The End of Me

Can Find Her Feet
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[harmonica]

She woke up in the rain,
same old cold, same old pain
It was dark, she groped around
She was laying on wet ground

She don't remember it too clearly
Last night she got here late
She was waiting for a coat
They ran out, she had to wait

[instrumental]

She was looking for a spot
But this hole is all she got
Wrapped up in garbage bags
She lay dressed in some old rags

Her hip is aching, she can't move
She has to go, but cannot stand
She is laying in her filth
No one cares to lend a hand

[harmonica]

Time passes, she fades out
She looks again, the sun is out
She sees people packing up
Someone said they saw the cops

She better go, they don't like her
They could just let her be
Her time will come right soon enough
She won't last long sleeping rough

[instrumental]

There is frost upon the ground
Too much pain to make a sound
She bites her sleeve, buries her face
How did she get here to this place

Can't feel her feet, 
they ain't around
Can't stand up, 
they can't be found

[instrumental]

Time passes, she fades out
She look again, the sun is out
She sees people packing up
Someone said they saw the cops

She better go, they don't like her
They could just let her be
Her time will come right soon enough
She won't last long sleeping rough

There is frost upon the ground
Too much pain to make a sound
She bites her sleeve, buries her face
How did she get here to this place

Can't feel her feet, 
they ain't around
Can't stand up, 
they can't be found

[instrumental]

There is frost upon the ground
Too much pain to make a sound
She bites her sleeve, buries her face
How did she get here to this place

Can't feel her feet, 
they ain't around
Can't stand up, 
they can't be found

[outro]


Can't Find Her Feet

Fade Away
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[instrumental]

Marie my dear old friend
don't look away, no don't pretend
Yes, it's me behind these eyes,
it's good to see you in the end.

They say I lost control,
my life did not go well.
My habits took their toll
and I could not break their spell

I am not asking you for money
and you don't need to stay too long
Just sit with me a while
and we will sing that same old song

[instrumental]

It's the one you sang to me
It was your favorite that first day
On that day I could not see
there was no chance that you would stay

Once they told me you were gone
I lost the will to carry on
I left my home, I lost my place
I made sure I left no trace

I walked for years with no hope
and in time forgot the song
Time passed and I grew old
and too tired to go home

[instrumental]

Now look at me, there's not much left
I am smaller every day
My thoughts are slow and very few
I only wish to fade away

[outro]

Now look at me, there's not much left
I am smaller every day
My thoughts are slow and very few
I only wish to fade away

I only wish to fade away

fade away......

[instrumental]


Fade Away

I Want to Live in a Van
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[Intro]

[Verse]
I want to live in a van
One that needs some repair
I just want a tin can
I want the walls to be bare

[Verse]
I can sleep in the park
I can sit there and stare
I want to lay on the ground
when no one is there

[Verse]
I don't want to be found
or for someone to care
I like moving around
But I am going nowhere

[Verse]
I want out of the rain
I want someplace to stay
To read books at night
To sleep in the day

[Verse]
I don't have any dreams
A few memories that haunt
I have tried to go home
But I know that I can't

[Verse]
You could bring me some food
A coat and some pants
I could use some new tires
That is all that I want

[01:34]
[Guitar Solo]
[02:05]

[Verse]
I don't want to be found
or for someone to care
I like moving around
But I am going nowhere

[Verse]
I want out of the rain
I want someplace to stay
To read books at night
To sleep in the day

[Verse]
I don't have any dreams
A few memories that haunt
I have tried to go home
But I know that I can't

[Verse]
You could bring me some food
A coat and some pants
I could use some new tires
That is all that I want

[piano Solo]

[verse]

I could use some new tires
That is all that I want

That is all that I want

[Outro]

I Want to Live in a Van

An Orange on the Loose
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey


[intro]

[instrumental]

Not one who needs convincing
Not one who is unsure
I am looking for the maniacs
For whom there is no cure

I want the true believers
The ones with fire in their eyes
Ice in all their veins
Those that you might call insane

I want the true born killers
Those without any control
Like missiles preprogrammed
Those who never had a soul

These missions have one purpose
To return is not considered
It is when you kill and die
That you truly have succeeded

[instrumental]

It is best if you have hate
If you do it for yourself
Do some damage, up the count
Put an orange on your shelf

If you think you have the nature
We will find for you the tools
We will give you the right skills
We will train you how to kill

You can fight on the right side
You can go to war with pride
It is time for you to choose
There's an orange on the loose

[instrumental]

If you think you have the nature
We will find for you the tools
We will give you the right skills
We will train you how to kill

You can fight on the right side
You can go to war with pride
It is time for you to choose
There's an orange on the loose

You can stay and fight with pride
Or you can run away and hide
It is time to decide
It is time to decide

There's an orange on the loose

There's an orange on the loose

[outro]

An Orange on the Loose

Don't Get Caught
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

We were hoping for salvation
We had tried to play the game
No justice in this nation
Only rules money and fame

We were looking for a leader
We were hoping for direction
We forgot to plug the meter
And the cops got our attention

[instrumental]

We rode with no control
With no exit but small holes
We were going to their lair
After that we had no prayer

It was a time of shameless fear
It was a place you disappear
These are monsters born and bred
And they never shed a tear

[instrumental]

They bound us with their steel
And trapped us in their cages
With no water then too much
With reality lost touch

We were kept in filthy holes
They ripped away our souls
They said they were the law
Whose law we never saw

[instrumental]

The law changes every day
Used against you every way
Those in power can ignore it
You can only hope and pray

This is what they call justice
In this land there are no free
Pretty soon they'll come for you
They already came for me

[instrumental]

The law changes every day
Used against you every way
Those in power can ignore it
You can only hope and pray

This is what they call justice
In this land there are no free
Pretty soon they'll come for you
They already came for me

They already came for me

They already came for me

[outro]

Don't Get Caught

It Is Foolish to Dream
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

It is foolish to dream
When nothing good's coming true
To revisit old schemes
Relive delusions anew
I get only so far 
and return to my world
one where all news are bad
just to breathe makes me sad

[instrumental]

It does not matter where
Alone in my room
I go out where it's warm
Walk around with no goal
I thought I knew where to go
I had some destination
But there's no one I know
I cannot ask the question

[instrumental]

I want someone to talk to
Someone to listen
I want to say "Go away"
"Leave me alone"
But I hope they will linger
Put up with my madness
Stick around till I'm sane
So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

[instrumental]

I look out my window
Pretty high in the sky
Gives me lot of ideas
Some are good, some are bad
I love the fresh air
And the wind in my hair
I don't care if I die
I sure wish I could fly

[instrumental]

It is foolish to dream
Just do what you gotta
One foot then the other
One guy then another
Empty cans in the sink
The TV on the blink
My bed ain't been made
Just a hopeless parade

[instrumental]

I want someone to talk to
Someone to listen
I want to say "Go away"
"Leave me alone"
But I hope they will linger
Put up with my madness
Stick around till I'm sane
So I can take the blame

[instrumental]

So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

So I can take the blame

[outro]

It Is Foolish to Dream

I Am the Rider
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

I have no money in my pocket
I gave it all away
They took it from my hands
I don't know what they said

I ride the bus around all day
With some stops along the way
In the middle of the night
I am home and I'm alright

[chorus]
I am the rider
They all know
I am part of the machine
I keep the back end clean
I step out of the way
Give up my seat 
Sometimes I get a treat

[instrumental]

The bus is nice, 
it is quiet and it's clean
It's cleaner than my room
Best place that I have seen

I should be happy, still alive
They once said, I'd not survive
But here I am riding home
Where I live, now all alone

[chorus]
I am the rider
They all know
I am part of the machine
I keep the back end clean
I step out of the way
Give up my seat 
Sometimes I get a treat

[instrumental]

The driver knows me well
He knows that I'll behave
He will wake me at the end
Sometimes give me spare change

Tomorrow I'll be there
I'll get on paying no fare
The inspector is aware
So no, I am not scared

[chorus]
I am the rider
They all know
I am part of the machine
I keep the back end clean
I step out of the way
Give up my seat 
Sometimes I get a treat

[instrumental]

I am the rider
I am the rider

Sometimes I get a treat
Sometimes I get a treat

I am the rider
I am the rider

[outro]


I Am the Rider

Don't Come Around
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

I live in a big place
It is far too big for me
But I don't want to leave
It feels good to have the space
I never use some rooms
I clean them now and then
I like to have them ready
In case I make some friends

[chorus]
It is best that I lay down
On my mattress on the ground
I sleep without a sound
I hope to go before I'm found

[instrumental]

I listen to my songs
I read my books alone
I dream of greater things
But time has now moved on
I never leave my room
It has a mattress on the floor
I sleep there and take naps
I never do a whole lot more

[chorus]
It is best that I lay down
On my mattress on the ground
I sleep without a sound
I hope to go before I'm found

[instrumental]

The clock is ticking down
Pretty soon I will leave town
Every day I am aware
And claim that I don't care
But it takes much of my time
I think about what's left
I never can decide
What to do with all the rest

[chorus]
It is best that I lay down
On my mattress on the ground
I sleep without a sound
I hope to go before I'm found

[instrumental]

I hope to go before I'm found
I will be gone, don't come around
don't come around
don't come around

don't come around

[outro]

Don't Come Around

Don't Come Around Punk

The Note
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
Yes, this is what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[verse]
I don't want to stick around
And see everything go bad
I will never feel that much better
I won't be able to run faster
I won't write a great new song
And bit by bit and day by day
all my systems 
will go wrong

[verse]
I don't have any complaints
Not for you, but some for me
Things were always pretty good
Always shelter, always food
I cared about you all, 
You did well, I'm satisfied
Now its time for the last call
And its for me to take the fall

And its for me to take the fall

[verse]
I could have done a little better
I could have tried a little harder
You can blame me if you missed out
Or if I wasn't always there
Don't you think I did not care
I did so then and I do now
Sometimes I am a little unaware
Get caught up in my own thing
But that's me, 
I take the blame

[verse]
Yes, this is what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[instrumental]

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

[outro]

The Note

The Note
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
It is just what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[verse]
I don't want to stick around
And see everything go bad
I won't be feeling any better
I won't be moving any faster
I won't write a great new song
And bit by bit and day by day
all my systems 
will go wrong

[verse]
I don't have any complaints
Not for you, but some for me
Things were always pretty good
Always shelter, always food
I cared about you all, 
You did well, I'm satisfied
Now its time for the last call
And its for me to take the fall

And its for me to take the fall

[verse]
I could have done a little better
I could have tried a little harder
You can blame me if you missed out
Or if I wasn't always there
Don't you think I did not care
I did so then and I do now
Sometimes I am a little unaware
Get caught up in my own thing
But that's me, 
I take the blame

[verse]
It is just what you think
It is my message, a final kiss
No need to worry
Or take the blame
I don't feel pain or any shame
It is just what it is

[instrumental]

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

But that's me, I take the blame


mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

mea culpa, 
mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa

[outro]

The Note (same note)

Cyanide and 50K
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
Is that enough, or just O K
It is a game I learnt today
A game the big boys play

A game to play before you die
When there is nothing left to hide
Any night, it is alright
You just don't want to stay

[verse]
Given time we all get here
We all find nothing that is dear
We all find it was a game
We all lose, there is no shame
I would have thought that this was clear
Soon you are gone, you die in fear

aahhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
boo
BOO!

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
All it is, it's just a game
Must be insane
When you see lights
Are filled with fright

When spirits talk to you
And chairs jump and then say boo
When you think you know the truth
With a worm inside your brain
Get on the track, wait for the train
With a worm inside your brain
Get on the track, wait for the train

[instrumental]

[verse]
Cyanide and 50K
That's all it is, 
it's just a game
You can pick one, 
or pick them both
It does not matter
You just won

[verse]
Cyanide is such a rush
And 50K, it ain't that much
You can stay and play again
You can pay or take the train

Look around, they all look back
People standing at your back
Everyone is now in line
But go ahead, and take your time

Cyanide and 50K
No need to worry, no need to hurry
No one can lose, it is ideal
But when you choose
It feels so real

Cyanide and 50K

Cyanide and 50K

Cyanide and 50K

[outro]

Cyanide and 50K

[intro]

[verse]
The rope cares nothing about your mother, 
lover, sister, father, brother
The rope tightens, bit by bit, 
and the bits are coming faster
The end is coming very soon, 
it offers nothing but disaster

[verse]
The rope is always so much worse, 
the noose is hurting like a curse
You cannot offer any bribes
there are no threats that will survive

[verse]
The rope, it keeps on moving
it knows nothing about forgiving
It cares nothing about your life, 
about your death, about your wife
There is nothing you can say
your throat is pinched,
your tongue, too big, gets in the way

[instrumental]

[verse]
Your eyes bulge, the rope moves on
Your body shakes, the rope moves on
Your feet, they vainly search, 
look for the chair you stood on
The rope moves on

[verse]
Is there nothing you can do?
Will someone save you in the end?
But no, the rope won't bend
It's not your friend

[verse]
When you have run out of rope
you will not care, you will not feel
Everything here will be unreal
Your feet will no longer dance, 
they will no longer have a chance
You once thought it was a thrill
After this, they will be still
What might have been is what you killed

[verse]
What were you thinking?
You now forget
Was it a bet, was there much pain, 
was it for love, too dark a stain?
Why can't the rope just wait, 
give you a minute to explain?

[verse]
You've changed your mind
You were just kidding
The rope will break, it cannot be,
it was a test, a big mistake
How can any of this be fair, 
you body spinning in the air

[verse]
The lights grow dim
You thought there would be truth,
a final answer, 
a recounting of your youth
You thought you'd have a chance,
a little time to tell them why, 
you'd say goodbye

[verse]
It does not matter, there is no more
Nothing will-be just like before
But you won't know after you go
So what's your point, what does this show?

[verse]
The rope is all there is and  
its length measures your life  
but it cannot be the sum  
Think again, look at your son,
speak to your wife
If not for them, for someone else
If not yourself, then for a cause
Is there a reason to live on?
Will nothing give you pause?

[instrumental]

[verse]
If the answer is always no,
maybe you're right
and it is truly time to go

[verse]
It is clearly your decision
You don't have to talk to me
and you don't need my permission
I only want you to be sure
This is the final step
and it is one step too many
Once you step off from the chair...

[verse]
I'll be here, call again
I have the time, so do you
We can talk the whole night through
I won't pretend to be your friend
But I care, I really do
I'll say goodnight 
and hope to speak to you again

[instrumental]

[outro]

[verse]
Operator standing by

[instrumental interlude]

[end]


End of the Rope

Holding Firm
(c) J. Murdock McInnes Vasey

[intro]

[instrumental]

[verse]
I look across the street
At friends I never meet
I see their children in their yard
Mine long grown and not around
My wife, she knew them better
But she's left for better weather

Alone inside I drowse 
Or roam what was our house
Each room I check, open each door
Don't step inside, don't want to see
My rounds end in the garage
That beam that held up things for me
It hangs useless on the ceiling
My step falters, My mind is reeling

The ladder she used to paint our walls
I always feared that she would fall
It stands now, out in the middle
Its purpose now is not a riddle

The rope I used when trimming branches
Hangs down, one end in reach
With both hands I yank
and it holds firm
Not like my life
About to turn

[pause]

To turn, to turn
To spin around
To look for purchase 
None to be found
To turn, to turn
To spin around
To spin around

[instrumental]

The rope I used when trimming branches
Hangs down, one end in reach
With both hands I yank
and it holds firm
Not like my life
About to turn

[pause]

To turn, to turn
To spin around
To look for purchase 
None to be found
To turn, to turn
To spin around

To spin around

To spin around

To turn and spin around

[instrumental]

[outro]

Holding Firm

I write the lyrics; Mr. Alfonso Suno composes the music.  Working with the lovely Ms. Ai Ongaku, they create the arrangements.  Ms. Ongaku and her crowd are responsible for the performances.  My part in creating these tracks is very small. Nonetheless, I am to blame.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

The End of Me

I and Ai