I recorded an instrumental version of the same hymn two years ago when a sister taught it to me. Now, I had the feeling to record it again, after all the experiences the Lord has given this year.

I really enjoyed the third stanza of this hymn:
"Just rest, He knows;
With Him blindness is pleasant!
Just rest, He knows;
Sightless, you see Him best!
Just rest, He knows;
My soul, don’t waste the present
On those “what-if’s“.
Just turn to Him and rest!"

After almost two years of the pandemic, I felt hopeful entering into 2022, thinking that perhaps it held better hopes for more freedom and a sense of normality that we knew before everything came "crashing down".

However, in January, COVID hit our household to such an extent that I didn't see coming. I even came to a point of thinking that maybe I'll lose a family member to this virus--spending days at the hospital with a seeming plethora of medication just to get better. It was such a grueling time, a battle in my mind, a severe weakening of my faith, and I thought it was the end for me; I was in fight mode, endeavoring for survival against all the aspects of depression. I forgot my spirit. I didn't think it would help. "I just needed to get things done," I said to myself.

Everyone recovered eventually, thank the Lord. But my mind remained traumatized. The scenes kept coming back, and I dreaded every time night came because the eerie silence reminded me of the calm before the storm. For months on end, I would lay in bed 'til the wee hours of the morning--unable to sleep--paralyzed with the fear of extreme possibilities. My mind was filled with SOOOO MANY "what if's": What if it happens again? What if I can't cope? What if there won't be enough supply to meet the need?

These thoughts occupied my mind endlessly. I felt like my spirit was so powerless against my raging mind, which triggered my emotions, and caused my body to suffer the consequences as well. The sightlessness drove me to my wit's end. I think, deep in my heart, I was angry at the Lord for giving me such a heavy burden again. I was complaining, "Why does this keep happening to me?!" I had no rest in my tripartite being. But one message struck me concerning "God's Economy in Faith" during a working ones' conference.

It posed a question: "Do you believe that He (God) is repeating all the things He did in the past? No. He is not repeating anything. He is always moving forward." But what about you? Are you stuck in the past? Are you a person of yesterday?

I was indeed severely hindered by the past. I couldn't move on. The events of the past fueled an increasing amount of unbelief. What a shameful situation I was in. Every day, I felt like I was drowning, like Peter started sinking when he looked at the waves. I couldn't help it. The waves were so huge, ones I've never encountered in such magnitude.

Rest comes when we look at the Lord, and it seems I still haven't been perfected in this aspect especially when it concerns family--family is such a blind side for me. Everything else just fades, even my spirit, when it boils down to this.

In the end, I'm thankful to the Lord for exposing me of my shortage in this matter. I thought I was okay...I wasn't. But I acknowledge that I am still in the process, and I thank the Lord and all the saints for really carrying us in prayer. It was way beyond my capacity; I despaired of living. 

One last thing. The brother mentioned such an encouraging word.
"What should we do if we recognize unbelief?
We say, "I BELIEVE!"
"LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF!"

This brings us to the chorus of the hymn:
"Thank and praise You, Jesus!
Through all unknowns,
You make Yourself so dear!"

I still love You, Lord. You are dearer than before!

(Link to full lyrics: https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/34)

Fear Not, He Knows (NS34)

Sweet Will of God

https://songbase.life/3481

1
Lord, fill me up     past the brim,
Pouring in from limb to limb. 
It’s Your love that comforts me 
Deeper and wider  than the sea. 

	 I am a Jesus Bottle!
	 I am an open vessel!
	 I am a gushing fountain
	 Flowing with Christ Jesus my Lord!   
2
Lord I was blind; I could not see.
It’s Your light that shines through me.
Nothing can explain how bright
Like Your star that appeared that night.
3
Power that is a mystery;
It’s Your Spirit infusing me.
All because of God’s vast grace,
There’s this big smile on my face!

I am a Jesus Bottle (Lord, fill me up)

Dedicated to my granddaughter Anna. Her birthday is 6 September, mine is one day later. 

2 mandolins, 1 dulcimer, 1 guitar.

Anna's Waltz

Isaiah 12:5 - Sing psalms to Jehovah, for He has done something majestic! Let it be made known in all the earth!


Lord You Are Beloved

¹«Áö°³µéÀÇ Âù¾ç

Let us Comford Forward

1
Since Christ my soul from sin set free,
This life has been a joy to me;
And ’mid earth’s sorrows and its woe,
’Tis joy my Jesus here to know.

Chorus:
O hallelujah, yes, ’tis joy!
For it is Christ that I enjoy!
On land or sea, what matters where?
Where Jesus is, my joy is there.

2
The earth was once a bitter place
Till Jesus showed His smiling face;
Now joy’s begun within my soul,
’Twill last while endless ages roll.

3
What matters where on earth we dwell?
On mountain top, or in the dell,
In cottage, or a mansion fair,
Where Jesus is, my joy is there.

Since Christ my soul from sin set free (Hymn 348)

Mary poured out her love offering 향유를 부은 마리아

Here are the words:
1
Live Thyself, Lord Jesus, through me,
  For my very life art Thou;
Thee I take to all my problems
  As the full solution now.
Live Thyself, Lord Jesus, through me,
  In all things Thy will be done;
I but a transparent vessel
  To make visible the Son.

2
Consecrated is Thy temple,
  Purged from every stain and sin;
May Thy flame of glory now be
  Manifested from within.
Let the earth in solemn wonder
  See my body willingly
Offered as Thy slave obedient,
  Energized alone by Thee.

3
Every moment, every member,
  Girded, waiting Thy command;
Underneath the yoke to labor
  Or be laid aside as planned.
When restricted in pursuing,
  No disquiet will beset;
Underneath Thy faithful dealing
  Not a murmur or regret.

4
Ever tender, quiet, restful,
  Inclinations put away,
That Thou may for me choose freely
  As Thy finger points the way.
Live Thyself, Lord Jesus, through me,
  For my very life art Thou;
Thee I take to all my problems
  As the full solution now.

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/403

Let us Comford Forward

Jamie jee un Nam

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