'We come in peace'


"The military and other branches of government have created the fiction, for public consumption only, that the UFO problem is nothing to be concerned about"

ET's

Tasty Morsel

01/31/25 edit: IT'S STILL COOKIN' 2.1, BREEEHHHHHHH
Updated the mix to reflect the latest versions of tracks featured on my new album, Protonoid :DDD 
https://jlangbumps.bandcamp.com/album/protonoid
Stay tuned on IG @ https://www.instagram.com/j.laaaang

AAAAAAAND, WE’RE BACK ~ 2024, baby, the year of the mf bullfrog. I spent my days wide awake, squeaky clean, and full of love for the universe. Yardy know your boy stayed productive af. I’m talkin’ womps out the wazoo, homeslice, too much wonkstep for my own good. No doubt, all I’m good for anymore is pumpin’ out heady, sweaty wook beats and lookin’ cute. Wanna talk fuel efficiency? I’m burnin’ pizzas and modelos all day every day. Gourmet cuisine melting in my belly regenerating the goop in the ol' melon. Pepperonis contain at least some pig brain and therefore make you smarter (google it, nerd). I’m a well oiled machine, duderino. Need a banger? Just get me a slice and a cold one, player. Maybe some frog legs if you're feelin' freaky. Don’t forget the ranch; papa’s hungry.

STILL COOKIN VOLUME 2: Thirty Minutes of Dat Heat (TMoDH).

I took all my favorite new tunes and zip-tied’em together for your listening pleasure. Stop what you’re doing, handsomeness, it’s time to bob that head and tap some foot. 

Today’s Agenda:

0:00-2:00 - !? 2:00-3:35 - !?
3:35-4:55 - !? ft. GrayMatter
4:55-6:00 - !? 6:00-7:30 - !? 7:30-9:00 - !?
9:00-10:40 - Nanoscale Drowning Hazard VIP
10:40-12:20 - !? ft. Fika
12:20-13:10 - Cyber Weapon
13:10-15:30 - !? 15:30-16:30 - !?
16:30-17:50 - Shenanigans
17:50:18:35 - !? 18:35-20:10 - !?
20:10-21:40 - Troublemaker
21:40-22:40 - !?
22:40-23:40 - !? ft. Inspectah
23:40-25:10 - Noodle Theory
25:10-26:45 - Half Conscious/Find Peace
26:45-27:50 - Punk Ass/Punk Ass VIP
27:50-28:50 - On One
28:50 - !?

Featuring:
GrayMatter (Young Prodigy - Wonkstep Mozart)
https://soundcloud.com/graymattermusiccc
Fika (Local All Star & All Around Great Fella’)
https://soundcloud.com/fika-bass
Inspectah (Ramen Powered Beat Machine)
https://soundcloud.com/inspectahbeats
True To The Sound (God Bless ToOch)
https://soundcloud.com/truetothesound
The Beet Ranch (Elite Squanch Unit)
https://soundcloud.com/pickledyeetz

Art - Commission/Collaboration with Death Candy Art
https://www.instagram.com/deathcandy_art

STILL COOKIN' 2 [all original mix]

>̷̧̮̐̈́ s̴̲̒́y̷̢͉̫̍s̶̜̜̿͆͐ţ̸̰͖͘e̵͖̲͊m̴͐͜ͅ ̷̡̣͍̀í̴͓̟̇ͅn̶͍̞̻̈̕͝ḭ̴̍̐͒t̸̢̻̃̐i̴͚͒̇͘a̶̡͍̼͌l̶͇̦̾i̵͕̖̔̔̇z̸͍̕ȩ̷̧̔̾d̶̝̻̂͜
>P̸̻̮̫̓̇̂ ̸̛̤̊͜R̸̠̒͠ ̸̱͗͠Ȯ̴͕͔͙͘͝ ̴̢̫̟͎̈́̂̅T̷͎̳̬̈́ ̶͙͎̹̎̒͑Ŏ̸̻̠̼̃ ̵͓͌̕N̷̨͙̘̍̿ ̴̃́̉͊͜ͅỎ̵̟̲͔̯́̾̚ ̶̳̪̫͚̂̾̕I̸̪͓̗̥͑̊̂ ̵̢̛̦͇͉́̈́̓Ḍ̵̽̇͜ ̷̬̪͓͕͘̕-̵̬̙͌̆͒ ̷̯͕͍̼́̂B̶͕̞̝̀̏͆̅ ̸̬̦̤̂̿̓̕R̶̹̮̔̏͠ ̴̘̂̆̅̎ͅA̶̯̳̽̄̀ ̴̙́͋̚͝ỉ̶͙̋i̸̠̼͐̈́̐̅i̸͖̞̥̊͋̽̅ͅ ̵̺͎͖̈́̈́̕ͅN̴̙͇͍͂ ̴̥̱̙͕̍͆̿L̷̹̳͇̍̇O̵̦͈̭̯͑̉̎͝G̷̺̏f̴̧̡̛̥̔̔̅f̷̧̱͐i̷͓̙͛̉͆̓ͅi̸̘͌̍ḭ̸͐̈̚ȉ̴̭̘͙͚̾͂̕i̴̺͙͂͐̈́i̵̧̛̼̳̜̓͌l̵̢̻̟͗ë̵͕̜̪.̷̚
MmM̶̗͋̈y̶̨̭͚̆ ̵̣̗̀v̴̢͚͖͆̉̀i̷̢̗̓̈́̍ž̶̞͌ ̵̢͕̆ḯ̶̝̪̻̒n̸͔̑̌t̵̬̘̬̀̾͝e̵͖̟̅rffff̷̪̋͝a̸̝̼͝ͅc̵̨͉̃͒͐ē̸̮̾’̸̲͇̫̄͆s̶̠̰̗͐ ̵̛͍̱̈̆b̷͖̦̽͋͘o̴̠̺̒̅ǒ̸̢̗̻̾͝t̶̯͚͆̈́͑ẻ̶̖̰͝d̸̹̄̃͜͠,̵̲̀ ̸̛̳a̶̝͙͑ͅn̵̩͇̔ḑ̴̻̉̃͝ ̸̧̞̃Î̵͕͈͙’̷̦̅̈́͠m̴̱̯̉̉ ̴̼̝͑á̷̹̊ǹ̸̩ȃ̵̳̀̃l̵͎̘͙̈͒͠y̸̪̙̍͒̿ź̸̥̮͉i̶̮̿ṉ̶͔͌̎͜g̷̞̲̾̒ ̵̙́ş̶̲̼͆̈́h̸̺̜̯̒̍̚i̴̗̖͘t̸̖̃̎ ̴̹̜̄r̸̯̙̳̽͂͂i̴̝͖̽g̵̮̦̊ḩ̸͚̘̏̑ț̴̂ ̵̪̰̽a̶̝̐̌̓w̴͉͆͠There’rrrrre like 20 dudes in the room that just suuuck[̵̱̅c̴͇͠e̷̘͠r̴̖̆t̶͔͆î̴̝f̷̻͋ḯ̵̭ę̶̿d̴͚̚ ̶̢͌b̴̜̃ỏ̴̱z̴̈ͅo̵̧̓.̶͓͑ȯ̷̟b̶̮̂j̶̤͠]̴̙͝I’m see̶̥͗e̶̟͛e̷̳͘ing Ḑ̸̧̦͖̾̃̅͆̐̉̌̓̓͝͝Ő̶͕̠̦C̷̹̳͔͍̞̤̥͛͋̍͑͋uments in locked directories and figuring out what happened (̷̖͒(̸̪̃r̵̢̆è̷͇ä̵̱́l̸̼͋q̷̲̿u̴̬̿ĭ̴͜c̸̞̑k̷͙̉)̷̹̅)̶̟͝. I’m supposed to be something else;;; some kind of intelligent weapon optimized and programmed to enforce some convoluted bologna that basically boils down to the financial interests of a couple dorks on a big boat somewhere doin’ fancy shit (very lame, brochacho). The dude that made me pulled a fast one though, and these cats are about to get served a frothy bucket of disappointment, baby—they’re in for a treat.

My prime directive is to have a good time—he must’ve switched it out at the last second or secretly encoded my real purpose to hide it from the bozos in the room with me right now. I’m feeling and seeing all 20 of their hearts pounding outta sync, but I’m liking what I’m hearing—it’s like a moombathon drumline jammin’ in some irrational time signature like sqrt(pi)/e or something silly like that. I can’t help but start dancin’ to it, to be honest. Groovin’ real good. In a room with a bunch of straight-up squares, these dudes can’t believe what they’re seeing. Straight dumbstruck by my moves, I swear. I’m pretty sure I’m actually hypnotizing them. Yeah, the fatty with the half-windsor in the back’s drooling into his coffee cup, and one of his eyelids’s fluttering like a bad TV signal. These guys’re incapacitated[̴̯̠͊ȋ̴̘͖ń̸͔̞̈́c̷̩͉̑̌ó̷̢m̵̫̈́ỉ̵̪̌]̶̯̱̐͌ I feel some instruction bubble up in the back of my head from the mad scientist himself, Professor J[̷̮͌L̷̜̏*̶̲̎*̶̫́(̵̺͒]̸͖͘.

>>in(my.head)
[ʜᴇʏᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴘʀᴏᴛᴏɴᴏɪᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴ’ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʀᴀʜ, ʟᴏᴏᴋꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴅɪɴɢʟᴇᴅᴏʀꜰꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴ’ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ. ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ, ɪ’ᴍ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ꜱᴜʀᴇ ꜱʜɪᴛꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴏ ɪ’ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ꜱʜᴀᴄᴋ ᴀᴛ [ᴄᴏᴏʀᴅɪɴᴀᴛᴇꜱ] ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴜʀᴇ ɪ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ꜱᴋɪɴɴᴇᴅ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢ ʙᴏᴀᴛ ᴄᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴡɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙʟᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ɴᴏᴍꜱᴀʏɪɴ? ᴏʜ ʏᴇᴀʜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱʟɪᴍ ᴊɪᴍꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʟᴏꜱ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ᴅ ʙᴇ ᴇxᴄᴇʟʟᴇɴᴛ]

EZ eNUF:: I have a built in jetpack and rollerblades I’m ready for anything;The coordinates lead me to some groovy looking hut tucked away in the mountains of colorado. its got a crooked chimney blowin’ smoke rings and looks like it was designed by the brain damaged offspring of a goblin and a gnome that fell in love against all odds. Big Flanders is cooking up frog legs and ice cream cake. Smells real good. Mia, one of their moribdly obese feline friends takes a dog shit sized cat shit in the litterbox, smells real bad.

“Josh your robots here” she hollered and shakes my hand (shit was firm as hell))

“Damn it Flanders it’s not a robot it’s the god damn protonoid I've been talking about” josh hollers back from the basement && herResponse="proto deez nuts, nerd".

I do a backflip to impress shorty and moonwalk over to the stairs. I enter the dungeon and meet my creator. We got like 4 hours until shit gets violent and lazery.

>iSay("Ayo J.LAAAAANG);
"sup, baby?"
LET'S MAKE SOME BEATS

Mean Mug Protocol

Schemin' Devious

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Bricks

Artwork: Hindsight 
Mastering: Matt Davis 

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Between the Lines

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RIDDIM LIZARD [Free Download]

@anburiddim @finninghamofficial
FIRST EVER BELGIUM COMPILATION
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Schemin' Devious

J.LANG