https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZJzu6_8Zqw

I hate politicians, that’s not meant to sound sinister
In the UK, we have a Prime Minister
First past the post, across the nation
All the MPs are offering salvation
Don’t know what to believe, it’s out of the question
All these lies are giving me indigestion
They should all be hung, just like parliament
Bring back execution and capital punishment

So don’t vote for me, another crooked politician
Don’t vote for me, I’ll squash your ambitions
Don’t vote for me, I’ll make all the wrong decisions
Nothing’s gonna change, we’re gonna stick with tradition

Now it’s a bit late for my own manifesto
But I wrote some ideas on a receipt from a resto
It’s time for a	change, that sounds original
The rest of the world is all going digital
They say honesty is the best policy
To tell you the	 truth, I don’t like the monarchy
What a waste of money that the taxpayer’s spent
You can’t build a government without cement

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

DON'T VOTE FOR ME! (Acoustic)

https://youtu.be/WW87KXe_Fpk

She says you shouldn’t play your music so loud after dark
If you want to play your guitar, then go to the park
Stop dancing on the table and standing on the stool
If you want to put on make-up, go to acting school

And if you’re not too careful, you could get your hair full of greasepaint
And if you’re not too careful, you could see it all slip away
					
You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
If you don’t, one day you’ll be down on all fours
	
She says that you’re not as young as you once were
If it doesn’t work out, go to the job centre
Tuck in your shirt and polish your shoes
They will find a career more suited to you

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

SCRATCH MY BACK!

https://youtu.be/pA-9PKUnyyI

I’ve spent too much time on the road to nowhere
It’s about time I was going somewhere
I’ve been on autopilot, circling the air
This dizzy feeling is more than I can bare

When I’ve seen it through, I know what I’m gonna do
Find the nearest post office, send myself to you
Gonna need a first class stamp, but I’m not stuck on you
I’m coming back

I’m coming back, back to rob you

I’ve been out in the rain and I’ve been soaked to the bone
Got no battery or reception on my mobile phone
Up the creek without a paddle and I’m trying to keep afloat
I’ve got that sinking feeling, I hope someone sees the smoke

I’m riding on the wind, riding on the wind
riding in my red hot air balloon
I don’t wanna be anywhere,
I wanna be somewhere soon

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

BACK 2 ROB U! (Acoustic)

https://youtu.be/TJQun-6tR6M

They’re lying when they tell you it isn’t gonna hurt you
Swallow something strong for the pain
A stitch in time saves nine, an anaesthetic feels fine
and outside it is starting to rain

Zombies and leylines, you’d better check the train times
before you miss the last one home
Notify the neighbours with their lightsabers
Nobody should be left alone

You’ve reached my phone,
so leave your message after the beep
I’ll try to return your call
before I have a drink and go to sleep

Turn your phone to silent, your status to private
Nobody can get in your space
Sitting on your steam cloud with a virtual crowd
Messages that you can erase

Put on your headphones, don’t ask any questions
when you need to turn a blind eye
No news is good news, there is nothing to lose
Tell yourself another white lie

Look away now and the needle won’t disturb you
What you don’t know can’t hurt you

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW! (Acoustic)

https://youtu.be/FmRtqsuFaGo

Every year you send a card
hoping they won’t forget you
 “We must meet up sometime soon”
Pigs don’t fly but snowmen do
Now writing ‘Season’s Greetings’
is more politically correct
If you say ‘Happy Christmas’
there’s someone you could offend

I’m not a wise man
but I know one who said
 “Have a happy new beer
and all the breast!”

Underneath the mistletoe
kiss her and she can’t say “no”
Don’t spend all your hard-earned cash
on a ho hoho
Sing a carol, say a prayer
as you do throughout the year
Santa’s watching you so be
on your best behaviour

Both you and she know
there’s nowhere else you need to go
Stay for a while
and let it snow, let it snow

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

HAPPY NEW BEER! (Acoustic)

https://youtu.be/roavOuUNS4U 

Performed by Jan Sloane and Sébastyén Defiolle

No charm, no soul, franchise control						
One golden globe for monotony						
Special effects, same formula						
No more need for brainstormula
Out with the new, in with the old
A story already told

A lack of originality								
leads to another trilogy							

Is this another sequel
There can't be only one							
This farce will last a thousand years
It's really dumb								

The same plotline, it's ludicrous
We forget fast and furiously							
Out with the new, in with the old
A story already told								

It's another sequel

Music Copyright Queen
Lyrics Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

ANOTHER SEQUEL! (Parody of A Kind Of Magic by Queen)

https://youtu.be/i7jvEV6HvQo 

Performed by Jan Sloane and Sébastyén Defiolle

Raise your hand if you like Italian pizzas					
Mozzarella margheritas.  Well, I do
You're just glad to indulge in Indian curries	
Onion bhajis, poppadoms and vindaloos

A little later on, you start to fart
You think that it's the end, it's just the start of World War Three

Organic food, going gluten-free
won't make your farts smell of strawberries	
Organic food, going gluten-free
won't make your farts smell of strawberries	

Raise your hand if you like full English breakfasts
Eggs and bacon, beans on toast

Come to Brick Lane, London							
If you're on a bike, then dismount
I know this one restaurant
that always gives a decent discount
Just
don't ask for
Cauliflower rice or quinoa
with your curry

Where I come from, farting's not a sin
Better let it out than hold it in
Where I come from, farting's not a sin
Better let it out than hold it in

Foxtrot Alpha Romeo Tango

Music Copyright Bloodhound Gang
Lyrics Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

FOXTROT ALPHA ROMEO TANGO! (Parody of American Bitches by Bloodhound Gang)

https://youtu.be/2bxw6yBUaMM 

Performed by Jan Sloane and Sébastyén Defiolle

The neighbours say to put the guitar away
It's getting late, but I still wanna play

The sun went down a while ago
They told me to stop, but I said "No"						
I'll still be playing while the city sleeps
Got a reason to live and I'm in too deep

Yeah I wanna rock and rock and roll all nite
Yeah I wanna rock and rock and roll all nite

I sometimes think that the guitar's alive
Shooting rockets right into the sky

Temperature's rising, not going under					
When lightning strikes, I'll be bringing thunder				
Heaven's on fire, it's hotter than hell						
I sure know something, it's a musical spell

Music Copyright Kiss
Lyrics Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

ROCK AND ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE! (Parody of Crazy Crazy Nights by Kiss)

https://youtu.be/gQxM68C5UAY 

Performed by Jan Sloane, Sébastyén Defiolle and Nathalie Kitayama

She says you shouldn't play your music so loud after dark
If you wanna play your guitar, then go to the park
Stop dancing on the table and standing on the stool			
If you wanna put on make-up, go to acting school

You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours
If you don't, one day you'll be down on all fours
You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours

She says that you're not as young as you once were
If it doesn't work out, go to the job centre
Tuck in your shirt and polish your shoes
They will find a career more suited to you

If you're not too careful, you could get your hair
Get your hair full of greasepaint
If you're not to careful, you could see it all					
See it all slip away

You've got to keep it simple, got to stay true				
If you wanna keep it real, don't change your tune
Let nobody else stand in your way
If you wanna get somewhere, practice every day

Music Copyright Joe Dassin
Lyrics Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

SCRATCH MY BACK 2! (Parody of Aux Champs Elysées by Joe Dassin)

youtu.be/C2anvxxShYE

Performed by Jan Sloane and Sébastyén Defiolle

Search me
Add me as a friend								
Follow me
Leave me a comment

The internet is our friend, yeah
The internet is our friend, woah
The internet is our friend, yeah
The internet is our friend

Like me
Do it and do it again							
Tag me
Poke me, it's a trend								

My favourite network sites
keep me up all night
Appreciate your feedback
I'll always be online

Read me
Message me, click send
Share me								
Hashtags at the end								

Search me
Add me
Follow me
Like me
Tag me
Poke me
Read me
Message me									
Share me

Music Copyright Nirvana
Lyrics Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

THE INTERNET IS OUR FRIEND! (Parody of Rape Me by Nirvana)

"NICE ONE, JAN!" - Jimmy Pop

"POSITIVE, SILLY AND BRAVE!" - Ross Field

“BUY THE MUSIC OF JAN SLOANE –FOR IT IS A SPIRITUAL LOAN!” - Dan Barcan

"TERRIFIC SONGS AND WITTY VIDEOS!" - Marc Glinert

"THE CHEESIEST CLIPS!" - Claude Faverger

"OVER-THE-TOP ALTERNATIVE POP!" - Anonymous

"HE'S NOT TWISTED, JUST CREATIVE!" - Anonymous

Jan Sloane is an English singer-songwriter, guitarist and music video producer, based in Paris.  From Stonehenge to Chernobyl and football to 3D movies, his songs cover a range of areas which interest him.  His music is typified by catchy tunes and humorous lyrics, often in an ironic way.

Jan Sloane's style has been described as cross-over music, with both rock and comedy influences.  He has been inspired by a variety of artists including Kiss, Bloodhound Gang, Nirvana and Queen.

Although a solo artist, Jan Sloane often performs with local acts, such as Culture Bay and Dark Angel Knight.  He writes the lyrics in English and sings parts in French on the Paris open mic circuit.  He doesn't play covers publicly, preferring to sing originals and parodies.

Jan Sloane has used YouTube to publish his music videos.  They are characterised by picture animation, transitions and cheesy special effects, edited in PowerDirector.  The clips add another dimension to his sounds without taking himself too seriously in the process.

Thank you for reading, listening and watching!


Studio LPs:

P IS FOR PARODY (2019)
Music copyright: Original artists
Lyrics copyright: Jan Sloane
Performed by Jan Sloane and Sébastyén Defiolle
Arranged by Sébastyén Defiolle

FACTOR 55 (2013)
Music and lyrics copyright: Jan Sloane
Performed by Jan Sloane and Vincent Faucher
Arranged by Vincent Faucher

EVERYBODY'S DOING IT (2006)
Music and lyrics copyright: Jan Sloane
Performed by Jan Sloane
Arranged by Matt Barwick

ONCE UPON A PIANO (1999)
Music copyright: Jan Sloane
Performed by Jan Sloane

Copyright Janislaw Szczepaniak Sloane
@jansloanemusic

Jan Sloane Music

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