Chains

Confidence

I want to know what is going on
whether this is real or not
you know you have me hanging on
to every last word you say

and even though you say it’s alright
I still can’t read your mind
because you’re never really right on time
that’s why I like you.

Why does it seem so hard
to believe
That I’ll be whatever you want
me to be

I want to know what you’re going through
every time I look at you
you’ve got a habit of being true
so it doesn’t have to be this way

and even though you say that you’ll leave
you’re still pulling me on a string
because you never really know what you mean
that’s why i like you

Guts

I don’t want to get older
even though you asked me to
how am I to get over someone
just like you
put your head on my shoulders
give me a sign just to tell
I can be there for someone
other than myself

I don’t want to go back to you

let me tell you my problems
even though you don’t want me to
all I need is a reason for
everything I do
How can I be so helpless
after everything that we’ve done
I just want to feel like somehow
I’ve won

Shoulders

grab it by the horns at least
that’s what I tried to do
now it’s not the same 
with my heart just torn in two

Why can’t I understand
that I won’t have a second chance
at fame am I under looked
for what I have to say

every now and then
even when I’m a thousand miles
away I can’t help myself
i’m always bound to fail

again am i running out of
time wheres a good man when you
want i need somebody to 
hold me in their arms

if this is how it feels to 
be on a winning team
then I’ll take no part
I won’t give you everything.

i own i have nothing left for 
show I guess it’s time for me
to settle I don’t know why it seems
my love is hard to find

Horns

back in taipei!

people say that i need
someone to hold me down at the knees
Every time I have something to say
there seems to be a problem
I have no money to save
but I have you in my bed
talking about all the things we think we have
even though it’s nothing

something tells me to worry
for thinking love is boring
i’ve been this way since you’ve told me
that i’m the man who loves you


Money

The Worst

Diamonds

Song 7

A scratch track from last year, and a redo of one of the older songs on here. I started school so I don't have that much time to write music anymore, but I'm trying. 

Problems

I don't care what others say I'll do it how I want
If you've got a problem. I don't give a fuck. 
Tell me something easy. You know I'm not too smart
You think I'm just kidding. But I need repetition.

your talk is resting inside my head
i'm feeling like it's meant to be
but your chest is aching with every step
so i'll finish what i started

what am i providing that makes you feel secure
although my love's divided i want you to be sure
I don't care for other things i want you in my home
i just can't imagine being all alone

tell me if you just can't stand
and i'll be waiting by the phone again
because love hits like an avalanche
so i'll finish what i started 


Avalanche

Guts 11 - 10 - 14

Horns 11 - 10 - 14

I saw a reaction
that I don't understand
I know I've got my questions
like how did you get your tan
in the middle of winter
with no clothes underneath
I'm just trying to figure
our your personality

I'll be gone in the morning
with nothing left to fear
how can you be so strong
and not even shed a tear
what do I have to gain from
impressing anyone
how much do you think i'm worth
in the eyes of all your friends

oh my god
if I only knew I would've chosen something else
but i digress
I've always been told to live life with no regret

you've got a mouth full of metal
that you didn't design
for as long as i remember
you've got cigarette smoke in your eyes

Tans

I don't want to die, but if I had to I would
go on ahead; pretend that 
I have more life to give
this old heart of mine ain't about to forget
every time that I've felt your weight 
pressing into mine
why am I afraid? is it the way you talk to 
me that I can't comprehend 
the value of your game

my heart still bleeds
even though the kitchen is clean
I know it's hard to believe 
I'm the worst at loving you've ever seen

somewhere in my eyes theres a version of the 
world that I need but it's not 
waiting here for me
to hold your hand in sight even though I'm terrified 
by the thought; your intentions 
are way too hard to read

what's in your name
promise me you'll never ever change
we've got bad blood in our veins
does that make our bodies one and the same

Blood

I can't get you out of my mind
I don't know why
even after all this time I'm left wondering 
who you gave your love to

it's hard to believe how you just cut me down
without any blood and without any sound

I know I'm not the talking type
I'm more of a listening and response guy
with your skin shining just like the sun
I was just happy with you by my side

a head on my shoulder never felt so right
even if it was from you just being nice
maybe it's my fault for just playing dumb
but who could pay attention to the signs

when your face was just so close to mine
and our footsteps were so synchronized
walking you home on any given night
oh nostalgia makes me so naive 

exchanges from the two of us
oh I thought we were just building trust
hearing you talk about your present life
when will being myself be enough

how could I believe
that this time would be different
that the values I held dear
feel so insignificant

Just

woke up one day and I
couldn't find the time to recognize
myself
as i'm washing dishes inside the sink

where did my mind go
everyone else I know
has a life they can lead
but me i'm still dragging my 

feet to where they want to go
I'm still traveling all alone
never meant to turn so cruel
I swear it's got nothing to 

do with you
I know I can't turn my back
gotta face these cold hard facts

money, fame, power, love
I don't even have enough
expressions, emotions, thoughts, ideals
how can you tell which is real
faith in something, fake or nothing
some people just can't take it
dying over religion means your bleeding over fiction

James Nee's Album

Dishes

The way that I need you 
is pretty much ill-advised
I feel so nonexistent 
we're so different you and I

call me over the weekend
see if I have much to say
I'll be pretending to be interesting
deep down inside I'm still the same

I guess I'm wrong
about everything I thought
was true; bit off more than I
could stand to lose

so I'll say it loud and clear
a voice without a sense of fear
I think it's time to take a risk
I've got no time think about what if

oh if this is my last
time to feel at home
I don't care, I want you near
don't want to wake up all alone

you took me by surprise
you got me on the run
I know my dancings not the same
I've got nothing else left to blame

Dance

I wish that I was dead to you
and I wish that I could move on too
make it easier for me to leave
won't it hurt more if I see you again

the past few years ain't what I bargained for
looks are deceiving when you're down on the floor
now I'm getting way too old for this
living inside my bubble suits me best; I guess

why is your face the first thing I see
when I close my eyes and take one final breath
hold your hand on sight and hope for the best
tell me do you understand my dreams

I was weakened at the knees with a look
I couldn't even try to speak if I spoke
what is wrong with my mentality
twenty years sure took its toll on me

Bubble

I've got a sunburn
all across my back
I just want an answer
if you want to relax
your hesitation
costing me a leg
here I am just waiting
for myself to drop dead

underestimating: the worst crime you can do
the individuality of everyone is cool
my reservations; way too many to count
yea it's strange to fathom there's other people around

I'm bad at reading
my listening's not great
when the situation calls
I can't afford my mistakes
now the pressure's on me
I can feel your weight
counting syllables inside my head
give or take

Sunburn

corny song I know, but I'm on a song writing rampage right now. so idgaf

never liking what you see in the mirror
well that's the problem, nothing else could be clearer
stop caring about what people think in public
trust me, your past is nobody's target
even if you could turn back
what would be the point in that

I know it's nice to think about your past self
daydreaming just so you can forget it
even if you don't want it, you've got to own it; now or never
you're always settling for some kind of happily ever after
where the hell was your best friend
to punch you in the face right then

Punch

I'll be alright
just gonna find a little corner to crawl
and hide my face
yea i think i've seen enough of the world

to be able to feel
the exhaustion from overachieving 
so I'm done with beliefs
what is wrong with being plain and dumb
not like I'm trying to be anyone

I packed my bags
yea it's fine to make a few mistakes
gotta learn to be okay
with somebody else pulling the strings

to know what it means
there's underlining text in everything
and all that I have 
is a culmination of my decisions
of which none of them had a good reason

there's no need to explain
that experiences are rather tragic
but there's nothing more priceless
than having a new set of perspective
to improve a false sense of perfection

Crawl

with my back pressed up on a wall
I realize I'm nothing but talk
with the way that I hide my reaction
like it's nothing at all

need to grab my own hand and take action
make reality my very own bastion
I'm ashamed of what I've become
or am I jealous of everyone young

my polemical writings about you
were to justify my own lack of heart
I don't have a good reason to tell you
how my mind was so stuck in the dark

I hope I've grown into someone you could
forgive me for trying too hard
the front that I put up was strong
I was focusing on everything wrong

Polemics

do I need your affection
i ask myself this everyday
someone find a distraction
there's no way this could ever be sane
with my hand in my pocket
reaching out for something
that will never be you
with my mind in depression
i'm talking like someone 
with nothing to lose

I'm not trying to be healthy
I do push-ups to help pass the time
just a daily reminder
without you I'm bored out of my mind
with ice in your veins
i know we're not the same
but i'm trying to overcome
my weakness in being
overly sentimental
to the cause

it's only human nature
to be bound by a choice
it's only human nature 
to life live in reverse

with each passing second
I get discouraged to even attempt
the first lie is important
a second chance will never be free
i will never understand 
how everyone is calm
and relaxing all around
I can't believe i'm trying to 
integrate myself into heaven;
not a chance

Nature

you never told me
I'd die out slowly
i'll never have an 
impact so worldly
if I learned one thing
over and over
faking your jubilation 
feels homely

I want to rest my
head on your lap but
when did that become 
such a harassment 
to see the skyline
be parallel with
the silhouette of your 
legs on the park bench

If I've lost something
that i've regretted;
my inner sense of
how to be happy
my mind is blank when
you enter my frame
don't even know when
the hell is my birthday

i write my name down
to not forget it
can't pay the bills yet
I'm way too artistic
the rhythm in my 
life feels outdated
missing a beat like
i'm too syncopated

Blank

I know I'm too
quick too assume
when I'm smothered by my doubt
i'm still figuring it out
I wish I could
decipher your look
to convince myself I'm not
as delusion as I thought

honestly I don't know
how to life cautiously
even when I'm done
my greed just overtakes me

I'm not even offended
I like having thoughts to myself
but the way we're pretending
yea it hurts more than knowing the truth
i'm not here cause I want to
not everything is about you
and it's not ideal for anyone
but I love you; I do

Honestly, It's Not

trust me 
my decisions 
have no roots 
in my frustration
I'm in bed 
so why do we 
even pretend 
I'm someone I'm not
the stress I feel 
stifles my lungs 
like you can't imagine
to compromise 
your perpetual 
selfish demands 
do the irredeemable 
actions of youth 
amuse you so

on my grave:
"Western decadence poisoned me to death"
here's my life
written down in 4/4 time; a perfect end to what was mine

i went to the store one day

you're the flower, I'm the frame
but my definitions not the
same as it once was
what a shame now that I'm lost
I'm taking it step by step;
watered down delusions at their
best, i've got to take it
no time to rest, i better fake it

I'm blinded by the burden
the apotheosis of confusion
I wish I was born with
a set of woman's intuition

cold blood running down from my head
can't get distracted by the aesthetics and principles 
free myself from all attachments 
end of summer and I'm stuck in a routine
variations of the same old thing
can you inspire me to believe
it's not so dire

when fighting half your demons
there's no reason you shouldn't be laughing
in the face of uncertainty
a pragmatic stance solves everything

Frame

I was born sometime in early November 
I'd tell you when but you wouldn't remember 
I'm not questioning your mental capacity 
It's just not that very important to me
I'm slowing down
My life so I can figure out 
A way to circumnavigate 
this boredom and idle phase

help me realize what kind of action
I can give my feet some sort of traction 
All I really want
Is true love and understanding 
even I think I'm worthy of such a feeling
My excessive 
public faith in everything
is freaking me out a bit
well there goes my competence

November

Just your friendly neighborhood emo song-writer.

james nee

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