Windjammers

Windjammers (feat. Eyenine & Mister Burns)

Jarvage Vol. 1

BLAOW

Escargot

Flow Dirt

Definition of a Rap Flow Contest Entry

This was a waste of time. Enjoy.

LYRICS:
J stiffy
Ol' j stiff 
The greatest local rapper 
You don't even know exists 
With a style like K. Swiss 
Meaning it's worn and it's played 
With a name like j stiffy
what more can I say 
I'm blown away man
I'm serious 
"The kid's a wicked lyricist"
Throwin' out my name 
as though he's fearless 
But I can hear it in your tone
You're sounding a bit shaky 
Your delivery is lacking
Now your raft- I be deflating
I be sinkin' em
I really think you're dumb 
Thinkin' you're better than me?
But I'm begging to differ 
I'm sendin' him out to sea 
Before he begins to see the sun 
Cheeky cunt, fuck you and your dingy 
I eat MCs for fun
My advice to you
Is turn away and run
No, you're not great, you're lost space 
Get socked in your mom's face 
Fuck off, little bitch, 
Big shot in the dark, caught in a crawl space 
suppose you could accost some
But umm, probably not Nate
You gotta call some other lost soul
To come and massage your prostate 
I floss great, 
awfully posh, boss takes, 
his time makin' the rhymes
Flyer than than y'all on a plane 
My name is Nathan, 
Better known as Jarv number 2
Close second to the greatest local rapper known as, who?

Awww shit, I got roasted
3rd degree 
Never heard the kid
But I know he's heard of me
It must be difficult 
To be the dopest local MC
yet, you gotta mention me 
to get some likes on fb
Ohh, Jesse, we can end it now 
and it doesn't have to get messy 
But if you wanna compare wrap sheets
Grab the scale and let's see 
You got one song on soundcloud 
Wow you're so profound 
How could I have overlooked you
The greatest rapper in town
Now, Stiffler, from American Pie, right?
I mean from what I can see
You're just as dumb and equally childlike
I can see it now 
You were gassed off your friends 
Like I should try him right?
No bro, my shit is hot
And I can tell you're more the mild type 
I'm making history 
Burnin' this herb like listerine 
Brought out the massochist in me
Now bitch, admit defeat  
You cannot sit with me
Nor stand with me
Can't event begin to handle me
I'm giving your ass a pass
Now go home and hug your family 
This little bastard, J Flaccid 
Is whack, making me batshit 
I could be found drowning 
his fake ass in Lake Placid 
Fact is, he lacks actual talent 
Yet, it's as if 
He be thinkin' he can test the kid 
I best commence to smash him
Damn man, how can I advance 
When the greatest local rapper
Put a damper on my plans
He answers to no man
A tough guy in a muscle-bound bro-stance 
But fuck it
somebody has to 
put Stiffy back in his pants

While you were in Newport, New Hampshire 
With your thumb inside your asshole
I was tourin' down the east coast 
With my dudes RA and AFRO 
Who's local now bro?
Thinkin' you're pounding on the down-low?
Im loco and I'm crazy 
You're too vocal with your sound, bro
When the day comes 
that I'm finally touring Europe 
I'll be sure to send a postcard 
To the hardest local cat
I've never heard of 
Love Jarv 
It's love, I really mean this
Wow, it's truly an honor
Being dissed by j-stiffy-micro-penis
My friends who don't even rap
Rap better out back of a party smashed
Off the top of the cap 
Than you in a written, recorded track
A simple fact 
It's mathematics 
You can't handle the static 
I combat with 
leavin' you packin'
On some badly broken back shit 
I'm snappin'
You ain't got the stones to step 
I'm prone to leave your dome blown 
Bro, go home and rest 
I'm a pro with the microphone 
Flow's in check 
Inspect the method 
When I flex 
And feel your poems deflect 
Yes, you're weak man
You know, ive heard it so many times 
Stereotypical flow 
And some cliche rhymes 
Another fake toy
With a fake Drake voice 
If you wanna take the stage after me 
I guarantee nobody makes noise 
You're scorin with the ladies, huh?
Congrats, they're dumb 
You're just another whack rapper
With a faggot fucking haircut 
Mention me again?
While I commend you for your labor
I ain't hearin it, consider this a favor

Stifle

LYRICS:

Sittin' in the Boiler Room amongst cobwebs and heat 
Do the varmints in the wall like the beat? 
Scurry left to right- I can hear them while they walk 
Nibble and bite at the wires- they admire how I talk 
My sight split 
The pipes drip onto the concrete 
Following the mellow streams, hollow as a zombie 
Shallow castaway, feel the flow of the blood 
Dirt coagulates, sink my toes into the mud 
It's fun when you between the time zones 
With rhythm and rhyme tones 
Similar Brothers Grimm and divine poems 
When I go to the outside world 
I feel my eyes go to fully refined side notes 
I devise my own arrival 
With the stealth of a Thief, I feel the feet beat above me 
The crickets dig the melody, they're tellin' me it's lovely 
And something inside sparks like steel and flint 
I feel it when I really begin dealing with life between real and pretend 
Extend a hand from out my cage- the barbed wire is cold 
It tears the pruney skin, the ruby red liquid exposed 
It flows to the beat of life that Thief and me provide 
I need a plate of food for soul and I'll remain insane inside 
And I can tell you now as data travels intercontinental through foil tubes 
We do this for a divine and royal few 
Who dig the swell messages dwelling within the interstellar stew
Independently produced within this Boiler Room 
It's the Boiler Room 

As the pen strokes move freely- 
Yet in sync with the rhythm provided by ThiefofBaghdad 
The eyes roll back in the head and the soul controls the movement 
So put down the phones, open your eyes, ears and minds 
Listen 
I mean, really listen 
This is the Boiler Room 

Walk lost 
Pace around an open concept 
The air is damp, the lung is strong 
My song- it isn't sung yet 
I promise, when it is, you will know 
All of you will 
Recognize the real inside the Boiler Room atop the hill 
And when the sun rains on the mass of land 
And the master grabs the man 
I plan to live forever, beneath the grass and sand 
And when the day comes for the next big thing to finally find control 
They'll dig beneath the Boiler Room- 
My story will be told

The Boiler Room

LYRICS:

Ya' goddamn slack-jaw 
Pick ya' ass up off the asphalt 
How many times I gotta pass y'all? 
Hats off to who? You know it's me- 
The bro wit the poetry, Leave a chode MC- 
Lying on the floor, he crying, "woe is me" 

I'm throwin' these- 
Totally proficient with flow and ease 
Go and see- noticed you thinkin'- 
You got the potency to roll with me 
Homie, you know you will get broke and beat 
I'm dope indeed 
I grab the microphone, you grab your rosary beads 
Who came to see me speak? 
The soul in the boiler room, mold to the beat 
Had the flow since a fetus- I'm dope, please believe it 
Zoomed out the womb, boom box and adidas tryina break 
My mama called me Nate 
I walked out of the hospital and bought a can of paint 
Ever since that day, nothing has been the same 
Became the maniac upon the mic that you cannot contain 

Mentally, I'm better than everyone 
Never met anyone tellin' me different 
I mean it, I beat it up, eat it up, we get up- 
Even the beat isn't ready for me 
When I begin to speak in the mic 
And I'm freakin' it right away 
Never be havin' to breath 
I'm competin' to be the one 
biddin' a bitter goodbye 
to an idiot thinkin' he king 
It ain't really a thing when I'm bringin' it out- 
But the people, they love it- that; I'm all about 
And if I could defeat every bit of the weak in a weekend, 
I'd do it and then I'd be out 
With a negative agony down in my belly 
I'd be disemboweling all of my enemies 
Draggin' 'em back to the pad in a bag 
I'm attackin the whack and I'm leavin' 'em empty 

Tempt me 
I'm a nice guy, but who knows, I might snap 
When I kick flows, these thick hoes get sewn to my sack 
I write that with an intention to bend it and lean it 
If I say it enough, it'll become true, do you know what I mean? 
It's like I walk through valley and I'm askin' for sex 
I finally got to Leb and then I'm askin', "what's next?" 
I bust heads, but in a nice way- I might stay and rest 
Or maybe I'll head back to Windsor, so I can play with my friends 
Sup Teece, sup Ethan 
Hey Nate, wassup Drew 
Hey nick, what's up nick 
Futawn; fuck you 
I'm just playin baby ♥︎ I cannot be taken serious 
But if you want a lyricist, look no further here he is 
Steerin' his vehicle into the ditch- pitiful 
Miserable little idiot fillin' the rhythm full- 
Of everything he got, will he give it up? No sir 
Everybody wanna see him swimmin' with a toaster 
Overhead, I fly like a missile 
Soar like an eagle, I'm so official 
This'll maybe hurt a bit, might even tickle 
Either way it doesn't have to be made into a big issue 

If you wanna get down to the beat 
I'm the clown for the job 
You have found what you need 
I compound with the sound 
I confound and defeat 
From the nose to the toes 
From the ground to the beak x2 

If ya' just got paid 
Or ya' just got laid 
And you're havin' a good day, say hooooo 
"Hoooo" 

All the people in the place 
Who are feelin' out of place 
Who don't really wanna play say noooo 
"Noooo"

Slack-Jaw

LYRICS:

Open up your eyelids, look at the horizon 
Tell me what you see, do you see me smilin'? 
Naw, probly not, my spirit is right here 
Sittin' my captain's chair with a bottle of beer 
And it's good, yeah it's great, for heaven's sake, I love the taste 
Of a cold one- chillin' at 8pm on Sunday writin' poems 
That the people love- it's what the people need 
It's me Jarvy on the rhyme, man- Thief is on the beat 
Heat the masses, at least the nooks crannies 
Someday I'll fill an atlas with cats who understand me 
Rambling off a lesson trying to make it all fit 
Profit is not the focus, but I won't oppose it one bit 
Don't throw shit that you can't pick up 
I'm quick rip that shit up 
In it for the rhythm, never spittin' to make a quick buck 
Yo, do you get it yet? 'Cause I can do it all day 
Man, I can do it till your ruined or your hair turns gray 
And long after, I be the rafters 
Swingin' back and forth on vines- divine rappers test it 
I guarantee I'll wreck ya' body while I'm restin' 
Best to check your head and get to steppin' 

Say, what's all the fuss about? 
Jumpin' and jivin' and buckin' about? 
Jarvy the man- he be rockin the benefit better than y'all 
Somethin' about the way he moves the tongue 
If it was a comp, he woulda won- dun dada 
Thinkin' he got it, wanna stop him, but he buggin' out 
What's all the fuss about? 
Shut ya' mutha-fuckin' mouth 
Don't even consider gettin' close 
He boast a bunch about the skill 
Sure, maybe some of it is filler- 
But the kid'll still get your girl and drill her 
Lady killer 

Smooth as margarine, Jarv is harder than army men 
Well maybe not, but watch as I'm- 
Gettin' props from your mom and them 
Them being her friends, hot damn, they on some cougar shit 
They tell me that they love my hair, they tell me that I'm 2 legit 
"Never quit, Jarv" 
"You da shit, Jarv" 
Oh, you're too kind, I'm blushing and my dick's hard 
Uhhhh woah, stop- now go 
Back and attack whack cats with that flow 
You know what I'm 'bout, yeah- you know how I feel 
You know I'm a fool 
Crackin' jokes coppin' a feel upon the bossoms 
'Mmmmm, damn babeh you pretty 
I'll marry you and carry you throughout your favorite city 
Or town- 
Baby, I'm ready to settle down- start a family 
But she didn't like the rambling of clown 
So my sad face overcame my dad face 
Mad haste made to her sister with the braids 

Say, what is all the fuss about? 
Jumpin' and jivin' and buckin' about? 
Jarvy the man- he be rockin the benefit better than y'all 
Somethin' about the way he moves the tongue 
If it was a comp, he woulda won- dun dada 
Thinkin' he got it, wanna stop him, but he buggin' out 
What's all the fuss about? 
Shut ya' mutha-fuckin' mouth 
Don't even consider gettin' close 
He boast a bunch about the skill 
Sure, maybe some of it is filler, 
But the kid'll still get your girl and drill her 
Lady killer 

Yeah, I guess I'll tell the truth- I ain't cool and I'm weak 
I'm a shit talkin' bitch, lady killer? Never me 
But I love 'em, somethin' about the way that they walk 
We don't have to fuck, we can just talk x2 

You can ride with me 
You can buy me things 
You take me out 
And pay to fine dine with me x4 

Lady killer

Lady Killer

LYRICS:

Smooth as velvet, you can tell it's too true 
Do whatever you do, the dude dwells in the- 
Cellar where the bass and rats be 
Since I quit my J O B machining at the factory 
Great like Gatsby, eeh-gad, the cat with the phat speech 
Clear a path, he's running the track like an athlete 
Sway to the vibe, Thief and I provide 
Come down to the Boiler Room 
Take a step inside of the rhythm 
Baby, lose your mind to what I'm givin'- 
You, the lyrics and the patterans that are within 
In the cut- 
I lie, but I will never babble with them 
Leavin' MCs scatterin'- infallible, bow to victims 
If ya - begin listenin' to what I'm tellin' you 
I'll never have to send you and your yellow crew to hell 
But through the fire and flames, you will cry in pain 
Gift given to those using my style in vain 

We be them fellas who- 
Do dat shit 
Do dat shit 
The cat is fantastic, mass lyrical backflips 
Nasty with it, in fact batshit, mad skill 
You cats tryina rap, will catch a javelin in the back 
Do dat shit 
Do dat shit 
Huh? 
The cat is fantastic, mass lyrical backflips 
Nasty with it, in fact batshit, mad skill 
You cats tryina rap, will catch a javelin in the back 

Still dope 
Still smooth 
Still relaxin' 
Still havin' fun with this rap shit 
Laughin' when I kick a dumb rhyme 
And I laugh with the crowd 
Laugh with the friends 
I have a lot for that I'm proud x2 

Smooth as velvet, dude is well-writ and well-read 
Grab the microphone and melt heads 
You're steppin' on egg shells 
A wrong don't make a right, but two rights make a left 
Well-said 
(you mean 3?) 
Ahh, yes, yes- you guessed it, I'm Kickin' it, I'm posted 
A mad scientist in his lab mixin' potions to get 'em hooked 
You cannot learn this in a book 
Yes, I've been a crook- but now I've got the rhythm- women look 
Nobody's smooth these days 
Their music makes Nate want to rudely crusade and say 
What he gotta say 
It's obvious you are a novice, 
Wait a minute, maybe I'll display how to properly operate 
Check it out now, no- check it out then 
I'm ready to go back in time with my pen 
But never that, I'll go with the flow one mo'gin 
Real rhymin' is timeless, it knows no end 

No bounds to this 
Bros pound the fist 
Gotta make it pound 
Until the hoes bounce to this 
Gather 'round and get 
Low-down and dip, 
Step in the Boiler Room 
You know it goes down to this x2 

Still dope 
Still smooth 
Still relaxin 
Still havin fun with this rap shit 
Laughin' when I kick a dumb rhyme 
And I laugh with the crowd 
Laugh with the friends 
I have a lot for that I'm proud 
Still dope 
Still smooth 
Still relaxin 
Still havin fun with this rap shit 
Laughin' when I kick a dumb rhyme 
And I laugh with the crowd 
Take a step into the Boiler Room 
Come on down 

Come down to The Boiler Room 
C'mon 
Take a step into The Boiler Room 
That's right x4 

Vibe to the rhythm and the sound 
Nod to the kick, get down 
Thief on the beat, makin' pound 
Live from The Boiler Room under the ground x2 

Come down to The Boiler Room 
C'mon 
Take a step into The Boiler Room 
That's right x4

Velvet

LYRICS:

Alone 
Caught up in the mix of an unknown city 
Yet it all felt vaguely familiar 
As though he’d been there a past life, or in a dream 
He wanders aimless 

Set adrift from the bus stop 
Amongst traffic lights and cops 
The sound and lights hit his face like waves 
He remains unphased, navigating alleyways 
With a strange sense of recollection 
As he enters the great divide 
Between two scrapers of sky 
A cold wind rips through his clothin’ 
And brings a tear to his eye 
Frozen, he shivers from the bitter cold wind 
As he pulls his jacket tight and his hood low, 
Tugging at the drawstring 
He heads for the closest bar and takes a seat 
Orders up a cold one and somethin hot to eat 
He takes out a book of poems and begins to read 
But with his old eyes and with that dull light, 
it’s easier to look at that mirror and think 
A lone traveler, an artist 
Lookin’ for life, love and happiness 
In a glass half-full of hardship 
And with the words “love and loss” 
Inscribed inside his mind, he sighs deep 
Closin’ his eyes, all he really needs is sleep 

He awoke, noticing the chick on his left, two seats down 
Couldn’t be anymore’n 22 at a New York bar, no one around 
Somethin’ about the scene was so profound 
Yeah, he saw the beauty in the truly broke and low-down 
“Hello” he says, “what’s your story” 
The chick looked over and said 
“I was on my way to Burma-Shave, I just stopped to get some rest” 
Not wanting to test the patience of this girl he just met 
He looked back into the mirror, when she looked over and said, 
“You from around here?” 
“Naw, it’s my first day” the man replied 
“I just arrived on the greyhound and I’m only stayin’ one night” 
“Oh, that’s cool. You here for any particular reason?” 
“Not really, I just wanted get away- 
Change the scene, catch the breathing” 
“Yeah, I know the feelin’ 
When you just gotta do some soul-searchin’, it’s so urgent 
You gotta purge- search Earth for the worth in person 
I can assume, as you get older- it only worsens 
‘Cause every passing day, I feel the erosion from the whirlwind” 

Ya' know at first the man was taken back by that response 
He just couldn’t figure out why, 
It was kinda like this chick had read his mind 
It seemed apparent they shared some sort of other-worldly bond 
He couldn’t put his finger on 
Almost like they had met at one time 
And so he studied her every move, looks, dialect and attitude 
Kept asking her questions- grillin’ her, feelin’ her vibe and mood 
“Who are you? What’s your story? Where you from? What do you do?” 
“I’m a writer with a vision on a mission to find the truth” 
Replied the chick with perfect diction while she scribbled on a napkin 
The man was so distracted by everything that was happenin’ 
He didn’t catch the words, but when he looked he could see three 
‘Cept it was too dark in the room and far away for him to read 
She handed the man the pen, demandin’ the man’s attention- 
Said, “Nathan, I know you know me- and you know we’ll meet again” 
Like that the girl was gone, the man woke up, pen in his palms 
To his left; a napkin, he read it- 
"Love and loss" 

When you’re out on your own 
And you’re travelin’ a road 
And you’re never gonna stop 
Never gonna go home 
No home, not anymore 
You ain’t got nowhere to go 
You ain’t got no one to hold; 
Love and loss 

You look into a past 
That is shattered and cracked 
Scatterin’ years, laughs, 
Tears and fears and no cash 
Toe-back, shoe-lace ripped, 
Brain snapped at stem 
Flash back to the when; 
Love and loss 

Hold back, no, hold tight 
The slow draft, the cold night 
The show might not proceed 
Unknown flight- meet your needs 
The foresight cannot see 
The light at the end of the tunnel 
Troubled, under- 
Love and loss 

The lonely one, the only one 
Who seemed to hold and mend 
Was gone a long time ago 
I know, I can see you hold it in 
And now you’re wishing you could 
Befriend the breeze and the wind 
Man, you had that dream again; 
Love and loss

Love & Loss

LYRICS:

Rock the rhythm, move your feet 
Everybody gettin' loose to the boogety-beat 
Be free to the kick, high-hat and snare 
Discrete, slow, fast or flare 
Take care of yourself, don't push too hard 
Don't get stuck, baby- gotta be smart 
Let it come natural 
Whether mellow or fast 
Ya' gotta match the pace 
About face with the fashion 
Action, never passin' out, smash and dash 
And when the beat drop, collapse 
Into the vibe intermittent 
With the rhymes that I'm kickin' 
Lifetimes symbolized by the high-hat tickin' 
Get it, got it, good 
Understood what it gotta be 
Not a comedy, on an odyssey 
With a bundle of bottom feedin' 
Poverty stricken people bodily wobblin' 
Wantin' to find a better day 
With melodic equality 
Promising nothing 
Gotta blend in- 
To flow of the river comin' 'round the bend 
I can, I kick my steps- I jam 
All alone with a head full of friends 
You bend to the rules, I bend to the beat 
I've been extending a dead end street 
Rain falls a drizzle 
Makin' ripples in the creek 
Keep movin' as one 
And the cycle don't cease 
Be free to do 
Be free to be- you 
Do whatever you see fit, kid- breath 
Sigh of relief, yeah, a breath of fresh 
Keep it movin' to the rhythm 
Till you learn the steps 
Left to right, now right to left 
Spin like a cyclone, break ya' neck 
Don't look at your feet 
Ya' gotta keep lookin' forward 
The dance of life has no end 

Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
Must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control 
Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
We must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control 

No end in sight 
I speak, I write 
Part of a cycle- 
Spark in the night 
Found my rhythm when I was just a pre-teen 
Gotta fuck the scene up and show my light 
My life is this, my life is that 
A bit of blues 
A little jazz 
A boom and a bap, fact is 
Doing it, ruinin' cats, 
Fuming in fact, 
grabbin' ahold of the rhythm 
And I never lose track 
Poetic inevitability is livin' within me 
Infinity- finishin' anybody with a simile 
I really be feelin' an innovative bit of energy, 
I dare anybody to 
Kick a rhyme in my vicinity 
I'm witty with it, really killin' 
All of my shows 
I suppose you don't know 
Well, I guess I gotta show 
You how the fuck it goes 
Alright, I speak, write, read, I flow 

Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
Must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control 
Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
We must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control x2 

Rock with it, rock with it 
Non-stop with it 
Clock tic-tocs- 
I'm still on top with it 
Watch it when I kick it up 
A couple fuckin' notches 
Stop in and you'll find that 
I be killin' all the gossip 
Destiny 
That's a real big word 
Testin' me 
Rest in peace to the herbs 
I merged with the force 
When I came to the fork 
The river took hold and I lost all form 
It set my course 
Now I got a path 
For the back and the forth 
Never givin' in until I master the sword 
And I'm heard from the west- 
to the south- to the north 
Contort it with a white cap 
In event of an emergency 
I'm sure to be murderin' 
Any hurdle inadvertently 
Drowning? 
I'm never bound to be bringin' it down 
I'll be found flowin' on the surface 
Permanently 

Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
Must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control 
Move your feet 
Free your soul 
Speak your peace 
And free your soul 
We must adhere 
To the rhythm of life 
The beat maintains complete control x2

The Beat

LYRICS:

I'm takin' it back 
Back to the basics 
Takin' it back 
Back to the basics 
Takin' it back 
Takin' it back to the basics 
A beat and a rhyme 
For these MCs fakin' x4 

Hold it 
Huh? 
Hold it right there 
Nowadays MCs just don't care 
Talkin' all that bullshit, y'all could never pull this 
Flow similar to my golden hair 
Go nowhere 
So sincere 
Grab the microphone, make you show them tears 
Rip it to the rhythm with a bit of competitive nature 
Nate gonna make it oh so clear 
On stage rappin' with your whack-ass crab walk 
Thinkin' you're slick 'cause you can kick a little fast talk? 
I can too, bitch 
Run through crews, bitch 
Whatcha gonna do 
Who ya' gonna run to, bitch? 
It's true most rappers suck 
Word to Slug, number 2, Bad Dub 
When it breaks it'll all come together 
When I take ya brain, I'm gonna shake, rattle, sever 
Get a plate for the feast, get a coat for the weather 
Get a way for the means and a hope for the cheddar 
Get away from me, kid- I don't wanna be together 
I'm takin' the beat 'cause I flow to it better 
"He don't know any better" 
Yeah, he must not 
'Cause I flow to the bitter end and never gon' stop 
Might blow up, but it won't go pop 
Word to De La Soul and all that real Hip-Hop 
No, it won't flop, 
No, and it ain't never gon' change 
All of that tough talk soundin' the same 
Sick of thy idiot bidding, goodbye 
My advice might be to try a different lane 
Feel the pain, 
Yo the game nowadays is a big ol' maze 
Full of robots, no motherboards or brains 
Synthetic MCs are pathetic indeed 
Especially when you see 'em placed next to me 

I'm takin' it back 
Back to the basics 
Takin' it back 
Back to the basics 
Takin' it back 
Takin' it back to the basics 
A beat and a rhyme 
For these MCs fakin' x4 

Nowadays, most MCs ain't shit 
Tempt me, bitch- I'm gonna come to grips 
With the microphone 
Might smite you despite the clones 
You came with, the second the bass hits 
Sick of the carbonated copies and lame kids 
Kickin' the the same flows, sayin' the same shit 
With the same stance, wearin' the same clothes 
You tryina rap, or get into fashion? 
Take your pick 
Single out a million idiots in a video 
Gimme the visibility, really willin' to kill it 
Showin' anybody up 
Who really be kickin a wicked flow? 
Admit it, you bit it, you better get up out the vision, bro 
Devoted to the rhythm, it's a miracle, there we go 
Daredevil upon a microphone, he blowin' out your stereo 
paired up with a pen and a pad, he bad 
He had a massive amount of attack packed in a track 
That is that 
This is this 
Class dismissed, grow a sack and a dick 
Fuck a Rolex, fuck a Jag and a hit 
My rhyme'll leave an average cat with slashed wrists 
When a Thief track hits, mad kids get split 
By the thick bassline and the phat drum kit 
Kid, the faculty ain't got jack on me 
Word of advice, move back when I begin 
Yeah, back up 
It's my turn to talk 
Grab the microphone 
I be burnin' hot 
Set it on fire, don't matter if I'm cool 
I'll be burnin it down, bound to rock the spot 
Everybody wanna talk that phat shit 
(Phat shit) 
But they could never hack the tactics I smash with 
I'm back with that rat-a-tat, batterin' whack cats 
Rhyme fully-automatic, you're an old bolt-action 
I bust that shit, you be jammin' up 
You could never match half of the stamina 
You steppin to this? 
Yo, I'm wreckin' your shit 
DTM talkin' that garbage? 
Man, you dumb 
Tough luck, fucked up, now you're takin an L 
Name's Jarv, kid- I vacation in hell 
Wanna battle me? That'll be a fatality undoubtedly 
I laughed at the fake when he fell 
Ha

Basics

LYRICS:

I woke up in a wreck on somebody's back deck 
I stumbled down the street- beer and weed on my breath 
"What happened?" is the only question I could fathom asking 
As a stumbled in to vomit in the gas station bathroom 
Crusted in my mustache- I must ask the cashier 
Where I can find a trash bin to throw this condom wrapper in 
Least there's a possibility I wore one 
Who's the lucky lady? What may Natey have contracted? 
As I leave, I'm trying desperately 
To unweave this tapestry and pick up every last puzzle piece 
But I can't do it, I'm ruined and I cannot reassemble 
I blame it on the pain in my temple 
I've been to the bottom and here I am again 
I gotta find my car and I gotta find my friends 
I feel like shit, man- I feel so alone 
I got high last night and I didn't go home 

I'm tryina think back to the beginning of the bender 
The last I remember was Sam the bartender 
Trek down the street through 90 degree weather 
Skin color- green, I should be on a stretcher 
Walkin' down Mainstreet, a car pulls up 
Pizza face baby weighed about 3 bucks 
"I had fun last night, you got my number, hit me up" 
I looked her in the eyes and I replied like, "yup." 
I make it to the the bar- find my car is parked 
The only problem is, I don't know where the keys are 
RETARD 
I would to call a homie, but hey- wouldn'tcha know 
The phone in my pocket could desperately use a recharge 
I step into the bar and ask if I can use the phone 
They were like, "Nate, after we cut you off- where did you go?" 
Uuugh, man- I really wish I knew, but I don't 
All I know is I got high and I didn't go home" 

I called up Teece, I was like, "Ayy, wassup 
I'm hungover at the station, please come pick me up 
My car's out front, but I can't find the keys" 
He was like, "Dude I took 'em- remember? You tried to leave" 
"Well, dude- you couldn't gimme a ride?" 
"Man, I tried, but you left with that fat chick, insisting that you were fine" 
Noooo 
God why 
Fuck me 
I ran outside and dry-heaved in the street 
Who coulda seen? I hope nobody knows 
I'm beginning to think that I'm outta control 
I oughtta get it together but I know that I won't 
That's the way the cookie crumbles, that's life- I suppose 
So there I sit, basking in shame 
'Till Teece pulled up and he laughed in my face 
He handed me my keys, "Hey, thanks- I gotta go 
I got high last night and it's time to go home" 

I'll wake up in a fog- god dang, good god 
I'll put it all together like "oh-lawd" 
I hardly ever smoke, it's a fact that I drink 
Put 'em both together, I'll be yackin' in a sink x2.5

Oh-Lawd

LYRICS:

Dead man buried in the basement 
Basement 
Gold-plated spinners on my spaceship 
Spaceship 
Sharper than the scaler that they scrape with 
When you're at the dentist and they steady hatin' 
What? 

Man, whatchu you talkin' about, my dentist is amazin' 
Why you talkin' 'bout the dentist in the first place, man? 
I dunno, I'm just a little frustrated 
Sittin' in the waiting room, gettin' sick of waitin' 
Space the umff out, 'till I'm thinkin' about the placement 
of waiting room chairs and the places that they're placed in 
Pickin' out the toys, if I was younger, I would play with 
But I'm no longer a boy, docile, complacent 
What a nice place, cleanliness, organization 
Excluding the crooked plaques, making me insane, shit 
to the right of them, sittin' a pretty paintin' 
This one is level, it is properly situated 
Posted in my chair, yes- I'm sittin' in my station 
What's takin' 'em so long, man- I'm gettin anxious 
Just as I'm thinkin' all about evacuation 
The nurse walks in and she calls out, "Nathan" 

Dead man buried in the basement 
Basement 
Gold-plated spinners on my spaceship 
Spaceship 
Sharper than the scaler that they scrape with 
When you're at the dentist and they steady hatin' 
What? x2 

Now I'm sitting in my chair with a hat on my hair 
Sunglasses on my face and a dead man's stare 
At the light right in front of the teeth 
Pearly white like a light bright device type-machine 
Now I'm waitin' once again and I'm lookin' outside 
At a basketball court and an overcast sky 
And nobody around save the cars in the lot And the freeway through the trees way out past the park 
Hygienist walked in with a tone I could tell 
Said, "Nathan, it'll be a couple" 
Oh, what the hell 
Now I shift my focus to the window itself 
Tissues, a fan and some books on the shelf 
Absolute Beginner's Guide to the Bible 
And World History are among some of the titles 
120 Banned books, wonder how many I know 
It's only 10 in the morning and yo, I'm bored out of my mind bro
M.C. Escher, that's the one I'd like to read 
At least I know it has some pictures I would like to see 
Pamphlets on the right that might not apply to me 
Bite Soft and Straight Talk About Crooked Teeth 
The dentist comes back, to scrape upon the plaque 
I'm uncomfortable, burdened by the sweat upon my back 
I hate the feeling and sound of them peeling through my mouth 
I got a cavity? I'm glad, good B Y E 
See y'all around 
G'bye 

Dead man buried in the basement 
Basement 
Gold-plated spinners on my spaceship 
Spaceship 
Sharper than the scaler that they scrape with 
When you're at the dentist and they steady hatin' 
What? x2 

I'm steady flossin 
I'm steady flossin 
I'm steady flossin 
Orally awesome x2

Flossin'

LYRICS:

It all comes together, man- it feels so perfect 
Saturday, kickin’ back, sittin’ on the surface 
Worthless? Never that- do yourself a service, 
Man- come on, get down to the earth tip 
70 degrees under evergreen trees, at the park till dark 
Every evening street shredding, 
Nahte got the Cavillac ready 
Tribe Called Quest, Beck - Beercan steady 
Got a betty on my side, backseat when I ride with the homies 
Ain't no surprise the guys know me 
Typical Jarv, Deuce Bigalow goes hard with a so-so hoe 
Gettin’ dome, drinkin' 40s 
Cops roll by while I powerslide hills 
They hate my skills, I love cheap thrills 
I go wild in the streets, runnin’ up until- 
The homies hit me up to chill 

Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Walkin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 
Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Skatin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 

Got my hair in a bun like Samurai Jack 
Hot yoga in the park, ooooh, would ya’ look at that 
Feel the breeze, life is such a beautiful thing 
I find a quiet ol' tree and take a nap 
Ahhh, how lovely, livin like a sundae with nuts 
Yeah, I'm nuckin’ futs- tell me that ya’ love me 
Honey, let’s go and take a dip 
Sun-bleached hair, with the bubblegum hips 
Ahhh, get a grip Jarv- can't get this hard 
Rockin’ gym shorts, swimmin’ with this broad 
Good god, gotta stop lookin’ at the bod 
Or homegirl gon’ tell Jarv to get gone 
Rope-swing, hoping to see the ravine 
You’ve been my dream ever since I was a pre-teen fiend 
Fantasy may be happening or so it seems, 
“What do ya’ say we go and get a bite to eat, huh?” 

Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Walkin’ 'round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 
Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Skatin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 

I don't wanna grow up, No, I don't wanna get old 
I don't wanna do what I'm told x4 

Hot yoga in the park x8 

Yoga pant booty-bootiful, I'm a fool for you baby boo, 
Hello, how do you do? 
I am not the man, but I will treat you like a woman 
Number 1, you will never be number 2 
You’re definitely divinity, Let me buy you dinner 
To you, I promise- I will always be true 
After dinner we can head back to your pad 
and I will do whatever you want me to do 
Who am I? Another stupid guy who would try to 
to get in your pants and wave goodbye? Oh my, I never would 
I never could even begin to imagine leavin’ you defeated 
I mean it, better believe it 
Heated up a little candle wax, drip it on my back 
Ooh, ahh, you a freak and I like that 
We hit the sheets, then I hit the streets 
And skate down to the station for a night-cap 

Hey, it's quite alright 
Out goes the day and in comes the night 
With the moonlight gleamin’ on the side of her butt 
I love life, man- aww shucks x2

Hot Yoga

LYRICS:

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial x2 

Introducing the uncoordinated Bruce Lee- 
Jarv, retard on tracks, by ThiefofBaghdad from New Zea- 
Landing on branches like Leo in The Revenant 
While rappers get branded, I stay contractually hesitant 
Standing on my own two, dismantle a pansy- thrown through 
paneling of fake wood, I'm hotter than rockin' snow suits 
In July or August, gotta' teach 'em- taught 'em raw shit 
Temperature will be goin up 
Hotter than any dumb hoe with some large tits 
Grab 'em, ahh, motorboat (brrrr) slap 'em 
Not the tits, the rappers braggin' about their massive lack of talent 
Riding on a hover board, elastic ankle slouch pants 
Smedium shirts and snap backs, doin' the dab dance 
How much were the shoes that your parents bought you? 
Haven't worked a day in your life, it's so ironic you're a tool 
man, who you trying to impress? Have you not a shred of virtue? 
Actin' like life is a big commercial 

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial x2 

Act now and we'll throw in an extra set for free 
Call the number on your screen and buy my shitty CD 
Grab your fire suits because this mixtape's fuego, 
Act now and you'll receive a stale everything bagel 
Taste-testers open up your mouths real wide 
We've got a little something that we wanna put inside 
It's great for all occasions, especially college parties 
Best enjoyed while you're chompin' off your tongue rollin' on Molly 
Get your glow sticks ready, autotune comin' at ya' 
Baalooaaloooaalooaalooo 
Who's your new favorite rapper? 
Give me all your money, invest in my clothing line 
Fashion over rapping, in my skirt I'm feeling so divine 
I made it, thanks to all of the kids who donated 
I'm poppin bottles, sippin' syrup, gettin' so faded 
I'm famous- most played on your little sister's playlist 
My listeners are dumb and they're easily persuaded 
Man, fuck that- You suck and you're only getting worse, dude 
Thief and I will break down walls, bomb and then burst through 
Bother and hurt, vomit and purge on your purse, dude 
You're actin' like life is a big commercial 

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial 

Actin' like life is a big commercial x4

Commercial

LYRICS:

Sittin' in The Boiler Room x4 

Come down to The Boiler Room 
C'mon 
Take a step into The Boiler Room 
That's right x4 

Vibe to the rhythm and the sound 
Sound 
Nod to the kick, get down 
Down 
Thief on the beat, makin' it pound 
Pound 
Live from The Boiler Room under the ground 
Ground x2 

Come down to The Boiler Room 
C'mon 
Take a step into The Boiler Room 
That's right x4 

As the pen strokes move freely, 
Yet in sync with the rhythm provided by ThiefofBaghdad, 
The eyes roll back in the head and the soul controls the movement 
So put down the phones, open your eyes, ears and minds 
And listen 
Welcome to The Boiler Room

Jarv.

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