We are The Lamin8ers aka Jo Ashton & John Notkin (Honestly that is our real names!). We are most famous for our remix of 'Heavens Cry - Til Tears Do Us Part'! We initially did this remix back in 2001 then that scoundrel Flash Harry listened to it at one of our infamous bathroom parties! He then copied our remix and persuaded those sexy Tidy Boys to release it on their label! From there his remix became one of the biggest selling hard house records ever, he made his fortune and the Tidy Boys got their ANTHEM! We have been locked in a legal battle ever since to receive the royalties and recognition that we obviously deserve!!! 

Between us we have won Olympic Gold medals, made a pop star pregnant, visited the International Space Station and performed stunts in various blockbuster films!. One day we decided to make some bloody fun music and figured we try our hand at some ridiculously silly hard dance. We didn't really achieve that but this is the shit we came up with! We love Panda's!  

We once ran a cock fighting syndicate in Peru! That's where we made our fortune! We own houses in Monaco, New York, Singapore and the Isle of White. We have spent years djing all over the world under different names and we particularly like the fans in the Falkland Islands! They make a cracking broccoli and moss soup!

Another interesting fact is that Jo was the first person to receive a full and successful testicle transplant. You can google it! Having lost his testicles in a strange petting zoo incident he volunteered to try the transplant! This made news after its success and Jo is now the proud father to 5 kids! His eldest child, Dominic aged 17, was the the person responsible for bringing Hard Dance into our lives! He just loves a bit of Kutski on radio 1!

Just for the moment we are taking a break from hard dance whilst Jo goes off to star in the upcoming Star Wars movies! I have just designed the first successful pickling jar for children which allows you to keep your kids on the shelf up until the age of 7 and aim to sell it to a global market! Who knows, one day we may return to bring some joy to your life!

Who are the Lamin8ers?

...what a stupid fucking name!

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