Unreal Unearth

De Selby (Part 1)

“What are you doing here and how did you get lost?”

Okay but seriously, what the heck are you doing here. D'you want the archeologists to find your bones in the forest or did you want an animal to eat you? I get it though. It’s spooky and kinda poetic for your skeleton to be found in an abandoned place in the woods. However, some manner of starved, depraved animal (or cursed blood beast)will eat your readily available carcass before mother earth's gentle embrace can get to you. So make sure to bring some peppermint or cinnamon so the wolf spiders wont get you.(It's a real problem in this place)

........Alright, since you've entered this abandoned greenhouse, you'll now be forced to have the nonsensical musings of the crazy person who lives inside of it screamed at your eyes.(despite the half-assed attempt to deter you) It ain't'nt my fault the that it's ancient law for solitary weirdos in the woods who weren't expecting company to talk the respective ears off of their trespassers. Shall we begin?

I enjoy writing. I've written quite a few stories, but never had the nerve to share them.(which is probably a good thing seeing as I'm not well-versed in the land of literature)The same can also be said of my artwork, if it might be so called. I’m nowhere near as good at art as I’d like to be, but I like to think I’m improving.(Maybe)Most of what I create just stays in a book with a few thousand locks...in a chest...buried six feet under the ground. But hey, a good artist cannot rely on his tools, lest the tools be significantly better like when comparing the note app on an iPad to a professional drawing software. (which in my case it is)

I guess I've got some reoccurring dreams about a dinosaur apocalypse; red sky, decapitated bodies strewn about the streets and some dilapidated concrete walls, you know, the essentials. I've had them for a while, and it's gotten to the point I can remember how to survive each one. They happen the exact same way each time, which means I know who dies and lives. This also means I knowingly bring people with me to sacrifice later. Alternatively, I purposely leave people because I know I'll run into them later. Even though that sounds kinda bad, understand it's a dream and I'd never actually throw a janitor into the path of a ravenous beast of the Cretaceous period.

By the way, if you ever get out of these woods, don't tell anyone about the old fast-food joint back here. I live in this place and there's nothing you can do about it. Well, you could kill me but, that'd be a waste of energy. I keep this place (relatively) clean, and there's a couple of things I could sell to passerby's. Speaking of which, you want some bones and shells? I'll trade you for some bottle caps! I'm trying to get a collection going, but I might just throw in some stamps if you can get me a photograph of a llama with a lampshade on its head.

I didn't anticipate for anybody to read this. I know the sad excuse of a warning at the beginning was bad, but if you kept reading and stayed conscious long enough to read this message, I might as well let you keep your liver. It's all pretty boring as you could tell, so I hope you weren't expecting to find any sassy government secrets or juicy blackmail.

Well, that's all from me. I hope you weren't planning on doing anything super important before stumbling upon my (v e r y) humble profile, because I probably just wasted your time by making you read run-on sentences and bad grammar no mortal soul was meant to read. But hey, maybe you were looking for something to keep yourself from working and you wanted of keep procrastinating for the sheer t h r i l l of it all.

Now get out, or you're gonna become compost for the hydrangeas in the back over there. That's not a threat, it's a warning. Seriously they eat people who aren't taking care of this place, now vamoose.

De Selby (Part 1)

Hozier