Lyrics:

God please, teach me how to grow

I got bad habits and good ideas
haphazard when near ideals
subpar, that's the default feel
thusfar I don't know what's real
I imagined my friends hid hate
I'd create what I thought they'd say
Inundate me to altercate
is this really my fate?

I told them that I'd change
I molded to the pain
Land lower than I aim
It always ends the same

I'm never getting saved

kintsugi

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Around It

control

pro tip

made a song about a mental breakdown i had over twitter today lol

lyrics//
you profit off of abuse, then ego acts rash
wonder what the victims think drowning in backlash
i can see the patterns made yards away
i see how i paid for the cards you played

and they're like "how you gonna back that?"
idk bitch, receipts and some screencaps
wondering what all yall see in victims to attack that
wonder where the hate comes from when illusions fade

look at the way that depp is shown as just a victim
abuse is mutual
especially in this system
you erase the people that hurt too cus they're not good enough
i was told that i deserved exploiting how i'm acting up
and acting up nowadays is speaking out
victimhood is nothing i could ever gain from bragging 'bout
people don't like cancel culture cus they have to break all their silence
this ain't real to you, and that view turns to violence

i pour my heart out to the void or more hatred
either or is better than leaving that urge unsated
bait me into a deathtrap
then act like an ally
everyone near me's vultures
my world was all lies

take all your medicine before you see reality
you could never handle your feelings in their totality
begging you on my hands and knees please let all my poisons free
once they see the predators without the masks made accordingly
i'm sure most you bitches would recant if you werent  breaking even
fucking twitter feeds got me freaking waking to sleeping
i'm sorry that i'm so broken 
i'm sorry i never quit
i'm there for myself where nobody wanted to be, that's it.

prescribed medicines

i know all your ammunition
hate that for me
love myself and hate my story
bent for allegiance
bent from grievance
i don't need these expectations
sanction me
i'm so worth breaking
passion to bleeding
mask the fiending

i dont need all of this taken from me
like what?
i messed up to you and you seek blood
wonder what they see in you that stuck
cruelty overshadowed all your bluffs

Distillate

with every new low, rediscover old highs
you lifted yourself up once 
why skip a retry?
got my old rage
and new motivations
all i want is distance, self control and patience

it's not lost on me, i just needed space

run cus you're mad
return when you're sad
how much of you do they have?
break off and dont go back

they got queer kids in their crosshairs 
and their deaths never make the news
i live every second building upwards
and i'll use that just to ensure that you lose
tell me that the dreams dead cus you want it to be
i failed the way they designed
couldnt feel safe with myself 
tried to improve it with time

peerless, led to crosshairs
would my death ever make the news?
we lived every second building up hatred 
i can see it in all of your views
wishing that a dream's dead cus you need it to be
fell out of what they designed
trauma wont dictate my path
removed for how i align

with every new low, rediscover old highs
you lifted yourself up once 
why skip a retry?
got my old rage
and new motivations
all i want is distance, self control and patience

saw the patterns before everyone else
i gave em warnings, didnt matter, i'd offend when i'd tell
i can feel subtext from miles away
doesnt matter, to this day i'm still turned into prey
with no chance

run cus you're mad
return when you're sad
how much of you do they have?
break off and dont go back

Excuse

lyrics:

told all my friends i disappeared for a new energy
tried to break the silence
always made more enemies
worsen while improving
oxymoron entropy
fought off all the demons
phantom pain is everything

i'm sorry for the ways i've wronged you
i tried too hard to be less cold 
i'd normally break down in the distance
now rage always has a hold
i'm trying so hard to better for you
i know that there's someone better for you
you wouldn't deal with the shit that i do
it's devastatingly true

i know it's hard sometimes
but i can't get out of this state of mind
wish i could say i'm fine
without feeling like i'm lying
you take over
you take over

was i ever worth it
do i deserve this
is this the karma for me when young n imperfect
i guess i earned it
i guess i'll bow down
and meet the earth until we're one
this is my purchase
i need a clear soul
not a clear image
i dug my own grave
but i'm not in it
i'll fight tooth and fucking nail till i'm forgiven
know i'm never gonna fail
there's just this one thing
and i'll lose for it
i could die for it
this is more than fucking drama you killed life for us
and i'd like if someone really heard me right for once
everytime i fucking breathe bitches light me up
n i knew before it
that was new for this
normally the people targeted arent piping up
i said no to lying down but i ran low on luck
i could hate my decision but know that that shit's for the best

Orange

i made a song out of my song titles 

i fear Holding Back
i fear Avarice
i fear Wrath from them
that's the half of it
i'm a secret friend
Ira's Alibis
fear What I've Become
at least in their eyes
Is It Me
Is It You
default as scapegoats for each Excuse
Fell Apart
low Supply
All I Want for this is it to come to life
Pro Tip
Live In Dreams
move through Clouds like all Friction had's unseen
Blurred Streaks on blank panes
As They Burn they see the point of these Games
 
practice Kintsugi
not the art but the thought trait 
broken mental, bitch i made my way Around It
got Wings and I flew up to my god state
called the Sequence of events and i was grounded
repeated Atmosphere, i feel Paralysis
i'm always Weird to them, so i'm used to callousness
see their patterns Drawn
and all the Danger near
I feel the Vitriol 
I'm Dissapating here

I'M "PRESCRIBED MEDICINES" AND THEY'VE PUT ME THROUGH HELL
BUT I'M WORSE OFF WITHOUT EM
I'LL FIGHT THIS MYSELF
I'D RATHER HAVE MY "CONTROL", HUMAN TOLLS
ALL THAT HELPS
I'LL PICK ME UP BY THE "PIECES"
WITHOUT WHAT YOU SELL
I SEE THE "CRIMSON" AND "PURPLE"
THE MARKS THAT THEY LEAVE
AND ALL THE WHILE TRY TO GRIEVE WHAT THEY'VE TAKEN FROM ME
"CANT SEE SHIT" BUT MY BURDENS AND TURNS IN MY HEALTH
I SAW STORIES IN TRAUMA 
AND FLIPPED THEM TO HELP

Timeline

snapped for my first song of the year

lyrics:

i dont even need your love 
i dont even need your grace 
all of us are broken here
tell me why we're saving face
i wont bend to save myself
changing up for them wont help
beat on me because i fall
strive to see me hit that wall

covert, concealed it
mask so well these bitches never know how ive been feeling
break apart and scream it from the roof, i know no ceiling
one in million chance they dont grow hateful, i'll reveal it
coded language, feel it
coded me when i was better than you fucks could ever be
envy bleeds to entropy
tell me how youre straight and say how gay to be
face me please and say your piece

i'm a real person
real worth it
real hurt
real bitter
real imperfect
take my mask off
find more there
peel layers back
no one's in there 
see my questions like your weapons
these are tools that we built for dissection
we can make up
you fought unfair
turned my back once and felt crosshairs

take it all and run from me 
i know what you've planned 
what was done's for dirt to see
lungs are full of sand
shallow as the grave
nothing ever changed
you destroyed me

we see your feelings
i'm an open book yet you said argument's revealing
gaslight till i shake and say that i'm too far to deal with
kick me out just like our other friends, 
won't let you heal it
coded till it seals it
coded me till i was cornered in a way you'll never be
envy bleeds to enemies
give us all a show and drop the face you need
space the pleas and rage you feed

Covert, Concealed

All 4 U

i feel like luupy
i feel like ive been fucking tired of the groupies
i feel like all you little bitches want to lose me
i feel like everybody's out here tryna screw me
i know they're mad cus they've been trying to outdo me
i know i'm sad cus all the ties im stuck with losing
i point the finger and they're sitting saying "who, me?"
i got vendettas and barettas, please

i know my close friends think im fucking smothering
i'm gonna kill myself and leave you bitches wondering
i point the finger cus i can't decide who's governing
past lives pass knives onto veins i'm cutting in
i see the patterns painted till i'm just another in
i see the ladders climbed and i decide to fall
i see an obstacle and make that shit a wall
and all you wonder why they unvite from calls

this is my note
this is me sticking a knife through my throat
this is me taking it out cus u gloat
this is me breaking from pressure from ghosts
i am a fool to the cool in their eyes
i am a tool to be tossed to the side
i am a
i am a

wait
i am despised
i see me speak and you rolling your eyes
i see my happiness push you aside
i see through faces what's hidden inside
i see me break in a way that you love
i see you climb till it's death from above
i see the knife you'll use when there's enough
cant fix the vacancy with just a hug

I Feel Loopy ft. TWINWOLVES

listen to my music

22 y/o nb gay artist n musician 

all vocals, lyrics, and instrumentals are by me unless mentioned
(i will credit any samples that are major parts of the song tho)

DM me for features/commissions

Excuse

Ivory Rasmus

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