AmbientStrange

helena hauff - process part 254 (birds and other instruments no 1)

Lyrics with translation into German:

I don´t need psychiatry   / Ich brauche keine Psychatrie
to enlighten me               / um mich zu erhellen
with medical terminology  / mit medizinischer Terminologie
like G.I.D. and transsexuality / wie G.I.D und Transsexualität
Doc...please...         / Doktor.....bitte
Skip the legalities    / Überspringe die Legalitäten
and give me the goddamn hormones / und gib mir die verdammten Hormone

And if you want to psychiatrize something...  / und falls du etwas psychatrisieren willst...
Psychiatrize this / psychatrisiere das
Psychiatrize my fist / psychatrisiere meine Faust
Going to raise it in the air / werde sie in die Luft heben
cuz I´m getting really pissed / weil ich richtig sauer werde
with this imposed list / auf diese aufgezwungene Liste
of how we ought to exist / über wie wir zu existiren haben
If we want to look cis / wenn wir cis aussehen wollen
Better watch who we kiss / besser Acht geben, wen wir küssen
Drop the faggy limp wrist / die tuntigen Handbewegungen lassen
Strive to stand up and piss / uns bemühen beim Pissen aufzustehen
If we want to look cis / wenn wir cis aussehen wollen
Ya but is this my wish? / Ja, aber ist das mein Wunsch?

Hell no / verdammt nein
i don´t want to fit in your codes of behaviour / ich will nicht in eure Verhaltensrichtlinien passen
so stop trying to be my gender saviour / also hört auf zu versuchen mein Geschlechtsretter zu sein
and do us all a favour... / und tut uns allen ein Gefallen

Pathologize this / pathologisiert das
Pathologize my fist / pathologisiert meine Faust
Going to raise it in the air / werde sie in die Luft heben
cuz I´m getting really pissed / weil ich richtig sauer werde
when I hear about cops / wenn ich von Bullen höre
patronizing my transgendered sisters / die meine Transschwestern bevormunden
asking why you wearing women´s clothes? / fragen, warum trägst du Frauenklamotten?
Why you trans, mister? / warum sind Sie trans, mein Herr?
Doesn´t fit your prototype of a woman? / das passt nicht zu eurem Prototyp von einer Frau?
Well, why are you wearing a bullet proof vest and a firearm / nun gut, warum tragt ihr eine kugelsichere Weste und eine Waffe
If you´re not going to protect my sisters from harm? / wenn ihr nicht meine Schwestern vor Unheil beschützt?
Who made you the authority on feminine charm? / wer hat euch zur Autorität über femininen Charm gemacht?
They didn´t ask you for fashion advice / sie haben euch nicht nach modischem Rat gefragt
They asked to report a hate crime / sie haben gebeten ein Hassverbrechen zu melden
And spent five hours of their personal time / und haben fünf Stunden ihrer persönlichen Zeit damit verbracht
educating your transphobic police force / eure transphobe Polizeikraft zu belehren
while you pathologized their experience / während ihr ihre Erfahrungen pathologisiert

And you know what? / und wisst ihr was?
You cops can join the docs / ihr Bullen könnt euch den Ärzten anschließen

And pathologize this / und pathologisiert das
Pathologize my fist / pathologisiert meine Faust
Going to raise it in the air / werde sie in die Luft heben
Cuz I´m getting really pissed / weil ich wirklich wütend werde
At the cops and the docs / auf die Bullen und die Ärzte
And the whole damn system / und das ganze verdammte System
Controlling trans bodies / das Trans*körper kontrolliert
with laws made by cis men / mit von cis-Männern gemachten Gesetzen
I may not have balls, / ich hab vielleicht keinen Schwanz
But if I did you could lick them / aber hätte ich einen, könntet ihr ihn lutschen

Pathologize this / pathologisiert das


Pathologize This!

We've reached 200 shows!! This week I've created this special studio mix from the upcoming A sides Vol 2 compilation. Also, listen out for the exciting announcement about how we are celebrating reaching 200 shows and 4 years on air.

Thank you for all your support so far and keep listening :)

01. Gery Otis - Jazing - Drumcode
02. dubspeeka - Bedlam - Drumcode
03. Kimono - Rave Flavour - Drumcode
04. Dustin Zahn - The Unfailing Light - Drumcode
05. Bart Skils - Acid Horizon - Drumcode
06. Jel Ford - Grand Union - Drumcode
07. Sian - Chicken Donut - Drumcode
08. Joel Mull - Gallop - Drumcode
09. Adam Beyer - People Understand - Drumcode
10. Cari Lekebusch - Fire Alarm - Drumcode
11. Skober - Membrane - Drumcode
12. Adam Beyer - Open Up - Drumcode
13. Gary Beck - Marrow - Drumcode
14. Dykkon - Repulse - Drumcode

DCR200 - Drumcode Radio Live - Adam Beyer A-sides studio mix

Lyrics:

I went into the darkroom
With a hot gay friend of mine
He said welcome to the darkroom darling
I'll show you a good time
He said take a look around friend
Tell me what you see
Take a walk around the block
And get yourself a piece of cock
I said this aint no pussy palace
And I don't know the code
From lesbian to gay trans man
I can't navigate this road
So take me by the hand boy
Tell me what to do
I don't understand boy
That's why I came with you

Into this dark dark darkroom
With my dark trans secret 
And it's my choice to keep it
My choice to keep it
Packing and a binding 
so that nobody knows
What's under these clothes
Close your eyes
And enjoy my size

I sat down on a bench to  wait
He didn't even hesitate
Lips of lust and eyes of sin
The handsome stranger walked right in
He put his hand upon my thigh
Rubs my packer while I moan and sigh
He reaches to unzip my pants
So I turn him over and I pin his hands
I rub him and I suck him
Turn him over, Finger fuck him
Pull his hair and spank him
Kiss him softly while I wank him
I'm not coming out today
Not like this, not his way
Said keep your hands to yourself and do what I say
And then I sent that stranger on his way

Out of the dark dark darkroom without 
My dark trans secret
It was my choice to keep it 
My choice to keep it
Packing and a binding 
So that nobody knows
What's under these clothes
Close your eyes 
And enjoy my size

We are transguys who like guys
We've got something else between our thighs
And it may come as a small surprise
But it aint no reason to run and hide 
Run and hide run and hide, run and hide

In the dark, dark darkroom
With my sexy sweet trans secret
It's my choice when to conceal it
My choice when to reveal it
Packing and a binding so as not so expose
What's under these clothes
Close your eyes
Enjoy my size

In the dark, dark, darkroom
with my dark trans secret 
It was my choice to keep it
my choice to keep it
Packing and a binding
So that nobody knows
What's under these clothes
Close your eyes
Enjoy my size...

Darkroom

Lyrics:

It's a rush, rush, rush
It's a flow, flow, flow
From the outing to the doctor to the hormones: go
All the other trans guys standing in a row
And they go go go
Like traffic flow
But I'm so slow
Like a turtle in the road
And I can't go 
cuz I don't know
My next move...and that's  okay
Three years of doubt till I could say I was trans
Was I a faker, a poser, was I really a man?
All the other trans guys seem to know who they are
But I'm so far
In a wheel-less car
With an aching heart
And a breaking heart
Off to a shaking, quaking start
Wanna move this car 
But it feels so far
And I don't know
Where the answers are....where the answers are x2
They're all moving forward 
With injections of T
And mastektomy
Hysterectomy
It's infecting me
Are they inspecting me?
Cuz I'm not sure that's who I want to be
But all that matters is that I'm true to me, true to me

Decision, transition is breaking my heart
And I'm fallling apart
Decision, transition is breaking my heart
And I'm fall-ling apart

So I finally started T at the age 29
I was way behind of Alex and Brian
Both one year on T and doing just fine
And was it such a crime
To take T just one time
I could take it and leave it
I could change my mind
So I closed my eyes 
And embraced the skies
And I jumped..into the unknown
Trans boys gonna make you jump jump jump jump
Trans tigers gonna make you jump through hoops of flame
Gonna make you jump to change your name
Gonna make you say that you're insane
Gonna say there's something wrong inside your brain
But they're the ones who are insane 
There's nothing wrong inside your brain
It's just hard to see the sun through all that rain

Decision, transition is breaking my heart
And I'm fallling apart
Decision, transition is breaking my heart
And I'm fall-ling apart

So I moved across the water
Where I wasn't someone's daughter
But I didn't have a doctor
Got my T from over yonder
And I wonder...am I strong enough for this?
Then came the paper mess
No you're not one of us
Go do your name change back home
So I flew home and phoned
But they said sorry you roamed
This country isn't your home
So I bitched and I moaned
At officals on phones
Then I went to Herr Lomb
And said give me a bone
And I barked...woof
Now this mastectomy
It's been killing me
Been thinking about it
Since long before T
But these things on my chest
Are still a part of me
Cuz it's my body
My sensitivity
And I don't take this decision lightly
And just cuz I'm trans don't expect this of me
I am not in a rush to escape my body
And I wanna transition real slowly
Like a turtle in the road
Slow....I wanna go slow

Decision, transition you won't break my heart
I'm not falling apart
Decision, transition you won't break my heart
I will never fall apart



Transition Song

My Little Side Show

Lyrics: 

I said from lesbian to gay trans man
Wait that's not exactly what i meant
I'd change the words in the message but it's already sent
So please don't stop hitting on me hot high femmes

You see I'm gay in the way that I'm all  faggy and shit
And ya I'm gay in the way that I like to suck dick
But that don't make me a masculinity addict
Nah I'd rather be sucking off a hot femme dick

Men, women, trans, cis, it doesn't matter to me
I like all kinds of femmes in my company
So if you're looking for some queer femme community
This  effeminate boy will always make you feel seen

For all you bruised femme boys, kicked down in the streets
There's  a mama in me to attend to your needs
And all  you feminist femmes  oppressed by hoodies  and tools
Kick your heels in the air cuz all  those haters are fools

These heels were made for walking and running up that hill
Red lipstick while I'm talking and outfit made to kill
Now feminine is power
She drives the princess train
Runs over sexist cowards
Who think that femme is vain

Here's to all  the femmes who are hot shot tops
And to the femme bottoms who like to get fucked
Some say at least it's subversive when a femme is on top
But I say fuck those ideals...Reclaim  whatever you want

We can reclaim  making babies  or washing  the dishes
We can call ourselves  sluts, we can call ourselves  bitches
Don't tell  us how to be queer cuz this booty's femme-a-licous
And no one asked you anyway cuz it's none of your business

Here's to trans women and to all those who rose
To the unpopular  gender that society loathes
And here's  to the sex workers who fight to be seen
In the eye of the public  and  within the queer scene

Queer femmes of color..here's to your struggle
Against racism and sexism: Double haters to juggle
And it's not even safe in the so-called queer bubble
Cuz for queer femmes of color, even the bubble has its trouble

These heels were made for walking and running up that hill
Red lipstick while I'm talking and outfit made to kill
Now feminine is power
She drives the princess train
Runs over sexist cowards
Who think that femme is vain

Femme - Lovin' Fag

"This mix, following on from Instantium Hardphace last year, is the second of a series of what I call 'horizontal slices.' The idea is that there are several long running 'themes' in my work -in other words, groups of pieces across time that partake of some kind of stylistic commonality. So whilst any given group will draw from nearly twenty years of releases, it will have an aesthetic unity that individual albums have often shunned. Of course, it's up to the listener to make sense (or otherwise) of what that aesthetic may be!" - Tom Jenkinson, March 2013

"Rotate Electrolyte" / Hello Everything (2006)
"Planetarium" / Hello Everything (2006)
"Ultravisitor" / Ultravisitor (2004)
"Welcome To Europe" / Hello Everything (2006)
"I Wish You Could Talk" / Go Plastic (2001)
"PSultan (Squarepusher remix)" / Chaos A.D. (1998)
"Port Rhombus" / Port Rhombus e.p. (1996)
"Tetra-Sync" / Ultravisitor (2004)
"Tommib" / Go Plastic (2001)
"Theme From Ernest Borgnine" / Feed Me Weird Things (1996)

Squarepusher - Ufabulum & Enstrobia EP out now on Warp Records
Ufabulum Live - March 30th, Roundhouse, London

http://www.squarepusher.net
http://www.warp.net

My Little Side Show

My little sideshow

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