Week 40 #songaweek2020. Photo is church, pandemic-style (Facebook Live kitchen-table worship  with my pastor). Partially inspired by Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. 

The closer you come to the mirror
The further you feel from yourself
You’re facing the facts
But there’s more to the story 
You’re something like what they see
And nothing short of you

The harder you hold out for meaning
The smaller it shrinks from your grasp
when did it ever make sense
In the cold hard light of you?

Come
Weary one
I will give you rest

The longer you live with your secret
The louder it lies in the dark
And cries to be heard
And held to the light

The deeper you dig down for treasure
the stranger the strain on your soul
When will you ever have
Enough?

Come
Heavy-laden one
I will give you rest

Come
Every last least one
I will give you rest

Rest

Little Cracks

Copyright Erin Wolf 2020

Guitar & Vocals: Erin Wolf
Lyrics: James Tristan Redding & Erin Wolf
Music: Erin Wolf

*This song uses a wide range of old unused prompts from Song-A-Week founder, James Tristan Redding (@jimtristan). Former prompts featured can be found following the song lyrics with the year the prompt is from. While I had hoped to use them as prompts in their own right, it seemed fitting to put them all together while also using Week 40's theme, "Ifs and Thens". Thank you for the wonderful inspiration, old friend!*

last call, but i'll keep nursing my
whiskey for one
i used to say i like myself better when I'm drunk
but that old me is gone
that old me is gone

i guess my best was pretty bad, hey
what i said is not what i wanted to say
but in the end, i pay for my mistakes
pay for my mistakes

all i ever wanted was to make you proud
but for all i know,
i've failed and let you down
if i could just make you smile
even for a moment
that would be just fine

it's 11:59 and here i am hoping
that you are my tomorrow morning
forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

forget ifs and thens
how or whens
what do ya say

(vocalizations)
(because i'm too lazy to type them all out)

**********
old JTR prompts featured in this song (year)
1. make you proud (2018)
2. 11:59 (2018)
3. my best was pretty bad (2018)
4. you are my tomorrow (2017)
5. whiskey for one (2017) 
6. for all i know (2017)
7. pay for my mistakes (2016)
8. not what i wanted to say (2016)
9. i like myself better when i'm drunk (2010)
10. if i could just make you smile (2009)

It's 11:59 Somewhere

"All Hat And No Cattle" (#402, 201006)

All hat and no cattle all bark and no bite
If you'd a told me I'd a stayed home tonight
Tried to be patient but I ran outta' luck
I don't seem to be able to give one single fumbling care right now

All bread and no butter all spark and no flame
House keeps on winnin' I'm losin' again
Time marches forward and the later it gits
I just keepin thinkin' how I'm sick of this charade

All mouth and no trousers all balls and no strikes
Guess you done fooled me once more than twice
Here I am lonesome and drunk in a ditch
Can't find my lighter ain't that a big let down

All sizzle no ribeye all work and no play
No steak for my Stetson no A-1 today
Sometimes you're the pigeon and sometimes the truck
But somehow you always seem to get fudge on your hands

Week 41b - All Hat And No Cattle (201006)

Ifs and Thens - Song a Week 2020, Week 41

Julia's song for Week 41 #songaweek2020. I heard a reporter on the radio say "If you're looking for a metaphor. . ." and I loved that line so much I built this song around it. I don't even remember what he was talking about when he said it. Also I recycled the woodsmoke and lilacs line from this song - https://soundcloud.com/julia-tindall-bloom/2020-i-still-believe-in-love. 
Nathan played mandolin and slide guitar.

Feel me
Heat on your cheeks 
Breath on your skin

Breathe me
take me all in
Push me back out
Draw me in again
Over and over
Over and out
And in and out and in

If you’re looking for a metaphor
I’ll be the lilacs and the woodsmoke in the spring in your backyard 

Hold me
circle me round
apply
gentle pressure

If you’re looking for a metaphor I’ll be the deep earth 
With diamonds in the rough and a heart of gold 

See me
alive and in love
wander your gaze

If you’re looking for a metaphor I’ll be the black night and
When you wish I’ll be your twinkling stars

If you’re looking for a metaphor I’ll be your bread 
and when you’re weary I’ll be your featherbed

If You're Looking For A Metaphor

Do you know that feeling when you like someone so badly you find yourself praying to every existing God they like you back? well...
*you might remember an old song by me called Skeleton, which actually sounds quite similar to this one. I realized about that while I was writing it, so I decided to include this little reference. In this context, "don't let me be a skeleton again" would mean "please don't let me be the idiot I was before when I thought I was entitled to do something wrong in the name of love" which is the main theme behind the song Skeleton.

Artwork by me, featuring my beautiful plants ❤️

Lyrics:

The blurry vision just before the curve,
the beat of my heart I just can't ignore
makes me stand right here, fading outside your door.
Because I bought my soul back from the devil,
blindly thinking this time will be better
but it won't disappear until my skin feels you near.

But I know I'm trying to kick this out of the field.
You don't need to remind me you're completely out of my league.

And they say hope is the last thing to lose,
so I will force mine to stay with you.
I'm praying to big Gods I don't believe in
cause I don't know how to make you listen to me.

Your ocean eyes making 10 feet tall waves,
makes me wanna die drowned by the sound of your name,
just please don't let me be a skeleton* again.
It's this uncertainty what kills me more,
not knowing which way you think I should go
or if I should even go there at all.

And I know I'm trying to kick this out of the field.
You don't need to remind me you're completely out of my league.

But they say hope is the last thing to lose,
so I will force mine to stay with you.
I'm praying to big Gods I don't believe in
cause I don't know how to make you listen to me.

And they say hope is the last thing to lose
so I will force mine to stay with you.
Because I bought my soul back from the devil
blindly thinking this time will be better
and it won't disappear until my skin feels you near.

Big Gods

Copyright Erin Wolf 2020

Prompt for SAW Week 41 - Ooga Looga Wyma Ryma
A little light teasing for the prompt creator, @jimtristan. ;)

i want an ooga looga
wyma ryma honey
an ooga looga 
wyma ryma dear
i know this is silly for
you to hear
but i need that ooga looga
in my ear

wyma ryma all the words
ooga looga just for the birds
a little bit of wyma ryma
for the nerds
they'll join in in their droves & herds

i want an ooga looga
wyma ryma honey
an ooga looga 
wyma ryma dear
i know this is silly for
you to hear
but i need that ooga looga
in my ear

i'm not sure what ooga looga means
it seems like James is full of beans
well i'm a ryma wyma this song
just for Eileen
who left him hanging
at the Dairy Queen

i want an ooga looga
wyma ryma honey
an ooga looga 
wyma ryma dear
i know this is silly for
you to hear
but i need that ooga looga
in my ear

i know this is silly for 
you to hear
but i need that ooga looga
in my ear

Oogla Looga Wyma Ryma

You know the tricks of many trades 
A master of none
You always say you’ll learn how to play
That old guitar but you’re just sitting in the sun 

Did you wake up in ur clothes again
All your dreams are held within the night 
Let’s just carry on Lets just pretend 
Another day is dawning in your blue eyes 

There’s still time 
Mercies rise 
theres still time
for you and I 


You know the tricks of many trades 
A master of none
You always say you’ll learn how to play
That old guitar but you’re just sitting in the sun

You ve left a trail of gifts behind
Still waiting to be seen
Ur all too quick now to believe in  the next big thing

still time SAW

I remember when you said "let's not let this get complicated"
"Let's keep it sweet and simple," but I was uneducated

Weeks turned into months, a town into what we made it
A garden grows where it wants to

And you maintained that you were leaving, you didn't know the dance called separated
And I knew there was another life, on another coast, that waited

But you were too kind when I played the song called fascinated
A river runs where it flows through
Whether or not you want it to

And it was sweet, and I was simple, and I was captivated
And now it's gone, and I am bitter, and things are compli-doot-doot-cated
 
I remember when you said "let's not let this get complicated"
And I know now, what you meant then
But I'd still fall for it, if you said it again
The heart wants what it wants
Whether or not you want it to

And it was sweet, and I was simple, and I was captivated
And now it's gone, and I am bitter, and things are compli-doot-doot-cated

And it was sweet, and I was simple, and I was captivated
And now it's gone, and I am bitter, and things are compli-doot-doot-cated

Bitter And Complicated - Song a Week 2020, Week 42

Sometimes, we fight  - rarely, thankfully
‘Cause I'm not made for that
Though I seem to hold my ground
Inside I'm slipping back
I find every time

When you tell me that
I'm a sewer rat
A little part of me agrees with you and
Kind of thinks it might be true..and when
You SAY you can't believe 
that you stay with me
That part it can't believe it either and
I wonder if you understand

We're both normal fucked up grown ups
With our triggers too
I'm just trying to own my partner
Like I always do
I find every time

When you tell me that
I'm a sewer rat
A little part of me agrees with you and
Kind of thinks it might be true..and when
You SAY you can't believe 
that you stay with me
That part it can't believe it either and
I wonder if you understand

That part will just repeat 
those things you said oh endlessly - 
Endlessly repeat them in my mind
And for every moment that I 
hear you laying in to me
I lay into myself a hundred times

Though I've known I'm like this
Years now, still this parts the same
Thinking if I beat you to it, somehow I'll be safe
only leads back me to this place

When you tell me that
I'm a sewer rat
A little part of me agrees with you and
Kind of thinks it might be true..and when
You SAY you can't believe 
that you stay with me
That part it can't believe it either and
I wonder if you understand

Sewer Rat

Nashville songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, Godin Guitars Official Artist and Founder of www.songaweek.org.

His catalog of 500+ titles includes collaborations with hit writers Mark Narmore, Elliott Park, Steve Dean, and Pete & Pat Luboff, among others internationally from England to Australia.

Redding's music has landed cuts by numerous recording artists including Dan Whitehouse, Emma Gale, and David Easterling.