svnam - i'll be ok (pekarot)

karma *guda*

I’m sorry that I’m not perfect 
show me that you think I’m worth it 
i know it’s not attractive to be sad like all the time 
getting fucked up every night
I hate that I’ve been so vacant in my mind 
I’m sorry that I’m not perfect 


in my mind i’m nothing, I’m worthless 


i’m muted, I’m wordless 
I’m always left breathless 
lovestruck by your presence 
I think that you get the message 

I’m too self aware and observant 
and I just want some reassurance 
all of my scars have been resurfaced 
and i feel like I have no purpose 

i don’t really know why I’m even like this 
I’m done, and don’t even wanna fight this 
brush off every feeling till I’m mindless 
drink & drive while I’m high to get excited 

just a post millennial burnout 
trying my best to not be a let down
I know I’m not perfect, just want to be worth it

Baby I’ve been fighting all the demons vibin in my head
they came from reaping got me deep in existential dread  
i wish that I could just lay next to you up in my bed
chillin watching Netflix and maybe some freaky sex 

pouring you up a cup of coffee 
manifesting that you’d want me 
despite my thoughts and how they’re haunting

i'm sorry i'm not perfect (prod. Jolst x Wisssery)

my quick fixes ft. dead broke (p. 5head)

lyrics:
mumbling shit that sounds fye
you dont wanna be on the sideline
then tell me why youre here its like youre always wasting my time
you say that you love me really girl thats funny
cause i would bet some money
one of these days youll walk away from me
i told my mom you better pray for me
mentally its hard i dont think any of this is safe for me
im way too open for a bitch they always try & fucking play with me
thats on god I dont trip bout what was said to me

and im not the one you want
is there a reason i keep wanting to give this up
give me a meaning i donnt care if its all not enough
im trying hard and everyday its just not adding up
like whats the point of anything if i dont wanna live
theres just a part of me i dont wanna give
its all in my head
and you keep fuking me over
i dont wanna bother you its not the same anymore
and if it was ion think itd matter
im so done always wishing on a happy ever after
you dont gotta hit me up it only makes me madder 

you dont wanna be on the sideline
then tell me why youre here its like youre always wasting my time
you say that you love me really girl thats funny
cause i would bet some money
one of these days youll walk away from me
i told my mom you better pray for me
mentally its hard i dont think any of this is safe for me
im way too open for a bitch they always try & fucking play with me
thats on god I dont trip bout what was said to me

sideline [p. thislandis]

recorded & mixed by me
produced by back2thapast

So I'm like yeah yeah yeah oh oh oh
This the start of something new
Every time I'm in a room with you I get a bad mood
Oh pardon me sorry dude I don't really wanna talk no
I don't really wanna talk
I don't really wanna talk no
I don't really wanna talk

So can you tell me what you mean
Nothing here is meant for me I'm nothing like I'm supposed to be
I hope that its all a dream
But its always a nightmare lately I been so scared I don't know
So I pick up right back where I started
Lately I don't want no friends and to my friends I'm so cold hearted
I cant wait till all this ends
Tell my momma that I'm sorry
I ain't as strong as I thought I was but I'm still working hard for us
Yeah and I been fighting for so long
I just wish this shit was simple what the fuck am I doing wrong
For my whole life I thought it was destiny
Now I don't think its meant for me
I'm tearing by the seams and honestly I wanna rest in peace
I cry each time I'm on a beat
Toss and turning in my sleep
Wake up sweating on my sheets cause I keep running from the truth
I just wanna be with you but you don't wanna be with me
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me
Oh yeah
Yeah
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me
Oh yeah
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me

growing pains

spotify

growing pains [p. back2thapast]

I wanna press rewind
I swear to god all I do is waste my time yeah
Its not for you its all for me this world is mine
I cant wait that long I think I'm bout to cut the line
Tell me what the fuck you see in me cause lately I been blind
Oh well I guess you caught me
I don't got the confidence I did when I was young you see
This world will get you fucked up
Always trust ya gut yup
I think there's something wrong inside my head I'm always stuck yeah oh

Okay if you wanna talk I guess I really got no option
You better have my money by the time I fucking walk in
Okay tell me what the fuck is good
I'm so high inside this bitch I'm doing shit you wish you could
I get money its a lot just check the check
Smoking chemicals I feel this shit real deep inside my chest
I don't know why I cant let it go
Why does everything that's bad feel so good its all a cycle
And its all fucked up
Tell me why is everybody so stuck up
Will i really be like this till I'm dead and gone
Can somebody tell me where it all went wrong yeah

I wanna press rewind
I swear to god all I do is waste my time yeah
Its not for you its all for me this world is mine
I cant wait that long I think I'm bout to cut the line
Tell me what the fuck you see in me cause lately I been blind
Oh well I guess you caught me
I don't got the confidence I did when I was young you see
This world will get you fucked up
Always trust ya gut yup
I think there's something wrong inside my head I'm always stuck yeah oh

rewind

rewind [p. jammybeatz]

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spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/track/2agaa6xdAztB2nZaoR9Mvw?si=f576015d49484d4c

(p. gonondatrack)

~lyrics~

(intro)
im so pissed off wish..
im so mad like, you dont even understa-

(hook)
name 1 time i gave a fuck 
hm?..
all i hear is silence
i keep my blicky tucked n if i up it u hear sirens
shh
please shut up with all the whinin 
i was broke but now i drop a hunnid when im dinin

(verse 1)
call me money mitch 
racks is blue like lilo - stitch
i dont luv that bitch, i luv the thought of bein rich
im like ritchi, snappin
gang gon make it happin
no applause but wen we in the street yea shit start clappin
yea i came up off that sad shit, now they angry when i smile 
u want the old me back? huh, u gon wait a while 
cuz he dead bitch, get that thru yo head bitch 
ur fuckin trash, why u judging like u dredd bitch?

(bridge)
why u judging like u dredd?
talkin shit, get that shit thru ur head
ugh. thru ur head 
yea, why u judging like u dredd? -__-

i been on the block for a minute 
she been on my ____ for a minute
u been actin hot for a minute 
we gon get ur ass dropped in a minute >:)

(hook)
name 1 time i gave a fuck 
hm?..
all i hear is silence
i keep my blicky tucked n if i u-up it u hear sirens
shh
please shut up with all the whinin 
i was broke but now i drop a hunnid when im dinin

(verse 2)
please dont talk, just be quiet 
talkin hot until they see me.. then they change the climate
5 ppl blicked up, bitch issa riot 
i be droppin bombs on the beat im like a pilot >:] 

(hook)
name 1 time i gave a fuck 
hm?..
all i hear is silence
i keep my blicky tucked n if i u-u-p-p it u hear sirens
shh
please shut up with all the whinin 
i was broke but now i drop a hunnid when im dinin

name 1 time.

Yeah
Ugh
How the hell do I tell what's right from wrong
It always seems like everyone got it put together oh
I don't think I care enough to get on
At this point I hate making every song
Honestly it don't bring me peace anymore
I reminisce when I was sleeping on the floor with my dad
Wanted everything it never mattered what I couldn't have
Now my vision distorted and I been heading down the wrong path
I was supposed to learn from my mistakes now I might crash
Why the fuck do I keep breaking down
I think I really fucking hate me now
I'm closer to the end
Can anybody somebody just hear me out
No who
Don't ask me how I'm doing
When everything gets rough I'm holding on
I aint really that tough I aint really that strong
Its my fucking life I ruined
I don't wanna get into it oh
Lately I'm the clown or I'm the pawn everyday I'm feeling stupid oh

I give advice to everyone but never take my own
I got problems on problems I guess you can say I'm grown
And I wonder how they'll feel when I'm dead and I'm gone
Tell my mom plant a tree when its time
I don't wanna tombstone
I don't want nobody crying
I don't wanna do wrong
I just wanna make it right
I sit at this laptop
Complaining about my spot
But I know that there's others that don't got it like I got
Used to put it on my mother one day I would pop
If you ask me now Ill tell you ima stop
Its not the same as before
Cause I don't want it like I did anymore
I don't see the point tell me what its for
I cant go one day being sober
This my dream and I think its over
Oh its over

dying from a panic attack at 5 am w/ I'm Geist

inuday

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