throwaway (prod. ayocarie + curios1ty)

Standing under the memorial at night,
The Stars and Stripes shine so bright,
But I remember back to another time,
When they were covered in mud, blood and grime.

We landed in Da Nang in 69,
Shipped out towards the front ahead of time,
Bright lads bright faces around me shone,
Little did I know most of them will soon be gone.

Soon we were, 
riding Hueys into battle above the trees.
On the ground every tree, 
whispered words in Vietnamese, 

It's kill or be killed, 
that's for sure.
You lead your patrol out, 
seeking more,

Make contact with the enemy,
Hunt him down, 
and kill many, 
that's the plan.

Every pathway lined with fire,
triggered by a tripwire,
every step could be your last,
blown apart by the blast.

Fathers lost along every trail,
Their sons still enlisting without fail,
How do we stop this war machine,
that is consuming everything.

I still wake up to the sound,
of Hueys coming to the ground,
dropping men into the fray
None still live to this day.

We came home, 
but no one cheered,
we did our duty, 
without fear.

Now we are all forgotten by time.
But I still see me in my prime,
Fighting to keep my men alive,
as our Government denied and denied.

I look back to the Memorial,
I Think of the men I lost, 
that did never see another light of day,
Those that gave all for our today. 

My time in Vietnam

With haunting vocals and a slow-burning groove, Shadows in the Shade tells the story of love’s betrayal. The wound of broken trust that lingers in the quiet places of the heart, where pain and passion still collide.

Shadows in the Shade

Burn it down.m4a

city up

Poolside

I found a stranger on the edge of town,
Under streetlights shining down.
He said my name like it was a prayer, (Like a prayer)
Soft and cracked, just hanging there.

I told him stories through the rain,
Of a friend I’d lost, and all that pain.
He listened close, his eyes gone far,
Like he was walking to where the lost things are.

Now the night feels thick as truth,
Every shadow, pictures of our youth.
He smiled like time stood still,
And I felt the air begin to chill—

Then it dawned on me.

That I’d been talking to the dead,
Or maybe I was gone instead.
The rain turned light, the world stood still,
And mercy met me on that hill.

He said, “You never left that night.
You followed me into the light.”
The thunder rolled, my voice went thin,
I saw my face reflected in him.
And all that grief I carried home
Was carved in stone with my own name alone.

Some souls don’t know they’ve crossed,
Still talking to the ones they lost.
But silence knows, and mercy shows,
What even the living never chose.

Now the night feels thick as truth,
Every shadow holds our youth.
He smiled like time forgot to move,
I now knew I was dead— (what do I have to prove?)

Now the road feels comforting (I don't know why)
I walk beside him, side by side.
No more stories left to tell — (am I in Hell?)
Just echoes where the lightning fell.
And somewhere deep, the truth stood still —
Mercy met me on that hill.

Mercy Road

I reach for you.

Can you hear me through the static haze?
I feel we're breaking up in a thousand ways.
I reach for you, but you pull back,
Your silence is like a heart attack.

I wait for words you never say,
A love that flickers, slips away.
I crave the warmth you hide inside,
But I’m so lost, that you can’t confide.

If only you’d open up to me,
Show the truth behind what I can’t see.
I’m falling through the cracks of your heart,
Longing for a love that’s torn apart.

Your eyes look past me, somewhere far,
A closed-off sky, a distant star.
I hold my breath, I beg and plead,
But your walls grow taller with my every need.

We talk in circles, words collide,
Yet nothing shifts, nothing can hide.
I feel your heart, it’s just out of reach,
I crave your love, but it’s lost it's speech.

If only you’d open up to me,
Show the truth behind what I can’t see.
I’m falling through the cracks of your heart,
Longing for a love that’s torn apart.

Maybe one day you’ll let me in,
Drop the armour you’ve worn so thin.
Until then, I’ll wait and ache,
A heart on fire, for your sake.

Can you hear me through the static haze?
We’re breaking up in a thousand ways.
Still, I crave the love you won’t show,
A distant flame I can’t let go.

Please, just hold me now.
Look into my eyes, do not scowl.
Whisper, with all the love you have,
Tell me that I am all you need to live.

Please, Please just tell me so,
I am here bearing my soul
please just come home,
To the best love you can know.

Static Haze

“All ships in convoy—maintain course.
They are out there beware."

"Up periscope.
“I have our first kill in sight.
All hands to battle stations".

Steel belly slides beneath the moon,
Black as guilt, soundless as a tomb.
Periscope tips the world in half,
A string of lights — a fragile raft.

"Feind im Visier, Tauchtiefe im Periskop"

We breathe the cold, we count the knots,
The ocean keeps the secrets we forgot.
Scan the horizon for our next kill,
Send them to the bottom, but its not a thrill.

Men with faces turned to slate,
Hands that tremble at the gate.
Orders sharpen like a blade,
We do what war insists, we are men, we are brave.

Death by a thousand torpedoes! 
sink the cargo before it reaches  port.
An order stamped in iron and salt —
kill the supply line, win the day.
We fire into the dark
and pray the guilt stays far away.

Steel coffins answer distant lights,
A flash, a bloom — and then the night.
Messages drown beneath the swell,
Names erased men gone to hell.

I hear their mothers in the tide,
Their whispered fright they cannot hide.
They might be merchants but they are brave,
Fighting hearts beat in them to the grave.

Eyes go hollow, laughter dies,
Men get ready to kill or just die.
We commit to the final attack run,
And leave behind a mess undone.

Death by a thousand torpedoes! 
sink the cargo before it reaches  port.
An order stamped in iron and salt —
kill the supply line, win the day.
We fire into the dark
and pray the guilt stays far away.

Below the waves the old world sleeps,
The sea takes vows and never weeps.
A child’s toy, a rusted tin,
Turn to ghosts the moment we begin.
The periscope withdraws, the deck is cold,
We tell our prayers inside the hold.

“I saw the wake, I saw the flame,
I lit the fuse, I spoke the name.
Do you sleep, in the freighter’s hold?
Do you dream of lands we never told?”

Every convoy passed like fate,
Every radio repeats the hate.
We stand between two burning shores,
Counting seconds, counting scores.

Death by a thousand torpedoes! 
sink the cargo before it reaches  port.
An order stamped in iron and salt —
kill the supply line, win the day.
We fire into the dark
and pray the guilt stays far away.

“Report.”
"Radio static Sir.
A name called once,
But its all gone silent,
swallowed by the sea."

Death by a thousand Torpedoes

There was once a girl I knew,
who blew my mind through and through,
I met her at a roller rink,
I stopped to say hi and think,

She is amazing.
We talked for only a little while.
But you still gave me a smile,
I will never forget that first contact.

Through some dumb chance,
we dated and there was romance,
she was the lady, 
I was the fool.

Why I broke up with this girl,
I dont know.
Please tell me so,
I am not a bad person.

She was lovely and kind,
always on my mind,
I made big mistake,
One that I cannot retake.

I was just an immature boy,
but you were not just a toy,
You were a lady I loved,
Handed to me from God above.

Please know I regret,
all my actions since we met,
many years have since passed,
but feelings last.

Tribute

False prophets hiding in the dark,
Pretending to be your god,
so venomous, so poisonous
We've been working blinded to their laws.

Save us! We've come to far.
Now somethings gone wrong for us,
Failure. We thought they were gods.
And now we are riding the desolate storm.

We'll never learn, (We'll never learn),
We'll just thrust our heads in the hornets nest.
Save us! we've come too far,
And somehow labelled this progress.

How can we label this progress?

How can we label this progress?

There's faith in fear.
The failing state became the fate to follow.
No matter what, it is devouring everything.

"There's faith in fear"

Save us, We've come to far.
Now somethings gone wrong for us,
Failure, We thought they were gods.
And now we are riding the desolate storm.

We'll never learn, (We'll never learn),
We'll just thrust our heads in the hornets nest.
Save us, we've come too far,
And somehow labelled this progress.

We're are caught in the perfect storm.
The system devours us all,
remember there's faith in fear,
That's what they want you to hear.

How can we label this progress?

How can we label this progress?

Gods of the System

I am just an older guy making music because it pleases me to do so. I have been making music for over 3 years so some of these are back catalogue, but some are new.

My time in Vietnam

OldManMusicMaker

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