Midwest emo

Pale Beneath The Tan (Squeeze)

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

produced by jpjp
vocals + lyrics by heylog & i'm geist

lyrics:
your caught around my throat
i don't think you wanna know what i know
you remember we were close
now i don't call you a bro anymore
watch out i might contain hostility
you say u know but you don't know me
i guess i'm used to it
people that i know always abusing it

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

so long, won’t accept my defeat
i know i’m running out of time
but i can’t even breathe

lost cause, threw me into the sea
it’s not what i wanted to be
they prayed i drowned in the deep

but i’m holding on
there’s so much left inside of my head that i’m fighting for
what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars
what went wrong?
i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

through my veins, through my skin

SPOTIFY

heylog & i'm geist - through the veins, through my skin (jpjp)

prod @sorrow_bringer

 it really does kill me that i'm not able to showcase what i create/put out how i want it to be, but the piece itself matters the most to me. hopefully one day i'll be able to put together like a music video/lyric for a majority of what i put out, but for now, this is all i got. thank you so much for supporting me and music to this point. i really, really appreciate it. more than just that. this is everything to me. thank you for listening. <3

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

brass knuckles mounted on my fists
sweat n grease; let it drip
like a typhlosion, my body is molten
i will not let opportunity slip
it's all for the kid, that i had been
i fucking miss him, but i shouldn't let
adolescence turn to codependence
just how in the fuck did we grow up to this

i'm sorry if you don't like my voice
cause i don't either, i do not have a choice
i take a break for a couple days
then i come back, just to fill the void
i'm so annoyed by every noise
and a breath away from breathing poison
a leap of faith isn't what i'd take
just freefall into clairvoyance

i don't keep track of the shit i accomplish
trying my best to avoid being pompous
now the weight of the world's being pushed on the girl who had given me hope
for the things i had wanted
ain't that some bullshit
honesty lies in between the cracks
of what we deem that is evil
but we can't live without it
can't live without it

oh, it feels like i stall time
when i submerge myself in a foreign pathogen
all feels well, till i cross that path again
flicker the blood off your hands into mine
what an orthodox method of covering crime
i just wanna cry
she just wanna crash
just leave me behind
there's no going back

but, what if i fuck this up again
would you be my only friend
my mentality's kicking the bin
cause honesty lies within sin
with every thought, grows ornery tension
every night i'm a loss, and i'm building retention
stars don't cross if you don't pay attention
my tears don't drop if they're not worth a mention
you cannot feel what i feel.
she's probably not even real
i'm probably not even real
so i'm going in for the kill

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

did it ever happen..

retention [prod. sorrow bringer]

prod by stezzyxl 
guitar by michael harrison 
enjoy ^\^

lyrics:
she’s like a mystery, a puzzle i can’t solve
i try reach out but she ghostes, and withdraws
she loves to keep it to herself, silent resolve
the more that we don’t talk, the length of it evolves

she invites a side of her, a stranger i don’t know
her words and action are like poison she can’t control 
as her dark side emerges, fear begins to grow
the more I fight, the more she tightens up her hold

maybe someone else needs come and take my place
to whom i once loved to the point i’m losing faith
10 months have passed yet, you remain the same
you turned into the being, that u know i hate

oh
where have u been
no one likes me anymore (x2)

(leave me)

she makes me turn into the person that i don’t wanna be
she ripped my heart out of my chest and layed it so we can feast
her actions says it all she will not change even if she tried
but i’ll still hold on to her even if it makes me die

why would i
go ahead and ruin my life
for someone like yourself
if i didn’t even care for ur health
so tell me 
why would i
try so hard to make this work
if i didn’t even care for ur worth
but u treated me like i’m dirt 
so tell me (x2)

ive done some things that i dont like to say
i’ve been all of the the things that i say that i hate
a cheat, a lie, the smoke in the sky
i don’t want u to see, can u please close ur eyes?
but i have learned from all my mistakes
i will never go back to reside in that place
i have changed for the better and that i can say
i put that on my grave (x2)

back in time ll

Produced by navyxower
Written by Heylog & navyxower
Mix and master by Heylog & navyxower

lyrics
-------
its so challenging
you can throw me out, recycle me
I'm mortified
trying everything to keep me in line
I was neglected, but I'm feeling fine
will I be alright
i cant see through the fight!

I'm really a joke
you can see it in my eyes
a lonely little child
nobody by my side

they stay up for a while
night shift, go for a drive
ill wait until the morning to see you both in life

YOU ASK ME IF IM BORED OF YOU!
i tell you its alright
nobody ever missed me, im happy that your mine
ill stay here watch some cartoons
*do nothing with my life*
a lonely little child
just trying to get by

sing me, a lullaby to put me right to sleep
sleep by my side, and ill be happy as can be
a life that's full of trauma, guess healing aint for me
wait until the morning, ill be throwing up you see

she's upset, I know I messed up
in the bed, I slowly get up
look around, this is the last time
in ur room, it's home in my eyes
thunderstorms
travel back
stay the night 
then miss u bad
one hour
till I'm home
the last place I wanna go
seeing you like everyday to not seeing at all
how'd it go from talking every night to not one call
these changes, I don't like them, especially being alone
it'd probably be worse if I didn't learn how to grow

I'm really a joke
you can see it in my eyes
a lonely little child
nobody by my side

they stay up for a while
night shift, go for a drive
ill wait until the morning to see you both in life

sibling w/ heylog

say a prayer for me 

prod michael harrison 
master: @onlyfriendyeah

i wanna feel you as you climb underneath 
i can't move 
it's like i'm stuck to the sheets
i've been so bad
you say at last
i just wanna see you mad

oh i'm immature?
you are the reason i'm so fucked
you really speak the worst 
things to me 
shit that i didn't deserve

(if you want)
i'll take it off for you 
just tell me what to do

just wanna love you 'till it hurts
(is that bad?)
my baby put me through the worst
(is that so sad?)
so darling swing around the hearse 
oh, you know i'll let you kill me first 

black dress waiting for me
if i'm asleep
would you adore me?
if i was home 
would you hold me?
i could've swore 
that you once told me
oh,
i fucking swear i'm moving backwards now 
figure out 
what's left of me
i'm shaking 
can you hold me down 
i'm holding out
prayers up 
was the water over my head enough?
will i be saved
if i'm brave enough?
i would do it for us

(say a prayer for me)
say a prayer for me
stop and stare you see 
i'm right here on my knees
take it off for me 
hope that god don't see 
baby make me say please

prayer

hope u enjoy <3

lyrics -
i
went under for a very long time
i told myself it's all that u want
but i don't really see the lines
and i don't wanna be who u love

you could hear me over the sounds
sirens told us all to get out
there's panic all over your face
but i tried to keep u here on the ground

you can tell me what's going on
'cos lately you've been shutting off too much love
we got too comfortable
a bond so unbreakable it broke us
now i ain't fine
i tried to lie just for damage control
it broke my spine
now i'm fixated on preventable

don't go yet baby, don't go
don't go yet babe, i have to

~ i tried to keep u here

I Don't Wanna Die Anymore

prod. ukii

you say that you wanted space
but now you're texting my phone
i don't have much self respect
so i can't leave it alone
and now it's three in morning
you're out with god knows who
i'm going crazy
just tell me,
just tell me what to do
you led me on to an idea you weren't thinking through
and now i'm left here with the pieces
you've got someone new

just shut it,
shut it,
tell me,
am i your puppet?
got me right round your finger
and it seems like you love it
could you cut me, cut me
i wont bleed though, i promise
i just need you to trust me
when i say this, i'm sorry

bright eyes, now they leave me petrified
i shake, and i don't wanna be alive
haven't spoken in days
can you remember why?
my voice just trembles
every time that i would try

you say that you wanted space
but now you're texting my phone
i don't have much self respect
so i can't leave it alone
and now it's three in morning
you're out with god knows who
i'm going crazy
just tell me,
just tell me what to do
you led me on to an idea you weren't thinking through
and now i'm left here with the pieces
you've got someone new

spotify

petrified

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how (2x)

and i'm trynna get my money up
travel where the dreams come true 
when people make it it's never luck
except when it comes to you 

lately i been asking for help
sadly with no1 to come thru 
they say i just think bout myself
i'm trynna keep myself away from the box made out of wood

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how 

drugs keep me afloat
wavs keep me from ending it all
sometimes i wish u crushed my throat
so i woulnd't have to feel at all
so i wouldn't've to deal with all
the bullshit i get involved 
with everysingle day 
cause it just means a new headache 

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how (2x)

Romeo & Juliet

Modern Baseball / The Hundred Acre Woods Split

Re-Do

MOBO Presents: The Perfect Cast EP feat. Modern Baseball

The Thrash Particle

Future Teens - "In Love Or Whatever"
From their album "Hard Feelings"
Out Sept. 29th on CD/CS/Digital via Take This To Heart Records

Pre-Order: bit.ly/2i0kivr

www.takethistoheartrecords.com

Hard Feelings

Future Teens - "In Love Or Whatever"

thank you for listening 
<3
@jolst


 i just wish you were here 
holding me 
cause my thoughts hurt less 
when you lay next to me 
but u don’t care at all
blame it on the alcohol
is there something there that i can’t see 
how the fuck am i supposed to breathe 
like oh
it’s okay if you wanna let go 
i know you probably need a little more 
i just miss when you were close
i know how this shit go
fall apart when it gets cold 
n i start to get feel real low 
know you’ll leave me when it snows 

when it snows 
iced out had to put on a coat 
neck cold but my hearts on froze 
fucked up i can’t do this alone 
baby why u gotta do me like that 
n still ask why my songs so sad 
everyday gotta put on a mask 
happy eyes with a knife in my back 

i say i love you 
“i love you too” 
most days i can’t get enough of u
when you leave i feel it 
it’s hard to deal with 
the crushing weight of this lonely feeling
rain it trickles 
cry a little 
nothings real 
it’s so artificial 
“you’re too brittle”
how i am supposed to feel when you speak in riddles 

i know i’m cold sometimes 
but i could never lie to you
i always say i’m fine 
i really don’t know what to do
i need you a little too much 
i’m scared that i’m never enough 
when you get distant it feels like i probably fucked up
get a little too scared i don’t mean much

snow (prod. jolst)

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