produced by hiraeth

remember to wash the socks u came in

And its so obvious
How can you not see me
See me
If I ran away would you need me ?
Played your last messages on repeat
This the last time that you’ll see me

So let me down
Pull me out
Of this hole im in
Baby would you cave it in 
What is happening
I can’t believe I shat again :p!!
Blood is everywhere
Im crawling out of bed again

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Trying to run from the past
Tell me how hard does it get now
Living to die in a bed
No in-between to forget now
Call me when all of it ends
Im putting a gun to my he’d now

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

newmaker

ft @ripkais :)
prod hiraeth + sinxi
ENGALAND

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink
I only did it cause i had to
ur not who I think
and all my friends were tryna warn me
But I’m stupid as shit
i don’t know how id ever trust you
look what u did
i heard ur better off without me
I’ve got nothing to give

tell me what it cost me
im sinking in my body
memories floodin in of how I fkn lost me
I was never really here you can feel it
feel more claustrophobic the lower the ceiling

if you really don’t wanna talk to me don’t talk to me
know the only problem is the fkn honesty
I caught the leakin water drippin from your balcony
words cant fix this
and I just rly wanna stop fearin
the noises in my ceilin
im breathin real heavy
im anxious and im breakin
mistaken for a bad dream
I just want you happy,
but you wanna leave me in the car
body laid out in the backseat

ive had enough of it
let me out
ur turning love into a punishment
u let me drown
i swear were only arguing
she'll come around
i swear its so embarrassing
u let me down

you mean nothing to me
they had u down on ur knees
“i couldn’t live without you”
but you fucked him with ease
I swear i never even had u
and neither will he
left alone inside the bathroom
leave me to sink

sink ft. kais

@prodjpjp
@imgeist

use me for my skin, you can have it
stressed out, cant stop it's a habit
fucked up she wont talk when i'm like this
no thoughts, bringing shame i cant manage
no feelings, i feel like i might have lost it
hate my own skin get me out its getting toxic
fucked up i kinda feel like i dont want it
no feelings i feel like i'm out of options

these scars are more than cuts to me
i cant believe you really sat there and just watched me bleed
man he loves to talk a lot for someone so discreet
you took away from all i own i'll leave you in the sea
i can’t believe you really sat there and just watched me leave
i’m getting anxious i can tell that no one cares for me
man he loves to talk a lot but no one’s listening
you took away from all i own i'll leave you in the sea

i’ll leave you in the sea
i know what’s best for me
and i, held on tight when it was hard to breathe
and i,
fell apart when you crossed my name in red
and u saw how much i bled

fucked up
how she’s wanting me now
wait till i cut off all my hair and throw a fit in this town
cause i’m
stuck up
feel my ego rebound
at the end of the day
i’m a nobody with a crown

don’t waste my time
i’m wanting out
so say goodbye
leave with the crowd
every part of us is gone

these scars are more than cuts to me
i cant believe you really sat there and just watched me bleed
man he loves to talk a lot for someone so discreet
you took away from all i own i'll leave you in the sea
i can’t believe you really sat there and just watched me leave
i’m getting anxious i can tell that no one cares for me
man he loves to talk a lot but no one’s listening
you took away from all i own i'll leave you in the sea

anxious w/ i'm geist [prod. jpjp]

use me up to tell me that u never loved me
I feel like I’m never nothing
I’m tired can u just leave me alone
Please stop staring swear my face is fucking boring
I don’t need to be important I’m swinging until I knock him cold
Staring at the mirror
Should I be alive
I’ve got reason to believe that it’s just not my time
Maybe in another life

I only eat when I deserve to
Clouded mirror sit and stare in the bathroom
I been thru it all before I’m just like you
I never wanna let you down but I had to

I’d give up on everything to be a better me
I’ve got people streaming songs
but no one listening
Every lyric that I write, you know I fucking mean
You only hmu to make a song with me

I won’t get that mad
I’m just frustrated
I can’t seem to get a break and I just hate it
If you lived in my shoes maybe you’d get it
Why I get pissed off and I’m not patient

WRITING EVERY FEELING BUT I’LL ALWAYS FORGET
EVERYTHING I EVER DID OR EVER SAID IN THE END
BUT I’M TOO FAR GONE TO CARE
I DON’T LIKE YOU
I WISH THAT YOU’D CARE FOR ME
YOU DON’T TRY TO

produced by hiraeth and heylog <3

You’ve got nothing to say to me
I’m drowning in the ocean
Always complain to me
I’m dealing with my own shit
Filling my vacancy
(Just breathe)
If I died tomorow I bet nobody’d even notice

harder to breathe
when ur around I’m losing focus
Trying to speak, the words can’t seem to leave my vocal
Getting likes on ig
cause ur half naked in the photos
I’m dying to sleep, if I wake up im meeting god bro

Stay closer to me
I swear that nobody can touch you
if they tried
I’d grit my teeth and fight them all for you
I’m tryna hide, stop tryna reason what I been thru
It’s not my time, I’d kill anyone laying next to you

never should've went for u
and i ain't know your friend exists
if that was the case i would restart and go for her instead
what a shame
u let your life to pieces
who's to blame
(you)
you're the only reason i can't focus
got me losing sleep
and shit oh how i own it
tell that b-
she can drink bleach
you let it out there in the open
u show yourself no respect
and i wonder if u know this

i'm tired of preaching cus babe it really-
babe it hurts from underneath
all the wasted memories
don't go down, get off your knees
it's not the time for any pleasing

bleach ft. heylog

prod hira :)

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

i heard u talking shit
so baby come a lil closer
tell it to my face so i can use it for some closure
god shes so embarrassing 
pretend i didnt know her
stabbing thru my chest 
i cant believe she said it wont hurt

that boy gonna piss from his eyes
u told me there's comfort inside
but ur presences still hunting me down
even my shit wanna drown

gimme some time 
i just need some patience
bodys on the floor 
i make em seem weightless
if he wanna die 
then we can arrange it
wasting all my time gambling my wages

gimme some space
i just need a minute
i left my soul on a bridge hoping that youd save it
you told me jump
so i did
and i hit the pavement
ive got nothing to give 
i dont think youre safe yet

in the end its only u and i
dont shed tears on a pillow if it isnt mine
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
u say theres something about me 
u dont have to lie
turning to nothing 
ur watching me die
fuck face he a parrasite
ill stab that bitch in the neck if he wanna fight
these cuts fill the space in-between ur eyes
turning to nothing
ur watching me die

bubbles /
depends, can you go fuck yourself

hira /
i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

is it too much to ask for your time
love my patience is walking the line
save me
its not like youd try
fell too close
breaking my spine

too close i feel like an option
i keep tryna run girl 
run into the forest
i could use some safety
are you tryna hold me?
stop shaking
eyes are getting blurry

i dont trust nobody
but i saw you as family
its getting too warm im struggling to breathe
its blatant im nothing to see

i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

breathe

teach me what i did wrong
and this silence, fucking broke it fore it had a start
you can take the things you said and shove them up your arse
found a picture of your face and now its battle-scarred

id do anything for you to just pick up the line
so i can call you a bitch at least another time
you should tell your man to get a fucking life
stop being such a pussy and following mine

turn to my own enemy 
dont care no more dont ask for me
i just wanted sympathy
is that to much to ask for me

havent talked to you in like 5 days
you stare too much at my face
acting like you werent fake
i could do this all day
her teeth grip the back of my necklace
no one cares for the shit that you rented
2k for a feat ur demented 
pussy still stalking my mentions 

uh

liar
should've punched you right on your chin
should've broke your jaw
should've put you where you belonged
i put trust to set aside
but it wasn't useful
now i know it's better
we can't be friends ever

we're all alone in my backseat
i shoulda called in a taxi
her clothes off, got a head start
nails stuck in my chrome hearts
said she love my ambition
my mental state diminished
toxic time, a waste of breath
i feel the blood drip off my chest

battle scarred w/ heylog & pvrk

Been alone for a while i felt helpless 
didn't stop mean to question your intentions
you should've given a part of me lesser
i lost a half when i left your possession

oh i say im fine when im not 
cus i left the best part of me 
2 thousand miles away 
i swear to god when i get free 
i'll fall into ur eyes again 
surrender every enemy 
left in the trenches of war would you lay with me 

don't let me go 
i want more and i've given it all 
to the girl i adore 
im never enough 
no im never enough 
FUCK
ive tried to live it up 
but i feel like im nothing at all 
baby im such a dissapointment 
leave me with the ocean 

take me home where i belong 
i cant take it no more
a part of you evolved with me now i spread ash on the floor 
just wanna see you and im sorry love youre all that i want
ive waited years and now the months are getting harder to trust

trust
to trust
oh love youre all that i want
want
want

oh love youre all that i want

she says bless you everytime i ever open my mouth
and god i miss you theres no words to explain how

take me home where i belong 
i cant take it no more
a part of you evolved with me now i spread ash on the floor

bless you

let me in
im tired of who i have been
i need you i dont care
id destroy any air
throw my life away for you
till i decay for you
my love has changed for you
no i wont stay home

i can hear your heartbeat now its so loud
take my hand love and pull me down
i know what you think of me now
youre taking away all the sound
tried to set the bar so high 
so nobody can see your eyes
all mine
nobody could be your guy
i advise you never talk less you wanna die

i can not be beaten 
at the same time im useless
he just wants your heart 
but he wont know how to use it
hes stealing my style and hes tryna call it music
show that to my girl cause shell find that shit amusing

if im being honest, think im in over my head
your talking shit about me, your careers already dead
ur so funny
ur so funny
you think i give a shit

keep on pitching down ur voice when you deliver the mix

you only ask for features
wonder why i dont reply
you treat me like a number
a number all in your eye
wont treat me like im normal
expecting thousands of likes
thought u where a friend
ur putting on a disguse

maybe if you listen to me once in a while
youd all understand this is the best i can give
more that i try, the more i feel i should quit
if ur looking for an answer, buried under my skin
told you everything thats wrong with me
and
everybodys still expecting the best of me
ive been the best i can be
im a mess 
and lonely

fuck with me for the last time
this the last night
fights getting outta hand now
but its alright
fuck living 
ima die now
its about time
sheltering my mind out from the outside

ill throw that bitch in the air
you know you never had to lie
and if gravitys fair 
youll break the bones all in your spine
cause what happened to you
should never spiral in my life
im deaf to ur shit
cant hear u talking all the time

far beneath the plane
this is where i belong
cause ive been here decaying
and collecting in dust
and i dont know how to tell you love
im feeling the worst
its all gone wrong
love
im fuelling a curse

newmaker III

layed out in the pouring rain 
every drop is suffocating my face
i hope you drown bitch rot and decay 
turn around ive got nothing left to say 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me 
you gotta get a taste 
had to get away 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain 
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me you gotta get a taste 
you gotta tell me is this what i deserve 
im tryna hide between the ground and the earth 
you took my lung and threw that shit in the dirt 
hate the way youre talking i think youve said enough 

run my fingers through your hair you know you made me warm 
i got scars all on my body im already torn 
you dont talk nice about me but no one ever does 
if i told you half the shit you'd have already run 

look at you running it back 
you dont want nothing to last 
act like you hate me 
you got no safety 
look at you liking my tracks 
im in your playlist 
and i know you hate it 
you know nothing about me 
but im one of you favorites 

nothings stopping me from jumping this bridge 
tell me to jump 
ive already tried to drown in the sea 
dont make me stop 
i dont want anyone to try and save me 
i deserve to rot 
looking for no comfort or safety 
i deserve the death 

im so tired of making you proud 
my eyebags are letting me down 
dont talk to me you would have frowned 
dont listen i cant listen now 

girl you dont know 
the shit i been through 
leave me on your notes 
im gonna bin you 
slamming through the door 
you had an issue 
being such a whore 
im tired of letting you down 
my eyebags are making you proud 
dont look at me dont let me drown

Vain

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 
i promise everybodys doing better than me 
stuck here cutting losses so you can watch me bleed 
fuck that im burning money 
give a shit what it means 
my bad i pray to god you bring some comfort to me

you're safe here don't worry
i'll come back as quick as i can
rush, i'm in a hurry
can't see anything on my end
my end
haven't been the same since the last time
my peripheral is gone, there's twitching in my left eye
i think i go insane, hear the war cries
strike it down, i can't be seen neither dead and neither alive
why all of the sudden now you believe in me
"i had no potential" is what you'd think of me
now ur switching sides and wanna be on my team
i'll be the better man and just cut you off and leave

i swear youre only doing it out of spite
you got a question
ima bite
i cant believe im still alive
your bullshit is the reason ima die

you can keep on picking me up 
and putting me down slowly
youre too close 
for someone who dont know me
im too far motherfucker dont bro me
bro me bro me bro bro

something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here

here w/heylog

i seen your eyes turn to water
you must be so ahead idk what u wanna hear
from me, now im older
glass feels colder
inside looking out
what if this how they view me from the outside
ur looking down on me
ur looking down now
this blasphemy 
it all comes round 
you were bad for me
im so fucked now

i could take a knife out
put it through my wrist
let you grab it with your hand just so you can twist
i wont tell nobody
youd never hurt a soul
dont try to complicate it
ur doing it wrong
you can try and stop me however you want
ill put a hole through ur head
and then ill spin it off
im sick of being vulnerable
no one listens now
youll never get ahead of me 
ill just rip you down

ur splitting personalities 
i swear nobody gives a shit
walk right over me, ur never nice oh no one bit
i must be such a disgrace, im holding you back
covering my ears oh i love when you laugh
but its bad
i see ur faces walking round like you have
other family you throw me on my ass
never mine and its honestly sad

wrist

the winds so much colder this year
and my body heat
my body heats reserved by yours
i cant find no substance like it
no tea or coffee ever clones it
my anxietys so bad
play with my fingers look away when you glance
i try to look bothered 
you dont understand
come off so awkward and less of a man

she owns like everything that i wear
and i keep getting thoughts as if we never left
cause its 0 degrees in both places
so its like nothing even changed but i cant see your face yet

my body cant cope without holding yours i cant face it
even just the little things like smelling on your fragrance
i can barely form a sentence, and i dont talk much
youve got a grip around me, i feel i dont need to hold on

only source of motivation, i dont need to practise
tell me now to break my spine oh love ive already cracked it
cause its 0 degrees, in both places
nothing even changed but love i cannot hold your face yet

say that youre forgetting it 
but how could you just lie to me 
you knew id do anything youd ask of me 
just try and see 
holding your resentment toward me 
isn’t it so tiring
keeping all these thoughts locked inside until I’m spiralling

Out of control 
all on my own 
I’ll take you on 
can’t hide from the truth 
when you know what you’ve (lyre) done

Standing my GROUND
I see them NOW 
All the voices they start to scream OUT

No more of your LIES 
cold look in your EYES
your zero degrees 
know the frost when it bites

degrees ft. chalyre

I forgot to listen, should I pretend u love me 
There’s something in the air, it’s something I should never breathe 
Clouds are looking morbid at the top I’m at the peak 
Tryna get em out, my words get stuck and I can’t speak
Holding on this mountain girl this gravity’s calling me 
Maybe if it’s fair it would let go but keep hold of me 
Cause I have this obsession and I keep rushing into things 
Maybe it’d better if I wasn’t so annoying 
I’m boring 
This isn’t what I wanted 
Wanted 
It’s too much to hear u calling
Calling
I just want u to be honest
Honest
I’m so replaceable 
I’m not really made for anybody else
But your eyes 
And your eyes only 
I’m so pathetic I can’t believe that I tell you how I really felt
But ur eyes and ur eyes only

wish you would have met me at a different time 
Maybe somewhere far we beneath the plane we realign 
Coincide
Nlm, there’s nobody here that I like
Push me away while I’m burning inside 

Feel like an animal I’m trapped inside a cage for you
I’m far beneath the plane
I wonder if you hate me too
Take my pulse don’t let me breathe until my eyes are blue 
Buried conciously my bones are breaking out in 2 

I’ll keep swinging til he’s dead
Dropped down on the floor
And If I miss I’ll pierce a lung heart kidney and all
If only he would listen 
Dickhead keep ur mouth shut
U told me it was fine
And it was not love
But I don’t really care
I never have done
U think he’ll keep u safe
He’s never backed no one
I could take him by the ear and hold him ransom 
Now he’s not even ur friend he’ll never have none 

Take a lil time out my day
I feel it’s all a disgrace 
My body’s rotting, decaying
I’ll throw it all to waste 
When I see myself in the mirror
I put my hands to my face 
So I can’t see what I’ve done 
Don’t wanna see anymore 
Don’t ask me if I’m fine 
My knife isn’t  even towards
Any skin, it’s passed that line
Least I’m not hitting the floor
Even if I was I’d lie
Let the ground coat  me in mold 
Sorry for wasting ur time
I been meaning to let you go

newmaker IV

Can’t say ur not breaking me
It takes all that I have 
Just to sleep and then wake again
Barely eat cause I can’t 
My body’s not made for this
Cause half of it is urs
Remember when I said
“For this girl that I adore”
Ur nothing but memories 
Keep
Pulling me apart 
I could never be used to this
It’s only the start 
Recently deleted 
Select all
Confirm delete em 
1000 images or more 
And I don’t need to see em
Cause They’re all memorised 
I’m burning through these highs 
u don’t even ask how I am 
it feels like nothings right 
Fuck this u never tried
Try to see thru my eyes
The way I suffer every morning
U don’t ask me nein 
“Why u awake so late”
I’m Just talking to friends 
U won’t believe a single thing my mouth has ever said 

Cause it’s so late
And it’s so dark out
Are you home yet ?
It’s not safe out now

There’s no place
For someone like me 
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die
How could we say it’s us till we die 
How should I know
And I can say this without any lines
With my eyes closed
Cause I mean it
This isn’t a story 
I can’t go back to the start 
And ur leaving
Moved on while I’m shuffling cards 

There’s no place
For someone like me 
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die

select all, confirm, delete

No way you’ve run
No way you’d harvest 
All of my bones
All of the forest
Grass isn’t green 
I need to plant it
No room for seed 
Nowhere to hold it 

Im not your king 
Don’t let me breathe
Pull down my crown 
Get hold of me 
For all I’ve done 
This can’t be happening 
Reside my throne
A thousand miles away 

I don’t
I don’t really even need much
Just a little conversation and comfort and love 
You 
You don’t even care to explain
Ask for my advice I’ll leave you sitting on the pavement 
You look so basic when you walk around
Why you stringing him to get it you can get it now
Cause I don’t give a fuck if you desert me
But why you in a rush to downgrade, not learning 

Must not know how to treat someone adequate 
I’d love to see your broke self work outta this
There’s no way I’m in a rush to hear you calling
And thank god I won’t see you in the morning 
Yeah
Pissed off I make two fists
Knuckle broke in my hand but you knew this
He’s got one black eye, make it two
I’m not the type of person that you ever knew
It’s far from the end it’s not over yet
I’ve got four more bars written out for you
Little fuck face you’re a parasite 
Get down on your knees, not uncommon for you

Anxiety’s killing me
What’s left of my wrist starts to bleed
I walked through the forest 
and found someone who looks like you
These plants die around me
I’m in this hole deserted
I found myself hiding 
From anyone like you

It’s so late out here
All I can tell
Is that you’re better here 
and happier without me now
I’m such a hypocrite 
In all these songs I give
I keep complaining just to get off
And make myself worse

like you

away from my reach in a land I can’t get to
Give you my all, I hope that’s enough for you
Cause I don’t price myself too highly
I hope this is more than good timing 
After all that I’ve loved
And all that I’ve lost
Passing away from me, I can’t give up
Now
Though it feels like somebody wants me to try
I’m never worth it, overstay my time

I’ve been made to believe 
That everything that I do 
Is not enough, it’s never right
So please forgive me, always apologising 
Over little things, it’s not worth it

Hide your face
In between my arms
And pull me closer
It’s not enough if I can still breathe 
Then fall asleep right next to me

Find myself falling so deep in your eyes
Start to get lost, oh I swear that it’s fine
Cause you don’t want nothing to do with me, right ? 
That’s what I tell myself all of the time

Hold me to let go, and swear it’s an accident 
I wouldn’t notice, I’m not that intelligent 
If you wanna hurt me, it doesn’t take all that much 
Get it over with, I don’t have room to trust
Anybody here except from you
Why should I be giving out when I lose
There’s nothing I’d rather be held by 
Just focus on tracing your hairline 

Hide your face
In between my arms
And pull me closer
It’s not enough if I can still breathe 
Then fall asleep right next to me

next to me

You don’t 
Have to joke about abandoning me 
Cause I
Can’t shake these feelings and I truthfully believe that you should 
Don’t worry about what we could have been
Cause once you get to know me you’ll notice I’m not understood 

It’s not funny 
It’s a joke to you though
How’s it feel to know that everybody’s running away 
In my room I got my head in the window
Sorta wonder how anybody ever escaped 

I’ve been holding out for so long
I delete myself from photos
Or edit till I’m not recognised 
That’s why it’s always black and white 
So my family don’t know what I’m doing 
I can’t let them know the world that they put me in
Or how badly I want out of it 
It’s not really my fault, it’s partly theirs
And I don’t really want them knowing where it all went wrong
It’s too late now to fix it 
And I don’t want them with a complex
It’s boring 
Or make them think that they caused this
It’s awful
They only see the good things
It’s horrible 
All the shit that I’ve been through, to pull it off 
Stays unnoticed in the background , like it’s my fault
I only see you on a holiday, you should come more 

In the afterlife, would you hold me, a lot 
Or even know who I am, do you know where to run ?
Is there anything that picks me apart
But the look of me dying in your arms 
Mid June, but it’s cold out
Turned stomach and my hearts in my mouth
Two fingers, push it back down
But it only belongs in your house 
When the tide passes, I’m still in your bed 
Should have run so far, I could never regret 
It doesn’t mean I’d be with you, but at least I wouldn’t be dead
It makes me sick to my stomach knowing that you’re out there somewhere 
And anywhere without me is Better for you

black & white

Don’t hold back 
Fight me with all you can
It looks bad 
Broke and bruised all my hand 

Glass shatter 
Bring matters to my own hands
Dark matter
Dark matter you got dark plans 
This isn’t something I could really avoid 
I’ll contort my body away from this noise 
I got a brand new phone and I
Don’t even have your number anymore 
I can’t remember if I blocked it out of spite
I’ll just pretend that you stayed the night 
But to wake up without you here 
Never really feels right 
Couldn’t hate me anymore my dear
And that’s what it feels like 

I work on myself for it not to work out 
My inspiration has been running a draught 
You’d never get it, if you weren’t around 
I wouldn’t be here no more there’s no doubt 

All these emotions are running around 
Insects on my body the feet getting loud
10 million legs he’s got 10 million more 
To carry my fear, anxiety and all

These aren’t my friends oh they can’t be 
They keep themselves alive just to spite me 
Cause there’s 10 million multiplied 10 million more 
Eat me alive till my feelings are
Gone

You don’t know what it’s doing to me 
Eyes roll back I don’t want it don’t want it no more 
You can’t tell me you don’t look guilty 
Pass the blame to someone else it’s never your
Fault

insects

Said it’s only sex but it feels best when you’re on top of me
And I lay down, let this sweat drip of my body
It’s bad timing, how you’re so used to it 
Always getting what you want it’s so boring 

Oh this is not love
Please don’t tell me that it is
I chose the worst wrong
you ruined sweet and innocence 

It’s bad timing
That you’re a bitch to me
Always getting what you want, you’re so annoying 

I really wasn’t ready but you forced me to
And you can say that you didn’t, but that’s not fair to do
All the no’s in the world where never stopping you 
And I hate confrontation, go grab a knife or two
So I can see to it that I never live again 
I’ll never be made to make a choice again
I’ll regret it, but you know it’s not fair
That you had it

If you had the choice would you give it back
Pouring salt into the wound that you split in half 
Never seen it as love what’d you do to that 
Just an object for sale that can’t be all I am

wound

Fall down with me
This rain will only stop when you let it
Float 
So heavy 
Crumble under every word when you let it 
I’ll breathe through gills
In cold west winds
Won’t give me chills 
Don’t know where I’ve been

Heart shaped glass box 
Out the window this don’t add up
Fall back 
This don’t matter to you
I let some words get under my 
Skin 
Don’t breathe in 
Smoking seems better, lasting
Gills, I can’t swim
This isn’t better than it was 

Fall down with me
This rain will only stop when you let it
Float 
So heavy 
Crumble under every word when you let it 

Fall down with me
This rain will only stop when you let it
Float 
So heavy 
Crumble under every word when you let it 
I’ll breathe through gills
In cold west winds
Won’t give me chills 
Don’t know where I’ve been

gills

I wouldn’t mind if you where nice to me
Doing what you say, it don’t mean anything 
Birds out my window try sing 
I don’t hear Melodys creeping in

I just don’t get it
And hardly think it’s fair
How could I, believe something that’s not there
For me to see
I hardly even care
When all you’ve done to me, is take all I’ve had
Your choices are stupid
And certainly not right
You make me look so dumb, for thinking I’m ever liked
I’ll grab my gun and ruin the land that you made
And cause it to spiral, until everything shakes
We’ll see how you like it, when everything’s taken away
I can’t not look at trees and not imagine his face 

The child you never gave us
But the cancer you did
Sure the scene is really pretty
But what does it give

Because everyone’s leaving, or they hate my guts
Can you stop picking favourites, that’s not fair on us
Making people with nothing, and they die with no one 
Giving others everything, and they have all that they want 
Idk
Idk

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it 

This six shooters got more then 1 bullet 
It’s hitting 0 it’s hit in the green
And all my bets placed 4,9 and 13
This roulettes Russian it’s not very
Clean 
My body’s fearing the worst I can’t 
Breathe
I saw you with another guy and I 
Screamed 
How many more until you stop being a slut 
Close ur legs just to open em up

And that really isn’t even half
You had to block me just to get in his car
It’s annoying that you don’t say it with chest
Window down I bet he’s kissing ur…

What id do oh what I’d do to anyone who ever tries it 
Molotov his bedroom 
Pouring petrol on his carpet
I’m gonna rip him from everyone that he loves
Stainless steel around his neck
I’ll put a knife in there and plunge
Stop being a narcissist baby I need some love
Like just a little more, then what I’ve already got
Anything is better than what I have
Please don’t neglect me I’ve had all that 

This a dark road I laid a path and you don’t even like it
Backwoods, I’m looking backwards under my eye lids 
Light up, I light it up, I inhale just to try it
Now I’m smoking 4 or 5 a day and I don’t buy em
Load up, I’ll grab a gun and cock it at my target
Steady hand I pull the trigger, just so I can try it
Aiming bullseye, point blank, how am I standing
Put it back between my eyes and twitch before I fire it

stainless steel

Pass me, I don’t where I’m going
Should of asked me before, now I can’t show it

It’s half three at night
It can’t be morning yet
Go to sleep my dear
It’s not like I could yet
Pull me out of here
I’m in a hole of regret
Don’t highlight my fear
I’m not over it yet

There’s cracks in the pavement, I’ve been walking on 
Hold me up, outside 
I’ve been waiting for so long

Don’t get annoyed when this morning was fine 
Keep your hold on me, leech to me tight
The person that I am is no worse than the one I was
Somewhere in the winter I lay
Hibernate way too long 
A part of me died
I’m hosting funerals
It’s partly in spite 
So you can watch my body decay
Rot infront of your face
And I’m sat checking my list
Just to remember your name
Though it’s partly in spite 
It’s mostly in vain

It’s half three at night
It can’t be morning yet
Go to sleep my dear
It’s not like I could yet
Pull me out of here
I’m in a hole of regret
Don’t highlight my fear
I’m not over it yet

3:30

hold down
Send
More in
Hold out

This is more than a look that I have 
Send men they’re breaking bad 
So sad you’ve done this before
Head down the aisle 12 bore
In hand I’m ready to fight 
He’s not so keen, don’t look right 

Maybe I’d be better alone
So I don’t intrude
Stare at my phone, cause I need you
Hold me like the worlds on my back
I’m counting curls in your hair
And pray to god that it lasts 

I Don’t have to count no sheep
I just look into your eyes
One moment, fast asleep
I’m tryna stay up all night

Maybe this rain is too heavy 
For us to lay in it 
But we’ll sit out on the porch 
Covered in acid and mould 
Maybe my life wasn’t wasted
Now that you’re a part of it
I’ve never done this before
Everything I touch starts to fall 

(Covered in acid and mould)

This is more than a look that I have 
Send men they’re breaking bad 
So sad you’ve done this before
Head down the aisle 12 bore
In hand I’m ready to fight 
He’s not so keen, don’t look right 

I hate this world so much
I feel my body closing in
Though when I conversate with you, I start to feel complete again

Rushing out to tell him that I’ve found a friend
And though I can’t get a reply i know he thinks you’re the best

bore

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

You cannot force an entry 
No it’s a little bit mean don’t you think
Maybe these walls are meant to stay up 
Surrounding me
If you wanna get past you’ll have to
Kill me
Are we starting again
Without all my friends

I’m running I’m running away
You don’t have to catch me
Nothing but doubt and regret
You won’t ever find me

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

I wish I slept thru everything 
Woke up to birds singing 
Outside my window pane
Wake up repeat again
Tell death I’m on my way
He’s not too far away
He’ll take me all the same
Select all delete again

If you wanna let me go then darling
I don’t mind
Maybe a little I won’t show it you don’t
Have the time
So stop concerning or worrying about
What I hide
Those feelings locked away the key is somewhere, I resided

slept through everything

strings by @vayhn

For so long
I’ve cut my heart open
I’ve Been so heavily devoted
But what does it matter now
What does it matter now

Harboured to nothing
I’m drowning you’re not running
Am I not worth saving
Don’t leave me, I’m wasted
I’m rotten
Don’t taste me
I’m falling
You’re waiting
For somebody better than me
How I wish I could have been

Don’t ask no questions
Won’t get no lies
You’ve ruined all we’ve had
Hope that was right

I draw lines running parallel
They never get to cross 
But they know so well
And ones always on the frontline 
Though they never get to touch 
They protect so well
Keep running
I’m surrounded 
Heart open
All this damage
You noticed
Oh you noticed
In truth I’m losing focus 

Don’t stay awake without me
Stretch marks on my skin and I’m hardly
Impressed by myself and my surroundings 
Lowkey kinda scared that you despise me

Maybe it’s all a facade and you’re just tryna keep round
Breathing under water girl you cannot hold me down
Down
Both my feet tied to the ground 
Ground

parallel

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 

No better, take all the clothes that you want
Invested, in learning, why you don’t talk to me much
Forget it
I’m falling 
Into the mould that you made
My body malleable I can’t contort it again 

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 

I know your smile is proud
Too proud to let me down 
And when you hold me, embrace it
I’m done being scared now
Who lays in the dark
And pass through my arms
I could start to see forever
Never been this far
Hope my hands feel safe
Fingers below your waist 
I’ll be gentle don’t worry
It’s hard cause I’m not
Used to somebody 
Being all that I want

I thought that you loved me but you had someone else
And I thought maybe it’s better if i don’t know you too well
I’m stupid, addicted to love when it’s fair
I’d break all of these bones, if I could hold you there 
There’s birds laughing at me
But don’t know why I’m here
I’ll spend every moment
Looking over this pier
I thought that you loved me
No I guess I was wrong
I’ll stand over the edge 
Wind is coming in strong

hiraeth

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