Nessie

Here to Stay

well I could rest here all day long but i won't, I'm not at a five anymore. and when i see you around here, well i know, you're not kind anymore. well bad things do not come in threes, i can not see. and i don't doubt you'll lose yourself again somewhere around at ten.

54321

good morning, me

i'll blow away with the sand
evaporate with the oceans
fade into nothing but dust
on your sleeve

dust on your sleeve
dust on your...

i get so nervous so often
find that i can't even think
arms like a bouqet of flowers
so beautiful with streaks of pink

with streaks of pink
with streaks of...

life is a wonderful error
i am a loveable person, i know
nothing is locked in forever
not my outline in the snow

not my footprints on the road
not this existence alone

dreaming; a memoir

composed & performed by aidan peterson

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artwork by kacper abolik

all rights reserved 2017 © instupendo

Friend of a Friend

Hand to Hold (Feat. Lontalius)

stream/download

hand to hold (feat. lontalius)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1SCSIR46Ew

Elsewhere

Fools Day

mon chéri

written produced performed by me
guitar by caleb flood

lyrics:

its been forty days and forty nights since you had said you wished youd never kissed me
after all this time i cant find a way to get you out my brain it hits me
and im a mess im always late for things i never get enough rest and im always sleeping
i cant find a way to get outta bed in the morning all i see is you and im iffy

on another day another time
ill find you here by my side right next to me

in another way another life
ill look for you i swear ill never stop looking

after all this time i cant find a way to get you out my brain it hits me

and im always up too late
i get the shakes
and somedays i feel unhealthy
and i wish i felt the same way that
i did when i still talked to you it kills me it kills me

donut secret house

cover photo taken by mads

chain smoke the hunger away
only eating one meal a day
on a good day, but the good days
will never come

i got so used to loss
that is sort of became part of me
i lose myself in my head
i lose my patience in the agony

i lost my youth in the fallout
of somebody else

who took advantage of trust
and left me hating myself

it's always there in my dreams
i put myself through your hell

why did you do those things to me?

sit down on the side of my bed
and contemplate the endless nothing sat inside of my head
it's such a slow burn, but the candle
is always lit

i got so used to fear
it learned to manifest in me
i fear the ending of it all
i fear your reckless apathy

i fear that everything's boring
and nothing will help

it's like it's all in a cycle
my dwindling health

i feel the breath of the reaper
on the side of my neck

why do i still get out of bed?

reckless apathy

july 28, 2018 

sitting at a coffee shop 
"tell me about your day" 
flipping through your notes 
we start to escalate again 
i never seem to understand 
any of it in the end 

i replay each moment slowly 
frame by frame - a different story 
in my mind i'd like to change 
everything i said that day 

talking on a summer night 
"we can do it your way" 
turns into a fight 
i start to raise my voice again 
you never seem to understand 
any of it in the end 

i replay each moment slowly 
frame by frame - a different story 
in my mind i'd like to change 
everything i said that day 

and i still remember every sentence 
that i said that made you cry 
and if i could go back to evening

donut secret house

James Ivy

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