Lyrics:
Hear the atmosphere 
They told me once 
Should've been clear
I'm not welcome here 
I hate myself from living fears 
I thought i veered
I ran and ran they're always near 
You're never clear 
Accept it and live

Live with guilt and all your shame all despite the fame
compliments just foreshadow betraying any trust you gain
you frequent a mask for the pain and I did the same
your actions attached to your name make your work in vein

I hope you know I didn't do this for no reason
you're the type of person to attack me to get even
and hey, you fucking made me this way
cus all I think about is how I'm getting betrayed

Fear the atmosphere
you ran and ran and now they hear
you're never cleared
might hate yourself throughout the years
you're cloaked in drear
and erroneous fears
endowed by your peers
i can see it from here

kintsugi

spotify

Atmosphere

Lyrics:

either lost track of the gamut or back then i didn't understand it
I see a power play and panic
reminded how I'm abandoned
I can't take this pressure
it's something that I'm damned with

my actions waste advantage
and I can't fucking manage

realized the power of my words and i froze
some others would've lied till they rose
eyes surround you, what's your platform pose
think I locked up because i didn't know
talk about symptoms on tracks, not the causes 
you said i sought attention everytime I broke and lost it
spoke on a problem that i had and you would cause shit
I became a victim of my friend and now I live on damaged
And no one seems to understand it
I'm moving feeling I'm too manic
I break down when my head's not managed by best friends
(abandoned)
I know they see me now as less then
they think I've got the worst intentions
I'm cut off from the first impression

Sequence

i'll tell you all my lies
want me living right
but i cant do that
everybody's tried
since my sister died nothing's working
i take all my pills
you give me my thrills
but i cant change
drugs just hide the pain
why's it all in vein?

i wont seek your love
too ready to run
beat you to the exit like it's fun
what did i just do?
it all fell through
ate a loaded gun
havent seen the sun in days since you
said i never loved you

you'd understand why you should go
if you know my plans to die
i'd rather leave you behind less traumatized
i'm sorry for that sacrifice

no one understands
if they do they'll tell
then i'm committed
send my cry for help
nothing makes me well
it just gives munitions
life's a living hell
i dont want to pull you through these conditions
let me right my wrongs
make a couple songs
maybe i'll feel different

i need to fight my past
need to find the reason that i'm so distant
i grew up abused
i was always used by people id call friend
i cant find the bounds
we wont make it now
im too far down

please forgive me
no pity
you dont know that you need this space
oh, im just keeping you safe
please don't forgive me
that's just litany
and you dont need that
no, you dont need that

In Retrospect

produced and written by me

lyrics:

i lost friends, means to ends and munitions
i'm still suck on whether i made all the right decisions
life's a mess, i've corroded from attrition
the path i put myself down put a hold on all my vision
i left morals neglected
now fiend for correctness
i know my intentions
dont care for retention
had years to correct it
i stressed it
i waded through all of these thoughts cus i'd break if i left it

i can make a hit by myself
show some greatness in stealth
put my worth in some work
i dont care if it sells
i got urges to quell
yall just turn on yourselves 
i dont need to get attacked when there's no news you can tell
bitch
fell your own friends
and make light of all the trauma they spread
it's better said as you just wanting some bread
and some attention
you need it
lose this and you'll bleed it
you feed in and bet on every outcome giving credence

sorry to digress again
i'm too stressed, it seems evident
go feed on their relevance
i just want my life back

i lost friends, means to ends and munitions
i'm still suck on whether i made all the right decisions
life's a mess, i've corroded from attrition
the path i put myself down put a hold on all my vision

i left friends who'd leave me out cus it seemed like they want that anyways
what? now you save me space? huh, guess you're saving face
bet you couldnt change and you just worsened
let you get to me and now they see a different person
i meet every need to feed the greed that you let furthen
fans brought out the worst in you and now you're left deserted
act new like you earned it
shocked when you get burned
all yall mourn the consequence
then never fucking learn

where you're gonna go

hated who i was and am 
i lived through a facade for friends 
now they know how i'm hurting 
that bond isn't returning
i move with the best intents 
while trudging through my old regrets
a new one isn't worth it
why'd you think i seemed so perfect

i know what you want from me 
feeding it's a want and need
no one ever wanted me
it's all that i'd see
this new urge blinds light from the tunnels end
funny then, i feel i had a grasp on how and why I'm suffering
burdened with the purpose to protect but I'm a fiend to them 
you show me grace

court

control

is it love
is it fear 
why do i just stand here
i can cut through the masks
see it clear
are they still my friends here

torn to shreds
and pieced back together
lost forever
you're reprieve
dissect me for all my treasures
treat me better
i wont leave

Dissect

made a song about a mental breakdown i had over twitter today lol

lyrics//
you profit off of abuse, then ego acts rash
wonder what the victims think drowning in backlash
i can see the patterns made yards away
i see how i paid for the cards you played

and they're like "how you gonna back that?"
idk bitch, receipts and some screencaps
wondering what all yall see in victims to attack that
wonder where the hate comes from when illusions fade

look at the way that depp is shown as just a victim
abuse is mutual
especially in this system
you erase the people that hurt too cus they're not good enough
i was told that i deserved exploiting how i'm acting up
and acting up nowadays is speaking out
victimhood is nothing i could ever gain from bragging 'bout
people don't like cancel culture cus they have to break all their silence
this ain't real to you, and that view turns to violence

i pour my heart out to the void or more hatred
either or is better than leaving that urge unsated
bait me into a deathtrap
then act like an ally
everyone near me's vultures
my world was all lies

take all your medicine before you see reality
you could never handle your feelings in their totality
begging you on my hands and knees please let all my poisons free
once they see the predators without the masks made accordingly
i'm sure most you bitches would recant if you werent  breaking even
fucking twitter feeds got me freaking waking to sleeping
i'm sorry that i'm so broken 
i'm sorry i never quit
i'm there for myself where nobody wanted to be, that's it.

prescribed medicines

lyrics////////

most of the people round me look at me like i'm a loser
most of the energy you get's lost to abusers
no one seems to see
and those who do lack power
the ones who got the top spots never share the flowers
every taste is sour
i say it with my chest
i said leave this fucking setup
you need bigotry to buck it
while i duck it no stress
disconnect from the rest
and see how far group thought gets individuals
you can push buttons until that shit becomes physical
sometimes you do it without knowing when it's digital
hated your position but the need's subliminal
and we throw morals to the wind on that principle
you could ruin lives with your words on your best days
i'd get paid, reposition for the next play
every second felt like there was nothing to protect me
i gave him tail and got attention in the best way 

i know my actions disavow
but you know how to treat me when in need
i let you take all of that out
and now it's something that we've learned to feed

don't break this
don't leave
i know all your friends better than you believe
he could burn me down
he could put me out

widow

i know all your ammunition
hate that for me
love myself and hate my story
bent for allegiance
bent from grievance
i don't need these expectations
sanction me
i'm so worth breaking
passion to bleeding
mask the fiending

i dont need all of this taken from me
like what?
i messed up to you and you seek blood
wonder what they see in you that stuck
cruelty overshadowed all your bluffs

Distillate

Spiked

listen to my music

22 y/o nb gay artist n musician 

all vocals, lyrics, and instrumentals are by me unless mentioned
(i will credit any samples that are major parts of the song tho)

DM me for features/commissions

Dissect

Ivory Rasmus

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