I'd let someone pull the trigger on me uwu

The Upload

<3 
lyrics vvv
[empty]
i needa
use the same formula i did for dead wanted
i needa
think a little bit about how im gonna get where i
really wanna be
really wanna be 
really wanna..
use the same formula i did for dead wanted
i needa
think a little bit about how im gonna get where i
really wanna be
really wanna be 
really wanna..
took ten steps back 
just to realize i was gone baby
every single night that i been writing
i been zoned baby
every single time that ive been dead
you were right besides me inside my head
think a little, think a little
i know that shit hurts
but you gotta be aware
if i really want everything,
ill prove it.
yeah ill prove it..

[casperrr]
i know you are loyal i know you're by my side
but my head keeps on telling lies
i'll keep my thoughts out of ur sight
i'm just trying to do what i think is right 
sorry didn't mean to cry 
dunno if this is love dunno if there's a why
hurting and bleeding baby u're like blade
if i hold you tighter i'll feel more pain
blood keeps on leaking from my veins 
blood on my shirt it's full of stains
i can't fucking think i'm killing what's left of my brain 
don't want all of my efforts to be in vain

[empty]
i needa
use the same formula i did for dead wanted
i needa
think a little bit about how im gonna get where i
really wanna be
really wanna be 
really wanna..
use the same formula i did for dead wanted
i needa
think a little bit about how im gonna get where i
really wanna be
really wanna be 
really wanna..

formula. w/ casperrr (splashgvng)

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

IDGAF

IDGAF (feat. blackbear)

//mid music
//w artist : holyegg

using a diff mic / audio processor this time around.

Lovely Nightmares

LOVELY NIGHTMARES! (prod. Squeril)

lyric video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy6PLSWfNas

produced by onassis
mixed by onassis
cover art by ig @hxyzo

stand out (prod. onassis)

with @tnvr555 
please check him out :) he's a great friend of mine that mixes and works on almost all of my songs, insanely talented

// tnvr 
snowfall sweetness, baby you could feel it 
summertime sadnesss, don't need no reason 
waste my time, if it makes you feel so alive 
heads in a panic, man i'm independent 
wait just wait, hold up wait a minute (why?)
not ready for the real world (oh, ok)
it's what you never say 
the facade you think you play
be careful what you wish for cus karma gets you back 

sometimes, you're on my mind
and when you're on my mind, i wanna die 
yeah
sometimes, you're on my mind
and when you're on my mind, i wanna die 

throw your holy water at me 
got some ghosts around the block that wanna see me bleed
i'm not, not who i thought i would be 
but at least i'm not you 
na na na na na 
na na na na na 

// geist 
at least i’m not you 
pulled up on the track and now your tongues glued 
throw holy water at me 
can’t burn my devils you’ll see
now it’s all blue 
scared to leave my house cause well you’re all ghouls 
come on, oh baby let’s bleed 
just pull the trigger on me 

liar, you’re a sinner  
so tired my eyes are hindered 
but i’ll still see you in my dreams
and i’m a fire in the center
burnt out i can’t remember my name 
oh woahhhh oh oh…

// tnvr & geist 
(i can’t go another night without sleeping)

snowfall sweetness, baby you could feel it 
summertime sadnesss, don't need no reason 
waste my time, if it makes you feel so alive 
heads in a panic, man i'm independent 
wait just wait, hold up wait a minute (why?)
not ready for the real world (oh, ok)
it's what you never say 
the facade you think you play 
be careful what you wish for cus karma gets you back 

karma gets you back
karma gets you back

spotify

panic w/ tnvr [prod. tnvr]

PLANTED (p. jaylen.)

music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFA09rC8RXo

I tried throwing up last night when I was drunk 'cause I felt sick
Woke up on my porch with a crack in my phone and I felt like shit
This thing never worked no matter how I tried to make it fit
Like the wrong pliers or the size of a screwdriver I grind down the bit
I'm the oldest son in my family my mom wants me to have a few kids
But I'm one drug away from being fucked up homeless living under a bridge
In eighth grade I got high and burned my leg with lit matchsticks
I guess I liked the pain or something but that's as far as it went
Life is kinda like a lullaby from when we were kids
It's happy and sad at the same damn time and you always know how it ends
You said work was fine you're just pretending to like me but I don't get upset
I'll just wait until you leave around nine and then I'll complain to my friends

I tried throwing up last night 'cause I was drunk and I felt sick
Woke up on my porch in sweat stained clothes and I felt like shit
I'm a butterfly with torn off wings that I use as sails
I'm a drop of blood in the water I'm spreading thin until I'm all clear
Life is kinda like a lullaby from when I was a kid
It's happy and sad at the same damn time and I always know how it ends
You said work was fine you're just pretending to like me but I don't get upset
You said I'm alright but I'm not your type I could tell in the first five minutes

how it ends (p. acey)

Octobers here, I had to drop at least 1 spooky track!

Worst

with FøRD (soundcloud.com/breckenford)

Greenwood:
Getting dark, its getting cold
And you’ve done more than you could know
But I’d still let you in to say again
It’s better now

So what would you say in the dark light of your kitchen floor
Cause lately its no one that I’m living for
And there’s no peace fucking anymore
You were so close, only 24
And I still got a fucked up memory now
But thoughts of you could still break through
I limp unsteady through every town
Man I really thought I could save you

And I’m only here til you’re gone
The night on the pier, I still go there a lot
And I held the feeling I know that it’s wrong
But lately its not even safe in my thoughts

Greenwood & FøRD:
If that’s what you wanna do
It goes away
I know its been haunting you
We hardly talk
Just know that I thought it through

Its getting cold
And you’ve done more than you could know
I saw your hints, I saw your notes
But couldn’t say why

FøRD:
What I wanna say
Instead ima whisper it up in my head
Worried that you’ll break my bones, break my vertebrae
Just like the rest you make me wanna run away
Can we touch base another day?

It’s so hard I can’t begin to tell you the truth
Lights out and I don’t know what the fuck to do
Ask how but I don’t know if I could explain
Bad crowd and now, now I know that they were lame

I used to dream of every night laying next to you
And now I drink cause suicidal thoughts are overdue

So I guess I’ll just leave the room
I’ve had a mess up
But don’t wanna tie a noose

Greenwood & FøRD:
If that’s what you wanna do
It goes away
I know its been haunting you
We hardly talk
Just know that I thought it through

Rosewater (w/ Brecken )

coming in early just to stay late
i just wanted to see you in the worst way
and i don't know what i'm doing when the time goes
i'm just so good at losing what i need most

pulling me closer just to push me away
i hit the spot i think i'm closer today
i find the words, i don't find it easy to say
cause all this touching only gets in the way

but on that night i swear the coast was made of toxins
i should probably stop it
suddenly you're cold, now suddenly it's not an option
in the clothes i haven't washed yet
waterlogged and different like the note slipped in my pocket
hope you meant it like i mean cause i'm...
i'm feeling awful
couldn't stop it

pulling me closer just to push me away
i hit the spot i think i'm closer today
i find the words, i don't find it easy to say
cause all this touching only gets in the way

so long in Boston
ice sleet, but i'm on it
i don't sleep if i'm honest
it's alright and i promise
fucked up what you call it
undone when you saw it
light brings out the worst in me
but thats hardly your fucking problem
cause you're not here and we're not talking

hotel rooms from the first night
i wake up at the first sign
i walk out to the sealine
i can't tell when i last tried
it never feels like it felt right
bleed pale light from the blue tides
i slow down for the last time

Loftus

amv w/ lyrics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWEiXUjQd8g

vocals:
https://soundcloud.com/plslovejai
https://soundcloud.com/lilbooj

production:
https://soundcloud.com/irby314
https://soundcloud.com/jolst

mastered by https://soundcloud.com/diamoonofnhg

lately i been

STREAM

love jai - lately i been (ft. lil booj)

thank u 4 listening <3

lyrics: 

and i, just wanted u to stay one night 
so can you, try to find the pieces that’s u broke
i’m all alone

like oh god ur the one 
do i wanna fix this idk
all the fuckin time that i spent 
tryna figure out this distance, yeah

but I tried, i tried so hard
but I was not enough, for u love

and i know, it gets so cold sometimes 
the snow is fallin down on your face
am i a disgrace, i just wanna leave this place 
and never look back, never look back 

like oh god ur the one 
do i wanna fix this idk
all the fuckin time that i spent 
tryna figure out this distance, yeah

distance (pekarot & splashgvng)

change ft. cavasoul (prod. swaine)

Big-room desert energy. Dubai lights, Arabic vocals, and festival power. “Desert Lights” — Milosh & Elara Smith. Out now. ✨

A high-energy electro-house / big-room / Arabic-pop fusion shaped for Dubai nights and festival stages.
“Desert Lights” blends soaring female vocals, deep male Arabic phrases, pounding house drums, Middle-Eastern leads, and a cinematic desert-night atmosphere.
The track moves between hypnotic sand-heat verses, an explosive bilingual hook, and a drop built for dancefloors, rooftop parties, and late-night drives through Dubai Marina.
Perfect for: nightclubs, desert festivals, gym playlists, night-drive energy boosts.

✨ Credits:
• Artists: Milosh & Elara Smith
• Genre: electro-house / big room / Arabic pop
• Vibe: energetic • midnight desert • cinematic • festival
• Themes: passion, rhythm, Dubai nightscape, desert magic

💿 Produced by: Mariia Merkulova — Merkulova AI Studio
🌐 www.merkulovaai.ru

order song

Desert Lights — Milosh & Elara Smith

a little throwaway song i wrote :) enjoy x

lyrics -

and i always wonder
if i'm enough, if i'm enough
it always seems to peak when i'm in love
just always wanna find the best for us

oh soft skin with a broken heart
oh school failed, you won't give it up
'cos your parents wouldn't ever let you live it down
sacrifice your life while they're still around

and oh loose chains wrap around your arms
mental cage keeps you running out
oh loose change, are you happy now?
you talk about your future while your present keeps crashing down

soft skin with a broken heart

if i'm enough, if i'm enough
it always seems to peak when i'm in love
just always wanna find the best for us

panic w/ tnvr [prod. tnvr]

I'm Geist

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