prod. flesh

lyrics:
double back, all the trouble from the past
who'd have thought that i would last, coulda had a heart attack
none of that, none of that, on the move i up a stat
made it through a quarter year, 22 is one the best
that i had, that i had, tryna balance out the bad
oh my goodness what a task, demons feeding off my back
cardiac, cardiac, miss a beat i'm losing track
tryna keep my cool intact, letting loose and cutting slack

never guessed i'd be proud of myself
out of breath, out of space, so i grounded myself
little steps will never win the race
but i can settle for another place
cause i'm not the best, really outed myself
as long as i can blend into a crowd i'm doing well
cause i'm afraid, and that will never change
fear's the only thing that keep me sane

second guessing everything it's only right it's only life, man
i'm a no one and i'm frightened
time will slip away i hope a memory suffices
stupid games and stupid prizes
scrape all the shake off
i could never, no, no i could never
yet i brace myself for takeoff
never better, no, never been better ever

never guessed i'd be proud of myself
out of breath, out of space, so i grounded myself
little steps will never win the race
but i can settle for another place
cause i'm not the best, really outed myself
as long as i can blend into a crowd i'm doing well
cause i'm afraid, and that will never change
fear's the only thing that keep me sane

little steps

Prod. @prodneverforever

you're a disappointment
I refuse to talk to you cause all of that is pointless
Part the sea like I am Moses
Ripping hearts in two was a result of being honest
But I should've seen this coming
Every time the bottle touched your lips and it was poison
You would change into a different person
Using all your anger change your name to Bruce Banner
All the arguments and fighting
I was in the middle of a field and you were lightning
Waiting for it all to strike me
Sometimes I would stand there with a kite that I was flying
Plant the seed and feed it water
Growing into ivy when it should've been a flower
Rashes all along your body
I will take it as a sign that you were never sorry

Where did things go wrong
Or were they like this all along
Fast forward
The part that keeps you far from home

I'm no saint myself
Things I've done can't help
The person that you wanted me to be
You'll find it deep inside the enemy
Write the story out in cursive
Freed you from your cage for you to bring out all the serpants
Now I know who's problematic
Slaughter every snake who took my loyalty for granted
Time to split the atom
Desecrating worlds only you could ever fathom
Lay you down into the chasm
Everyone will leave you that's the curse of post mortem 

Where did things go wrong
Or were they like this all along
Fast forward
The part that keeps you far from home

lay u down into the chasm

Mixed/mastered by me
prod fool4love

Lyrics:

i try to recite it but im still hidin inside
the understanding is gone so i just wait for the lie
and honesty fighting i dont think i would survive
but its the thought of your heart next to mine that keeps it beating inside

i just wish that you would learn to finally fuckin hate me
you told me that you needed a little time for your self
after all the tears that i spilled
all the feelings are gone and i regret
but you just wanna hold on you can't dead it
you said that you left because you had to but i bet that you'd do it again
honestly, creepy, i know that you don't real need me
tired of fallin in love for everyone to just leave me

you let me down so dont tell me what i deserve 
im dyin in silence forgot everything that i have heard
tried for an answer but i got nothin inside of me left
why do we fight it when you're obviously on my side

i tried it again, but you wouldnt fight for me
why would you lie and tell me that you're in love with me
im so tired of this, i can't breathe
i dont understand why you would say that you need me

i just wish that you would learn to finally fuckin hate me
you told me that you needed a little time for your self
after all the tears that i spilled
all the feelings are gone and i regret
but you just wanna hold on you can't dead it
you said that you left because you had to but i bet that you'd do it again
honestly, creepy, i know that you don't real need me
tired of fallin in love for everyone to just leave me

u never loved me and i know that now

i guess its okay... [+heydium]

Lyrics: 

i dont wanna fight, i just wanna be by your side uhh
please don't leave me alone, won't you hold me through the night uh uhhh
cause my brain always tells me, that life's not worth living
and i can't decide whether to keep on creating
and honestly i can tell i'm the only one hating
but still i can't get it out of my mind
cause i'm lost in thought yea lately i been ruminating 
on the chance that i might end my suffering

i can't save it 
oh im finally facing
the inevitable end of our relationship
and ain't this what you wanted
don't tell me that your haunted
by the ghost of your decisions 
oh this time around was harder

cause i been feeling like im in a loop again
honestly i just think i need new friends
cause all of mine still hate me 
and the rest they tried to play me
every time i text you ain't been gettin replies lately
all these burdens i'm stressed out
i just wanna be held down
baby i'm so sorry i know it hurts you when i carve my arm now 

oh they're caught in my throat
all these words i'm tryna say
baby i'm teary eyed, and i'm fuckin terrified
i just want you to hold me
i'm so tired of always bein lonely
honestly i didn't think i'd make it this far
if i don't see you now then i'll catch you in the next form
we only text so it gets lost in translation
but i hope you know that when i check up on you it means i miss you
and baby i can't deal with all this fuckin distance
but when you don't text me all day oh it makes me worry 

cause i gotta respect myself enough to speak my mind
i can't go a day without hearin from you and just be fine
that's not how love works baby i need your attention
i need to know if you care or if you're just pretending
these thoughts are running all around inside my mind
and no matter how hard i try i just can't stop thinking 
and i don't know, oh should i give up now, or hold on until the end

i cant stop thinking (tied for silver x flesh)

@jeffjenkem

i've been missing something in my life
it's like i'm out of my element all the time
cause i don't know how i'm supposed to react
when i'm going in blind

circled by the vultures they're pecking me dry
it won't happen till i'm older but the thought of it might
i wish i could just be bolder and follow the light 
yeah i got sick of the act so i left it behind
 
it's so cold my body shaking
and i find it hard to find the warmth in something i've mistaken
could you check my vital signs i'm tryna find oasis
if it's beating fine i'll crawl across the desert till i make it

i saw all that i could take and still i move along
encumbered past my breaking point it's doing harm
i don't wanna make it about me at all
it's just something i've awakened and i'm too alarmed 

i should probably get some rest
like the rest 
buzzin till my heart beat straight 
out my chest
tell me why this fog still rolling in my head?
i need a lighthouse
i don't want this ship to wreck

lighthouse (jeffjenkem x flesh)

Track 1 on my album 'for better or worse'

Guitars by BENNYKAAY 
Drums by me

Lyrics:
i’m waiting for something i don’t know exists 
imperfect reflection of a hope for happiness 
can something remind me why i started this 
from the start to end 
feel like i’m lost again 

i’m waiting for something i don’t know is true 
a perfect example of what I’d want this to do 
but i worry what the story has for me and you

give me a second just enough so i can empty my head 
a second chance that I could use to heal
clinging to moments where I thought that it would all stay the same 
my coping method cuz i still feel 

lost (x2)
so if you read between the lines 
you can see why this is dying 
but until then 
i’m spent 
wasting away, never enough

beginning of the end 
or the end of the end of the beginning 
i try to keep my head up 
but there’s always something missing 
darling 
what’s missing darling 
what’s missing?

at the beginning or the end 
i think i’m lost

lay u down into the chasm

rinnegone

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