I am full of regret for everything that I do.
All the blame is on me, and nothing's on you.
All my family is gone, and it's bleeding through.
I swear I love you, but left you in the dark room.
Can’t sleep, dark dreams, wake up, 22 to the head, boom.
Open wallet.
butterflies flyin’ out.
Fittna grind till I’m black and blue.

I go to sleep in tears and wake up the same.
When I see my reflection, all that I see is blame.

Eight years of love and eight years lost.
Born the fuck apart from crumbling bridges, lives tossed.
I would take it all back no matter the cost.
Every time I stare into your eyes.
I don't see the remorse.
Everything's fucking broken, and I'm the cause.
Russian. roulette.
Chamber spins. 
Click the hammer.
Eyes red. And wet. No blinking. Pull the trigger!

I’m a climb over barbed wire, dodging the fire.
Solid Snake in this bitch, growing older, can’t retire.
Big Boss takin' shots. It’s revenge, bringin' the violence.
But I’m humble in this bitch, sack the missions, no silence.
Two years left in this life, but I’ll never retire.
I swear I'm trying hard, but I'm trapped in this motherfucking cycle.
I’m moving, I’m working, trying to better myself, but I still feel like a psycho.
Don’t see anyone at fault, but I feel it’s fucking mine though.
My heart in a fucking ball, my mind be in a spiral.
Tossed in this pit, oubliette, no light, bro.

Eight years of love and eight years lost.
Born the fuck apart from crumbling bridges, lives tossed.
I would take it all back no matter the cost.
Every time I stare into your eyes.
I don't see the remorse.
Everything's fucking broken, and I'm the past.
Russian. roulette.
Chamber spins. 
Click the hammer.
Eyes red. And wet. No blinking. Pull the trigger!

What the fuck can I do? I deserve to be abused.
Beat me to the ground. 
caution tape.
Sight brutal
I’m trying to say the right things, but everything be futile.
Is this chapter really over?
 New book? 
What the fuck am I supposed to do?


Solid Snake

Fucked with tha stash. Slammed my hand in tha door.

Countin' blue faces but grindin' for more.

"J. R. Makin' Waves"

Fucked with tha stash. Slammed my hand in tha door.
Countin' blue faces but grindin' for more.
Ops caught sleepin', got tha jump. 
GET THE FUCK ON THA FLOOR!
Movin' that weight. Blocks at war.
Caught up in tha shit. Blood spillin' for sure.
Heart be ice cold. Feel it no more.
Nights in tha trap. Sleepin' on tha floor.
Penthouse in sight. 92nd floor!

But I’m fittna change!
Life rearranged!

Caught sleepin', jump the fuck, muthafuck it!

Girl it's you and me. Hand in hand. Fuck tha scene.
Take my heart like my chest with tha beam.
Crawl in shit, til my soul comes clean.
Give you my life. Expendable. Kill me!

All that L's I took. 
Took for tha team.
Bruh I’m fuckin' up. Gold Dust, shattered dreams.
Hear your voice. In my heart, it's a scream.
Broke our shit. Flip tha script. Crime scene!

Steppin' to Satan. But I bring tha fire.
Drownin' in syrup. 
Numbed desire.
Change tha plot. 
Life down to tha wire.
Fuck tha past, feelin' gassed. 
Fittna aim hire.
Bullets to the chest. 
Shots fired!
Giving my all. 
Mercenary for hire.
Heart on lock. 
Scars my attire.
Hear me love,
I'm a fucking liar!

But I’m fittna change!
Life rearange!


Girl, it's you and me. 
Hand in hand. 
Fuck tha scene.
Take my heart like my chest with tha beam.
Crawl in shit, til my soul comes clean.
Give you my life. 
Expendable. 
Kill me!

All that L's i'da Bled for tha team.
Bruh I’m fuckin' up. 
Gold Dust, shattered dreams.
Hear your voice. In my heart, it's a scream.
Broke our shit. Flip tha script. Crime scene!

Fuckin up. I see you fed up,
But I swear on my life, I’m done with the cut.
I’ll patch up the wounds, I’m stitchin' it up,
Bring us back to them days, when we ain't give a fuck.
I ain't trippin' on the past, chucked the Molotov; fucked up stuff,
Every damn loss, I’m still fillin' the cup.
Flip the pain, stack the game, watch me level it up,
We gon' make it out, deadass, I’m callin' that bluff!

This is real, motherfucker!

Damn!

 I see it now, I was blind til this day!
Life tore apart, now I’m stuck in shame!
Body shakin’, blood spilled where I laid!
Blew it all up. C. 4. To tha brain!
Voice crack like my heart, but I need yo face!
Every breath I take, I’m drownin' in breath fades!
Deadass, I’ll bleed for you, fuck all the fame!
Make our souls whole, take us back to our best days!

This is real, motherfucker!

Damn!

I see it now, I was blind take yo aim!
Tore this shit apart, now I’m stuck in the flames!
Hands still shakin’, blood spilled where I laid!
Blew it all up. C. 4. To yo brain!
Voice crack like my heart, but I’m screamin' your name!
Every breath I take, I’m drownin' in shame!
Deadass, I’ll bleed for you, fuck all the fame!
Make our souls whole, take us back to our best days!

Fuckin’ God damn motherfuckin motherfucker in this piece!

Goddamn, just fuckin' end me!
I fucking wrecked us! Shit’s all empty!
I gotta fix this shit! Tear it down and rebuild it!
Please, love! Let me show you what the fuck I got left!
Every fuckin' piece of me!
Anything you fuckin' need!
Woahh!!!

Fuck the past, I’m fittna torch that bitch, watch the ashes drip, rebuildin' this shit!

Crime Scene

I'm a failure.
The girl that I loved isn't here no more.
It's over.
When you left, I realized I fucked up here.
I'm in Doom. 
Alone in this room.
Shotgun.
Savior. 

Fading to black into the midnight air.
I go to sleep.
wake up.
All the while, realizing you’re not there.

Now I’m fuckin' all alone, my dreams are a warzone.
Nothing left.
Uppercut. To my dome. Fucking shit! Cracked jawbone!
Collapse to the floor, every day I’m all alone.
Just fucking bury me. 
No one cares.
Unmarked gravestone!
I long for the days when we were happy in our home.
But I fucked myself.
We ain't a thing no more!

Turning my feelings into lyrics, my thoughts on paper.
Cut wrists, watery eyes, I can't take this, bruh.
But I can't seem to die today.
No closure.
Life's a fucking rigged, ass game, no wager.
I know we were happy together.
Bright future.
I'm so sad now that I pushed you away.
I’m a goddamn. piece of shit. motherfucking traitor!
Nights come to an end, I keep calling.
Ain't no answer!

Silence so loud.
I'd scream through detainment!
Fittna stay numb, but these drinks ain't safer.
Thought I'd help you all, but turns out I aint no savior!
Haunted by the past, but I'll never forever feel captured.
Can't keep my mouth shut, but all I want is closure!

Smoke this cigarette, depression, breathe it in. No one cares.
Tears running down my face, feeling cold, more layers
I'm the villain, I be killin' happiness, no care
No love left, just silence in the air
Left to rot while the world. Screamin' out! Nobody there!
Stabbed myself just to see if I’m still here!

All I Want Is Closure

Everything turned to ash, I don't think my family survived.
The well was poisoned, but I didn’t get here in time.
Where are all the children? Unsheath my sword: genocide.
Only scarecrows left.
Even all the fucking crops died.
Tombstones soaked in red, raging inside.
Came back expecting love, but they flipped the script; now my blade will decide.
My dagger too clean; got something sinister in mind.
The republic came through, made sure everybody died.
Blood-soaked hometown, vengeance till I die this time.

Rage in my brain, revenge in the devil’s name.
Found three scouts, split their skulls, then set their bodies aflame.

Blood was pooling in the mud.
Bet. I'ma hunt these fuckers down.
I hold back tiers, see their fears, make them part of the earth now.
Caught five at their campsite, then see their ashes rain down.
No peace, no treaty for these fucks, not even a burial ground.
They don't realize they left one out, I'm fitna come back around.
They fucked around, now they'll find out; I'll come for their throne and crown.
Now I'm on guard in their village peripherals, see my ops around.

Heart turned to charcoal, I bring the fire, you bring the heat.
See the guards.
Up my guard.
Decapitate ‘em, now you won’t hear ‘em speak.
Leave their bodies rotting in the street.
Reinforcements come in force and I get the jump on em. 
Now they be pieces.
Eyes to the castle. 
Find that asshole. 
King.
Guillotine!
Scale the wall. 
Eliminate the patrol.
Mission one complete.
Creeping through the keep.
Silent assassin opened the door.
King asleep.
Imperialist motherfucker, don’t even hear me lurking.
Brutal execution, institution fall apart, bruh.
Take out they lineage.
Regime change.
This vengeance yo!

Blood was pooling in the mud.
Bet. I'ma hunt these fuckers down.
I hold back tiers, see their fears, make them part of the earth now.
Caught five at their campsite, then see their ashes rain down.
No peace, no treaty for these fucks, not even a burial ground.
They don't realize they left one out, I'm fitna come back around.
They fucked around, now they'll find out; I'll come for their throne and crown.
On guard.
Peripherals
See ops around. But they back down now!

Escape. 
John Cena.
You can't see me in the shade.
Rebirth in these lands because of moves I made.
Entrails strewn about, but your debt will never be repaid!
And if you fuck with the people, then you’ll see me again!

BITCH!!!



The Last One Left

J. R. Makin Waves


Grinding hard just to maintain.  
Wake up in the morning, full body pain.  
Down the A's, hit the gas, feel like me again.  
My girl checked out, heart won't sustain.
Crash out then down the Henny. Fittna make gains.  
Got Good intentions but I'm still to blaaame!  

Drowning myself, mind be reealin'.
Conscious cappin, tell me how I be feelin'!  
Eyes wide, but I still be leanin'
Love all around, but I can't see it.
Self medicated, bruh, but still fiendin'!  
Mind says "Fuck it". Deceivin'!  
Heart turned to stone but it be bleedin'!

Chain smokin'. Shit. Lungs be cashed.  
Talkin' to myself. Plane's fittna crash.  
Runnin' through the backrooms, alone. Hallways yellow & black.
In a fishbowl, fittna break tha glass.  
Said I'd change. But I lied with every breath.  
Three addys back. Dice with death.  
Bros fade away. Left me in tha wreckage.  
Don't want ammends, but waitin' for a message.  
Clip full of shit. Unload on my brain.  
Dirty as fuck. Washed up. Down tha drain.  
Coffin callin, but I dodge that bitch.  
Clonazepam regulates my heart tick.  
I ain’t broken, bruh, buried in scripts and extra shit.  
My blood type readin’ like pharmacy lists.  
Yo I'm fuckin cooked. Repeat this every day.


Bitch, I been sleepin’ with the Glock like it’s got my back,  
Will my heart explode?  
Not yet. Intact.  
Hollowed out; dark underground path.  
Pop oranges bruh, shit, O.D., they punchin' back.  
Slang shit, jeans buldge. Racks on racks on racks.  
Every bar that I spit sound like I'm dyin’ mid track.  
Used to bring the heat but now, Bout to collapse.  
Choppa to my thoughts. Mask off laughs!


Drowning myself, mind be reelin'.
Conscious cap tell me how I be feelin'. 
Eyes wide, but I still be leanin'!  
Love all around, but I can't see it!  
Self medicated bruh but still fiendin'!  
Mind says "Fuck it". Deceivin'!  
Heart turned to stone but it be bleedin'!

Sippin’ Wock, in the booth, slurred vocals. Save that.
Lucid thoughts drift away as the minutes pass.  
Up the beam, red dot on my future path.
Expedition careens, no brakes red aftermath.  
I'm a muthafuckin fiend. don’t flinch. don’t plea,  
Bruh I'm fire in the room, but I’ll never be seen.  
If I go tonight. Just remember my name.  
She left me for good. Fuck it. Numb the fucking pain.

No turning black. Bruh im Fittna bail.  
Call me Gearless Joe.  
Left everyone in hell.  
Tweaking, throwin up.  
but I ain't fittna fail.  
Smile through the show,  
Knocked down. Who's there?  
I wanna make it through, repair my wounds. Ship ain't set sail.


I truly wanted to be the best for everyone. 
I tried.
Goodbye.



Heart Be Bleedin' (Redux)

J. R. Makin waves

Through trials.
You and I.
Once had a time of our lives.
We were inseparable.
But I made it seem like a lie.
When did you start to despise
Me? 
I think I know when that was.
And why do you insist on checking on me?
Conversations make me feel less than dust.

What is the point of it all?
This life of misery and pain!
There ain't no way to escape!
So now I'm all alone!

I carved your name in my skin.
Watched the blood drip slow that day.
Thought pain would prove what i would always say.
Now every mirror shows my face fade to gray.
I beg the dark to drag my soul away.
You used to hold me, now you turn me away.
And I'm still here rottin' in place!

And it's all my fault.
Fucked up my goals.
Crashin' out. 
Totaled.
Still alive?
I want to end it all!

I guess I really messed it up.
I think it's time I end it all.
This life ain't worth livin' at all!
I'm all alone!

And it's all my fault
Fucked up my goals 
Crashin' out. Totaled.
Still alive?
I want to end it all!

I...
Fight?
I fucking fell!

GOD FUCKING DAMN!

It's Time I End It All (Redux)

(J. R. Makin' waves.)

Holy shit! 
There's a fire, in this padded cell. 
Poppin perks. 
Smile in hell. 
Demons shouting. Ear bleedin' wail. 
Brain glitched out. 
Why can't I feel? 
Thoughts runnin' laps, like a cracked out track star. 
Wildin' out. 12 shots.
Kicked me out the bar. 
Heart thumpin. Paranoid. Alone in the dark. 
Can't see ahead. 
Zippo just sparks. 
I be trippin' lost my shit n' crashin' out. 
Totaled car. 
Gotta keep it together. 
Bruh I'm fallin' apart.

Its a fuckin horror movie. Trippin' to my knees. Blade to my throat.
End. scene. In tha cut. 
Double cup. At Least I got tha lean. 
Can't lie. I'm a muthafuckin' fiend. 
Opps surround tha trap. Waitin' for me to leave. Fuck it. Load the chop n' come out bustin. Holes from tha beam.

Trapped in my head. Like the feds and ops circlin! Chest thumps. Hittin speed bumps
Mind be racin'! Sippin' this and that, feelin' slow. Words slurrin'! Past lurkin'! Heartache burnin'! Fittna fight it off, but my mind ain't learnin!

Wood bridge, dynamite, bro, fittna self destruct. Mind racin'. NASCAR, SKRRRT tha turns. Red flag goin' up. Knuckles squeezed tight. Palms bleed. Fittna fight. Hit tha spliff to get a grip. It's not enough to feel allright. Forget the day, suppress the pain. Just wanna get through tha night. I'd give all these racks, just to see the end in sight. Burned by my girl. Depths of hell Bruh, u got a light?

Got beef in tha trap. Shit pop off, but 22 in my lap. I deserved her slap. Dreams never last. Can't unwiiind. Lost control of my mind. Paranoid. Close the blinds. D. O. A. on sight.

Mind losin’ grip, thoughts slip, I’m in that void, Echoes screamin’ back, fightin' demons I can’t avoid, Got my mind strapped tight, locked up like it’s on trial, Fightin' shadows that dance while I’m stuck in denial. Broke through the chains but the past still call my name, I’m runnin' from myself but the cycle stays the same.

Fuck these demons, I’m fitna break every chain, Mind wildin’, a riot, tearing through my own pain. You can’t own me, I’m off the leash, gassed up and raw, I’m burning this mental prison down, no fucks given at all. 
Screaming to the sky, take your best shot!
I deserve this paaaain.
Is that all you got?!



D.O.A. On Sight (Redux)

Expired (Redux)

Grain, Brain Bleed (Redux)

Fully in the Pipe (Redux)

Executive Music Producer, Creative Music Director, and Lyricist: J.R. “Home & Heart” Inspired by Juice Wrld, NOFX and the 2000's scene.

https://youtube.com/@homeandheart?si=tO4Wk7vkboepUV7m

J.R. from Home & Heart is an active independent producer, drummer, and songwriter who came up in the trenches of the peak years of Emocore, Post Hardcore, Pop Punk, East Coast Hardcore and Screamo; spanning the early 2000s through 2014. His work is defined by the hands on grind and influence from the era of the underground and mainstream scenes.

As Executive Music Producer and Creative Music Director, J.R. oversees every element of the musical process, refining and shaping each production to bring to light the intents and visions from the best that the underground and mainstream offered up while musically and lyrically incorporating his personal experiences and prowess. He bends tools to his sound, sculpting every detail until it hits with the energy and weight the genres demand. Home & Heart is the result.

This is our home.  Our heart.