The Phoenix Park - Sep'22 Demos

V1
I have no more those morbid fears. 
That panic from my early years. 
No demons in my head. No dread inside the bed.
Thankfully now all of those, those feelings left me long ago
But still.  I'll go out running late tonight.
A frost it bites my reddened ears, 
Keep off the road, beware the deer,
The dusk it turns to dark
and I'm just a runner in the Phoenix Park
Breathing out a fog that must contain some of my body
But still it melts into the air and out of sight.

And oh my heart beats fast for you
Blood flows. Leaves swirl and blows.
Breath in, Breath out, still years left to go

V2
A man in front, a girl behind. 
I can feel them. I can read their minds.
Planning for a holiday. Or cheating on a wife.
Or wondering if the love they gave to one child was enough, 
or if a younger one got short changed in the pile
And I pass the place where a monster bashed a woman with a hammer,
Put her in the backseat still alive.  She was only 25.
And I thought about her panting out her last breaths as he drove off.
Was there panic or was there calmness in her eyes?

And oh my heart beats fast for you
Blood flows. Leaves swirl and blows.
Breath in, Breath out, still years left to go

And a bird it flies low by
It startles me with fright. 
Ascends up to the sky with glee 
And from its sky-high spot
Each runner is a dot
Can it connect the lines between?

Blood flows.  Leaves swirl and blows.
Breath in, Breath out, still years left to go

V3
And in a flash I've travelled back into
My childhood family sitting room
My brother, sister, father, mother
Early '01 or '02
Watching TV in that tension.
Could we not have turned and said then?
Said: I’m beside you. I love you. I’m here for you.
Well if we couldn't do it then
I can damn sure do it now. 
For all the families there's ever been
And every one to come somehow
So I'll come panting in that door,
Move with kindness cross the floor,
And put a kiss upon your lips and then your brow.

The Phoenix Park

V1
I set my eyes on the bones of you. 
We were 17 and I was blue. 
I was blue until I was more or less 32. 
But you didn’t know that then from across the room. 
How could you?
Pushed my way through the shirts and sweat.
Plucked up the courage, and I said
"Wanna hear about this book that I just read?
Its about two beatniks driving across the US."
And you said yes. You said yes.
Oh those House Parties.  
All Kens and Barbies, 
Pairing off into rooms where our parents said we should hardly be.
You were my pair.
You chose me.
I had the hand of the local beauty queen.
And I thanked my lucky stars that I'd walked across that room.
And that I spoke so soon.
And that I set my eyes on the bones of you.

V2

Mornings came and mornings went.
19 to 29's a slog I guess.
Working jobs and making rent.
Nothing in this world that I couldn't resent.
Closed and distant. Shut up tight.
I'd stay up late watching two/three movies in a night. 
The Apu Trilogy. The boy with the bike.
Rashomon.  Blade Runner.  City Lights.
What does it take for any sapien to make a change?
Throughout those years you showed me grace and patience. 
Rolling those eyes at this indecisive little guy
trying to get out of his way and trying to rise to the occasion, 
But I got there...
Got out that room
Saw you anew.
And looked up and set my eyes my eyes on the bones of you

Bridge
Every song it pulls my heart towards it
Those poems move me and I can't ignore it.
But there's movies and there's real life.
The rehearsal and the show.
Then I set my eyes my eyes my eyes my eyes on the bones of you.

V3

And still the years roll by tumbling. 
And we’re shacked up in West Dublin. 
Raising a mad clatter of kids, sword swallowing and juggling.
It's like some mad battlefield, and we're warriors or something.
Crying and Screaming.
Kissing and Cuddling.
I’m working hard until the weeks complete,
I’m making money we don’t even need,
We don't need it? And I'm missing you? It's the pits!
And so I’m counting every minute till the clock hits six
I’m slip-sliding on a rain-slicked pavement
Just make the train, and leave the turnstile shaking,
Catching my breath, pulling out of the station, 
I watch the city turns to suburbs
And then I'm running and racing 
to burst down the door to you
Kick off my shoes
And set my eyes on the bones of you.

I Set My Eyes on the Bones of You

Jill & Rosie, they aren’t kids of mine. 
They’re imaginary people in my little girls mind.
And they have all the rights and responsibilities of a normal alive child
But now there's 7 in this family, and there just used to be five,

Oh no. Not me. I won't deny their legitimacy.
Oh no. Not me. They're as real to me as anything, Jill and Rosie.

I didn’t plan for this many kids, it’s so plain to see. 
Can’t pour a glass of milk, cause I have to pour three. 
I better put in more hours, pay the bills, buy the treats. 
I’m a clumsy daddy dog, I keep sitting on Jill while she's watching TV.

Oh no. Not me. I'll sit down with them for afternoon tea..
Oh no. Not me. They're as real to me as anything, I take them seriously.

And little girl when you talk, you set my heart so free. 
You have stories of wonder and mystery. 
And in your halting, beautiful, stumbly way
I love the pause you put on every word you say,
But lately you're a grumpy bum with me,
Can't join your game or kiss your cheek,
But I don't care I'll still listen to you for a week
Talking about Jill and Rosie, and pinky and katie and max and stephen and horsey and unicorny and all the other ones you've been coming up with lately...

Jill & Rosie, they aren’t kids of mine. 
They’re imaginary people in my little girls mind.
And they have all the rights and responsibilities of a normal alive child
But now there's 7 in this family, and there just used to be five,

Oh no. Not me. I'll carve their names in a sycamore tree.
Oh no. Not me. They're as real to me as anything, Jill and Rosie.

Jill And Rosie

Sprinting the hallway
Crashing through doors 
scooping you up 
from the desolate floor
Kissing your forehead
You in my arms
Precious and light
like some silvery star
Where is it hurting?
How do you feel?
I remember just silence
though we all must have screamed
when you dropped to the ground
with your eyes rolling back
whiter than lapland snow

Rain pounding harder
Breaking the lights
The night its against us
Its wicked and wild
It's dark in the park
as we speed and we steer
A shadowy look
From a menacing deer
And the guard looks the same
at the hospital desk
As I plead in a panic
Forget it he says
Its busy tonight, like it is every night..
To the back of the queue you go

Chorus 1
And all I see
On this cold hard planet
Is no love
Or mystery
Just a waiting room that's carnage,
All hard-edged and mean,
My jacket round your shoulders,
It's just you and I in A&E.

Waiting for hours
Bodies awash
A scene from some frightful
Hieronymous bosch 
A nurse barks her orders
its news that we seek
And we're tiptoeing now
Through the weak and the meek
Through the puke and the piss
Through the freaks from the streets
They're all harmless I guess, 
but they still make you shriek,
Then the nurse holds me back,
I let go of your hand, 
And through a curtain you walk alone

Chorus 2
And all I see
On this cold hard planet
Is no love
Or mystery
And I've been fighting with your mother
and this system is obscene,
Those lousy politicans,
its just you and I in A& E

Bridge
I remember I was in the first year of my new job when you were born
I carried you in my arms and I whispered in your ear 'you'll carry me home too one day'
And I checked the car seat 15 times before we left to bring you home from this same hospital
And I lay you down in a fresh gown in a straw cot as gentle as a bud
 of cotton.

Driving you home now
Sun starts to rise
You're falling asleep
On the passenger side.
Hours we waited.
You were just dehydrated.
The doctors were angry,
Their time we were wasting
But I'm here with you.
You're here with me.
Lost pilgrims both.
And if you are not the word of God God never spoke.

You and I in A&E

With your smile so gentle
and your voice as soft as a meadowlark
And your stories all wandering
Only understood by the pure of heart

I will get down on my knee for you
I'll repeat words slowly till they're through to you
I'll stand beside your bed
Put three kisses on your head
And hold my breath until the dusk it turns to dark
And you're off to neverland

I was working in those early years
I was trying so hard to express myself
I was climbing every ladder
A puppy looking for a pat on the head

But I'm here right now, in this morning light.
I am present in the moment. And I am by your side. 
And who knows where this goes
How this story ebbs and flows
And how tough a life can be 
when it's hard to talk
and it's hard to make friends

But I will find a way.  I will find a way for you.
I will find a way.  I will find a way through.
I will walk you home.  I will walk you home from school.
And you can walk me home.  You can walk me home too.

And we'll make some room for your brother and sister too.

You and I in A&E

JackDevalera