lost my teeth in the snow

damage

time

awake

spiral

burnin when i fall in
put the sheet over my skin
gone and you know it
hot to the touch but im frozen
under the weight of my sin
fingers counting
i can hear the music
make the blood spill
take the white pill
double dosage
overloaded
you would never know it
keep a secret i dont show it
keep it on me and its loaded
i cant feel shit im a ghost now
i can feel the stab in my heart like
the day that it happened
but it doesnt even matter
made my heart shatter
but now my pockets fatter
what happens after
is there life or somethin similar
i dont even care now
i just wanna be with her

acidic

vulnerable people aside treacherous seas

bad girl haunt me always thinking
is it fleeting will you stay with
me if im me cant see through
anxiety you're blistering
i need you over cant get over
sadness isnt okay sober
good enough to wrap around you
never enough to surround two
bodies suspended in water
swallow freezing ocean water
smoke while we fuck we dont breathe it
why dont we talk about dreaming
she told me the walls were leaking
im not one for heavy breathing
hurt my tongue when you kiss me 
i bite my cheeks and hope i bleed

i bite my cheeks and hope i bleed

a train came by at the end of me recording

i cant control your head it
makes me sad when you are dead
it's what we have it's what we had when
we can be happy again i'll
make myself more than your friend i
want to make you feel again
since you have been so numb they fed you
from their mouths filled up with red
it's in your head wont stop again

in yr head

your bones brittle and
your skin covered in marks
control everything
cause i wanna take my time
you're my favorite
person to talk to when i wanna die
when im high with you
all i wanna do is kiss you
sober dreaming
isnt what im feeling now
now things are different
they're always changing when you get so bored
this is the last time
ill think of wanting to call you mine
ill wait for nothing
while you wait for me to come around
he'll change his mind
like every time he did before

pic by rob
http://oldcondom.tumblr.com/

u made me so tired

ill start today making my way away
who says you have to wait to have anything
i know what you really want isnt just me
thats what i wanted too but you fucked it up more than you can see
i want to wake up dead
never feel a thing again
and i wont be scared of it
i just need to
and im not even sure if im pushing or falling away
out of your arms that held on too loose to me
cause the words that come out of your mouth are mold on my skin
and right now i bet you regret ever letting me in
i want to wake up dead
never feel a thing again
and i wont be scared of it
cause everything is just pretend
i think i want you to know
all the places that id rather go, than be
with someone who understands how i feel
and it hurts that you're so much like me
and i guess thats why i think we should be
as far apart as can be

get out

this time is different
i feel different
lost under tension
fateful companion
your skin is frozen
my wounds closing
you overestimate
the ones you love the steps you take
i want us to be best friends but
maybe baby i cant pretend
when im asleep
is when you call me
don't talk too deep
we'll be sorry
find hope in nothing
we are nothing
i want us to be until the end
maybe baby i cant pretend

the pictures on my phone are all of you

king of trees
burn these leaves
that swallow me
i cant see
and now the sky
is turned
to black
and white
i might
its fine if you feel
sick when im here
ill stay alone
hate you all
but u, boy unchained
swallow rain drown again
its your brain thats in the race
dont tell me this cannot erase

pic by rob

r u awake

baby wants to fight
always wearing black
mommys not alright
never coming back
i like the way you pull your face
it tears in two the metal taste and
i will make you feel completely
ravaged, ruined underneath me
i am burning up
watch the smoke come out
cook until it's tough
open up your mouth
you bite too hard your teeth are crooked
blood and spit misunderstood
ill pull your collar lead you there
it is heaven please just dont be
scared  of his face
hear  what ive seen
stand  in his place
rot  flesh like me

pic by rob
http://oldcondom.tumblr.com/

self

mind trapped in flesh
feel my distress
i cant hear you
i cant heal you

see me in dreams
its not the real me
waking up to nothing

open his eyes and hes smaller than anything hes ever known
floating in nothingness running from everything hes ever known
rip him away from the boy in the mirror he wants to be known
holding his insides they spill out so easy dont want them to go

holding softly
lose my senses
feels exhausting
conscious ended

slow decay 
this skin will change
but mind the same
as always

open her eyes and shes smaller than anything shes ever known
floating in nothingness running from everything shes ever known
rip her away from the girl in the mirror she wants to be known
holding her insides they spill out so easy dont want them to go

it unfolds

i am just a process
no more man than i
feel too much to process
i feel it in my eye

i believe in something
i believe in no
thing i believe in makes
sense to me any more

they all play the game
i wont play the same

biting at my tongue
i want to understand
why this happens to me
the pain is in my head

i dont know his name
he drowned in the rain
asking if he's sane
ripping off his face

he's upstairs / dissolving

memories melt in my mind and
who i think i am will die
reasons why i try to find im
multiplying in my
head im seeing patterns
my head is going faster than the
body that i see in bed
im letting go forever
its hurting but doesnt that mean that im growing
change the blood that i am holding
who am i controlling
is he wrong for listening to
demons calling talking to the
open door hes down the hall
went in the wrong direction
getting sick of his perception
he will tell you what he finds inside
but soon forget this state of mind
keep running in and out of time
his sense of self has always been a lie

in skin

wilting flowers
getting older
staying here
feeling colder
reaching out and
pulling in the
hand is gone but
you're still here
looking inward
going slower
closer if i 
close my eyes
all i see is
feathers falling
backwards into
nothing skies
stomach pain
down my face
hollow brain
its okay
didnt leave
only changed
what they see
you are me
now i look
beyond thought
it is one
you are free
i'll remember
what you said i'll
find you somewhere
in my head i'll
make sure they know
what you saw i'll
make sure they know
what you felt i'll
make sure they know
what you thought i'll
make sure they know
who you are

you are sky

i see it in the dark
slipping out of my arms
pushing against the walls
prisoner happening
cut open the skin
leaving out of the marks
the dog is foggy eyed
the sky is leaving me
pollution in the head
consume and feed your self
i burn the path i led
the mind and body melt
the clouds are breaking now
spewing out of the mouth
i left my thoughts behind
nature of this is now
pollution in the blood
consume and feed your hell
i burn the path i led
my mind and body melt

im in the dark with my head in my hands
what am i worth if i am not a man
want to go home but i already am
all of this life ill be stuck in my head
warm and safe feelings i dont want to leave
its starting to hurt every time that i breathe
im letting go of what isnt here now
wont forget the bitter taste in my mouth
i know this is what i get
privileged piece of shit is dead
living dying nothing
nothing nothing nothing
i am nothing
feels like nothing
i see nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing

phosphene

comforting skin next to me
she said that i can never be
myself when i die i will be alone
listening to her heart i can't feel anything
below my neck, and now my thoughts will take control
and if u prefer
i'll leave out all the details of this emptiness i feel
and if u prefer
i'll be around to listen to your softly spoken words
darkness seems to make isolation easier
i welcome my hallucinations
understandings of what i am will come undone
as i spiral deeper into nothingness
but if it helps me sleep
i'll take out my frustration on my temporary skin
if it helps me sleep
i'll smoke until i never have another dream of you
being in this space where nothing stays the same
i feel this biting clawing pain inside my chest
fly against the window pane soon to die
why does he try
why try

swallow

dont know why its so dark at night
its feeling colder every time
it never dies
its always right
where i am is where i cant see
what i see is where i am not
ill never die
severing identity
temporal boy hes bleeding
beginning to being free the
flesh that chokes him back to sleep
when and where am i
inside where everything is nothing
i am dying in my dreams
feel like i might be in too deep
i wake up when i fall asleep
it always dies
swimming deep in darkness but i
still feel myself breathing
creeping under hanging feet
the entity you'll never see
running out of time and falling
out of space the indescribable geometries


https://linktr.ee/hysterla

hysterla

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