There's no holding back (or holding in) as we share our deepest darkest secrets. The Number 2, Frank Herbert's Dune series, Lord of the Rings and psychedelic mushrooms: our devastatingly embarrassing tenth episode smashes through the Double Digit Episode Milestone! Infectious laughter, trigger warnings and 2 new jingles - you will never see us the same way again!

Season 2 Episode 2 - Double Digit Dune Dung (and Fungi)

Riddle me this: who is Nuclear Jonny and why have they agreed to sponsor us, why-oh-why is the new Justice League called the 'Snyder CUT!' when it's 4 hours long, and who is the Regalest Riddle Ruler to rule them all? Is it Wallt with his vast off-the-cuff knowledge of classic riddles, or is it Holt with his off-the-wall: Bell Rings. Man Dies. Bell Rings. Listen and decide...and tell us who won!
Review, Comment, Subscribe and send fanmail to holt@holtandwallt.com or wallt@holtandwallt.com !

Season 2 Episode 3 - Riddling For Justice

"Make haste you lurch—Episode 4 is upon us!" the dear listener screamed at the other passengers as they sat on the bus/train/car/plane eagerly watching the Holt and Wallt website load: '...The Sound of Metal... Master and Ulrich... Hairdressers... and Stamps of Approval... WARNING: features the return of 'One Truth, Two Lies - Holt edition'... Can you spot the snake in the grass or will Holt's charming lies slip past your defences?'

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Send fanmail to holt@holtandwallt.com or wallt@holtandwallt.com

Season 2 Episode 4 - The Sound of Lies

The Ramble Kings have returned again - from pewter beards, magical jars, football hooligans and not picking up on sarcasm - we've got it all!
We respond to fan mail, talk about Robert Kirkman's Invincible, John Krasinski's A Quiet Place, and Holt's  mouldy, ancient bread-yeast. And Wallt gives us a special 1933 broadcast on the origins of 'Got Milk?' Why? you ask, well...why not?

Review, Comment, Subscribe and sign up to the newsletter on www.holtandwallt.com

Send fanmail to holt@holtandwallt.com or wallt@holtandwallt.com

Season 2 Episode 5 - Invincible Yeast

If you had to pick, dear listener, between your family or a wood-fired pizza, what toppings would you choose? Feast your ears on a stunning show bursting with Wallt's incredulous accents, Holt's record-breaking quote recall, jingles and a fight between who is the better character actor: John Cena or Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.

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akeverts

Season 2 Episode 6 - Half-a-Pizza, King-of-Quotes

We thank you, dear listener, for the gift of your body's moisture. 

Dive into the Holt and Wallt MetaVerse where floating screens show Denis Villeneuve's Dune on repeat, Deliveroo Drivers scan your nipples and on your Last Night in Soho an Uber driver called Candyman takes you to the launch of 
the Event Horizon.

Deep discussions of the adaptation of Frank Herbert's novel to Sci-Fi-Horror sound-design and a list of actors' names not for the faint of heart.
This December, a true belated Halloween Movie-Review bonanza awaits your freezing ears.

Review, Comment, Subscribe and sign up to the newsletter on www.holtandwallt.com !

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

Season 2 Episode 7 - Dune Deep Dive (& Horror)

Beep Beep! Your shining metal steed, called Holt and Wallt awaits. 
With the days getting brighter, enter a fresh new Season and Embark on a Brand New Journey through the screaming hills of Japanese Anime. 
Meet your tour guides:  one, whose favourite part of the Christmas Meal is gravy and their top rated Christmas movie is The Lobster, and the other, who only seems to reads out riddles for 8+. 

"But...how survive long road ahead with 2 idiots, can...crash car?" the only Listener asks. 
A solitary tear falls from the Listener's cheek at the reply.
"Tune Into Idiocy, it's the only way..."

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

S3 E1 - Ex-minishing Anime Expeditions

"Plethora...Precipice...Abominable..." 
Holt and Wallt  fabricate intelligence by utilising the big words and by taking on  reviews of Top Lane films such as Belfast and Netflix's League of Legends' Arcane. 

Holt gives us a piece of his mind regarding Bottom Lane Neflix sequels, tie-ins and ties. Wallt finally shares his Board Game design progress. And the Listener finds out once and for all which host's feet represents the ideal form of physical perfection (at least according to the Greeks).

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S3 E2 - Arcane // Belfast // Board Game

We all need a hot bath from time to time.

Welcome to our first mini-episode: hop in the bath with me, or not, your call...but let me take you on a relaxing journey through my mind as I, or we, soak up the warmth and think about the nature of time.

This first episode, called the Pathfinder's Map of Time, is a semi-philosophical, semi-fictional piece of writing less than 10 minutes long.

Enjoy!

PS - Do not operate heavy machinery while listening.

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Bath Time Thoughts Ep 1 - The Pathfinder's Map of Time

If the past, present and future exist simultaneously, then do all Batmen, from Adam West's white eyebrows to George Clooney's bat-nipples, exist at the same time...?

Do you know that GPS satellites rely on Einstein's Theory of Relativity, and, whether Robert Pattinson's jawline in the latest Batman gets the Holt and Wallt 'Seal of Approval'? Tune into Idiocy to find out.

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S3 E3 - The Mathematical Physics of Batman

You are now listening to Holt vs Wallt: The Argument over Robert Eggers.
Where Holt is right, Wallt is wrong and vice versa... Or is Wallt just wrong about The Northman's historical accuracy?  

We update on the board game development, UK Games Expo and a new game Wallt is developing called Furious Frogs and Holt expresses admiration for the return of practical effects in movies, especially Top Gun: Maverick.

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S3 E4 - The Furious Frogman of the North

My friend Hector found a way to perceive 4D objects. Join us in the bath for our second mini-episode as we explain using an analogy based on shadows and light.

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Special thanks to Andre Louis (@OnjMusic) for letting us use his fantastic music.

Visualising 4 Dimensional Objects

Bath Time Thoughts Ep 2 - Visualising 4 Dimensional Objects

"Shadows aren't real." Holt says confidently as the listeners, Wallt included, spit out their freshly brewed cup of tea across the two glaring computer screens (one plays Solaris in the background and the other is displaying the script for Bath Time Thoughts #2.) 

"What do you mean shadows aren't real?" 

"Shadows are a lack of light. You can't interact with a lack of light, in the same way you can't interact with a lack of apples."

Join us while we discuss our bladder problems, get bogged down in rambling science and talk a little about almost everything under the sun, shadows and even a planet called Solaris.

Video Referenced: 
"Imagining Ten Dimensions in Two Minutes"
https://youtu.be/hf2CxZPl7KI

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

Season 3

S3 E5 - Bladder Problems beneath the Shadow of Solaris

2 Months late or 10 months early? This Christmas, sink your teeth into some mince pies and other pleasures of the flesh including our Halloween episode. Be warned though, for who knows what's in the mince...Well, we know: Chopped Candymen (old and new), Hellraiser's Cenobytes, and some traditional Michael Myer's Halloween cakes. Oh and a very special arrival into the Holt family.

Review, Comment, Subscribe and sign up to the newsletter on www.holtandwallt.com !

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

S3 E6 - The Little Late Arrival of Halloween

From new-born babes pooping, spare princes playing tiny violins and Hollywood touching everyone's pies with their unwashed fingers, everything is a royal pain in the butthole.

Listen to us dig our own graves with the help of Daniel Radcliffe's dead body. Plus an exclusive interview with Prince Steve of Wolverhampton.

Join us for a BRAND NEW SEASON of the critically acclaimed, cult-classic Holt and Wallt show.

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

S4 E1 - Royal Pains


Suspension of Disbelief, Verisimilitude,  2nd Wall scripting? Ok maybe the last one is made up. We dive deep on what makes bad dialogue bad and even deeper on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Then after a brief song about technical difficulties, try your hand at a technically difficult game - name the film the quote is from. There's just one catch: the sound bytes are in reverse! Holt keeps score and Wallt gets 4 million points. Can you do better?

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

S4 E2 - Technical Difficulties

Join us on a Royal Rumble as we discuss tacky crowns with terrible jewels, historical films with wonderful duels, and listen to theme tunes with foreign duals. As Holt continues to suffer SBISD (Severe Baby Induced Sleep Deprivation), Wallt suggests the light hearted WW1 epic 'All Quiet on the Western Front' to bring some much need tranquillity.

Season 4

S4 E3 - Purple Hats and Bacon Pancakes

A Holt and Wallt classic ramble packed with Guy Ritchie Movies, the Japan-erience and the 7 movies Wallt watched on the 14 hour trip back. Warning: 8 headed creatures and ear piercing laughter at the end.

S4 E4 - Guy Ritchie's The Japonicles

While discussing the many advantages of blue eyes and samurais, and the many disadvantages of Neo's dwindling powers, Holt & Wallt devise a devilish new rating system based on nipples and chins. Is it more eyebrow or toenail? You decide. 

And Wallt has some board game news about Posers!

S4 E5 - Nipples, Chins and Samurai Things

Christopher Cringle, a Duke's son, leads an army of indigenous penguins called the Fremen across the icy desert plains of the Arctic, and learns to ride the formidable Sleigh Hulud as they get ready to defend their land from the long awaited return of evil Holt and Wallt.

Don’t forget to sign up to the newsletter on holtandwallt.com!

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Special thanks to Andre Louis.

Season 5

S5 E1 - Christmas, Long Over Dune 2

The first ever episode of the incredible new podcast!
Introductions are made and new stories of deaths are told.
Who almost died, how or how many times and are any of the stories true?

Season 1 Episode 1 - Introductions and Death by Various Stupidities

The incredible second episode featuring major spoilers for the coronavirus and an in-depth discussion of Parasite. Another game is played - can you keep up with London's ever evolving slang?

Season 1 Episode 2 - Viruses and Parasites

The thrilling third episode which features terrible eating habits, video games, woodworking and lots of laughter. We give you a list of Corona Crisis approved movies and one which is a guaranteed train wreck.

Season 1 Episode 3 - The Sweet Chilli Sauce & Sardine Debacle

The long awaited fantastic fourth episode which features frequent rambling and the bromantic story of how we first met. Tune in to hear our controversial thoughts on grilled cheese, outstanding board-game ideas and awful Disney movies plus a chance to find out which one of us never considered toast an essential sandwich ingredient.

Season 1 Episode 4 - Ramble On Toast

At long last the phenomenal fifth episode featuring the world's best Australian accents and some serious musical talent. We talk about addictions - Wallt's compulsion with watching moving images and Holt's  rekindled obsession with Healthy Boy. But what on earth is Healthy Boy?

Season 1 Episode 5 - Return of Healthy Boy and The Killer Kangaroos

The sexual sixth episode featuring cult indoctrination and a new ice cream recipe. Tune it to idiocy for lengthy dream analysis, movies reviews, people who weigh half a tonne, board games and other nonsensical delight.

Season 1 Episode 6 - Dreams of Ice Cream Love Bombs

Introducing the first ever Hollt and Wallt Halloween Special! Take a deep dive into true horror: the incoherent ramblings of two idiots who can't stick to a topic. Warning: may contain first dates horrors, drunken exam terror, immortality and a morbidly long list of horror movie recommendations. The question stands: Have you seen more than us?

Season 1 Episode 7 - Holt and Wallt Halloween Special

Curly hair, sour-dough sandwiches, cheat-codes and dead-legs from sitting on the toilet for far too long. How could we not invite you to our Christmas Calamity?
Let us drag you, painfully, through our childhood memories of video-games involving kids crying about Pokémon and unbeatable 90's graphics.
One of us even gets some fan mail—tune into the eighth episode to find out who! (PS doesn't eighth look like it's spelled wrong?)

Season 1 Episode 8 - Christmas Calamity

Feast your ears on the latest menu: Over-cooked penguin, cracker jokes with a side sprinkling of off-the-cuff jingles, all dripping in a classic home-made sauce made from organic rambling and BRAND NEW SEASONing. COVID Lockdown Special Offer: Taste our dish, if you don't like it, we'll give you your money back!

Season 1.5

Season 2 Episode 1 - Segmented Penguin & Mammoth Ramble

We're Holt and Wallt, two idiots with a comedy podcast and whole lotta nothin' to say about life, films, board game design and sourdough sandwiches.

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