this is the worst time of my life :/

lyrics

—————————

wake up n i wonder will i die today
when i think about all the drugs i take
i can’t help it when i’m sober i don’t feel okay
i don’t know if ima make it 
if i have it ima take it like fuck

i needa start soberin up
but my feelings make me sick as fuck
i needa be numb
i hate what ive become
& sometimes i think that im better off
under the dirt
6ft sleep
lie me in a hearse
..
yea i know im the worst

maybe i’ll get it one day
but now im getting high again
fuck it forget it
im giving up
im getting high again
(no not again)

wait no, no wait
thats just my brain, 
bipolar, insane
i really need change

i need a life with a substace
i needa put down the substance
i needa quit with the fuck shit
ima stand tall soon jus truss it

i try to keep my head up
but the thoughts that reside
are too heavy to hold

—————————

maybe i’ll get it one day
but now im getting high again
fuck it forget it
im giving up
im getting high again
(no not again)
wait no, no wait
thats just my brain, 
bipolar, insane

a cry 4 help [prod. wellfed & caustyk]

loaded gun! - lyrics

————————————

aye i put my fist thru the wall again
im putting back up my walls again
they just want me to fall again
& all i want is for this to end

hate it, every single day i feel like breakin
wasted, fell thru the floor & hit the pavement
baby, say that u need me but u playin
face it, maybe my life ain’t worth savin

my friends they hate my guts
my family thinks i’m nuts
everybody thinks i’ve lost it
wish i had a loaded gun! x2

Am i crazy who knows
I let my ambition flow
All of my voices explode
Screams from inside my soul

Took a little to much
Here i am again
You say that this is true love
Thats why it burns in the end

Say you need me
Youd rather bleed me
powder freezing
numb my breathing

Say you need me
Youd rather bleed me
Cup with my feelings
Dying in the evening

grinding my teeth while im sleeping
i only only see u when im dreaming
inside of myself i’ve been screaming
did me so bad like why u do me like that

my friends they hate my guts
my family thinks i’m nuts
everybody thinks i’ve lost it
wish i had a loaded gun! x2

loaded gun! w/ frvr&alwys [prod. trace ✰]

loser

follow SAMSDEAD

loser [prod. SAMSDEAD]

follow P Sway

fuck up w/ P Sway [prod. Lil Biscuit x RODGER]

make my dreams come to life [prod. misery]

lyrics
------------
drifting away
i'm so out of place
the void in my eyes
addicted to pain
i'm burning inside
i can't hold this weight
ur like the sunrise
& i'm like the rain

(got me feelin so empty
but it's fine
i'd rather stay inside)x2

(here we go again i wrote another sad song
i can't help it everything just feels wrong
this is hell
& i've been this way for so long
shattered picture frames
i'm the one 2 blame)x2

shinxbi: 
(i can't
figure out what went wrong
you, & me
used to sing along 2 sad songs
and, u see
all the scars that i hide
cus i won't forget u
& i won't forgive u)x2

another sad song w/ shinxbi [prod. why loner]

lyrics
——————
u ask me whats wrong
i tell u i’m fine
i’m tired of living this lie
u tell me i’m strong
but that’s just a lie
i’m tired of wanting to die

wake up to the same stuff
in the same rut
tell the same bluffs
to myself
need helpp
make the same cuts
til my skin fucked
shit sucks
black on my nails
i got ice in my blood

watch me as i fade to darkness
each day gets harder to breathe
i try but i can’t find a purpose
i’m sorry but i needa leave

darkness [prod. neverday X skami]

lyrics
—————
i’m sorry mother
for all of the shit i put u thru
 & father 
i’m sorry i couldn’t be the man u wanted me to
& sister
i’m sorry that u couldn’t look up to me
im sorry
i know i ruin everything

maybe one day i’ll get this right
but for now
i can’t find a light

(but it’s fine
i guess i’ll be alright)x2

i’m sorry for everything 
i’m sorry for bringing this misery
i know i’m a mess but i try my best
being choked by all of my regrets

follow Nicholas Allan

i'm sorry [prod. Nicholas Allan]

follow https://soundcloud.com/itsyungvan

i can’t breathe 

———————
lyrics
———————

*lovespelledbackwards*
(i feel faceless
tell me where my brain is)

feel weight on my chest
i cant breathe
lay awake in my bed late at night
i can’t sleep

getting fucked up
i cant face whats inside of me
can’t handle the truth
so just lie to me
getting fucked up
i can’t face what’s inside of me
so just lie to me
just lie to me

*yung van*
what the fucks wrong with me
can’t go out with company
stay inside
& try to cope with these
feelings leaving me hopeless
alone, no peace
i’m a seed, but no support to be
something more
closed all the doors
lay on the floor
stare at the ceiling til i feel no more
i’m the one who gets ignored

faceless w/ Yung Van [prod. helpless]

there’s no way out

——————
lyrics
——————
(sometimes i wonder
what i’m doing here
i don’t know why but 
i just feel so scared
of going to sleep
cus i just suffer in my dreams
there’s no way out
no there’s no way out) - chorus

so why do i act like this
every single shot i miss
im just so tired of it
im just so tired of it
ooo
(black on my nails
got black in my hair
tried calling ur phone
but u weren’t there)x2

u weren’t there x2

-chorus

idk anymore [prod. Nicholas Allan]

produced by loopy

can we start over? [prod. loopy]

lyrics
——————
i feel like a mess all the time
its a nightmare
im tired n stressed all the time
i get night terrors
but sometimes im blessed
& its fine
im alright yea
i’m alright

i feel like im waiting to die
what do i care
im broken inside
im just running from my fears
ruin my life
push away all of my peers
i dont wanna die here

she dont like the way that i act
i dont like myself, as a matter a fact
orange empty bottles right next to my bed
nothin but a junkie, fuck i wish i was dead
i wish i was someone else
i wish i was someone else but me

(guitar solo)

faded im falling fast
things change & i fade to black
dying while time goes past
my head 
there i stay trapped

i wish i was someone else
i wish i was someone else but me

follow dr3amb3ing

i wish i was someone else [prod. dr3amb3ing]

lyrics 
———————

*lovespelledbackwards*
tell me how to live when the sky is falling
the sky is falling apart
lost ur purpose & lost ur calling
i swear know what thats like
n wake with no intention
of leaving ur room
let alone get out of bed at all
im trapped between
these 4 walls

every day i wake up
searching for a new day
but it’s always the same old thing

*shattered*

baby it's cold 
all on your own
maybe we're stuck 
dying in snow
baby it's cold 
all on your own
maybe we're stuck 
dying alone
tell me how to live
tell me how to cry
tell me how to fix all of this pain i feel inside
vanish like a ghost but you living up on snapchat
i don't wanna fight
i just want a simple call back

*evol & shattered*
ayooo
here i am
& here we go
lifes waiting to begin

follow shattered

the sky is falling, again.. w/  shattered [prod. born hero]

OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO
---------------------------------

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJpmpm9I-Zc

produced by https://soundcloud.com/domynoofficial

lyrics
————————
i just wanna feel good
i just wanna get better
i know said i’d quit
but that was last september
if i keep this up
ill be dead by december

i can’t even live w/o that rush
yea i can’t even live w/o that cup
with u im dead
without u im empty
i took too much
but i swear its not enough 

yea i want u so bad
oh u make me so mad
i should leave u the past 
but i know that i cant
i been starin at the mirror
i don’t really like what i see
see my vision getting clearer
now i gotta make it burry

how u sayin
let it go?
when u all know
i just wanna coast
fall back
right in to the door
always do the most
needa smoke
roll me up some dope
then i swear ill go
u wont see me
ever again
i hope u know

dead by december 
will u remember me?

produced by domyno

dead by December [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION]

lyrics
—————————
u didn’t care like i thought u did
say u think im doin good
well its the opposite
fall back
get me off of this
death callin
show me where the coffin is

feelin bad but i know
if i try than i can
make my dreams come tru
like a star in the night
when it shines so bright
with the sky
& i think of u

& i know that
things aren’t always what they seem
i wanna go back
but i can only seem to do it when i sleep

i don’t like this
the feeling inside it
eats me alive
all the time
i cant fight this
indecisive
i feel like im dyin
pacin’ & whinin’
the tides keep on risin

& one day ill make this right
& one day
ill make my dreams come to life

produced by dead spyro

make my dreams come to life pt. 2 [prod. dead spyro]

sry for the hiatus. love y'all <3


lyrics
——————
so bad & i’m in my head again
i need someone to help me out of this
fucked up with the way it had to end, but it’s better if i call it quits
but i’m sad & ur gone put a gun to my dome but i never meant to complicate it
omg u got me so frustrated 
i can’t believe that this happening again

i don’t know who i am
tell me, how did i get here
i don’t know where i stand
i really don’t wanna die here

woke up in a really bad dream
i don’t know how to fall asleep at night
haven’t left my room in weeks
lost everything & i just wanna cry

where the fuck did it all go wrong
& why the fuck can’t i write a song
& where the fuck i have i been lately
drowning in sorrow can somebody save me

this is bad i can’t breathe 
i just suffer alone
in my bed i feel dead
i don’t know where to go

follow Domyno

it's better this way [prod. domyno]

produced by https://soundcloud.com/prod_loopy

lyrics

—————————

maybe i should get a grip
you’ve been gone
i don’t like it
i don’t like this one bit

maybe i’m not meant for this
i feel the time
slip thru my grip

let it go
i wish i could do that
stuck in place
i just wanna go back
if i could reset time
u can bet i would that
can we start over again

can we start over again(x3)
again & again

let everything that u once knew go
i’ve been a mess u could tell, i know
the silent screams yeah they ache my bones
i hope one day that i’ll make it home

i’ll make it right back home 2 u
i’ll make it right back home

can we start over, again? [prod. loopy]

u can have my heart
but it's rotten to the core.
---------------------------------------

lyrics
-----------

intro
——————-
i been in a rut
wtf do i do
only time i’m fine
whens im w u
only time time i’m fine
whens im high thats tru

i wish i wasn’t like that

chorus
—————
i been fucked up
& i hate it
drugs don’t work
& i’m jaded
will i ever learn my lesson
i think my life’s passed expiration

evol
————
i think my life’s passed expiration 
i think ima die alone in this room
everywhere i go i feel anxious
everyday i feel the gloom

idk what im doing
maybe i should call it quits
but i keep on coming back
why am i always running back

bridge
————
why am i always running back
why i can’t keep this under wraps
why do keep on climbing 
just to fall, i wish i was someone else

chorus
—————
i been fucked up
& i hate it
drugs don’t work
& i’m jaded
will i ever learn my lesson
i think my life’s passed expiration

seejayxo
———
we’re alone in my room
and you’re naked
 sent a text last night
i was jaded
yeah its time to figure out what this is
i dont want fall asleep thinkin that you miss, me
fucked up in my head so dont trick me
i could feel myself fallin quick
wonder to my self what this is

standin at you door
wonder if its unlocked 
do you want me anymore?
your curly headed dork
i dont feel it anymore

u could have my heart
but its rotten to the core


outro
———
why am i always running back
why i can’t keep this under wraps
why do keep on climbing 
just to fall, i wish i was someone else

follow seejayxo

the gutter w/ seejayxo [prod. ilmari404]

produced by soundcloud.com/caspr

lyrics
————-
calling ur name out
inside of my dreams
wake up in a panic
its hard to stay sleep

i know i was distant
i should’ve been better
i could’ve been better

but i was getting worse
i keep on getting worse
leave me here to rot
inside this hearse
i call my bed

where do i go now
so lost & alone how
did i let this happen to me again(x2)

i been searching for something
but idk what that is
i feel sick

 collapsed in the hallway
i know ur tired of my ways
& i tried to change but
li’ll always be the same

sometimes i wonder
thru the rain & the thunder
what it would be like
to sleep 6 ft under the dirt

calling ur name out
inside of my dreams
wake up in a panic
its hard to stay sleep

produced by caspr

panic! [prod. caspr]

cover art by @imtarnished

—————————
lyrics
—————————

tell me are the lows
really worth this high

coming down again
& i swore that it’d be the last time
yet here i am again
hoping this is the last time

ion wanna fight this
i been steady suffering (s/o @steadysuffer)
reminiscing on my life
without u

i wish i could i hate u
but i feel i need u
tell me are the lows
really worth this high

was it worth my time
to live in this place
with my face
in disguise

was it worth the lies
the things that i’ve done
i regret & despise

wake up
ion wanna wake up
erry days the same shit
fight & then we make up

break up
i think we should break up
u won’t let me go tho
so inside i break ugh 
fuck

i cant let this go

come down [prod. loopy]

acoustic by: https://soundcloud.com/sinxi
mix & master by: https://soundcloud.com/frvrndalwys

lyrics
—————————
tired of the same old sad songs
try to change but it don’t last long
somethings gotta give
i can’t go on like this
maybe one day
ill figure out this shit

ill figure out this shit

can we start over?
can we run it back
can we reset time
can we try again
staring out my window
thoughts run thru my head
i still think about
all the time we spent

yea i swear that
i’d take u back
in a heartbeat
if u ask me

why can’t i escape the things that hold me back
all these panic attacks
lock myself in my room
like i always do
i been thinkin of u
do u think of me too

acoustic by: sinxi

can we start over? (acoustic)

fell for u
but hit the pavement
<3

----------------------------------

lyrics
________

tell me why u so sad
i could tell u why im sad too
all i wanted was a call back
got me feeling really dark blue
tell me why u so sad
i could tell u why im sad too
i just wanna go back
way back when i had u

wasted time
ill never get back
how i feel
you’ll never get that
i fell for u
but hit the pavement
adversity
i will face it

its scary to look in the mirror
& not recognize yourself
i guess its safe 2 say
i’ve created my own hell

one more pill
one more line
one more thrill
one last time
one more cut
swear i tried
my last goodbye
please don’t cry
you will be fine

& i tried my hardest
2 pick up the pieces
of glass that broke thru
my calloused hand

why u so sad? [prod. Diamoon]

produced by F4iRY

OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3sg1aqLsJU

---------------------------------------


gfx by @imtarnished

lyrics

————————


i been takin too many benzos
& i been drinkin way way too much
will all these drugs be my downfall
will i die feeling numb

i cannot take it
feel like im racing to my death
this aint no fake shit
this is my life & its such a mess
filled w/ dread & the constant stress
it eats me alive
i lay in my bed i cant help by cry
is it all in my head, i think its my time
& i gotta let go

i tried to figure it out
by nightfall, im bleeding out
on the floor
close the door
what more could u want
no i dont wanna talk anymore

pushing away everything that i love
if i keep this up
i’ll be gone forever
please stay away from me
i’ve had enough
i’m too far gone
& i’ll be lost forever

my life is a dark abyss 
i just want out of it
my mind keeps wandering 

i became everything i hated
what a shame
i cnt take it

produced by F4iRY

i've become everything i hate [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION/BIO]

a cover of Emily by FFTL
hope u enjoy:)

acoustic by Nick Bilic

lyrics
-----------------

Smiles and her laughter
It's the only thing
That I've been waiting for a time
Regardless of our distance and our hope
Grows greater
Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time
The only thing that I've been waiting for.
I hope it's something worth the waiting
Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real
Thunder storms could never stop me
Cause there's no one in the world like Emily
She's simple yet confusing
Her sparkling eyes make me weak at my words, they tremble
Days seem like years in this month of December
The winter coldens me for I have yet to sleep
And never will I give up trying
Because you're everything to me
I hope it's something worth the waiting
It's the only time that I ever feel real
Thunder storms could never stop me
Cause there's no one in the world like Emily.

Emily - FFTL

emily

lyrics
——————————


*evol*

i gave u my all
& u gave me ur least
i won’t miss u at all
get ur shit & just leave

i knew forever was a lie
the way you'd look me in my eyes
i knew that something was up
with u
& i tried i really did
u took me for granted & i felt like shit
now i never wanna see ur face
fuck u
woah ohhh o-ohhh
a smile on my face when i see u fall
ohhhh ohhh o-ohhhh
& ima hit decline everytime u call

*trechor boy*

yea imma hit u up from a payphone
just to say i hate u
make u sobbin on the way home
what a bitch 
took my shit 
then she dipped
runnin circles round my grave 
now she fuckin with my head
i never really cared about you at all
always getting pissed about shit so small
when youre POV is fucked you aint seeing me clearly
somethings wrong with your instincts 

i need you
to step down
from your pedestal
you think so highly of yourself
its incredible 
take a step back 
i had a flashback
of when you used to be around

*evol*

& now i’m stuck inside my bed
i cant believe u left me for dead

get ur shit & leave w/ trechor boy [prod. wellfed]

lyrics
----------——

i go home n close the door
somethin takes over me
this aching feeling of dread & uncertainty
death been on my mind 
for what feels like eternity
i feel like hurting me

& i don’t deserve to be here
i just wanna take my life & go away
lemme jus make one thing clear
don’t cry when i’m gone
i’m alive thru my songs

i still remember
the last time that we spoke
now when i see you
on nothing,  i just choke
..the silence, it always
seems way too loud
i need a distraction
another relapse swear that i hate myself

i still remember
the last time that we spoke
now when i see you
on nothing,  i just choke

don't cry when i'm gone (i'm alive thru my songs) [prod. metlast]

lyrics
—————————
i break down, my knees hit the floor
i cant feel a thing anymore
i hate ur guts & u hate my drug use
fuckin wit my head, u hate me
i love u

more
(i love u)
u hate me i love u more
(i love u)
i wake up & ache, i'm sore
(i'm sore)
u hate me i love u more
(i love u)
i love u more
i love u

OH MY GOD 
i cant, figure it out again
what a suprise
first, u want me stay then u tell me to go
make up ur mind

and i know im a
loser
never thought i’d lose her
i been so confused, ur
always bringin me down
stop bringin me down

ur always bringin me down
so im getting high
& no ur lies won’t work this time

i was
a fool for ur act
-
i was 
a fool for ur ways
for ur ways

i love u

follow Luciid

loser pt. 2 [prod. Luciid]

lyrics
-----------------

all that shit that u said
(i let it get to my head)x3

picked myself up
off the floor all over agian
im sick of
waking up with this feelin’ of dread

over & over & over again i
x2

lose myself
abuse myself

over & over again
i stay in my room & push away all my friends
i hate myself
these drugs don’t help
i cant rest
this stress
it eats me alive
it gets hard, to feel whats deep inside
& i’m so numb these days
its alright
its alright its okay
i’ll be fine i guess
drowning in my bed

im so stuck in this grave i’ve dug
will i make it out 
i dont know

(over & over & over again) x2
i’m breaking out
of this worthless town


all that shit that u said
(i let it get to my head)x3

over & over again [prod. klimlords]

lyrics
—————
i look outside, watch the leaves fall down
will i crash & burn or will i leave this town
& why u do care so much
& why don’t i give a fuck
i guess
i’m cynical at best 

will i crash & burn or will i leave this town
..will i leave this town

ion wanna be like this
ion wanna feel like this either
all the scars that are on my wrist
each time just a lil bit deeper

& i’m faded
i’m jaded
ion think that i can take this
i dont really know where to go from here
but i know soon that i’ll dissspear

i guess
i'm cynical at best

& i really feel i’m runnin' outta time
prolly cus i’m always wasting mine
& know i'm runnin' outta time
prolly cus i'm wasting mine

cynical at best [prod. Luciid & Ninewater]

inside my head is like a car crash :/

lyrics
-----------------
i just crashed the car & dipped 
x4

its hard to think
there was a time in my life
that u used to lay in my bed
its weird to think that
now ur a stranger
& ill prolly never see u again

sometimes i wish tht we could talk again
but its all fucked up, we both know it 
i’m a selfish mess
& im a fucking wreck
i just wish tht we could make amends
lately i’ve been sleeping w the lights on
i been doin drugs to rid my feels i gotta stay numb
this aint fun

inside my head is like a car crash 
x2
& i’ve been moving like way too fast
(way 2 fast, like way 2 fast)

[inside my head is like a car crash 
(i just crashed the car & dipped) x4]

inside my head is like a car crash [prod. nate2timez]

i've become everything i hate (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3sg1aqLsJU

------------

inquiries @ itzcjcarter@gmail.com

https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes

https://soundcloud.com/burnoutarchive


management: https://soundcloud.com/edward-d-simms

🖤💕

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