Fall into Bliss

indie

lyrics:
finally quitting nicotine after almost 6 years ive been
sucking down the gasoline lighting up my lungs and feeling
hollowed out  and thrown away living like a rat
and ive been trying to take care of myself  but im no good at that
ive watched all of my dvds and listened to the same songs on repeat and ive been crying more than usual and talking in my sleep
 and ive been neglecting my diary and favoring my phone , and playing new horizons daily cus i cannot leave my home
yeah I’ve been talking to my doctor and psychiatrist and shrink and ive been cleaning up my messes and then messing up again
and ive been reaching out in blindness just to grab somebodys hand and weirdly reaching bottom just to crawl back up again

hadnt rly pictured getting better but i have and i am
just as shocked as grateful tho i know it doesnt last forever 
maybe dealing with the ups and down  is crucial to exist
forgive myself for all those years i feel like i have missed?

holding onto hope onto hope
that the person i was once would be proud of the me thats not doing this alone
anymore anymore 
independancys a bore
reaching out is not a bandaid its a part of growing up

my shrink thinks i have tendencies to believe all the negatives
my brain is always feeding me, and over-sharing actually keeps
me from real vulnerability , and i just let it power me
a puppet to a lifetime of survivors muscle memory
so what if internalise and get depressive and go into
hiding   almost paralysed by this overwhelming urge
to just give up and sleep forever
just give up on getting better
but i am too stubborn to stand down and give up so i betcha

even if im tired even if my feet are sore that i will
walk this spiky road with much more passion than before
maybe getting blisters is a part of moving on
accept myself for all the things i feel like I’ve done wrong?

holding onto past onto past
is the thing holding me back gotta keep keeping on write an awful lot of songs
make some sense of this brain thats been keeping me away
from the things that i want
moving on and growing up
growing up growing up
is the next upcoming stop in this path that i took, tho its scary it is good
letting go,  getting well felt so far away but then
i became someone else  and im braver than back then

Holding Onto Hope

unfinished but felt like posting it so here

trust me DEMO

hook (demo)

mercy

favorite song

fake

Ecstasy

shiver

Round And Round

Lose Her

Single off our upcoming selftitled EP

Recorded by Paris Yavuz over a long summer

Sugarcube

Sugarcube : Bleach ii (Single)

i made a song for mister daniel johnston this afternoon

Daniel's Song

Slip In Your Dreams (Demo)

Слова: стихи Ильи Кормильцева "Ленивые огни"

Обложка: Дима Комаров

Плавится лёд

from album "dudeness" ( vk.com/music/album/-169533058_4)

текст в вк

walmart from childhood memories

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/j4k3/pigeons-eating-pigeons?fbclid=PAAaad0BDkToiu_QoIc7z9Skb7nP4facG81Ea_6diqXrTVFGwKQ4sXNElWmHY


Click the link to presave my upcoming single “Pigeons Eating Pigeons” on Spotify!! Also coming out anywhere you can stream music!