Hall $ Oats - Man Eater(Joey Bravo Edit)

                 logline
                         dateline

from:                 @NSA.us.gov
to: Gen. E. W. Manshower, Military Institute of Musical Aggression
cc: CIA Co-Chair Jim Plentiful-Grapetree

re: DJ Joey Bravo

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS DEEMED CLASSIFIED UNDER THE BREAKBEET ACT 2009 (S. 12, VIII, 12-18)

Gentlemen, 

It has come to my attention you are researching the history of codename DJ JOEY BRAVO, and it is imperative you cease and desist in such actions. Subject Bravo, has been a field operative for us in the use of audio-peace induction for several years. His unique talents are in danger if ever verified globally. Nevertheless, in the interest of co-operation between our departments, I can provide you with the following details about Joey Bravo, bearing in mind, even with our resources, the veracity of this information is difficult to determine.
We believe the subject was born to merchant sailors near the Ivory Coast sometime in the mid-80s. Then known as Joey S, Bravo displayed an ability with auditory entrancement  from even a young age. Somalian traders have legends of the “Oog Timo Shaab” (“Fire Haired Boy”), who they say could cause the waves to dance with love.
Sightings are spotty after that. We do know a red-headed teenage prodigy was recorded leading an impromptu rave in Sarajevo in October of 1993. The event culminated in a 300-person orgy. 
We also believe he may have been involved in the 1997 disappearance of all the first-born teenagers in Focktown, a small town on the Southern tip of Spain. Witnesses say the children danced off into the dark woods one night, following “el hombre de jengibre” (“The Ginger Man”). 
Occasional “wobbly bass” originating within the jungles of Belize led to workers discovering Joey Bravo living with a previously undiscovered tribe in more stuff that’s not anything but we need to fill up space  2000. None survived.
A roughly triangular archipelago, 100 km off of Australia's eastern coast, is known as Bravo's Corner to locals; though there appears to be no known origins of the name, nor any scientific explanation as to why the area has an unusually large number of planes and boats disappear while travelling through. 
From intelligence we’ve gathered through our sources in foreign covert agencies, and various sexy, big-titted spies, we believe his clothing is custom-tailored in Florence. His turntables crafted from fine metals and porcelains in Israel. His needles folded and forged by legendary Masamune swordsmiths in Japan.  
The subject was last spotted in Nova Scotia, Canada. His intent within that isolated province remain unknown, but it appears he has been crafting new materials...building. Unsettling though it may be, Bravo appears to be preparing for some event yet to occur. 
With this rough history in mind, it is of the utmost international security that all projects worked on by Joey Bravo remain strictly beyond top secret. Gentlemen, as far as the world is concerned, DJ Joey Bravo does not exist. For all our sakes, let's hope it stays that way.
 

xxx and xxx,
 xxx xxx xxx, xxx, xxx
Office of the Exterior Weapons, National Security Agency
Washington, D.C.


Aired Mixed Gas Commercial Diver!
Underwater Welder! 