Collabed on this beat with @gaia-zambon-778002978

Lyrics:
so i never wanna leave my bed, i stay lost up in my head
please do not disturb me you could wake me when im fuckin dead
guess im giving up thats why you always gettin left on read
dont talk to me dont hit me up im busy tryna get my bread

dont take my pulse cause i flatlined
i know youll leave just like last time
put on a show like its halftime
like im a poet but i cant rhyme

you never heard a flow so slow, guess ive given up completely but im vibin on the low, i dont got no energy for nothin keep your fuckin hoe, she be slidin in my DMs im depressed but she dont know

said she thought its just persona
said she thought it was an act
said she thought that id be happy cause im piling up these racks
said she plays all of my songs
said she listens to my tracks
said she wanna save me now before im never coming back

Shedontknow

shedontknow (prod. Gaia & HKFiftyOne)

Mascara

Mascara (Deftones Cover)

Lyrics:
Sometimes I wonder if you listen to the songs I do
I know that music's in your blood, it's always in mine too
Since we don't talk this is my way of reaching out to you
And now the sunset makes me think your name in every hue

Sometimes I wonder if you're staring out your window at the moon
You're probably not, but you're outside, you're on the chair, you're looking too
Are you looking too?
Are you looking too?

spookybands:
Are you looking at the moon right now?
I can see it in your eyes, I don't think you ever really loved me
Did you buy yourself a beer last night?
And then some whiskey right after, anyway that's how I'm passing the time

And did you tell her about me? 
That new girl that you seeing
I bet she thought my name was cool

Does she text you while you on your way over
Telling you to look up at the moon
That's what I used to do.

These memories just turn to pain
And then get mixed up in my brain
I won't ever be okay
The bar is open every day

Hold me while I drift away
You don't have to miss me baby
I just tell myself you are
To feel better (that's fucking crazy)

Sometimes I wonder if you're staring out your window at the moon
You're probably not, but you're outside, you're on the chair, you're looking too
Are you looking too?
Are you looking too?

Look At The Moon

look at the moon (ft. spookybands)

nobody likes when youre fucked, but i swear im just stuck
nobody likes when youre frozen and just cant get up
nobody likes when you say that youre trying your hardest
but still cling to vices, know its not the smartest

but what do you do when you give it your all
and its still not enough to just stand without falling
i drained my whole self and gave up on my calling
but everyone thinks im just out here stalling

nobody likes when youre broken with too much to fix
now im sick of the lies and i wont fall for tricks
so im paranoid daily from 9 until 6
and then thats when i breakdown and just start to switch

and everything goes numb, i lose my whole self
i dont know who i am to begin with, its hell
im trapped in my body, a permanent cell
i wish i could get away, run from myself

Nobody Likes When…

lyrics:
im tryna stack the bands til my pockets blue
im tryna make it back, its overdue
swear i put the work in make it true
ima keep on doing what i do

put the city on my back if it aint too late
thought id be sitting pretty but by now i still cant move weight
fell off overboard and now im hanging by a shoelace
shoutout to my baby, when its stormy thats my crewmate

and someday all this work will pay me back
i aint leaving from my post and thats a fact
i aint going nowhere, you can hate while i get stacks
if i said im sorry, well then shit i take it back

i do it all by myself
i never needed your help
i put the work in i dont think youre clocking the way that im bad for your health

stay in your lane though
i get insane though
heard that you aim low
heard that you chopped, you a lame tho

im tryna stack the bands til my pockets blue
im tryna make it back, its overdue
swear i put the work in make it true
ima keep on doing what i do

Do What I Do

lyrics:
dont know myself
how could you know me then?
hundred percent, im feeling lost
always feel lonely then

the root of my problems is all myself
ill just go back to bed
why am i so fucked, i stay inside
think about eating the lead

why do i see myself im dead now when i fantasize
got too much to lose, i dont want to go, so im staying high
id rip out my brain if i only could, so i dont say goodbye
perform lobotomy, im begging, on this brain of mine

its so empty i cant mistake it
hallow chest, but i still can fake it
cold black eyes, my soul cannot take it
if there's hope, then why do i break it

face down, a flood in the basement
i sink the more that i face it
when im awake, the more that i hate it
venom spills, the more i can taste it

i just wish i knew who i was
call me semi-automatic, the same as my gun
its like im stuck on autopilot the way that i run
its like im sinking in myself, but theres nothing, im done


lobotomy

lyrics:
do you know how much i love you
i was down bad still put nothing else above you
i told you all my secrets know it cut through
told you all my moves even shit i could run through

i was in the dirt
picked me out the mud, its like no matter how it hurt
you was by side before i ended in a hearse
swear that you a angel cause you finally lift the curse

i was trippin just to live, you seen the hunger in my soul
you aint even need no diamonds just to say you played your role
loyal to the grave, swear that bond dont ever fold
now its foreign whips and flights, you the only one i hold

you was there when i had nothing
now we counting up in silence
had to hustle through the pain
but you the reason i aint wildin

gave my heart when it was broke
you aint flinch you just stood beside it
want to keep you to myself
but i swear my heart cannot hide it

gave my trust, you never folded, swear you never once denied it
i was lost, you showed the way, like heaven came and just provided
all the pain that we been through, swear we never got divided
you the one i prayed for, i swear this feeling been invited

how much

lyrics:
you probably ‘ready know this
but my soul is pretty ugly
that's why i never feel myself now
'less i'm leaning on a substance

everybody way too normal
i'm informal and i'm fucked up
and i hate to disappoint you
when i still cant get my bucks up

skin crawling out my flesh now
everything i learned to hate
i used to burn it in a blunt
and send it up to outer space

but i'm unstable and psychotic
way i'm feeling as of late
its like i'm stuck in Silent Hill
in here forever shall i wait

suicide when i think about my fate
i know its do or die if i still cant pull my weight
another stupid lie if i say ill be okay
i know its stupid i'm way too old to feel this way

you probably ‘ready know this
but my soul is pretty ugly
that's why i never feel myself now
less i'm leaning on a substance

everybody way too normal
i'm informal and i'm fucked up
and i hate to disappoint you
when i still cant get my bucks up

you probably ‘ready know this
but my soul is pretty ugly
and i ain't even mean to do it
i know its borderline it must be

everybody way too normal
when i'm dying on the inside
feel my skin is still on fire
end this quick dont need an invite

you probably already know this
but my soul is pretty ugly
i hope that God will still forgive me
i cant even ask him humbly
there’s a pit inside my chest
and i feel bad now if you love me
cause i'm sinking in myself
i need a substance, i need something

Ugly

lyrics:
well there's no saving me
if you think that i be trippin it's the same for me
when i die don't want no fame on me
i'm such a wreck that i feel guilty if you pray for me

i put the blame on me
and i think its necessary when i hate on me
cause myself is still the bane of me
the only enemy i have is all the pain in me

i gotta stop when i talk like that
i cannot break it in my mind and then it get right back
a ghost inside me that i cant fight back
i cannot change it any more than i can change my past

i'm everything i hate
i cant escape i hit the cart until i'm MIA
i know i sealed my fate
when i finally came to terms but now i'm not okay

like, who let me get this way
you don't know me i'm a bomb boutta go off
blue poison in my veins
left for dead i need a map now im so lost

Blame

lyrics:
nightmares in my brain but, its too late now to back out
tell me i wont make it, bet i'm still gon chase the bag now
ten years comin clutch, i swear that i'm gon get the cashout
hope i stay alive for all this shit if i don't crashout

if i die know they'll copy all my syntax
when i'm gone smoke a blunt for me, hit the Maui in some gift wrap
there heaven or a hell? or will it all just end up pitch black
i cant really tell, i just know people known to flip facts

i'm my biggest opp, i pull the blade out in a crisis
i'm still standing up, i'm still breathing all despite it
i move how i want, give a fuck if they ain't like it
i'm here to get this bag, i always knew i would i'm psychic

i will get this this shit solo, ion need no team
got a hundred ways to get it, know it simple as it seem
watch the world on fire, they said fuck my lil dream
but i still do this shit, while its tearing at the seams

ion even rap, i just speak how a demon move
cold hearted from the jump, ill probably leave you bleeding through
its me myself and i, when i face death and pay my due
'til then i still be grinding while i'm tryna make it through

ion hear the hate boy, i'm tuned into the bag now
stack it up in silence, all the talking get you dragged down
work until i make it, i wont stop until i pass out
i was born to be in front, i refuse to be the background

if i die know they'll copy all my syntax
when i'm gone smoke a blunt for me, hit the Maui in some gift wrap
there heaven or a hell? or will it all just end up pitch black
i cant really tell, i just know people known to flip facts

Delusion

lyrics:
summertime, orange skies lead me home
i been feeling like myself when i'm alone
i been working in my room with the lights down
oh my God
oh my God

summertime, orange skies lead me home
i been feeling like myself when i'm alone
i been working in my room with the lights ouy
oh my God, I been busy scheming every night now
tainted lips, never helps when I speak out
release my hips, all I wanna do is sleep now
feel the drug slowly spill into my brain cells
oh my God, I been busy smoking every night now

summertime, orange skies lead me home
i been feeling like myself when I'm alone
i try, try, try, with you I tried
but I will die, hollowed out inside

i try, try, try, with you I tried
but I will die, hollowed out inside
winter's in my bones, hatred in my brain
i will show no signs, I will show no pain
i lie, lie, lie
god, it's such a shame
everything has changed
i don't look the same
awake at 3 AM​​​
phone glow on my face
god, it's such a shame
everything has changed

everything has changed

arctic eyes (hkfiftyone cover)

yeah im sick of all the trying, im not getting any place
any time im feeling blue i put the cart up to my face
any time i cannot cope you probably catch me do the race
and i know you know im crazy get the bag like any way

fuck you if you doubt me you aint seeing how i move
i will never give this up i know i gotta see it through
know the skies will still be rainy for a while until they blue
then the snow will come again and make me sick i got the flu

swear its always something but i know its never ending
you can call me psycho and i swear it wont offend me
its probably just the truth when i say that i hope you end me
you can talk your shit behind my back, that shit send me

know you think you know me but you dont, hah, bitch
i dont even know me, borderline, hah, switch
maybe ill be stable one day, i wish
like if i is or if i aint, still ballin like swish

stack all my dreams at the top of the shelf
say that ill get to it but i cant tell
i wont sell my soul if it was mine to sell
i been around satan, dont want no more hell

got no more choice now, i go all the way
and i swear if you doubt me, like fuck what you say
ill pop off out of spite i aint playing no games
swear ill grind til i make it or i go insane

im so sick of trying im not getting anywhere
its black or white, you do or dont, i guess its only fair
ima get the bag and if it kills me thats okay
at least then i did something stead of rot the day away

All The Way Freestyle

i wish that i was better but i just dont know how
i wanna do right by my girl so i can finally say vows
i swear im doing all it takes so im not letting her down
but every time i try to climb my demons pulling me down

i keep a smile up on my face but im just dying inside
i make a toast to all my failures while my soul running dry
i swear i only feel myself when im just too fucking high
its even better when im crossed and i know you wonder why

i gotta problem with myself, and i never feel safe
im holding trauma in my bones, got me feel like a slave
i wish that i could be myself i dont know how to behave
and i could blame this borderline but im too gone to be saved

i wear a mask, but its cracking with age
and im not worth it, less than minimum wage
i think that im a monster, let me me out of my cage
but if you do ill disappear to keep you safe from the rage

what would J do, thats some words to live by
im not coping, im just to get by
say im fine but i know its just a big lie
if you werent around i know id be up in my pigsty

im on saint johns bay, smokin three point five
when im this detached, give a fuck bout life
when im down and out, im reaching for the knife
know they call it self harm, but i call it my life

i swear that im trying, im doing my best
but sometimes its just hard with this weight on my chest
like im just tryna live, like no more and no less
like its hard every day guess its time i confess

if i die, middle of my sleep
i pray the Lord, that my soul He keep
im so messed up, and my roots run deep
i pray for forgiveness, i hope He see me

st johns bay pt 2

lyrics:
im so fucking tired of the same thing
wrapped up in the moment, missed the main thing
think that im nearsighted and im hasty
wish i told you sooner that im crazy

but im back, on my shit
im a piece, that wont fit
i feel bad, when i split
im not sane, not a bit

honestly its the same
know you see it everyday
borderline, im clichéd

cause im broke, not fractured
all my pieces scattered
and myself is shattered
and now it doesn’t matter

cause im broke, not fractured
all my pieces scattered
you dont deserve the weight ive gathered
you tried to save me but the pain climbed faster

can’t improve this fate
when its caught too late
its a flaw in my traits

and ill take the blame
its my fault anyway
it ends up all the same

and i hate that the way that i deal with this fate
is to run, run, run
in the mirror there's no face, and no life in my case
when i come undone

broke, not fractured

lyrics:
say what you will say, but you dont know me, huh
switching every minute cant control me, huh
sippin on the whiskey while i roll me up
leaning on the bottle how i cope, its part of growing up

i cannot escape the torture deep inside my brain
do my favorite shit but i know now its not the same
devil eating at me and its turned into my bane
wanna blow my brains out but i know im not Cobain

honestly i just hope that ill be here for christmas
for xmas, for xmas, for xmas
honestly i dont wish this on my enemies
enemies, enemies, im my own enemy

if you knew how fucked that i really was
i know youd disappear second shit get rough
but i learned to ride alone when the road get tough
you say forever but deep down i know im not enough

you probably hate all the ways that im beside me
im distraught about the things that still inside me
so its whiskey to my gullet, way you find me
i know im passed out on the couch just dont remind me

honestly i just hope that ill be here for christmas
for xmas, for xmas, for xmas
honestly i dont wish this on my enemies
enemies, enemies, im my own enemy

you dont know me

Do What I Want

lyrics:
i just pour that shit until im gone
ice around my soul but it burn strong
got me floating out my body way too far
then some smoke to fill my lungs i see the stars
i see the stars

everybody tell me slow down, if im being real ion need that
im too far gone, i cant switch up lanes, i aint never ask for your feedback
im toxic to the touch, you should know as much, pull up function where the weed at
when i pop, its five car garage, and a ice out wrist, best believe that

say i need time for myself but i wont do it
way i flow still cold like baby im still fluent
way im still here, swear im psychic how i knew it
hit the blinker every five til im sounding stupid

never let em know you wounded
never show em how you moving
wont say much but im never losing
even better if im not boozing

ride the wave is the way yall cruisin
im so bored i swear im snoozing

Ion Need That

lyrics:
im sorry baby if you think that i been wasting time
i got a chance so im just taking mine
i know im busy im just hoping you wont say goodbye
i know im lazy every time im high

i know im crazy everytime you see me crashout
do all i can to keep afloat, stay on the map now
i do this shit my glory days aint in the past now
at least ill probably be remembered if i pass now

every time i dream im seeing glimpses of the future
every time you got a ring, but im still a loser
im finally stacking cash but i still be up in my stupor
im too old for borderline, i just tell myself thats a rumor

im back on my grind bitch, just pay me no mind bitch
i cannot lose no more, suddenly i got a tight grip
i swear i do this shit, now im too legit
call me Hot Rod, im a stuntman i aint new to this

i been knew the risk, dont tell me what it is
im never stopping til i got like 10k on my wrist
im never stopping til i do the shit i never did
dont ask me for no money when i make it, bitch i plead the fifth

you and i, know ill never stop
truth aside, im still at the top
knew that i, would go til i drop
ill go til i drop, ill go til i drop

Dreams

lyrics:
i want your body
and i want your soul
i want your mind in mine
i want you in my bones
i want you in my head
so you could see unknown
don't wanna be alone

i wanna keep you safe
from all of my own states
and i know i'm crazy

i think i lost my brain
i know i'm not the same
and it's all in vain

don't wanna be alone
don't wanna be alone

I Want U

I added some elements and reproduced the drums to fit the vibe.
Hip Bones from Chlorine: https://1cloudboys.bandcamp.com/album/chlorine
Wwaavvyy from Burnout: https://1cloudboys.bandcamp.com/album/burnout

Oliver Francis - Hip Bones + Wwaavvyy Mashup

Photo Credit: https://vsco.co/sofiavels
Sample Credit: Pale Lungs - Roam

Lyrics:
I still got your pictures on my phone
Wonder why you thought you had to go
Left me all alone and on my own
Felt it coming this whole time I should've known

But why, why'd you have to leave me all alone
You know, how you make me feel when you ain't home
My god, it's killing me inside I hope you know
Been dead in my heart for a while though it hurts won't let it show

No time for farewells and no chances for goodbyes
You disappeared forever and you left me high and dry
How you gonna leave and leave me out here left to die
You fed me to the wolves when I needed you by my side

I don't want to say nothing that's bad about you
I still love you girl I'm still mad about you
There was once a time when I would never doubt you
But people change and now I have to live without you

You could have just said goodbye, you ghosted me moved on with life, anxiety and all this strife, and I wonder all the time if you just found a new guy

I just wanna make you proud
Like I used to when you vowed
To never leave my side when I was down
You let me sink and now I'm boutta drown

I can still see your face I can still hear your voice
And I don't even wanna but I don't have any choice
I try to block it out and listen to the city noise
You kill me from inside and now I'm completely destroyed

But the worst part is I don't know
Where you are or how you are or where'd you go
You didn't say nothing you just let me go
Left me with my thoughts left me all alone

I don't wanna see your face anymore
I don't wanna hear your voice anymore
I don't wanna think about you anymore
I don't hate you I just can't bear it no more

Your hair, your smile, your fingertips
Your face, your voice, your mouth, your lips
Your warmth, your laugh, your legs, your thighs
Your love, your hate, your care, your eyes

proud

Special thanks to https://www.instagram.com/fallingap.art/ for the artwork on this <3
https://twitter.com/sayygoodbyye
https://soundcloud.com/goodbyye

Lyrics:
Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

Writing this letter so I could say
Dearest friend I hope you'll be okay
Think about you each and every day
I'm still wishing that you could've stayed
Want you to know that I'm broken
Hear the words that were never spoken
I was fine until I was awoken
A heart is so fragile when it's stolen

Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

So I'll write this note and then I'll burn it
Let the smoke carry up the words and turn it
To a message from below so you learn it
Thought I wanted death before but now I yearn it
I know you want to go
Please stay I'll be alone
If you leave from this home
Don't go out in the cold

Don't go out in the snow

Please don't leave me alone

I don't want you to go

Please don't leave me alone

why'd you have to go

Prod by @cxldblxxd <3

Lyrics:
She been on my mind for a minute
Feel her in my soul and my spirit
Now she in my rhymes and my lyrics
Say she be sad and i feel it

I just wanna save her from herself
Sad girl blowing smoke by herself
In her bedroom being lonely cant you tell ya, Fats'e playing pretty girl you make my heart just melt

I want you in my bed
I just want you out my head
Hear your voice and what you said
Steal my heart i end up dead

You been on my mind for weeks
Got that spark just like i seek
Want you in between my sheets
Wonder if you think of me

Laying in the room with your lights out
Tryna get high is a fight now
Been feeling so numb this my life now
Killing my brain till i pass out

Laying in the room with your lights out
Tryna get high is a fight now
Been feeling so numb this my life now
Killing my brain till i pass out

Cause you dont know what my heart feels
Wake up from the dream nothing real
Cause i been dying in my mind
Might as well just leave cause im out of time


Dont you ever die now
Dont you ever say goodbye now
Spend your days getting high now
Im okay thats a lie now

Nearly every night i stay up and cry
Dont know what id do if you ever die
Why you be so far want you by my side
Why you be so far want you by my side

I want you in my bed
I just want you out my head
Hear your voice and what you said
Steal my heart i end up dead

You been on my mind for weeks
Got that spark just like i seek
Want you in between my sheets
Wonder if you think of me

wantyou (prod. cxld blxxd)

sometimes things just dont work out,
if you wanted me to stay you should know now,
you can tell me anything that you dont doubt,
Park Jefferson in the air while we roll out

cool breeze in her hair got my heart warm,
orange leaves in the air got me lovelorn,
cold fights on the phone make a big storm,
guess ill leave, wanna stay, got my heart torn

when i wake up my bed too big,
sleep in the hole in the grave i dig,
i walk away like i know you did,
turned my back the same time that you hid

some day when we're both alone and lonely,
some day when i want you back to hold me,
think back on all of the things you told me,
miss you feeling like you were my only

Im sorry i ran away
Im sorry i couldnt stay
Im breaking down every day
I know its better this way

can you feel this pain inside
broke inside got me out of my mind
all these days pass by i cry
wanna go back, do it right this time

i been down im so broken
cant stand my hearts been stolen
the way our lives been woven
just makes me sad im frozen

i tried to sleep away my feelings im still sad
i tried to get all of this weight up off my back
i tried to numb all the emotions that i had
i cried and laid in bed for weeks i still feel bad

Im sorry i ran away
Im sorry i couldnt stay
Im breaking down every day
I know its better this way

runaway (prod adjustisac)

zombie

explicit

Lyrics:
im a fuckin peice of shit, why you always gotta bitch
let me sleep in if i wanna, get the fuck up off my dick
know my mind is really sick cause i like it when you kick
-in me down cause i deserve it when i cant learn a new trick

im a dog, im a ghost, im the one you hate the most
im that toxic drink youre pouring raise me up propose a toast
this ones for all of the loosers, the forgotten, diagnosed
cause im one of you but im the king i really hate to boast

if you march right to your grave
nothing will ever be the same

scars on my wrist so you see what im made of
call me a freak i dont know why they hate us
bargained a price but they must not of paid one
locked up inside must be what theyre afraid of

i recorded all my verses, but im still dead like some hearses
and im trapped inside my body i feel like i need some nurses
i feel like i need some surgery, for all the shit thats hurting me
but im a ghost im never seen, i know that yall aint heard of me

write down in chalk, all the shit that i lost
while i run out the clock, just before it gets washed
know the year has been hard, got you down in the dark
cause the future is stark, that you 'bout to embark

if you march right to your grave
nothing will ever be the same

scars on my wrist so you see what im made of
call me a freak i dont know why they hate us
bargained a price but they must not of paid one
locked up inside must be what theyre afraid of
x2

i been living with the pain, yeah
but i know ill be okay, yeah
if you march right to your grave, yeah
nothing will ever be the same, without you

graves

Lyrics:
heard you around, i wont call back
im my own self, not your fall back
i been living fine but yourself i know you got some problems all that

better tell me now what you wanna do
ima listen now then ill run it through
let it all come out while im in the booth
choking it all down what i mean to you

hitting my line like i been lost
where you been living with the cost
staying up late when panic calls
heard you been fine man not at all

now you know me with the fame, and the name, in the place, where im hiding an ace, cuz your fate, is the same, when im dead in the grave, youre displaced, a discrace, while im lost in the haze

marceline whyd you have to go and get me all fucked up
know youre seeing what im posting im just tryna push my luck
got me drowning in gin got a bottle drink it up
cuz you sick in the brain watch me dying from your lust
Marceline, you vampire queen
Drink my blood take my red sheen
Watch it drip from your sharp teeth
Take my life have all of me

you said toughen up why dont you be a man
got bruised on my body so i took a stand
been fighting these demons before it began
it piled up so high i could see all the lands

you know me im not one who lives up in their body
im always floating round i loiter in the lobby
of all the thoughts i run from cuz im getting sloppy
my mind is out of order and im really sorry

marceline pt 2

Lyrics:
I'm so cold right now, hit a low right now
Hit a bowl while I'm drunk I'm in the flow right now
In the gutter right now, get her number right now
Get the number for the plug cause it's over right now

Gotta cope with the pain, get that shit out my brain
I don't need to explain, gotta run from the blade
Gotta stitch up my veins, shawty stay in your lane
Why you call me insane, I got scars you got the same hoe

I'm boutta pass out, (yeah)
I'm boutta crash out, (yeah)
I'm boutta cash out, (yeah)
See the tunnel with no light, (yeah)

You been on my mind too
Shame that I cant find you
No feeling inside you

But nothing can hide you
I know that you lie too
It's okay dont cry boo

I feel a migraine comin on
Shit too real so I run along
Nothin real when I'm analog
World is gone while I'm in this song

HKFIFTYONE

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks