In the Name of the Blues

I woke up screaming, “They’re breaking through the gate!”
Grabbed my bat and dog, said, “Buddy, this is fate!”
Turned the corner, ready to fight for my life,
But they’re chewing on my hedge like it’s a salad bar night!

They’re moaning loud, “Grains!”
And “Broccoli!”
One’s chewing on my fern,
And another's eating my tree!

[Chorus]
It’s the vegan zombie apocalypse!
They don’t want brains, they want arugula dips!
They’re tearing through the garden, munchin’ like fiends,
Oh lord, they just devoured my pinto beans!

The city’s gone wild, it’s a leafy war zone,
They’re stripping all the parks down to sticks and bones.
They passed by the butcher, didn’t take a glance,
But the farmer’s market? They ate all of the stands!

They’re groaning, “Lettuce!”
And “Kale Smoothie!”
The compost pile’s alive,
And it’s coming for me!

[Chorus]
It’s the vegan zombie apocalypse!
They don’t crave flesh, just celery sticks!
Forget your shotgun, forget your aim,
They’re feasting on shrubs and your houseplants’ pain!

They ripped the ivy off my wall,
My ficus fell—oh, the horror, y’all!
One bit my cactus, screamed in regret,
Then chugged a green juice to forget!

“Oh no, not my bonsai!”
“Not the lawn,oh..why?!”
“Save the spinach, run for the kale!”
“Too late! They joined forces with the garden snail!”

[Chorus]
It’s the vegan zombie apocalypse!
The forests fall, the salads slip!
They don’t want brains, just beetroot stew,
And now they’re coming for your plants and tofu too!

The world’s gone green in the worst of ways,
Zombies chanting “PLANTS FOR DAYS!",
Guess we’ll survive, but here’s the twist,
We’ll starve to death in a vegan mist!

Ketchup Tears ©2025 PicPro Studio

Vegan Zombie Apocalypse

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