This song got me through a break up 🔥😮‍💨

been sitting on this one for like two years now. i hope y'all enjoy it. thank you for all the love & support. i can't even begin to tell you how much i appreciate it. <3

lyrics
--------
i wish i had friends
i wish i had anyone to save me
but i ain’t like them
i’m just a nightmare in the making
i pray that this ends
that the baphomet will take me
away from loose ends
cause i’m not to be forsaken 
maybe it’s a part of me
the anxiety
but the funny thing
is it’s all i can see
& it lies to me
fucking blinding me
when i honestly just

feel like i’m on drugs
even though i don’t even take em
it’s fuckin’ me up
ride these highs to feel complacent
it’s like i’m on drugs
i hide sometimes so i feel safe from
the pain in my gut
yeah it’s fucking me up
feels like i’m on drugs

i should dive in
swim to the surface when i’m stable
let’s skip the pretend
cause this life is not a fable
this story don’t end
till i’m hooked to all these cables
& start to see red
as they lie me on the table
maybe it’s the start of things
something i can’t see
it’s beyond a dream
an advisory
& it lies to me
fucking blinding me
when i honestly just

feel like i’m on drugs
even though i don’t even take em
it’s fuckin’ me up
ride these highs to feel complacent
it’s like i’m on drugs
i hide sometimes so i feel safe from
the pain in my gut
it’s fucking me up
feels like i’m on drugs

somebody wake me
cause life is a daydream
& i’m wasting time with you
so many faces
yeah i’m losing patience
& i’m stuck on loving you

feels like i’m on drugs (x4)

all i can see (prod. nick furlong x tony livadas)

rope, tape and cable ties

Check Out The Producer:
Soundcloud: @collinsbeats
Youtube: www.youtube.com/c/collinsbeats
Instagram: www.instagram.com/weloveyoucollins/

Lyrics
------------------------------------------------------
It's the infection of all you love
Don't let it take you down or else you're giving up
Just feel the tension like it's in your lungs
And let the oxygen be gone again as the water rises up

And I thought maybe I could be better again
Tearing me down while I'm losing my friend
I'm hitting you up while you left me on read
But I don't need your help when I'm dead in the end
Maybe I could be better again
Smoking too much while I'm losing my head
You're kicking me down while I'm still on the fence
Indecision incisions to this very breath

Counting the seconds at night
If I survive, I'd be the greatest alive
Taking my chances like dice
If I don't roll sixes I won't have my chances to try
Screaming confessions of fright
I'm scared of the future why won't you just give me a sign
How can I tell if she lies?
I couldn't lose her but all I'm getting is snake eyes

I fall apart in the moment
I feel the rift and it's growing
Creating the waves
But I don't know where they're flowing
Rocking the boat and I'm hoping
That I don't sink in the ocean
Shout I'm okay
While in the middle of choking

And I brought it all on myself
I'm telling you I don't need help
And why are you listening
I'm the one withering living a shell
What left do I have to tell
I'm acting vampiric
While writing out lyrics
I ain't seen the sun in a week
While you ask if I'm well

And I'm trapped between my head and DMs
Like D&D it's all just pretend
And sure I can swim
But I've just been thrown in in the deep end
I'm not last to feel this feeling again
But all I see is see my own end
I'm not one to live
But I just keep, keep on dreaming

Maybe I could be better again
Tearing me down while I'm losing my friend
I'm hitting you up while you left me on read
But I don't need your help when I'm dead in the end
Maybe I could be better again
Smoking too much while I'm losing my head
You're kicking me down while I'm still on the fence
Indecision incisions to this very breath

Counting the seconds at night
If I survive, I'd be the greatest alive
Taking my chances like dice
If I don't roll sixes I won't have my chances to try
Screaming confessions of fright
I'm scared of the future why won't you just give me a sign
How can I tell if she lies?
I couldn't lose her but all I'm getting is snake eyes

Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes [Prod. Collins]

guitar by : @waitingoncisco

lyrics:

i could be fake too
just not how i make do
it's not that i hate you 
well i don't know
hard to be great you know 
it's hard to be grateful
it's hard to be thankful
so i don't show
you know we all hurt it's just life
baby i get lost in the midnight
we all got problems i just admit mine
at night my eyes wont close

if i'm a star i'm burnt out and looking down
just cause she love me right now
don't mean she'll always be around
always stoned and in my house 
don't got nobody i can count on 
just stay tucked off by myself
oh i 
only get in my zone when i get on my own
all alone
she hit me up at all
and i shut off my phone
i go ghost
i swear she got those words you feel in your bones
who would have known
the prettiest face would have the ugliest soul

yeah but im a loverboy what'd you expect from me
i swear pretty girls will be the death of me
step to me i'm in the sky
baby i been hearing lies 
all my fucking life
so i always treat them nice
so when they fuck me over i don't even think twice
i just cut em off i don't even want a slice
imma leave her blocked
wish my heart weren't so soft 
wish you weren't my first fuck
all the shit is so dumb

now i just find safety in how 
these memories start all fading
put a knife inside my back
then ask why i'm so filled with hatred

anything but give you space and i'd rather erase myself
put the hurt of my back
chasing feeling's never helps

i could be fake too
just not how i make do
it's not that i hate you, 
well i don't know
hard to be great you know 
it's hard to be grateful
it's hard to be thankful
so i don't show
you know we all hurt it's just life
baby i get lost in the midnight
we all got problems i just admit mine
at night my eyes wont close

ghostboy. (with waitingoncisco)

Track two from Make It Through Fall

Guitar Lyrics And Vocals: Lil Xtra
Additional production: Kado

Links:

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/artist/7j8XINhxkD7WS4efrPxbhm

Soundcloud

 https://soundcloud.com/lilxtraatl

Merch

https://lilxtraofficialmerch.bigcartel.com/

Insta

https://www.instagram.com/lilxtraatl/

Twitter

https://twitter.com/LilXtraATL

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYqEuND_ZtclJ6RQzzsPtcA/videos

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/LilXtraAtl/


Lyrics: 
Yo I'm Doomed to a life of 7.25, 
No point living right won’t make it out alive 
Making plays downtown, let me sleep on the drive
Leaning from the fucking codine in my sprite 
Leaning on the hollows in his fucking four-five like,
Put it to my head and we’ll see if I can fly 
He don’t really care if I’m impaired just stares, says 
What the fuck is up, bruh you really want to die? 
Yeah, I been blessed with a death wish 
I just hope that I die young and high like Hedwig 
I’ve been too distressed to address this
But I know I can’t be the only one who feels helpless 
And I’m sorry that I’ve been so selfish
I’d change if I could, but I just can’t help it 
But I know who I am, no need to pretend 
Guess I’m I’m still fucked up, and let down again.

Cause I’ve been feeling down, can’t wait until it passes 
I kept your picture underneath my mattress
Can’t see the sky to find my own position 
I know it isn’t working, I know that something’s different

I know I'm fucking different....

Why the world gotta be like this?
Getting high and she tells me what her step dad did 
I keep the secret so she can pretend 
That her innocence hasn’t been lost in a sense 
So we go to the mall and buy some bullshit 
To block out how fucked up it all is
I just need a whip with the gold plate rims
I just need a pill to feel happiness 
I just need a check and some ice I can flex 
A few more drugs to feel a little less 
A few more hits and a girl that’s obsessed 
That loves all my shit and loves having sex
So I can pretend everything’s okay 
But the world’s so black and I’m so grey 
I hope in the end one day I’ll say 
I see the same old world in a brand new way

Cause I’ve been feeling down can’t wait until it passes 
I hope you keep me underneath your mattress 
Still too blind to see my own condition
I know I can’t be perfect I know that something’s missing

Cause I’ve been feeling down, can’t wait until it passes 
I kept your picture, underneath my mattress
I can’t see the sky, to find my own position 
I know it isn’t working, I know that something’s different

I hope I'm always different

I hope
I hope
I hope...
I hope I'm always different

Different

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/bornhero for the amazing beat <3

lyrics:
where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i do not know
how to fit in
smoking me out
ripping a spliff  
everyone loves me when i go and dip
everyone loves me when i go and dip

everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
i'm stuck here 
writing simple songs
hope to take the pain away
when my eyes turn to gray
i know 
that my secrets buried deep below the bong
will release
every thought i'm feeling making me do wrong

where i belong
i will not know
every weekend i'm feeling so low
no where to go 
staying at home
staring at walls scrolling twitter alone
hit up my phone
leave you on read
people around treating me like i'm dead
feel like a ghost
no one will post
sit in my bed think about you again   

no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti
no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti

i take control of the whip in my mind
driving me places that i can't define
exploring the road, taking my time
lie to my friends when i say i'm alright
where have i gone
i do not know 
hop in the car and i'm driving alone
phone is on silent not trusting these tones
i feel the weight all the way to my bone

where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i take control of the whip 
going straight 90 i dip
exploring the vessel of me
tell me about what you see

where i belong (prod. born hero)

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

fear no more w/ colemane (prod. by txcka & colemane)

FUNERAL

https://soundcloud.com/unknxwn7

weepings
Head in my hands as you walk away
I still reside in this vacant place
watch the rain fall down from the windowpane
silhouette of you baby I'm missing that face
~
Head in my hands as you walk away girl
I don't really know what to say girl
I've been blinded by the light-er
still I stay beside her 
drowning downing alcohol 
my future has looked brighter
keeping everything in the present time
cause the past was a blast I can't change that line
wear a mask skipping class, whats the point of trying?
everything you doing now changing up you're mind
and I don't know if you noticed, everything in this life make you lose focus
breathe in breathe out keep that self inner lotus
do whats fulfilling to you fuck that bogus 

unknxwn. & weepings
I don't know why insist on leading me on
If you wanna leave then why won't you just be gone?
You get in my head and you're there from dusk to dawn
I don't really get you, I don't know what you want

weepings
Head in my hands as you walk away girl
I don't really know what to say girl
I've been blinded by the light-er
still I stay beside her 
drowning downing alcohol 
my future has looked brighter

unknxwn.
Feel the weight press in, now I'm stresin'
I don't wanna wait for the death that I'm destined
I get too fucked up cause I feel too sick
I gave her trust and she made me feel stupid

Lost all my love to a bitch that was useless
Heart had enough and it made my mind ruthless
Planted a tree would grow to be fruitless
I'll never know why you did the shit you did

So till the day I leave this earth
I'll feel that pain, I'll feel that hurt
I feel the ache inside my bones
I'll never taste, I'll never know love

From no one, I'm so done
I say that shit so much but words don't mean shit huh?
And I know that's how you feel
Cause if you really loved me then I would never be here
You made me feel like nothing

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

yung van

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