my best friend

deep end

circa — June 2023
updated — May 2025

When I said I love you did I say it in a bad way, in a wrong way, in a bad way
(I've always thought about us together anyway, I know you love me can you tell me so that I know)
When I say I love you I mean it I'm not kidding, you do the cooking while I put away the dishes, uh huh
I hope those words mean anything to you, when I'm not with you the world seems so blue, uh huh
(Dreaming about how you were in my arms yesterday, and like always you threw my life away)
Eighteen years I've been living I've never met someone like you, someone like you
(I'd never thought I'd just be dreaming my life away, dreaming about how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how, bout how)
And like always you threw my life away

Stream

cover photo by @zzoos
samples works by @vaultofsecrets854
--------------
(where are you, where are you)
oh i cant say i feel the same as you
what do you want
its irrational, a place not meant for two
what are you on

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

will you think of me?
oh, i hope not
i pull the petals off, loves me not

love me, love me not
i dont care when im in your thoughts
and as i watch you rot and decay, i feel invincible
oh its all that i want

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
lets make the most
before youre gone

i guess lets make the most, of this
the little time you have left
oh, will you fade away
please dont come back
lets make the most
before youre gone

ill die all over again

love me, love me not

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1JAV46oTdV7Z05cJZIF0ac?si=67e499cfa1f6436c

lyrics:
i know your starving in heaven 
i know your starving in heaven
are we all meant to die (die)
are we all meant to

stop!
are you a fan of a person you dont like
if you cant stand closing the curtains when its night 
and i cant tell if im doing this all right 
and i cant tell if you're doin alright 

(stop) i got 24 missed calls inside my inbox
too many gamma rays around me need to detox
you got me trapped inside your springlocks (springlocks)

(stop) cus im so constantly worried like "what do they think about me" "am i not interesting" 
its getting harder to sleep without you
you said its only me but why am i counting two

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
(bring me to life)
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

well what do you think 
why you so bad
you've done terrible things
you ain't the one to change cus you've never been

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)

bring me to life

produced by me
written/mixed/mastered by me
cover illustration by server (https://serverxyzz.carrd.co)
interpolates jishoumushoku by sasanomaly

[lyrics]
~verse 1~
i like to keep things close to the same
got personal problems adapting to change
i always plan things so far away
but when i get started its far too late
i like pretending i know what to do
like if i really feel at home then itll all come true
i like pretending ive made it on my own
when it could all end with a phone call home

~bridge~
god, its so hard
to juggle all the things that have been handed to me
but i cant stop
ive got to get back up

~chorus~
so im step, step, stepping it up
im catching up in a rush
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
step, step up and jump
im reaching up and above
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop
maybe i just need something,
something to keep me down
it feels so lonely when i dip
my head into the clouds
this gravity's too open
sometimes i miss the ground
it feels so weird to kiss the earth
i wanna get right back to
step, step, stepping it up
im catching up in a rush
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
step, step up and jump
im reaching up and above
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop
(step, step, step step it up)
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
(step, step, step step it up)
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop

~verse 2~
i try to sleep well, but every night
i cant shake the feeling im wasting time
ive gotta sink before i can fly
but im still afloat and i dont know why
maybe its all gonna slow way down,
thats all i can hope for, but i still dont know
i roll with the punches, i live in the now
i take a step forward and i double back

~chorus~
so im step, step, stepping it up
im catching up in a rush
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
step, step up and jump
im reaching up and above
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop
maybe i just need something,
something to keep me down
it feels so lonely when i dip
my head into the clouds
this gravity's too open
sometimes i miss the ground
it feels so weird to kiss the earth
i wanna get right back to
step, step, stepping it up
im catching up in a rush
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
step, step up and jump
im reaching up and above
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop
(step, step, step step it up)
im always some ways away
from where i wanna end up
(step, step, step step it up)
im always running away
when i dont know how to stop

Steps

art: @xaev 
prod.me 

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

she said it's cold but i wanna 
hear the wind outside, and i'll 
act like it's my birthday but
i'm not alright

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes
she says that i'm fine
it's all in my mind
i don't wanna die
i don't wanna die
it's only sometimes 

close my eyes and i'll see

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

just take what you want
i hate gain and loss
i've lost the whole plot

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

and i wanna die sometimes 
swap clothes? not quite
restart my life

close my eyes and i'll see

JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT
I HATE GAIN AND LOSS 
I'VE LOST THE WHOLE PLOT!!!!!!!!!!

close my eyes and i'll see.

gain & loss

(lyrics)
about a million conversations in a day
i give up, i give up
head screwed on the wrong way 
don't know what I'm supposed to say
another awkward moment sitting here
i guess silents been okay
I wonder what i'm so afraid of 
what i'm so afraid of (so i)

so afraid of

ingredients:
jaron - icarus
tsubi club - laced up
defsharp - tell me
underscores ft 8485 - your favourite sidekick

if icarus was laced up he wouldnt have fallen

my submission for cut2static song wars

lyrics:

heartbreak saturday morning night
inquires, injuries, i'll be alright
outlaws like me said "such is life"
they prophesied over me, i'll be alright

the first in too long, went outside
a mirror, i wanted to throw up in fire
every part me was so loud (except)
my desire to scream, unexpressed in the quiet

couldn't even spare one day for every month
couldn't even spare 2 weeks but i'm still fucked
i was never upset at you, and i'm still not
it was always "i never could live with you gone"
and now i can't think straight when you're up
and now i can't fucking sleep at all
a pathetic shell of who i was
of a man that did nothing for you
i'll die a man that did nothing for you

newsflash, something don't sit right
i meant not to be overt, i promise i tried
outlaws like me said "such is life"
they sculpted me into something i despise

the first in too long, went outside
watched myself and the last half year fall in real time
i think i would rather die than watch you lock
falling apart at a life that could have been mine

couldn't even spare one day for every month
couldn't even spare 2 weeks but i'm still fucked
i was never upset at you, and i'm still not
it was always "i never could live with you gone"
and now i can't think straight when you're up
and now i can't fucking sleep at all
a pathetic shell of who i was
of a man that did nothing for you
i'll die a man that did nothing for you

outlaw

digitally altered reject, demo version of home. consider it an interlude that didnt make the cut

hope u enjoy

lyrics:

why can’t things change?
it all stays the same
i need some space
and some time to be away

i wish that it was quiet
i cant escape, yeah there’s no silence
anything and everything, it keeps on happening
it stays the same
i need out of this house, i need a place to stay
the world keeps turning yet im stuck on yesterday
and it leaves me wondering

why can’t things change?
it all stays the same
i need some space
and some time to be away


quiet (demo)

i make music sometimes
my debut EP digitally altered is out now!!

quiet (demo)

josetta

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