OH MY GOD YES THIS SONG IS TRULLY FUNNY AND I KNOW A FEW WOMEN THAT NEED TO HEAR THIS SO BAD. AND I AM GOING TO MAKE THEY HEAR IT MONDAY. LOVE YOU JACKIE KEEP  THE GREAT SONGS COMING 

Disco You To Death

I was performing in a show late one night
When my tummy kinda felt “not quite right”
A strange gurgling noise started to rise
And then suddenly to my surprise
I took a crap! I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Can you imagine that?
(I took a crap) Just like a newborn brat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

As I limped offstage dripping liquid shit
My lower intestines threw a hissy fit
So I clenched the cheeks of my rear-end
And then suddenly, it happened again
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) In like 3 seconds flat
(I took a crap) It came out with a splat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

I don’t mind going Number One
But Number Two ain’t that fun
And there’s nothing like being in full drag
Then suddenly having the runs!

I ran to the restroom and I locked the door
A pile of soiled clothing on the tile floor
While rinsing out my panties in the sink
You’ll never guess what happened…
Well, whattaya think?
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Exploding from my crack
(I took a crap) That’s right, I totally shat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

It took about an hour but then finally
I got my shit together, quite literally
Yes, I was looking spotless and smelling sweet
And then suddenly, the shit hit my feet!
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap
(A monster crap) Just like a feral cat
(I took a crap) Yes, I went full hazmat
(I took a crap) I took a monster crap

While exiting the restroom I saw this guy
A sexy janitor with a look in his eye
I thought he’d throw up on account of the stink
But major plot twist: Shit was his kink!
(He’s into crap) He really wants my crap
(He wants my crap) His fetish is for scat
(He’s into crap) He said, “I live for that!”
(He’s into crap) He really wants my crap!

The moral of this story is you never know
Don’t keep it deep inside you just, let it go
There’s a lid for every pot, I can guarantee ya’
And even some freaks into diarrhea
(They’re into crap) Even a monster crap
(A monster crap) No matter where they’re at
(They’re into crap) I’m glad we had this chat
(So take a crap) Just take a monster crap!

I Took a Crap (Monster Mash) (Full Vocals) - Mix01

What could possibly be more important than proper Oral Hygiene? This medley (featuring parodies of Rose Royce's CAR WASH, The Bee Gee's TRAGEDY, Grease's GREASED LIGHTNING and Salt 'n' Pepa's PUSH IT) will brushing, flossing, whitening and even root canal FUN!

LYRICS:

ORAL HYGIENE MEDLEY

Ooh ooh 
Girl, can’t you take a fuckin’ hint?
Everyone you’ve met tonight has offered u gum or a mint
I’m doin’ my best not to be rude
But when you, open your mouth it smells like
-- somebody poo’d

Bitch, you need some mouthwash
Talkin’ about some mouthwash, girl 
Come on now and gargle with me, mouthwash
Go ahead and drink it all now, mouthwash girl

You move in close cuz the music’s loud
When you open your mouth to speak
						you release a poisonous cloud
It’s like there’s ass right in my face
Girl, go buy some Listerine at CostCo by the case

Bitch, you need some mouthwash
Talkin’ about some mouthwash, girl 
Come on now and gargle with me, mouthwash
Go ahead and drink it all now, mouthwash girl

(Swish and rinse) 
How come that filthy mouth of yours never closes?
(Swish and rinse) 
Please, deal with your halitosis
(Swish and rinse) 
They can smell it down the hall
(Spit) 
Faces are bleeding, paint peelin’ off the walls 

Hey, get some mouthwash today
I’m sorry but I don’t know what else to say
Your teeth are brown, tongue is gray
Shut your mouth, walk away

Here I sit with a painful, broken, rotten crown
Feel like shit cuz my enamel is worn down
At a loss, cuz it hurts to eat applesauce
And now there’s just one thing to do, filling you,
Drilling you, killing you.

Cavity: When the gums are red and your tooth is dead
It's a cavity. When the nerve won’t die & you don’t know why
It's hard to bear. Without novacaine, pulling out my own hair
Cavity: When you;ve got a hole sensitive to cold
It's a cavity. When you want to shout, “Just yank it out!”
Your eyes start to cross. You can’t help but wonder, “Why didn’t I floss?”

Your hair is wonderful
Your body’s beautiful
But your smile is horrible
Why it’s fuckin’ frightening!

Go to the drugstore and get yourself some Ultra-Brite
(Keep brushing, just keep brushing)
Instead of tea or coffee, you oughta’ switch to Diet Sprite
(No complaining, it’s less staining)
It’s time to draw the line, no more berries or red wine
If you wanna look your best, you had better go invest
In Teeth Whitening
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

Get Teeth Whitening, you're teeth are really gross & gray
(Teeth whitening, get teeth whitening)
Get Teeth Whitening, you cannot brush those stains away
(Teeth whitening, get teeth whitening)
You won’t get laid, until you’ve paid for Teeth Whitening
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

Your teeth are total shit, completely wrecked
You need to brush ‘em, babe
Brush ‘em every day and at night working up some spit
C'mon kids, you know Jackie Beat’s main belief
Is that it’s all up to you if you want healthy teeth
Now brush ‘em

Ah, brush ‘em - brush ‘em good
Ah, brush ‘em - brush ‘em real good
Ah, brush ‘em - brush ‘em good
Ah, brush ‘em - b-brush ‘em real good!

OralHygienew VOX

Jackie Beat

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