The End of Me

It Is Foolish to Dream
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

It is foolish to dream
When nothing good's coming true
To revisit old schemes
Relive delusions anew
I get only so far 
and return to my world
one where all news are bad
just to breathe makes me sad

[instrumental]

It does not matter where
Alone in my room
I go out where it's warm
Walk around with no goal
I thought I knew where to go
I had some destination
But there's no one I know
I cannot ask the question

[instrumental]

I want someone to talk to
Someone to listen
I want to say "Go away"
"Leave me alone"
But I hope they will linger
Put up with my madness
Stick around till I'm sane
So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

[instrumental]

I look out my window
Pretty high in the sky
Gives me lot of ideas
Some are good, some are bad
I love the fresh air
And the wind in my hair
I don't care if I die
I sure wish I could fly

[instrumental]

It is foolish to dream
Just do what you gotta
One foot then the other
One guy then another
Empty cans in the sink
The TV on the blink
My bed ain't been made
Just a hopeless parade

[instrumental]

I want someone to talk to
Someone to listen
I want to say "Go away"
"Leave me alone"
But I hope they will linger
Put up with my madness
Stick around till I'm sane
So I can take the blame

[instrumental]

So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

[outro]

It Is Foolish to Dream

The Note
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
Yes, this is what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[verse]
I don't want to stick around
And see everything go bad
I will never feel that much better
I won't be able to run faster
I won't write a great new song
And bit by bit and day by day
all my systems 
will go wrong

[verse]
I don't have any complaints
Not for you, but some for me
Things were always pretty good
Always shelter, always food
I cared about you all, 
You did well, I'm satisfied
Now its time for the last call
And its for me to take the fall

And its for me to take the fall

[verse]
I could have done a little better
I could have tried a little harder
You can blame me if you missed out
Or if I wasn't always there
Don't you think I did not care
I did so then and I do now
Sometimes I am a little unaware
Get caught up in my own thing
But that's me, 
I take the blame

[verse]
Yes, this is what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[instrumental]

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

[outro]

The Note

The Note
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
It is just what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[verse]
I don't want to stick around
And see everything go bad
I won't be feeling any better
I won't be moving any faster
I won't write a great new song
And bit by bit and day by day
all my systems 
will go wrong

[verse]
I don't have any complaints
Not for you, but some for me
Things were always pretty good
Always shelter, always food
I cared about you all, 
You did well, I'm satisfied
Now its time for the last call
And its for me to take the fall

And its for me to take the fall

[verse]
I could have done a little better
I could have tried a little harder
You can blame me if you missed out
Or if I wasn't always there
Don't you think I did not care
I did so then and I do now
Sometimes I am a little unaware
Get caught up in my own thing
But that's me, 
I take the blame

[verse]
It is just what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[instrumental]

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

[outro]

The Note (same note)

Cyanide and 50K
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
Is that enough, or just O K
It is a game I learnt today
A game the big boys play

A game to play before you die
When there is nothing left to hide
Any night, it is alright
You just don't want to stay

[verse]
Given time we all get here
We all find nothing that is dear
We all find it was a game
We all lose, there is no shame
I would have thought that this was clear
Soon you are gone, you die in fear

aahhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
boo
BOO!

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
All it is, it's just a game
Must be insane
When you see lights
Are filled with fright

When spirits talk to you
And chairs jump and then say boo
When you think you know the truth
With a worm inside your brain
Get on the track, wait for the train
With a worm inside your brain
Get on the track, wait for the train

[instrumental]

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
That's all it is, 
it's just a game
You can pick one, 
or pick them both
It does not matter
You just won

[verse]
Cyanide is such a rush
And 50K, it ain't that much
You can stay and play again
You can pay or take the train

Look around, they all look back
People standing at your back
Everyone is now in line
But go ahead, and take your time

Cyanide and 50K
No need to worry, no need to hurry
No one can lose, it is ideal
But when you choose
It feels so real

Cyanide and 50K

Cyanide and 50K

Cyanide and 50K

[outro]

Cyanide and 50K

[intro]

[verse]
The rope cares nothing about your mother, 
lover, sister, father, brother
The rope tightens, bit by bit, 
and the bits are coming faster
The end is coming very soon, 
it offers nothing but disaster

[verse]
The rope is always so much worse, 
the noose is hurting like a curse
You cannot offer any bribes
there are no threats that will survive

[verse]
The rope, it keeps on moving
it knows nothing about forgiving
It cares nothing about your life, 
about your death, about your wife
There is nothing you can say
your throat is pinched,
your tongue, too big, gets in the way

[instrumental]

[verse]
Your eyes bulge, the rope moves on
Your body shakes, the rope moves on
Your feet, they vainly search, 
look for the chair you stood on
The rope moves on

[verse]
Is there nothing you can do?
Will someone save you in the end?
But no, the rope won't bend
It's not your friend

[verse]
When you have run out of rope
you will not care, you will not feel
Everything here will be unreal
Your feet will no longer dance, 
they will no longer have a chance
You once thought it was a thrill
After this, they will be still
What might have been is what you killed

[verse]
What were you thinking?
You now forget
Was it a bet, was there much pain, 
was it for love, too dark a stain?
Why can't the rope just wait, 
give you a minute to explain?

[verse]
You've changed your mind
You were just kidding
The rope will break, it cannot be,
it was a test, a big mistake
How can any of this be fair, 
you body spinning in the air

[verse]
The lights grow dim
You thought there would be truth,
a final answer, 
a recounting of your youth
You thought you'd have a chance,
a little time to tell them why, 
you'd say goodbye

[verse]
It does not matter, there is no more
Nothing will-be just like before
But you won't know after you go
So what's your point, what does this show?

[verse]
The rope is all there is and  
its length measures your life  
but it cannot be the sum  
Think again, look at your son,
speak to your wife
If not for them, for someone else
If not yourself, then for a cause
Is there a reason to live on?
Will nothing give you pause?

[instrumental]

[verse]
If the answer is always no,
maybe you're right
and it is truly time to go

[verse]
It is clearly your decision
You don't have to talk to me
and you don't need my permission
I only want you to be sure
This is the final step
and it is one step too many
Once you step off from the chair...

[verse]
I'll be here, call again
I have the time, so do you
We can talk the whole night through
I won't pretend to be your friend
But I care, I really do
I'll say goodnight 
and hope to speak to you again

[instrumental]

[outro]

[verse]
Operator standing by

[instrumental interlude]

[end]


End of the Rope

Holding Firm
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
I look across the street
At friends I never meet
I see their children in their yard
Mine long grown and not around
My wife, she knew them better
But she's left for better weather

Alone inside I drowse 
Or roam what was our house
Each room I check, open each door
Don't step inside, don't want to see
My rounds end in the garage
That beam that held up things for me
It hangs useless on the ceiling
My step falters, My mind is reeling

The ladder she used to paint our walls
I always feared that she would fall
It stands now, out in the middle
Its purpose now is not a riddle

The rope I used when trimming branches
Hangs down, one end in reach
With both hands I yank
and it holds firm
Not like my life
About to turn

[pause]

To turn, to turn
To spin around
To look for purchase 
None to be found
To turn, to turn
To spin around
To spin around

[instrumental]

The rope I used when trimming branches
Hangs down, one end in reach
With both hands I yank
and it holds firm
Not like my life
About to turn

[pause]

To turn, to turn
To spin around
To look for purchase 
None to be found
To turn, to turn
To spin around

To spin around

To spin around

To turn and spin around

[instrumental]

[outro]

Holding Firm

(non ai, by klark jackson)

[Verse 1]
She moves where time forgets its flow,
Leaves behind a trail that glows
I’m still learning what she said,
She’s already two steps ahead.

[Chorus]
She’s two steps ahead of the dawn,
I blink and the color is gone,
Her laughter rings inside my head,
I’m still half-asleep—she’s fled.

Two steps ahead of the flame,
Drifting through worlds with no name,
I can’t touch her, can’t forget—
She’s the rhythm I can’t catch yet.

[Verse 2]
She paints the air in shifting hues,
A prism breaks where she moves,
Every glance a twisted spell,
A dream I almost knew too well.
I chase the lines where fate once led—
But she’s already two steps ahead.

[Chorus]
She’s two steps ahead of the dawn,
I blink and the color is gone,
Her laughter rings inside my head,
I’m still half-asleep—she’s fled.

Two steps ahead of the flame,
Drifting through worlds with no name,
I can’t touch her, can’t forget—
She’s the rhythm I can’t catch yet.

[outro]
I’m still learning what she said,
She’s already two steps ahead.
I chase the lines where fate once led—
But she’s already two steps ahead.










two steps ahead

Someone to Sing the Blues
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
I am looking for a woman
Someone to sing the blues
Someone who made a choice
And had something to loose

[verse]
I don't want a story told
by a spiteful twelve year old
I don't want to hear the blues
Because they scuffed their brand new shoes

[verse]
I am looking for a woman
For whom things did not go well
Someone who's had a life
And has something she can tell

[verse]
I don't want to hear hysteria
About the food and cafeteria
Or about their last boyfriend
Who is about to now turn ten

[verse]
I want someone I can believe
Who tells it like it is
Someone to help me grieve
For this life I have to live

[verse]
I don't care about the scars
The lift left on their ass
Or the tragedy it was
When their boyfriend missed a pass

[verse]
Give me something real
From someone who can feel
Someone who's had to kneel
And beg for their last meal

[instrumental]

[verse]
I don't want a story told
by a spiteful twelve year old
I don't want to hear the blues
Because they scuffed their brand new shoes

[verse]
I don't want to hear hysteria
About the food and cafeteria
Or about their last boyfriend
Who is about to now turn ten

[verse]
I don't care about the scars
The lift left on their ass
Or the tragedy it was
When their boyfriend missed a pass

[pause]


[verse]
I am looking for a woman
Someone to sing the blues
Someone who made a choice
And had something to loose

[verse]
I am looking for a woman
For whom things did not go well
Someone who's had a life
And has something she can tell

[verse]
I want someone I can believe
Who tells it like it is
Someone to help me grieve
For this life I have to live

[verse]
Give me something real
From someone who can feel
Someone who's had to kneel
And beg for their last meal

[instrumental]


[outro]



Someone to Sing the Blues

“To the Broken Hearts” drifts through the haze of a late-night bar, where time slows and memories linger in the glow of fading lights. It’s a quiet tribute to those who’ve loved deeply, lost bravely, and still find comfort in an old song echoing through the smoke. With a tender storyteller’s voice, it celebrates the poets, dreamers, and ghosts who never stop singing — a bittersweet reminder that even heartbreak can hum with warmth.

„To the Broken Hearts“ schwebt durch den Nebel einer langen Nacht in der Bar – dort, wo die Zeit stillzustehen scheint und Erinnerungen in weichem Licht glühen. Es ist eine leise Hommage an all jene, die tief geliebt, mutig verloren und Trost in einem alten Lied gefunden haben. Mit der Stimme eines Geschichtenerzählers feiert der Song Poeten, Träumer und Geister, die nie aufhören zu singen – eine bittersüße Erinnerung daran, dass selbst gebrochene Herzen noch Wärme tragen können.

To the broken hearts

Smoke curls slow above the crowd
I watch their eyes, the quiet, proud
The jukebox sighs, the lights grow dim
I play a song they used to sing

A girl in red just stirs her glass
Her eyes reflect what used to pass
She smiles as if the years don’t show
Just sways to songs from long ago

An old man hums, his voice worn thin
Says, “They don’t write songs like that again”

Play me one more for the broken hearts
For the poets, for the late-night starts
For the lovers who still dare to care
In the last piano bar somewhere
Oh, play it soft, play it true
For the ghosts who sing along with you

I play for tips and broken dreams
For whispered lies and second schemes
And somewhere in the sound I find
The better parts I left behind

The keys grow tired, the crowd moves on
But music stays when life is gone
It fills the cracks the years create
And hums that love can’t come too late

Play me one more for the broken hearts
For the poets, for the late-night starts
For the lovers who still dare to care
In the last piano bar somewhere
Oh, play it soft, play it true
For the ghosts who sing along with you

And now let the record spin again
Four friends, one song, and no amen
Just the echo through the stars
From the last piano bar


To the broken hearts

The Gray Fuzzy Middle
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[chorus]
With empathy declining
and guilt fading away
Does it matter what you do
Does it matter what you say

[pause]

[verse]
At one end there are the saints
The kind of people we are not
Those for whom all others matter 
and never have forgot
The help they have received
From where it came and what they got

[pause]

[verse]
At the other end the monsters
The kind we hope that we are not
Those who care only for themselves
Who must win above all else
Who believe they did it all
The whole world in their control

[pause]

[verse]
In between is where we are
Near the good or much too far
In that gray fuzzy middle
Where we don't know who we are

Where we balance every day
What we want, with what we pay
Where we must matter more
But how much more, 

Not that much
Not so much more

Not so much more

Not so much more

[instrumental]

[chorus]
With empathy declining
and guilt fading away
Does it matter what you do
Does it matter what you say

[pause]

[verse]
In between is where we are
Near the good or much too far
In that gray fuzzy middle
Where we don't know who we are

Where we balance every day
What we want, with what we pay
Where we must matter more
But how much more, 

Not that much
Not so much more

[chorus]
With empathy declining
and guilt fading away
Does it matter what you do
Does it matter what you say

[instrumental]

Not that much
Not so much more
Not so much more
Not so much more

[outro]

[Arrangement]
Laid-back drums and deep, reverb-soaked bass establish a relaxed groove. 
Tremolo-laden guitar lines weave through each verse, highlighted by expressive blues bends and fuzzy solos. 
The bridge’s vintage synth layers build a dreamy feel, dissolving into a slow, hypnotic outro.



The Gray Fuzzy Middle (bluesy)

I write the lyrics; Mr. Alfonso Suno composes the music.  Working with the lovely Ms. Ai Ongaku, they create the arrangements.  Ms. Ongaku and her crowd are responsible for the performances.  My part in creating these tracks is very small. Nonetheless, I am to blame.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

It Is Foolish to Dream

I and Ai

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