"materiality" 
is a noun defined as the quality or characteristic of being composed of matter
it is also the quality of being relevant or significant
-------
dancing with the shells 
of my mother's life 
through cleaning out her closet back in January

honoring what changed 
throughout her journey here

holding curiosity 
for the lives 
i never knew 
that colored these fabrics

holding 
what is changing 
within 
me 
in this process

releasing 
what was never meant to be 
permanent 

only a container or vessel

while holding
some things
close

what remains?
what matters?

[5] mami materiality

[6] lizard lessons

Should've Been Real (remix)

She Flew Away to Pray

pulang kampung roughly translates to returning home (to the village)in bahasa indonesia. it usually is in the context of migrants or migrant workers returning to their hometown or village during the holidays to be with their own families. it is also commonly used by Indonesian Muslims breaking the end of their fasting for Ramadan (Eid al-Fitr) to reconnect and celebrate with family.

i use this phrase to describe my process in trying to return to my homeland and to my people without necessarily a specific soil to return to. it is me acknowledging the histories of enslavement and forced diaspora of the people i come from but it is also me trying to imagine the stories of me and my people originating from some place other than trauma. it is me realizing that i have to be somewhere and someone different in order to find my way home. 

I’m on the margin of another dimension 
and i am afraid

of falling 
							into no place

i can’t see in all of this darkness
is anybody here

I’m trying to go home

my palm turned upward
gesturing toward someone
					you

fingers slid between mine
i held them

i closed my eyes and we jumped

we were consumed by blackness
we became past, present and future

voices screaming at me
spirits reaching for me
my silence never felt so loud
						is this crazy

but then i stopped 
thinking
felt my heart beat 
reverberating inside 
my chest

chaos caressed my ears 
sounded like sweet cacophonous melodies

i didn't know where we were going
or where we were

but i was unafraid

chasing the spirit i was born with

finding myself in ephemera. 
in transience. 
in you. 
and in me.

pulang kampung (live mix)

we have come to the ocean to know how to be free
how to find solace for our souls

we’re told to remember
strip down to ourselves
run into the ocean like returning home
this reunion
finally

we sink our bodies into the water
asking to remember
memories flood our consciousness
i feel your heartbeat in my palm
your tears on my leg feel like my own
can’t tell the difference between your cries and mine
our voices crash and flow like waves
we sink into this more
fall into each other 
through reflections

we anticipate the rain
hoping for cleansing
eyes closed, hands interlaced
silent prayers for renewal

she calls to us 
when we least expect her
we run outside like children

chasing a feeling
chasing each other
chasing ourselves

even if it hurts

maybe
because it hurts

because we can feel again

because we are 
because we are
because we are

alive

waiting for the rain (live mix)

Written, Arranged and produced by BLCKNOISE

Personell:

Victor (Ujah) Ujadughele - Composer, Arranger, Guitar
Donovan Brown - lyrics, Vocals
Roger Benford - Drums
Dylan Romaine - Bass
Chris Meraz - Keys, synthesizer
Daniel Tureck - Mixing and Mastering enigineer

–Released Jan 2020
  Recorded & mastered in Long Beach, Ca

King on the run

track by @organic_kid
•○●•
lyrics:
there’s a sunset on the desert
there’s a sunset on September
falling into place easier said than done
when you caught in the race

i like being still watching my mind
symbols repeating still cycles divine 
my destiny’s mine but not wit a capital
we both choosing each other so it’s mutually magical

my dad died and my world broke open
i put one toe in 
now im soak in
the waters of the skies
my dad says the sky never dies

my friend linea told me comets are fast melting ice
so flamin' hot cheetos out here really puffin lies

i'm ten steps ahead of you
but it’s not a race it circles   
collapsing on each other infinity whirlpools

i'm not waiting to be discovered  
uncovered myself while losing the idea of the other
it helps 

food grows where water flows
so water knows
sniffles don't mean you gotta pop tylenols
maybe it’s just an opportunity for letting go
a common cold or a call en code

rest area in a mile  
can you wait that long inner child?
i like to practice patience its a must
i'm also learning to trust in sacred timing no rush
i'm also working on showing up on time (laughs)
but i guess that’s every pisces line

i like following the signs except speed 65
i push 80 and i keep on driving by
my life's a movie
a grand journey in disguise

they say the sky’s the limit
but my dad says it never dies
it just keeps on livin
(we just keep on livin)

sometimes i feel like i cant make it
but what's actually making it
when we actually ancient
westwind telling me to listen
used to hoop in the summers wood floor gymin
jamin like smuckers caruthers 
best teachers ask the best questions 
loud in the silence of living out their life lessons
droppin gems to get you right to your message

music video link!

the sky never dies (prod. organic_kid)

Don't delete your art 🌹 Protect your he(art)🫀
Sing stories for the youth 🦋🐉💧
Dance for the beloved dead 🧚‍♀️

She Flew Away to Pray

itsmamacrab

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