u got the coldest heart? thats what u think, u not seen mine

haunted house [ushanka boy]

running blind ft. casperrr (prod. cl6udy)

prod by marlon & jacob vallen

its hard to feel proud
wonder when i fell behind
i cant find a reason now
between the lines

need something i can lean on
just something for myself
people change, it seems im the only one that cant move on at all

sleep away my days, its got me feeling useless
theres alot to say, when i dont i feel like a nuisance 

sleep away i lay awake
don't follow me, my dream is fake
my blood still flows it circulates
clown on stage 

not everything revolves around you, its a hard truth to tell, all this circus has to end
i've been barely proud of myself, this is where i dwell, no more masks we used to lend
from now on it's only no repent, i just do my thing, then i got no one to blame
but in the end i did resent, think i didn't think, enough to see flames

proud w/ marlon

everything reproduced by me
original song credits towards my dear friend jude (@sleepywater)


i miss you so much bro; love you, forever.

sleepwater - tomorrow (cover)

produced by jolst 🦠 
featuring heylog

i won’t stay with you
won’t stay with you
cus i’m not good enough 
i won’t pray for you
won’t pray for you
i’ll cry as i’m burning up
don’t say it’s you
won’t say it’s you
it’s me, you’re not cold enough 
i won’t lay with you
won’t lay with you
take me, i’m the one you want 

and my lock screen
has your face on
can i rest here babe
i won’t stay long
sorry we’re toxic
it’s not me love
had it but i dropped it
now i wake up 
in the middle of the night 
scream “where the fuck the day gone”
i know that im ugly
so ill scratch until my face gone
i know i got problems
i know i got serious like - 
i know i got problems 
i know i got serious like - 

heylog:
wake up and do the same damn thing
got my face fixed n skin dont sting
i feel a lot better
skin just kept getting redder
im always lookin around
and im so paranoid now
all the sudden i stopped feelin safe
pack it up to a smaller town
burn it all down
burn it all
i hope youre proud
i hope it
burn it all down
burn it all
wont be around
wont be nah

i won’t stay with you
won’t stay with you
cus i’m not good enough 
i won’t pray for you
won’t pray for you
i’ll cry as i’m burning up
don’t say it’s you
won’t say it’s you
it’s me, you’re not cold enough 
i won’t lay with you
won’t lay with you
take me, i’m the one you want

burn w/ heylog (jolst)

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

prod hollowprpl
guitar by me

lyrics


hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it costs me my life
cuz i cant be sane again here in my mind
im alone
i see the sympathy die by the window
i really miss what we had
am i too cold?

the constants in my life arent constant anymore 
between you and me im not sober no more
i can die freely, id have no remorse
the meaning of life is to love and mines no more 
oh im horrible

hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it’s not your fault. [swan dive] (hollowprpl x ash.)

P. nomansland 

Support my friend enyu!

https://on.soundcloud.com/qUpx1yH6fYpXyzuuwE


Lyrics~

(Swamp) 

My lifes in a spiral 
And I just can’t seem to catch a break
When I tried this shit the passive way 
they hit me at a faster pace 
It was a massacre up there on that caligo hill
Sends A shiver down your serabelem, signal the chills 

Ok yeah I’m back up on attack, there’s just no foldin us 
Grab that ammo load it up 
It’s gettin kinda quiet on this California western front 
Give it all you can until you can’t and hope the war is almost done 
Shell shocked, you’ve had enough 

There you go, you’re telling yourself that never again 
Will you put you’re life on the edge for something that somebody said 
The battle goes on in your head 
And shurly you’ll face a certain death 
But I guess you love that shit because you never left 

(Enyu)

Loaded chambers caught in a deadlock
choke on me like a tight knot
rewinding all of my future plans
hailing down on me till my heart stop
yeah, but i’m still in it
guess i’m twisted
drawn to where i fucking bled
need some god to grant my wishes
rather than be fucking dead

i scrape my wounds when its dark
a shiver down my extremities
and while the whole world fell apart
i stand upfront with serenity
and when I turn around
the time has come for confession
to learn a beautiful lesson
i’m heading outbound
to fend off my imperfections

(Swamp)

Hopefully when the dust settles I’ll be alright 
All intact and alive 
The only loss being time 
Trying to figure out another way to save myself 
From the war in my head, it’s been a living hell

never ending spiral w/ enyu

from a year ago <3

Its a total different picture,  
ur not here inside the photo frames  
I can really not forget you,  
what we had was real but it felt so fake 
and I don’t really wanna listen,  
to the bad things that u have to say 
I know got some bad habits  
I promise one day they will go away  x2

I love to lose my head,
I smoke up cuz im sad again 
and I know it will pick me up for time,  
it comes crashing down, I do it all again 
im just rolling up till the sunrise
and you know that im dead u can see it in my eyes

I cannot manage,  
oh shits fucked up,
Damn that’s tragic  
put me in the past tense 
they too busy laughing, 
I been building what I have for years, 
I don’t know if it’ll take me anywhere ill see 
right past the ocean I feel the breeze 
im way past emotions, I think I feel free

photo frames [everest]

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

what if i never picked up the phone
what if he never even called at all
i dont know, but i dont care
theres a reason why im still here
what if the tide wasnt so far in
winds a little calmer, so i could swim
or have i sinned ?
what if i never went away with my friends
and i spent the last minutes on a call with him
and i got to say goodbye, and that this is the end
at least id have some fucking closure on this life that i live
and what if he never accpeted any help from the meds
cause his children needed longer and they offered him that
just to leave him no time at all
i know its hard to accept but im falling flat

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

claws

lyrics ⬇️

im not one to stop and look both ways
no chance ill be out there when the road way
blocked
stop and stare until urhead shakes 
wont wake up unless i turn all the lights off
what a way to live my life i wanna stand tall
i need the rays from the sunshine but the rain falls
i cant explain the way i change when both my fists are folded
all the anger up in me starts to hone in

know this every time you spot me ill be hoping
closest memories you hold to me are broken 
potent every single line and every notion

wake me up when its over
ill be there when ur sober
only
i dont like it when you slur your words
cheap liquor only makes it worse

i know you know it that i dont like these emotions much
when you throw it ima hold it til you make me budge
yea thats all that i know
everything goes wrong 
but anything that works

i knew it what was up before its over
i shoulda spoke up but i was scared id be a loner
i think its a bright idea if i dont poke the ogre 

something in my noggin said that it’d hurt like an ulcer
so i didnt choose it by myself
it was all up in my brain got no feeling that you felt
u been ignoring all my phone calls made my own lil personal hell

and you a poser you aint worried bout my health
youd rather watch me in my cell
i hate the steel bars that you put across my face but say oh well

not a thing id rather see more but i wish that you could tell
how i mean to sound i dont wanna scream i swear i hate to yell
but you give me no choice you folded over the second you felt ur frail

disassociating ever time im worried ima fall
its been tauntng me when someome walk by with a simialr smell
i think it’s obvious im worried til im sick and ima spill

you been rockin out at parties without me im feelin ill
if you saw me id say sorry seconds later i would dip
i been so sloppy i wish that you understood and it made sense
it been awful since you lead me on and made me feel like this
 like its coffee you were hot u til ur cold before I flinched 

i been lonely but in your eyes you think I deserve it
not a trophy but at one point you made me feel amazing
whh dint u show me what you really meam liek really say it
ill be here until it’s right and u aint rlly playin

running blind ft. casperrr (prod. cl6udy)

raevyn

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