dont know who you are but your music is super mega ultra awsome :'3 thanks for sharing with world

lyrics:
coming to terms with dying alone
mindless lobotomy staring at phone
after having a life that is empty at most
brain damaged parasite seeking a host
i have 22 years worth of baggage you see
and nobody can carry such deadweight for me
im expendable   surely im great for the good
but the bad is so bad that it ruins the mood
exploding head syndrome is always a blast
and i bend over backwards and land on my ass
which is always the issue thats holding me back
making excuses for people who treat me like crap
so id stay home from school but now school is at home
so i lay in my bed all day browsing my phone
neurodivergency eating my time
wasting my life being online

down at rock bottom , midlife crisis coming soon
throwing me out from a plane with no parachute
i have no plans for my life and nothing to do
nothing to do
down in the gutter, surrounded by sewage drains
stinking up everything till i relapse again
rock bottom doesn’t feel so different from my bed
so i guess

coming to terms with my spinstery self
is less of a shame spiral more like accept
so i’ll just live as a vampire suck out the fun
of every person who thinks im the one
i dont like to imagine the future at all
but maybe without all the trouble of love
i’d be fine on my own drinking blood from a bag
500 years old and still just as sad
so the futures abhorrent , and the past is a pain
and the present is empty and boring and lame
homemade brain tumor eating my skull
gnawing and gnashing head empty no thoughts
and livings repetitive  lifes just a bust
everythings relative  i am just dust
just the bug you brush of your ear
singing my songs that nobody hears
down at rock bottom , midlife crisis come again
throwing me out from a roof with no working brain
i have no goals for my life and nothing to say 
nothing to say
down in the gutter, surrounded by rusty pipes
falling asleep in the shitwater overnight
from shit i have come and to shit i’ll return thats  fine
thats fine

Rock Bottom

Body Terror Song (AJJ cover)

lyrics:

im becoming consistently worse everyday
and i am turning into someone i really hate
and time just ticks on the final day will never come
i can’t give up so i am forced to keep on
all ive wanted is suddenly so grey and dull
aspirations have turned into a muddy blob
nothing spikes me and nothing ever really stays
only person i trusted to suddenly went away

sleeping till the day is new 
sleeping till i feel confused  
doing all the things i shouldn’t 
picking fights and acting stupid 
no one really sees me do they?
if they did why are they here then?
all i do is make them sad
all i do is always bad


how i wish i never mattered to anyone
dissapointing is worse when its someone you love
and thats what i do, consistently ill let you down
i promise you, its better if you get out now
all I’ve wanted is suddenly so out of reach
how i miss it, the hopeful naitivity 
back when i dreamed, so convinced it’d work out soon
only 15, now im 23 in june

sleeping till the time is stuck
sleeping till i can’t wake up
doing everything to get by
is that why im still alive now?
why have i not cracked the code yet?
am i looking in the wrong place?
all i do is push my luck
all i do is always wrong

Always Wrong

no surprises (radiohead cover)

this version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD81z-YJX-g

Mom - Bloodeater (cover)

lyrics:
god it sucks to want to want but  lord I’ve tried and i just dont
i need something to stay afloat, got cinderblocks for feet  i know 
“just try your best” i do i did, im standing on a falling cliff
“just take your pills” i did, i do, how many more until im thru?

this liferaft I’ve been granted is just cardboard and its slanted
and wherever i was going doesn’t matter anymore
its hard to care bout destinations when you’re drowning on the way
so if i hear another “years from now” i swear ill go insane

i miss my shrink i had in 2020, miss the years i left my room
the years where i could give a fuck about the things i feel or do
i miss when i was singing to nobody in my childhood home
when nothing felt performative, and bettering was full of hope

my god thou hath forsaken me, and birds are picking at my corpse
im strung out for you all to see, but all i get is: love this song
im overwhelmingly aware of everything that i do wrong
but how can i change that, theres nowhere to go if i move on

nowhere to go if i move on

and god how could i ever know  how useless it would feel to hope
the more i am disappointed the more i expect the worst i know
“just call the hotlines” oh i did, they told me to just go to sleep
“just call your shrink” and oh i will, but shes sick like she always is

this “bettering” im searching for is nothing but a canker sore
a wound that i keep touching so it cannot ever heal
its something i’ve been wishing since i was just a little kid
but it just hurt to realise the thing i want was never real

i miss the years i wasn’t sick, when i was ignorant in bliss
when i was small enough to play and never think about a thing
where i was on the swingset so convinced that i really could fly
now if i see a swingset  i can’t help but start to cry

my shrink thou hath forsaken me, a month between each useless talk
i keep on eating worthless meds and keep on getting worse and all
i want is to be better but what does that even mean?
i keep on wishing  i will wake up and this all would be a dream

Canker Sore

Victimless Crime

hallelujah acapella

lyrics:

im just a sorry little snail 
that slimed my way into your life
and now you almost have a kid
and now you almost have a wife
and we are sitting in your kitchen
and i watch you drawing me
you always make me look so pretty
always make me feel so seen

its been like 3 years since i met you
but i have known you all my life
cus as a kid i was so certain
there was an angel by my side
and in the nights where i was sure
that life was never gonna change
i knew to stick around for something
and it made sense the day we met

how’d you find me
how’d i find you?
why’d you like me?
like i liked you?
were you hiding all these years
or did i just not know where to look?
but now you got me
and now i got you

and we are sitting in your kitchen
and we are lighting our smokes
and you are watching me laugh dumbly
at some innapropriate joke
and that is something that i vowed to
stick around to always see
 im watching over you
the way you’ve always been watching over me

and the daniel johnston t-shirt
covered in neon pink paint
that you bought in san fransisco
but decided to give me
and all your stories of your lifetimes
of your family and friends
and all the things that you’ve created
all the lives that you have changed
i hope you know that you are special
hope you know how good you are
hope you know you’ve changed my life
and let me have another start
you are my friend and you’re my family
and if i cannot be your kid
i will still be there till forever
the way i hope you’ll be for me

Guardian Angel

lyrics:

just because i survived 
doesnt make me stronger
i dont feel like a survivor
i feel like frankensteins monster
artificially alive
with shackles stapled to my ankles
carrying weights that aren’t mine
with a body torn and tangled

i am still alive just like a cockroach
hiding underneath your sink
i survived but not on purpose
and what do i have to show for it?
a repertoire of sorry songs
and calloused fingers playing chords
i write and write with no prevail

i have a backpack full of rocks but all the rocks build up in time
and whilst i know their mine to carry , they were never really mine
i have to bear your heavy burden, have to bear it and survive
but god i can’t keep pushing rocks up hills when they keep rolling down

so im staying in my dirt hole
like an ostrich saving face
leave my tossed out dirty clothes around
like a makeshift bed
and if i curl up in the corner
to cry until i sleep
that’ll be another question
i’ll avoid and then repeat

not saving myself for anyone
im saving you from me
cus im as toxic as a wasteland
and as awful as can be
im like candy good in portions
but ill carve holes in your teeth
and ill smother all your organs
till you grow tired of me

i have a chain that jinge jangles all the way home to my bed
and if my bodys scarred and mangled that means im making progress
i know moving on will hurt and holy fuck it hurts like hell
but god i can’t push rocks up hills without hurting myself

Hurting Myself

lyrics:

dumbass what are you doing? tell me! 
can’t you see that person didnt care what you were saying
you got ignored again cus you are boooring
but can you really blame them when you act the way you do?

listen stupid, you are ugly. all your friends know too
just look at them, you see how they avoid ya?
you are the darkness that surrounds you
thats why everybody hates you 
and trust me everybody hates you

take a breath and take one more until ur hyperventilating
be ashamed of your anxiety, another thing ur faking
please do everyone a favour and just quit this whiny shit
but you’re enjoying this pretending, you’re enjoying acting sick
if you really were depressed then tell me how come you are laughing?
i live inside your brain so i can tell when you are bluffing
please stop crying, im just telling you the truth, somebodys gotta
when   you’ve    got everybody else convinced

fuckface why are you happy? stop it!
dont forget the razor that i stuffed into ur pocket
just be yourself. lame and gloomy.
do you really think that anyone would you like you if they knew me?
listen asshole, you are worthless.
just a nervous little creep who never really found a purpose.
think you’ll catch up? you’ll be sorry.
the only thing you’re really good fors making everybody worried

little loser you should hold your breath and never breathe again
you should just realise by now i am your one and only friend
you think that anyone would like you if they knew what you were thinking?
it doesn’t take a lot to see right thru your bullshit made-up illness
i see everything about you that you try so hard to hide
every single ugly thought and every single fucked up part
you wanna hurt your friends? well go ahead, stick around and watch
you will inherently cause problems if you choose to get involved

little blood girl wheres your power? wheres that confidence you preach?
are you just a little liar? just a little lying freak?
are you deaf? why dont you answer? cut your thighs and make it bleed
i can make you do the things that makes your shrink break down and weep
no one likes you, they will kill you, everyone is out to get you,
you’re a liar, a deciever, no one cares about your pain
fucking scumbag,  youre a fake and you’re a fraud and you’re a failure
you should just die, it’d lift a burden from your friends

you think your illness is whats holding you back? truth is it is you
you are the reason for your illness, everything that you’ve been thru
you’re only as bad as your worst thoughts
and where does that leave you?
kill everyone, kill everyone, kill yourself! come on!
just be grateful cause i could be worse, im censored for this song
you are thinking this so there must be some truth in here somewhere?
dont you think so too?

blood girl why are you hiding?
even with the tv on im here inside your mind
why dont you answer anymore? im bored just playing with myself
its way more fun when you throw up or think you’re gonna go to hell
the pills won’t kill me, i hope you know that
i am a chronic little demon
and ill stay cus your my best friend
whats gas lighting? like on a stove?
oh by the way
was the oven on before you left for school?

Inner Dialogue

Hello. I am Blood Girl! 
I am a 25 year old nonbinary creature that sings about sadness and bettering

Always Wrong

Blood Girl

Recent comments

David Mclaughlin

someone⁉️

Nathalie

ɽadon thane of bev

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