Gaslight

Sun (Summer Version)

1991 is for the moments we can never get back but will always hold close. A reminder of what it was like to love without fear and live without hesitation. A love letter to the past. 

1991

The alarm clock’s ringing but I don’t care,
Got your sleepy smile tangled in your hair.
The sunlight paints us golden through the blinds,
And I’m so thankful, love, that you are mine.
So precious so sweet, my beautiful moonshine.


Your eyes are the morning I wanna see,
Your kiss is the coffee that wakes up me.
Don’t need the world, don’t need the news,
All I need is lying here with you.
Just tender kisses and warming hugs.
All I need, so thankful, just lay next to you


Let’s stay lazy forever,
Wrapped up in this songs together.
Sharing melodies, and our lips so sweet,
Hearts in rhythm, soft heartbeat.
Time can wait, let’s drift away,
In your arms is where I’ll stay.


You sang a song so soft, so cute,
And love, I melted right into you.
Like an angel whispering through the air,
Every note said I’ll be there.
We trade our favorites  beneath the sheets,
You hum the tune, I sing the harmony.


Your laughter’s the sunrise I long to hear,
Your whisper’s the music that pulls me near.
No clock, no rules, no plans, no rush,
Just your voice, your kiss, your touch.


Let’s stay lazy forever,
Wrapped up in this songs together.
Sharing melodies, lips so sweet,
Hearts in rhythm, soft heartbeat.
Time can wait, let’s drift away,
In your arms is where I’ll stay.


If hunger calls, we’ll rise and go,
But I’ll still be singing soft and low.
Every little kiss, each breath, each sigh,
Turns this bed into paradise.


Let’s stay lazy forever,
Making each small moment better.
No place to be, no world outside,
Please make this day last forever,
Just your love and endless time.
If this is life, I’ll take no more
I found my heaven on our bedroom floor.

Sunday morning


Yidan, my dear, my love, 
this one is for you,
Yidan, my girl, my sweet love,
once more once more
in the eternity, I love you, I  love you so


I used to wake with an empty hand,
Chasing dreams across the land.
Thought you were hidden behind the stars,
But you were waiting, not that far.
Not in the sky, not on the moon,
I found your smile, it came so soon.
Now every night, I hold you close,
The search is over, I’ve found my home.


Across the street, I found your face,
Your gentle love, my resting place.
Those lips I dreamed, I’ve kissed at last,
The lonely miles are in the past.
No more journeys on my own,
I’ve found my heart, I’ve found my home.


Yidan, your name’s my sweetest song,
It’s been your voice I’ve craved so long.
Every “goodnight” now feels so real,
Every sunrise shows me what I feel.
I drive for hours just to be near,
But every mile’s worth it, my dear.
The road was long, but now it’s clear,
I walk with you, no more fear.


Across the street, I found your face,
Your gentle love, my resting place.
Those lips I dreamed, I’ve kissed at last,
The lonely miles are in the past.
No more journeys on my own,
I’ve found my heart, I’ve found my home.


All of the nights I wished on stars,
Led me to where your arms now are.
The waiting taught me how to see,
The greatest gift was meant for me.
And now I know, through all I’ve done,
My journey ends — you are the one.


Across the street, I found your face,
Your gentle love, my resting place.
Those lips I dreamed, I’ve kissed at last,
The lonely miles are in the past.
No more journeys on my own,
I’ve found my heart, I’ve found my home.


Yidan, my girl, my sweet love,
once more once more... 
in the eternity, I love you, I  love you so...
So here we lie, the night is kind,
Your hand in mine, your breath on mine.
And when the morning sun will rise,
I’ll see forever in your eyes.
No more searching, no more roam,
With you, my love, I’m finally home

Our Journey

We wake up laughing at the smallest things,
The way your hair falls, the songs your voice sings.
We like the same colors, the same silly shows,
Even pick the same snacks when nobody knows.
Sometimes we speak and it’s the same exact line,
A little déjà vu, and your hand finds mine.
It’s magic or luck, maybe fate in disguise,
Every glance, every smile, a new surprise.


No masks, no fronts, just who we are,
Best friends, lovers, shining like stars.


You and me, it’s the little things we do,
The quiet smiles, the jokes only we knew.
Youthful hearts, playful souls intertwined,
All our love, all our laughter, perfectly aligned.
You and me, a forever kind of story,
A million tiny moments that shine in their glory.


We trust like we’ve known each other for years,
Sharing secrets, hopes, and even tiny fears.
Sometimes we sit, just doing nothing at all,
But in that silence, we hear love’s call.
We run through the rain, giggle like kids,
Steal each other’s fries, trade little lids.
Romantic and silly, serious and free,
Every day reminds me you were made for me.


No shame, no fear, just our hearts open wide,
All the worlds we’ve traveled, all the times we’ve tried.


You and me, it’s the little things we do,
The quiet smiles, the jokes only we knew.
Youthful hearts, playful souls intertwined,
All our love, all our laughter, perfectly aligned.
You and me, a forever kind of story,
A million tiny moments that shine in their glory.


Best friends, sweethearts, lovers, all at once,
In every laugh, in every hug, in every glance.
We can be nothing or everything, it’s true,
Because the best world I know is just me and you.


You and me, it’s the little things we do,
Every song, every bite, every “I love you.”
Youthful hearts, playful souls intertwined,
All our love, all our laughter, perfectly aligned.
You and me, a forever kind of story,
A million tiny moments that shine in their glory.


So here we are, just as we should be,
Two hearts, one story, endlessly.
You and me, my love, my friend, my light,
Together in every day, and every night.

You And Me

I see you there, the sunlight hits your hair,
A little laugh escapes, and I just stare.
Every blink, a frame in a perfect scene,
You’re the highlight reel of my every dream.
You tilt your head, a shy little grin,
I say it soft, again and again:
“You’re beautiful,” like it’s the only line I know,
And you blush, but I love that gentle glow.


You roll your eyes, you say, “That’s not true,”
But I swear, my heart only beats for you.


Oh, you are beautiful, don’t you see?
Every time I look, you amaze me endlessly.
Smile a little shy, hide behind your hair,
I’ll say it a thousand times if you let me stare.
You make the world brighter just by being near,
And when I tell you, I hope you hear:
You are beautiful, my Yidan, it’s true,
Every word, every glance, every “I love you.”


In the café line, or walking down the street,
Every little thing about you makes my heart skip a beat.
Your laugh, your frown, your silly little ways,
I could watch you for hours and still be amazed.
You hide your face, but I catch your smile,
And it turns every moment worthwhile.
“You make me happy,” you softly admit,
And I know my words are your favorite bit.


You shake your head, but your eyes reveal,
Even the tiniest doubt can’t hide what you feel.


Oh, you are beautiful, don’t you see?
Every time I look, you amaze me endlessly.
Smile a little shy, hide behind your hair,
I’ll say it a thousand times if you let me stare.
You make the world brighter just by being near,
And when I tell you, I hope you hear:
You are beautiful, my Yidan, it’s true,
Every word, every glance, every “I love you.”


Mirror, mirror, could you ever know,
The magic you reflect just makes my heart grow?
Every “beautiful” I whisper, every “cute” I say,
Is my little spell to keep you smiling every day.


Oh, you are beautiful, don’t you see?
Every glance, every laugh, you enchant me endlessly.
I’ll tell you now, and I’ll tell you again,
Every single day, until the world ends.
You are beautiful, my E-dan, my star,
Every word, every kiss, you’re my heart’s radar.


So smile shyly, roll your eyes, hide if you must,
I’ll keep saying it, in every breath, in every trust.
You are beautiful, don’t ever doubt,
It’s my favorite thing in the world to shout.

You Are Beautiful

Once I thought I was nothing at all,
Shadows too heavy, too broken to crawl.
Every mirror showed a hollow man,
But your hand reached through, said I can.

You built me up with patience and time,
Each gentle word turned the weakness to mine.
Day by day, conviction grew,
Every dawn was a gift from you.

Now I’m stronger, stronger than I’ve ever been,
With your love burning under my skin.
Stronger, no fear in my bones,
With you I have found a place called home.

I used to stumble, afraid to fight,
You taught me courage in the darkest night.
I want to be the man you deserve,
To carry your heart with a steady nerve.

I’ll be the shield, I’ll be the flame,
I’ll take the weight, I’ll take the pain.
Every promise, I’ll make it true,
I’ll spend my strength just to honor you.

Now I’m stronger, stronger than the storms I’ve known,
With your love, I will never be alone.
Stronger, the man you saw inside,
With you forever, I’ll walk with pride.

Now I’m stronger… because you stayed,
I’ll love you fiercely, till the end of days.
Now I’m stronger… because I need to be the one.
Now I’m stronger… for you, for us, the stronger one...

Stronger

You laugh and I’m undone,
Like sugar melting in the sun,
You say my name and I could swear,
The stars start cooking in the air.
You walk by  gravity’s lost,
Every breath I pay the cost,
It’s not food that I adore,
It’s you I’m starving for.

I’ve tried to fill it, I’ve tried to hide,
This endless craving locked inside,
But every glance just feeds the flame,
And every night I taste your name.

I’m hungry not for bread or wine,
But for your soul tangled with mine,
A hunger no meal could define,
Sweet as sin, divine by design.
You’re my feast, my favorite sin,
Every kiss pulls me deeper in,
And even full, I’ll want again 
This hunger never ends.

Your touch is like a lightning spark,
A constellation in the dark,
The way you smile the way you speak,
You make the universe feel weak.

It’s not the taste, it’s the afterglow,
The way your warmth begins to grow,
Like stars exploding, wild and true,
My endless hunger points to you.

I’ve had enough of everything else,
But you keep bending time itself,
One look and I’m consumed again,
No start, no stop, no where, no when.

I’m hungry  not for bread or wine,
But for your soul tangled with mine,
A hunger no meal could define,
Sweet as sin, divine by design.
You’re my feast, my favorite sin,
Every kiss pulls me deeper in,
And even full, I’ll want again 
This hunger never ends.

They say desire fades with time,
But ours rewrites the laws, the lines,
Like black holes pulling light to stay,
You draw my reason all away.

I’m hungry and it’s no crime,
To crave you more than space and time,
A taste that even stars confide,
They burn for what we hide.
You’re my endless appetite,
The universe within my sight,
And if love’s a meal, then every night 
I’ll never stop, I’ll never bite.
No plate, no cure, no end in sight,
Just us  the flame, the dark, the light

Hunger

Don’t Matter sheds light on mental health. Many of us suffer from depression and anxiety but we don’t have a platform to talk about it. I wrote this song to share my story in hopes to inspire you to share yours too. Join me in spreading awareness.

Hunger

J. Ash Dusk