heart vomit.

let me in.
this is the best way to do it.
i'll forgive your hands for putting me through it.
don't you want to hate me?
then you can be free.
kidding. only kidding.
this leash seems so fitting.
i don't know the next line, but i'm sure it will be sad.
living. forgiving.
this noose seems so fitting.
maybe this time it won't be that bad.
go lay down.
i hear the tapping of your tablet.
that (annoying) horrid sound when he makes you laugh.
come out.
you've already finished.
take a bath.
snapchat.
kidding. only kidding.
this leash seems so fitting.
i don't know the next line, but i'm sure it will be sad.
living. forgiving.
this noose seems so fitting.
maybe this time it won't be that bad.
i'm letting you go. (i) you won't. (want)
me.
free. selfish. pity.

Free

dark blue.
ocean.
rolling.
coasting.
far away from you.
and it counts this time.
not like the (several) other times.
april fools.

Lost Em

bedsheets. breathe deep. can't sleep. so welcoming.
cheek to cheek. told you come over and watch movies.
lying blatantly. mounting t.v.
hope it's everything you want to get out of your system.
bedsheets secrete secrets evidently.
all these things seem kind of funny don't they?
allowing you to get that feeling.
hope it's everything you want to get out of your system.
how fun. (hot cum)

[new song from my upcoming split with my pal wolfman chuck. check him out at ukulelehorror.bandcamp.com. there WILL be physical copies this time!]


Bedsheets

pull yourself together.
that's what they always say.
things will get better day by day.
well i've been waiting so patiently.
scattered across states.
no way you feel the same.
and everything that you do still gets under my skin.
and yeah, i look when i can. just to see how you've been.
but you'd rather tell me to leave than to let me in.
so, i leave again.
and you were talking to him while i was in our bed.
saying a lot of things that you shouldn't have.
but you were over me. clearly.
and now i see that.
was i really that bad?
i guess i wasn't enough... or maybe too much.
i gave you all that i had.
did they make your heart race when they said all those things?
is that what kept you away from me?
you said i made you lose someone you cared about a lot. i'm sure.
you should have cared about me more.
and i was a fool only for you.
i knew what you do.
and you do what you do.
i wish i could be ok with it as you.
but it all felt wrong.
you'd turn on a song and sing along about love and loss.
oh, what sweet tragedy.
you wanted to lose me so someone could be your new love story.
you weren't thinking of me looking at your phone screen.
smiling at what you were hiding.
and now i sleep all day in an empty place.
oh, how i wish you'd've asked me to stay. fix everything.
come out. communicate. love me the same.
so what can i do? well, what can i say?
when everything i love about myself is everything that pushes you away.
someday i hope you love me the same.
no more mistakes. please, no more mistakes.
someday i hope you love me the same.
someday.

your escape

waiting for my love to come home to me is tragedy.
and everything i said i'd once known bleeds. like ink on sheets.
and i've been trying so hard not to FREAK OUT.
but living in my own head, i struggle to speak out rationally.
casually.
i just want to be your everything.
don't tell me to leave. don't tell me to see other people.
you know that can't be me, or my soul.
oh, my soul...
burns heal. get real.
i've been burning for 5 fucking years.
when did you stop? why did you stop?
did i put you out? or did your temperature drop?
well, i'll warm you up if you'll let me.
i've got enough heat for our whole family.
i'm sorry, but this just upsets me.
i can't believe that you're so over me...
but you're not. you're not... i know that you're not.
so i still give it my all.. all that i've got.
but you hardly talk. and i cry a lot.
i clench my fists not to choke up when i'm at my job.
oh, god...
if there were a god listening, i'd pray to it to begin again.
but we've been god to me since i first held your hand.
so now all i can do is wait and know that your soul has a home in my soul.
and if you ever feel for me again like i do, you know i'm for you.

I'm For You (Heroin(e))

free download. if you would like to donate to jakewolfcrunk@yahoo.com thanks.

sunflower

free download. donate to jakewolfcrunk@yahoo.com on paypal if you would like.

i fell in love today

this is a track from a demo recorded, intended to be a band. we couldn't figure out a name. we lost our practice space. and now who knows where the hell we are. if you really want more. contact me. however. you know how. you fucking creep<3 ily

trevor - drums
zack - bass
jacob - vocal

fuck. I just got this feeling that I can't explain. and it's driving me insane. I cant sleep at night. and I fight with myself in my brain. what the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like I wanna be put away. well maybe I'm wrong. needless to say. i'm all alone motherfucker. in my own way. fuck with me. you'll end up fucked up than you could ever possibly be. i'm like a hollow casket. I'm only filled when you fail. I fucking hate your "purpose". i'm just not there. I feel no connection. no, I don't dial in. I wish you'd all just piss off.  but then again, you could help me win. I play god. fuck with me. I could play god. my decision. a little bit more motherfucker. I'm about to unhinge, and you're not gonna like who I'mma let in. gotta blend. can't forget. I gotta blend. so I just stay in. go out to pretend.

maybe i'm wrong

get me to quit

sometimes i'd rather die

i hate the fucking phone. i hate the fucking internet. i hate the people that put it above everything else. sometimes i wish since they are so obsessed with it all they should just become like it. metaphysical. haunting one another for as long as 0 and 1 can be written in pointless sequences. yeah, physical life isnt all that great when you're probably a parasite posing as anything helpful to your surroundings. but breathing sure beats choking yourself with a belt to a recording of someone else getting laid. i'd say get a life but that's too open-ended these days.

connected?

i'm not bitter. but i'd say the bitter taste of expectation is a pale tongued reminder that you try until you die. no matter who you are or claim you will be. fucking cunt supremacy praise. a temporary reward that melts away like ice when it's hotter. what's hotter? what's the next best thing? gotta have it. gotta be like it.
gotta matter. oh wait. fuck everything.

bitter

why don't i care to go and mingle? it's so sickening to me to rub elbows with desperation like that. i guess if im ever in the mood for by chance cheap interactive comparison i can always just hit the nearest social excuse. feeling so slimy with piss washed hand residue. trying everybody on in a classy tactful order. does this glass look half empty or half full to you? id say it could use a few more washes through...

dirty glasses

people fucking talk a lot and i dont understand why nothing every makes a motherfucking difference. heads up eachother's asses while theyre shaking hands about some bullshit sentiment on which they have a relatable basis. fuck faces. chitter chattering like wind-up toy teeth. i wish they'd fall off the edge of whatever platform they've been placed to entertain. spread brains on the hard surface. a hard reality. so to speak.

Lost Em

jakewolf

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