat wondering
What I’ve ruined again
If part of me listens 
The other half’s dead
I was waiting in the corner 
I was rotting in my bed

I see waves come in
I see oceans rise 
You were there for it
Fractions of my life
I wouldn’t spend this 8th with anybody else
Know I saw through it
Puppet on a screen 

I’m dreaming in rem
Wake up I’m still asleep
This nightmare is horrible
Following me
Cause I try my hardest 
All for me to think
That you’re getting bored of me
Hate when I leave 
Eyes laying heavy 
Got no sleep last night
Cause im day dreaming about me by your side 
I know that’s it’s horrible 
I wouldn’t lie
You’re all that I’ve really got in my life

limp

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cares when I say it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
Aren’t I stupid ? 

I’m so deluded it feels like a burden now
Keep throwing money till I say I’m finally out
But I’m not
All that I’ve worked for immediately out my hands
Say I’m fine but it’s nothing that I could grasp
Isn’t that stupid ?

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cared when I said it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
I’m so stupid 

Eyes glued to my screen all night
Fall asleep without my high
You don’t get it and nor do I
I swear I only use it to pass my time
But what time is it now ?
I’m starting to feel better can you slow it down
I’ll stay awake till I go outside
And pretend it’s not ruined my life

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cared when I said it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
I’m so stupid

I’m so deluded it feels like a burden now
Keep throwing money till I say I’m finally out
But I’m not
All that I’ve worked for immediately out my hands
Say I’m fine but it’s nothing that I could grasp
Isn’t that stupid ?

stupid

Pull me down 
Hold me underwater 
Leave me breathless
Let me drown
Leave my body in the ocean near some wreckage
To be found
When they pull me out you’ll say you never meant it 
I’m unidentifiable 
My body’s been fermented 

It’s all about you 
Love it’s all about you
I hold my head in my hands 
Babe it’s what I’m bound to
Thinking of you
I can’t stop I’ve tried to
I’d let you do most anything, you felt you had to
Treat me however you wanted
Lay down my body, on mountains of rubbish
I broke my arm for you to hold it
Gave you a gun, point it right at your target

Oh it wasn’t worth it all
Watch it fade to black 
I could give my life to you, and still you’d want it back
When there’s nothing left to offer I could split in half
Give you the other part of me, the one I’ve never had

You can devour me, leave me with holes
Eat all my flaws away, rip from bones
Take what you want, just to leave me alone
If it’ll make you love me 

Pull me down 
Hold me underwater 
Leave me breathless
Let me drown
Leave my body in the ocean near some wreckage
To be found
When they pull me out you’ll say you never meant it 
I’m unidentifiable 
My body’s been fermented 

God, I’m restless 
You could take it easy now 
You’ve taken people that I love and you’ve left me with nowt 
So you can take the credit when I go to your house
This is not a joke
Please do not test me now

It must be funny walking round and everybody hates me
And I can’t shake that feeling, it’s how you made me
Is that amusing?
Is that your humour?
I find you stupid
I find you’re useless 
And when I see you
Oh if I ever do
And you compare me
To those infront of you
I’ll make it easy
Oh I’ll decide for you
When you can tell me 
What I was supposed to do

fermented

youre so beautiful
ive got nothing to offer, i told you so
if you point out that im not what youre looking for
id change myself to be what you wanted
youre all that i wanted

im so proud of you
are you proud of me too
id do anything to be loved by you
is that not enough
howd i think it was
dont let go of the feelings you have for us

cause im paranoid
dont you fear it too ?
loosing all that we have 
and looking for someone new
i dont think i could do that

youre so beautiful
ive got nothing to offer, i told you so
if you point out that im not what youre looking for
id change myself to be what you wanted
youre all that i wanted

im so proud of you
are you proud of me too
id do anything to be loved by you
is that not enough
howd i think it was
dont let go of the feelings you have for us

are u proud of me too

youve commited yourself a bit of violence 
i can see that youre angry from your iris
dont hold back, i kinda like it
ive got a reason, to come out of hiding
youve commited yourself alot of violence
dont hold back, i kinda like it

all i see is red lights
running down to my eyes
put yourself in my position, no one wants me alive
if you need a hand to hold, oh i would offer you mine
i put myself in isolation, now im crucifed

ive been waiting a good part of my life
you dont get it, its not something i could describe
tryna run from a decline

im so spiteful and wonder why im hated
you wont like this, youll probably still play it
in your playlist, and wonder why you even care
i know you hate it
i know you hate it
youre getting mad over words on a screen
ill call you really bad words, just to see what you think
cause youre a ***** and a **** and you mean nothing to me
id rather eat my own SHIT than write an apology

black tar round my body weight, its awful
losing track of my time and its horrible
i thought we where friends
i thought we where friends
now im exactly what you hate
do not talk to me again
its adding up
i found a group of people that i love and it combust
it feels like im made to be left by myself
i just do not fit in with anyone else

black tar

can i not make you proud?
is being alive, just enough to let you down
you can hold me as close as you want but ill drown
i think you already know that
it seems you already knew

how can you want me so bad
and then pretend you never knew me
oh
a tall order, such a tall task
but one you did so easily

take all i know away from me
and all that i love, just leave to me to decay
til im skin and im bone and im waffer thin
maybe youd like me better that way
ill cut my hair and you wont recognise me
honestly i dont know what you want
ill grit my teeth and ill come out of hiding
im in the forest, dont tell anyone

how could you love me
i knew some day youd do this
and thinking bout it
i probably persued it

fuck this, ima get so angry now, angry now
say some shit i should have talked about

how did you get angry when its me you were abusing
ask me where im going every minute you were choosing
angry with me every second, how did i not lose it
guess i kinda did how i reacted like a human
pull me from these strings, im not a puppet for your using

but no one noticed
thought i controlled it
but everytime i go to talk, i hide my feelings
i keep my mouth shut, in fear of arguments
i read somewhere thats its unhealthy, but i live like this
and it wont change
and god knows that ive tried
so if i ruin everything, im sorry
my circuits been fried
im walking on thin ice
slopped on an incline
my flows changed like 9 times
im sorry im ranting

after all 
i amount to nothing
nothings original
everythings been said before
every feeling felt before
every thought been thought before
every thing been seen before
but i thought
i could do it with you
oh how shameful
and i could feel them with you
oh how painful
that i confuse it with you

puppet

im sorry its quiet messy, it was supposed to be one take throughout i just couldnt do it, im sure you can hear. lyrics can be found on sleeps version.
i miss you sm buddy

anxiety - sleepwater (one take)

run away now, you know this is bad
i culled a forest with a tree in my hand
then let a noose dangle over a branch
this is worse way worse than i planned

i picked up the phone, are you not on the other side ?
i put it back down and hope that i sleep through the night
this is terrible, feeling like i am not your type
my stomach drops, im getting scared, but i tell you im fine

im insecure, i dont know how to tell you easily
cause if i did i have a feeling youd be mad at me

this is worse way worse than i planned

all this attention, you must have loved it
is this not everything, youve ever wanted
i cant pretend that, i never saw it
maybe ill hide again, praying for something to happen

all this attention you gather
im just not like you at all
i hate looking down at my phone
ive couldnt feel less alone

insecure

something a lil sleep token/ brakencey/ sinxi/ deadfishy inspired
obviously


i hear a little whisper between silence on the phone
you say you really miss me, god i hope you really dont
the feelings shattered across somewhere, between the ash and gold
i feel a bit uncomfortable, pretend i really dont

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction


im sure youve heard this song before in every genre
always ranting about something and nobodys bothered
i could try be clever write a double entendre
just for you to listen and not read the lyrics
or maybe i’ll produce something spend ages working on it

-------------just to be compared to every artist that you know ----------------             
                     ===================================
or maybe it’s your fault for listening to everyone and nobody at all
i guess i could be wrong
i guess ill never know
everything’s generic so im reaping what they sow

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

hiraeth

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