She fucking destroyed me. back here after 5 years of hearing feels like im myself for a little bit again

слов не понял, но понял 🌌

2024 and I'm still softly whispering these lyrics to myself

Bipolar Paradise Pt. I

I think i lost my mind a while ago
cos ive been seeing some ghosts
and id be lying if i told you im fine
but i lie
yeah, these thoughts i would never speak out loud
Ive seen you cry but ive never seen you shout
like a hurricane, these shots dont ricochet
sight blurred im walkin dazed, girl im fucking faded
or maybe wasted, i cant remember how it happened
oh i dont know my limits at all
im sinking down into my thoughts
oh my god

but so what if i drank too much
this aint love, its just a firefight
and even if its not enough
ill say it once i swear i never lied
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
youll ever bring me down
girl you know im drownin
and i keep goin down
but ill swear that im not , im not, im not 

its friendly fire and sunlight 
the aftermath of one too many
words i said, when i should of said nothing at all
at all
i gotta stop overthinking
and missing
what could have been
you were never even really here
and still were are spinning
just liars and cheaters
right back where we started
but it dont get easier 
i am drowning
in liquor and apathy
will be the death of me

but so what if i drank too much
this aint love, its just a firefight
and even if its not enough
ill say it once i swear i never lied
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
but this is the last time
youll ever bring me down

The Eden Project - drowning.

End Credits

Nocturne

Gravity

Free Download


cigarette ash like wildfire
burning holes in the nighttime
open scars cut like barbed wire
white lies flying high like a ceasefire
dropping flags on the shoreline
this is as far as i can feel right
cos what you dont know
can haunt you

and all we ever wanted
was sunlight and honesty
highlights to want to repeat
lets get away from here and
live like the movies do
i wont mind when its over
at least i didnt think for a while

so lets run
make a great escape
and ill be waiting outside for the getaway
it doesnt matter who we are
well keep running through the dark
and all well ever need is another day
we can slow down cos tomorrow is a mile away
and live like shooting stars
cos happy endings hardest to fake

sunsets on power lines
making a break for the otherside
heading out to where that sunshine
45 millimeter rolling like we lost time
polaroids and outcast
rather burnout young than grow up fast
and we could be forever futurebound
cos all i need is time and now and i could leave this past behind me
and maybe ill see a way for me to stay
when theres so much out there
so ill live forgetting for the time being
[and all we ever wanted]
[was sunlight and honesty]
[highlights to want to repeat]
[lets get away from here and]
[live like the movies do]
and i wont mind when its over
at least i didnt think for a while
so lets run
make a great escapeand ill be waiting outside for the getaway
it doesnt matter who we are
well keep running through the dark
and all well ever need is another day
we can slow down cos tomorrow is a mile away
and live like shooting stars
cos everything was never the same

and i want to let you know
i want to let you go
but i just cant bring myself to speak
but this is how it goes
the end credits the roll
this bridge was built over kerosine
but we can watch it
[burn down]
[we can watch it burn down]

and all i ever wanted
was sunlight and honesty
highlights to want to repeat
lets get away from here and
live like the movies do
i wont mind when its over
at least i didnt think

so lets run
make a great escape
and ill be waiting outside for the getaway
it doesnt matter who we are
well keep running through the dark
and all well ever need is another day
we can slow down cos tomorrow is a mile away
and live like shooting stars
cos you can wish away forever but youll never find a thing like today﻿

End Credits (Feat. Leah Kelly)

Interlude

cos weve been driving so long
I cant remember how we got here
or how we survived
so long out trying to run from our pride
till you set fire to my atmosphere
and i remember how i spent the 23rd
feeling six feet under when im 30,000ft in the air
chasing that sun down
so far east im west bound
feeling like the edge of the world is near

but youll feel better when you wake up
swear to god ill make up
everything and more when i get back someday
this is more than just a phase love
shooting stars all break up
and even though it seems like half the world away
things will be better in america
heard the streets are gold there
maybe i can fly you out this place someday
chasing dreams like im on novocaine
screaming through your airwaves
looking back i almost thought i heard you say

stay youre not gonna leave me
this place is right where you need to be
and why your words gotta mean so much to them
and they mean nothing to me
so stay youre not what youre hearing
cos ive been watching you changing
and who said youre one in a million anyway?

cos you see only what you want to
your tunnel vision owns your
and you cant see whats wrong
when you keep sleeping through the p.m
eyes wide open when youre dreaming
youre sleepwalking
just keep talking
maybe you can talk your way out of this deep end
no b plan in your system
just tell me what your thinking
im scared that you might fall
but youre not
but youre not

and youll feel better when you wake up
taking off your make up
sun always seems to wash our fears away
and its always shining somewhere
i just gotta get there
and even though it seems like half the world away
things are better in america
heard the streets are gold there
maybe i can fly you out this place some day
chasing dreams like im on novocaine
screaming through your airwaves
looking back i almost thought i heard you say

stay your not gonna leave me
this place is right where you need to be
and why your words gotta mean so much to them
when they mean nothing to me
so stay youre not what youre hearing
cos ive been watching you changing
and who said youre one in a million?

youre so much better than that

stay youre not what youre hearing
cos ive been watching you changing
and who said youre one in a million
anyway?

and youll feel better when you wake up
swear to god ill make up everything and more when i get back some day
chasing dreams like im on novocaine
screaming through your airwaves looking back i almost thought i heard you say

youre so much better than that x

Wake Up

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-

and this is just another sad song
cant deny that ive been needing one
and that the world is always at fault
and we did nothing how did we do wrong
and ive been thinking that when we thought
the world would break us that we werent wrong
but its just never been the world outside
and sonder kinda has me terrified
and im so sorry i cant find the time
spend all my days over preoccupied
and ive been thinking bout how id react
if you were me and i was ghosted out
and i know i should try more
but ive been so caught in my own small shit that i cant see
past the nothing around me
but ive been trying really fucking hard not to try so hard
really fucking hard to just let go
really fucking hard not to try so hard
and realise ive nowhere left to go

/and playing it safe.

i think you think too much of me

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-

so tell me this is who you are
they tell me ive got something more
and oh you could be loved
but i dont want the lights to find me when im dark and lost
but never on my own

cos i just wanna swing like sinatra
singing like i cant stop
cos i could never rock like a rolling stone
i just wanna live like the ones before
and maybe i could play guitar like hendrix
or save the world or end it
and then maybe youll remember me when im gone
thats all i could ever want
thats all i want

so i got ten minutes to be all or nothing to
whoever wants to hear
and i got ten weeks of talking bullshit on repeat till im burnt out and disappear
but i owe you nothing
and i own my luck
oh they said youll never be alone again
but i dont think you understand me or what i fear
but you could be loved
but i dont want to lie to tell myself
im more than all the mistakes ive out run

cos im only here for a minute
and i dont care what you say cos i know
youre only here cos im winning
but i can be my own kind of rock and roll like
i dont really care if you say you dont fuck with me
and i can say what the fuck i want cos its down to me
and i got love for you even if you are doubting me
like oh my god i just cant stop

cos i just wanna sing like sinatra
with ethanol my soundtrack
cos i could never rock like a rolling stone
i wonder how it feels to burn out young
cos i just wanna die before my heart fails
from heartbreak or cocktails and
then maybe youll cry once you know im gone
thats all i could ever want
oh thats all i want

cos i aint scared of living
i aint scared of living
no i aint scared of living
cos its all weve got
what are we breathing for if we aint living
and i dont want your love
i just want to feel like im still living
and if there is no god
ill know the day i die i lived through heaven
and that i gave it hell
and if it hurt oh well at least thats living

thats all i want

sex drugs and rock and roll thats all i want
whats under the words you know thats all i want
something more than superficial is all i want
sex drugs and rock and roll thats all i want

/i aint scared of living.

rock + roll

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-

and if i told you how this story ends
would you change a step you take?
and if i could relive all of my days
id live them all the same

cos im scared
of all that i dont know
cos i want it all but all of it aint gold
and im scared
but i know its not for long
cos im learning what i shouldve long before

that all we are
is a light into the darkness
and all we are
is time thats counting down
and all we are
is falling through the spaces in between
endless flight

a lifetime in repeat

but i still find solace
when you say that you know how i feel
when its wrong
and we aint been right for years

let go
give these ghosts a new home
lets bury our pasts and our fears
and all these bones
and lets go
i shouldve seen it long before

cos this is my life
i will not run in circles
ending where i start

so hold on to me
well burn out slowly
and feel our hearts leap
to words we dont mean

love

means nothing to me
cos i dont know what it is
im just dying to be
all that ive been dreaming of
and words betray me
contradict all i stand for
but im still learning
yeah im still learning

that all we are
is a light into the darkness
and oh we are
just time thats counting down
and all we are
is falling through the spaces in between
endless flight

were falling to our knees

Circles

start//end

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-

you try to kill it but it wont stop bleeding
try to forget it but it wont stop killing you
youre running out of time
yeah you know you cant go back
its too late
to say its too late
you cant take back that you said nothing
how could you do nothing

is this burning right?
am i living bridges
can we build our past right?
learning through future solecism

its played out (ive missed times)
ive moved on (been disconnected) 
get fucked up (i stressed time)
my new draw (forgetting timing)
and its not right (and i need you to talk me down)
youre dead wrong
what are we doing (cos i feel like i need to crash)
lets go home
theres no hope
its all wrong

//cos i been looking at the sky to show me where i went wrong
//been looking at the sky like someone was looking down
//but it keeps raining on me
//and i been looking at the sky since i was like 5 years old
//been looking for the the stars but it seems like theyre all gone
//and the faults not ours alone
//but i think its time to go

its played out
ive moved on
get fucked up
my new draw
and its not right
youre dead wrong
what are we doing?
lets go home
theres no hope
its all wrong

and ive got way too many questions just to try and get it right
cos i cant be the one to shrug it off
and i could be the reason that we stay up all night to be someone
be someone
and oh all weve got is to try to get it right
but no one told you
that this gon hurt
oh no
and now all i really want is to scream

that shit just to try and find a way get my head down
and head out or maybe just the two of us
and head now 
im just trying to find the real now
dream clouds, ghost ground
real friends, dead home town

cos i been looking at the sky to show me where i went wrong
been looking at the sky like someone was looking down
but it keeps raining on me
when i been looking at the sky since i was like 5 years old
been looking for the the stars but it seems like theyre all gone
and it breaks my heart you know
but i think its time to go

//and its not right
//youre dead wrong
//what are we doing
//lets go home
//theres no hope
//its all wrong

music video

start//end

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gold
8 of 13

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-

free fall for now
desert air wont drown you out
and for a second i thought the world was ending 
and i couldnt breathe in
and so this isnt your time
been chasing kairos with those scapegoat eyes
cant you realise
fuck the summertime its you
so scared of overgrowing youth
when its not done with you

and everybody gon run
everybody gon run
and you can call it what you want
but i call it moving on
and im so done
with singing words i dont believe in no more

so what you rushing for
who said its now or never?
i think youre taking on the wrong advice
but its alright if these are your worst times
you know youre good
youre good

and if you want you can breathe on your own
this isnt what i thought but its beautiful
make peace with your mistakes and theyll turn to gold
weightless i let go

and everybody gon run
everybody gon run
and you can call it what you want
but i call it moving on
and im so done
with singing words i dont believe in no more

call it what you want but i call it growing up
and im done

Gravity

EDEN

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SincerelyAnthony

benni

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