lyrics/art by stagmont, music by buttercup. constellation of doubt 2018

“I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.” - Søren Kierkegaard

i don't regret the things i've done
guilt should eat me up, i am remorse
i am engulfed by bad choices
dropping nukes of acute akrasia
in this house there'll be no fun
a car bomb's in the hearse
i cant tell who the voice is
exploding thoughts of aphasia
lycanthropic anxiety
i turn into someone else entirely
im the hyena, pouncing on nothing
turns the innocent into something
bad feelings all around, i cant come down
i can only sleep it away
but it starts again the next day
this will never go away, its here to stay
i regret all the things that i've done
guilt eats me up, yet i have no remorse

a different evening

lyrics/art by stagmont. music by buttercup

“How does one kill fear, I wonder? How do you shoot a spectre through the heart, slash off its spectral head, take it by its spectral throat?” 
- Joseph Conrad

proteins denaturing in all of my muscles
diplopia's seeping thru, always seeing doubles
lifeblood's stopped, minor tachycardia
breathing thru tubes with my insane apnea
im grasping at straws, im dancing with dogs
the worst time to realize that things always matter
is when i ask questions that no one can answer
dual filters are failing, i want no dialysis
helpless and hopeless like a newborn nihilist
God has his reasons there'll be no accidents
halothane's giving me infinite paralysis
im the center of attention, im making a scene
my substance thirst is always ravenous
help me out of the hole when there's no more ketamine
dreaming about nothing, empty nights like always
my mind stopped working so long ago and there is no escape,
fear pulsating thru my body in solitude
one day i'll be comfortable naked
remember when we'd taste the honeysuckles?
now i'm vomiting blood over white knuckles

bleached cherries

our album constellation of doubt is out now at https://igitur.bandcamp.com/album/constellation-of-doubt :) includes a pdf with a collage and song explanation for each track

i can't keep on choking down anxiolytics 
weighing out micrograms on a silver scale 
this decade is an absolute blur 
stability is a chimera 
something bad will happen 

obsessed with useless things 
philosophy in the boudoir 
terrified obscure theories are a secret grimoire 
i pretend i'm a genius critic but i'm parasitic 
on the knowledge of others smarter 
i'm a fraud 

radiating semblances 
there is nothing real about this 
people pretend to understand even though they know they cant 
there was one, but they're gone 
there was one, but they're no one 

incoherent noise 
silence punctuated 
i need to say something unrelated 
i'm living on a vacillating precipice with capricious vicissitudes 
irritating vagaries 
expressing my love with tense disquietude 

we are all held hostage by what we are thinking 
the dog eats the lion without even blinking 
my thoughts cant be stopped because that implies motion 
obsessively stuck on the same exact notion 
i say this and that without any action 
lobotomize me and remove all my emotion 
i want an absence to consume me, embrace me as its own 
no more all-consuming fear of being alone 
i do what i do out of pure desperation 
anxiety will usurp me and take on the throne 
of being the king of unyielding stagnation 

but my problems don't mean anything to me 
i know one day that i'll have my relief 
that i will be free 
i just need you to listen to me

i have nothing to say (from constellation of doubt out now)

from our album "constellation of doubt" https://igitur.bandcamp.com/album/constellation-of-doubt

i don't think i'll see you at the gallows 
i don't think i'll see you at all 

i will be your witness, i will be your priest 
i will be your lawyer, i will be unleashed 
for you i will be unleashed 

i'm tied down, resigned to my fate 
i'm not waking up, God'll just have to wait 
i'm carrying the weight, i'm shouldering my enemy's ammo 
ak-47s and books, the thousand yard stare is my ideal look 
i'm ensnared in a web of doubt, as i look to my left 
i see a small dog yawn, don't find it cute, i find it bereft of humanity 

i will be your confessor, i will be your boss 
i will be your father, i will be a loss 
for you i will be a loss 
so give me away like a litter of six you can't take care of 

i'll never be the one you need, i'll always come up short 
you can shout a retort but i won't listen as i'm skinning one of the six 
you try and stop me but i am who i am and for you 

i will be your nightmare, i will be your anguish 
i'll be your misery, i'll let you languish 
for you, for you i'll let you languish

see you at the gallows

potential demo for 2nd album

ants in the coffee
sugar turns to gold ad nauseaum
no empty spaces
i will turn water into sunlight
the glass shatters from the heat, shards suspended in animation in the air
the tyrant of syracuse eats breakfast with the curtains drawn
legs spread with butter on his bread
Cicero counted the stars in the sky each night, constellations of the mind
Kant got a papercut, sucked his finger and liked the taste - told no one
headless vizier signals to me that the volcano is no longer dormant
black storms, i know when fear looks at me
nerve gas canisters in my attic
Yeats once told me he had no sympathy for the Royal Trident
Anxiety takes over
Willibeok
isthatdangerous
whatwillidoif
icannotdothistask
ohmygodsomethingshappened
The medicine dissolves in my brain
I will shut you out if you let me in
Photographs of clouds, photographs of 
the floors in my house are warped, they creak, dont pay attention to them they like it
where will i sleep if my bed is another room
Tribunal decides to cut my throat
I watch them do it 
left to right
nothing at first but then you see the red slit appear and grow and viscera pour out
i tilt my head back until its on its hinges 
i turn it sideways and i start barking like a dog
my head is hanging on by a thread but im howling 
you can take me alive or you can kill me
it makes no difference to me
pollution fills the chamber in which they tried to execute me
I snap my head back in place and my neck slit heals instantly
Earthquake rumblings, the tribunal confused
look out the window, a volcano rises from the highest hill 
lava spewing everywhere, no one can believe it
A member lunged at me with a knife, I dodged it with ease
Halberd attempt at my throat, i felt but a breeze
I tore off my arm with no effort
I aimed it at the members and all of their heads severed
I run out of the chamber and the lava's flowing everywhere
This entire village will be red by night
i will turn water into lava with my glorious might

ants in the coffee (extremely ruff demo)

peppermint cyanide tea dug up in the leaves
pawing at the dirt with a head full of bees
i choke up water, i choke up disease, i choke up gifts like these
daisies gushing out of my wounds
druids of the fog rip out the veins of the arterial wisterias
fried in the rain flowers growing in my lungs
a hazardous bishop warns of a traffic accident
helicopter dogs burst the stained glass windows
poison my soul with your rhetoric, black sun isolation
decorate my hands with aureate machinery
androgynous cancer serenades itself in the moonlight with arrogance
whisking cats in a bowl of stupidity
malevolent semidivinities shook the ground beneath us
poisoned our lava with the blood of a lamb
the wolf of ash clamps down on air
burning ribbons in my hair
the mortician adds up the daily count
my wooden box is clear of the fright
portraits sky up the night like a nebulous light
i was showering the sphinx with rotten stars

lyrics: stagmont/buttercup
music/vocals: buttercup
arrangement: buttercup/stagmont
photo: stagmont

nature but ashes in your mouth

from "destroying the face it kissed" coming soon !

swallowing grenades for matadors
red cloaks hiding open doors
remissive cancer say goodbye
junk food christmas alibi
shadow piano melodies
seed planting entelechy

you could be the limit that surrounds me
you can be my infinite boundary

paint the hedges blue
porcupines retreating
nothing like me and you
i'm infinitely needing

pour me a cup of something strong
tell me about the panther in the corner
i think i've got it all wrong
on the end of the ledge is my disorder

you could be the limit that surrounds me
you can be my infinite boundary
but instead you're nothing
colonies of empty ants

but instead you're nothing

my border (ruff mix)

from "destroying the face it kissed" coming soon !

stand still so i can take your picture 
quit exaggerating your emotion 
please smile erase your depression 

i collect all the memories i've ever had 
so that they're never forgotten 
i look at them when i get sad 
the images in my glass coffin 

vacation time, special memories 
by the beach, everything's new to me 
a dolphin zoo and elephants too 
i need this inscribed in virtual reality 

i collect all the memories i've ever had 
so that they're never forgotten 
i look at them when i get sad 
the images in my glass coffin 

you know i can't forget our first date 
a special kiss that i'll never forget 
back at my place even though we just met 
solitude in drone eyes, a frenzied state 

i collect all the memories i've ever had 
so that they're never forgotten 
i look at them when i get sad 
the images in my glass coffin 

but what if my memories fade away? 
like they do with old age? 
i'll always have these images but 
with no experiences to hang upon 
they might as well be photos by Avedon 
Death will claim me if dementia doesn't first 
what's the use of all these memories? 
mundane documentaries 
I don't really care about my first kiss 
I don't really care about my vacation pics 
I want to remember the things that matter to me 
but I'm deleting every picture in my directory 

I've thrown away all the memories I've ever had 
I never want to remember the good or the bad 
I throw myself off and know that I'm dropping 
I am the image in a glass coffin

lyrics by stagmont 
music by buttercup

https://igitur.bandcamp.com/track/ephemera

ephemera

from our new album "body dreams" !
igitur.bandcamp.com/album/body-dreams

swallow mercury poured into glass
venus spun off its axis
the games we play are nothing but the same gray brains
bitter taste on my tongue, passed out smelling salts

i play to win, i play for keeps
i deglove your skin, i breathe on your cheeks

i dont know how much of this will hurt you
stay calm, breathe, no anxiety
attack lights flicker and bookcases fall over
manhole covers open and valves twist and turn
ice is in my eyes, you will never learn

so i reach into the vault of your memories
your skull was always so cushy and full of me
i look at the time we kissed each other, ferris wheel
just an implant, that never happened, that was never real

chewing bubble gum but i cant get the bubble up
throwing cola away in trashcans in styrofoam cups
gum underneath the bin, red, green, and blue
the last thing i ever think will not be of you

death-pangs (from "body dreams", out now !)

https://igitur.bandcamp.com/album/my-prediction-is-common
from our album "tuxarumba" coming soon !

we melt metal over a spoon
ingots of lead that'll melt soon
then pour the meltage into water
it forms a shape, shape spotter

what the lead forms, it takes a sleuth
inhale the fumes, hallucinate the truth

this isnt anything fancy
the lost art of molybdomancy
aristocratic? no not fancy
peasant art of molybdomancy

it's time to divine
a piece of what's mine
when the stars all align
read the room, read the signs

we all know what's coming
white chickens, roosters, bees buzzing,
the flights of birds, random book readings,
reading a sacrifice still bleeding,

what's next? haruspex, haruspex
dice that abolished chance
an astragalomance
we dance the future dance

this isnt anything fancy
the lost art of molybdomancy

it's time to divine
a piece of what's mine
when the stars all align
read the room, read the signs

we all want to be prophets of a future divined
but nothing ever stops it with the devil we signed

my prediction is common

igitur

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