Disco You To Death

I was performing in a show late one night
When my tummy kinda felt “not quite right”
A strange gurgling noise started to rise
And then suddenly to my surprise
I took a crap! I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Can you imagine that?
(I took a crap) Just like a newborn brat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

As I limped offstage dripping liquid shit
My lower intestines threw a hissy fit
So I clenched the cheeks of my rear-end
And then suddenly, it happened again
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) In like 3 seconds flat
(I took a crap) It came out with a splat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

I don’t mind going Number One
But Number Two ain’t that fun
And there’s nothing like being in full drag
Then suddenly having the runs!

I ran to the restroom and I locked the door
A pile of soiled clothing on the tile floor
While rinsing out my panties in the sink
You’ll never guess what happened…
Well, whattaya think?
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Exploding from my crack
(I took a crap) That’s right, I totally shat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

It took about an hour but then finally
I got my shit together, quite literally
Yes, I was looking spotless and smelling sweet
And then suddenly, the shit hit my feet!
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Just like a feral cat
(I took a crap) Yes, I went full hazmat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

While exiting the restroom I saw this guy
A sexy janitor with a look in his eye
I thought he’d throw up on account of the stink
But major plot twist: Shit was his kink!
(He’s into crap) He really wants my crap
(He wants my crap) His fetish is for scat
(He’s into crap) He said, “I live for that!”
(He’s into crap) He really wants my crap!

The moral of this story is you never know
Don’t keep it deep inside you just, let it go
There’s a lid for every pot, I can guarantee ya’
And even some freaks into diarrhea
(They’re into crap) Even a monster crap
(A monster crap) No matter where they’re at
(They’re into crap) I’m glad we had this chat
(So take a crap) Just take a monster crap!

Donuts Are A Girl's Best Friend

Jackie Beat

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