Ceedaii - Pilot

I woke up from a nightmare feeling all kinds of depressed. I looped a beat by engelwood and came up with this and a couple other things I did out of trying to escape the thoughts. Im getting there guys. Thank for listening and showing love.

Engelwood if you find this and hate me for using the beat or looping it I am sorry.

I had to get some things off my chest.

Other songs included in these releases are wake up , still ( a remix of a g eazy song ) , and " doing well "

Just some demos I did today.

Unedited and uncut.

Just some emotions.

Thanks guys

FATHERFATHER (prod. engelwood & slim tone) [demo]

Atlas - Alarm (prod. No Sentences)

HUGE SHOUT OUT TO DANNY FOR MIXING, ENGINEERING,  AND A SHIT LOAD OF AWESOME BACKGROUND VOCALS. Get at this man for recording sessions, he's amazing to work with. 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3VPBWZ0yh6AomC7JaMmV5w
fighterpilotatl@gmail.com



okay, make it rain like irma jose
getting brain like its my birthday
eat my bitch like its chipotle
I ain't rich, but I know one day
Imma getta benz all my friends get a hyundai
Imma get a chick bring her friends from the runway
Imma get a crib and a pit
bull and a big
pool and a sick view
Imma get jewels get jet fuel
Imma throw a punches, not pull
Imma smoke blunts and just cool it
Imma hooligan, smoother like a smoothie
huge like a movie, I'm busting your block
I do it, with no effort to it,
I know that you know that I do it a lot

Ko ko ko
knock em out like I'm Mcgreg- oh wait
I mean Mayweather, I do better
got a million put it on the plate
got the studio in a wide estate
got a smoking girl, you just tryna vape
got half a mind to take you life away
but my life fucking fine, so I might refrain
cuz I just want it all, and a faster car
I just wanna ball when I'm at the bar
I don't really care how mad they are
no one out here going half as hard 
so mash the gas, and pass the grass
surpass the average whackest ghost
rappers, out here I'm out the goat
no one out here even know,
boots its stomping on his fucking foes


I am this materialistic
I buy and I buy and I think that in time
my possessions will help me to deal with
the vacancy aching me, cause of complaceny
everyone fake to me
everyone fake to me
screaming it out
angrily
popping wheelies
tryna stop the feelies
want my money
they don't want the real me
I just want a stomach 
full of drugs and mealies
I don't need you all 
to fucking love me really
It was always music music
from the fucking start
was a fucking loser
but I made it art
I tried to care
but they made it hard
Imma make my money
and forget my heart

mr. brightside.

The rocks on the bottom are cold when you first touch. 
Been on ‘em so long, it doesn’t bother me so much. 
I wake up and salvage what I can of my dreams 
before I splash some water onto my mood and have to leave. 
I take a step out, breathe. Sigh to release the pressure.
Physically, I’m present but my eyes keep tryna exit 
out the window. Picture myself anywhere but here. 
Need to turn off autopilot and remember I can steer 
but my floorboards creak. 
I haven’t had a normal conversation in like a week. 
Just “No, I don’t need a bag,” 
and “Thanks for swiping my card,” 
then try to get out as fast as I can 'fore I need to talk. 
Hurry the walk back before my body falls apart. 
Drop down onto my bed like why did I even start. 
As I slip back into slumber, I wonder 
where the why of it's all gone.
I keep coming back ‘cause I've been going so long.

The more I learn, 
the less I feel I know it.
Feelin’ like the less you know, 
the more I feel alright.
But somethin’ ‘bout that voice I hear reminds me 
that it’s only the beginning tonight.

I wanna write a love song but I can’t 
‘cause I can’t be around a girl without apologizing in advance 
for all the mistakes that I haven’t made, 
problems I haven’t caused. 
I self sabotage before I even get a chance to offer 
my hand in yours on a romantic walk through a national park.
I’d give you half of my heart if I wasn’t standing so far,
if I didn’t flash up my guard automatically 
when actually, I’d trade every star in the galaxy 
if it meant that the gravity 
couldn’t grab you and steal you away.
I just wish I had a reason to be feeling this way.
I just wish I had an address to send these letters to. 
‘Stead I fold them into airplanes, 
throw them and hope that they get to you. 
I wanna fall so you can catch me.
Cry into each other’s arms until it passes. 
I wish I could say that I’ll make you happy but I can’t.
I’ll try to figure out how ‘til I get the chance.

The more I learn, 
the less I feel I know it.
Feelin’ like the less you know, 
the more I feel alright.
But somethin’ ‘bout that voice I hear reminds me 
that it’s only the beginning to life.

Tears don’t mean a thing in the pouring rain.
I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. I got it all to gain.

the more i learn [prod. by mr. master]

"Cold soul you know everybody loves you
Even so you can't see the way you're s'posed to go
You know everything that glitters isn't gold
Their faces turn to stone
The black denim jeans with the small pockets
You couldn't afford much you wore what your mom gotcha
You took ya sister out chilling out the playground
the local moms around so you went on for a walk
Just a stroll you told yourself somewhere you didn't have to talk
Cause all the doctors in the world just seem to think you need a cott
And all the pills and lack of sleep can't beat a trip around the block
And you're in limbo falling yet there's not a sight of ground
A place where tears may often fall but all your sobs don't make a sound
And all the light becomes the dark and all the hate just starts to pound
Upon that lock you set to guard your heart with pieces never found
And then you saw her there girl you dreamt to be your princess
Not one you had to save but one that seemed she'd often listen
You're getting optimistic for someone you haven't met yet
But I digress let's keep the camera rolling the best bet
To progress on the story and let's hope you have a check plan
But, you're getting caught up you didn't notice her sneak up
You were getting so startled she thought it was hilarious
You thought you were anxious then but now it's getting scarier
You start to stutter grays may change to blue
You can feel the butterflies they're getting tough to chew
You feel like you might blow up but instead you'll just take flight
And then she'll grab you with her grace and you'll embrace her tiny light
Cause she's so perfect even past the blemish on her surface
You can see the soul that's chipped and she thought she should hide
It's so painful, seeing someone lovely get so stopped up
All the shine they bring is chopped up but you can see the radiance
You just hold her hand and say you'll be there through the rainy bits
She just smiles blissfully you think you're finally making friends
You realize that you're staring into space or in her eyes
And then you're standing all alone except she's right there by your side
And now it's different, nobody is there for you but her
You're falling down through limbo yet the darkness starts to blur
All the words you kept inside in silent solitude she heard
And she takes you to a world and tries to tell you jump head first
But you're so tentative you forget your sentences
You mumble out regrets and fears she stumbles down the steps and then
You might go to catch her you don't really know
but the next thing you remember is the darkness turn to stone
And you're standing in a castle this endless fight with loneliness has ended
Your problems haven't gone away but this is the beginning
You walk into the throne room yes the elephants apparent
She's the queen you've always wanted and you're staring
Hoping you could muster up the courage too
Take her hand in ways to show that you could never hurt her like
Ways that she's been hurt before you'd put it on your life
Because you've never met someone who could just remove all your strife
and in the blink of an eye you're sitting back in the park
You must've fallen asleep but now you're falling apart
Cause she would stitch up the seams she would light up the dark
You didn't notice there was someone beside you right in the park
You looked around and she looked over she was looking like art
You recognize her by face you wanna talk but she starts
She says she needs a new friend Her family had just moved in
She offers up her hand and you take it like a new man
She's looking so vibrant you're getting all silent
She looks into your eyes and so you finally have decided to
Grow old, even though, everything that turns gray, turns to stone
You know that you want to take it on, you just have a fire lit inside you right at home
Oh
Cold soul, it gets warmer, you could find what you want right around the corner
And gold falls right when you wanna make a little change
Turn concrete into mortar
Will you"

Cold Soul ft. love-sadKiD

On Spotify, iTunes, Google Play, etc.

Prod. @yungmaple
Mixed and Mastered by @iamhrtbrk
Cover Art by @iamhrtbrk

afterlife (prod. 🍁yungmaple🍁) [Available on Spotify & iTunes]

literally follow my main @love-sadkid if this song blows up again for no reason

Seasons

Lyric video out now!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b_HOtUKcak

feat. @ibr
prod. @kastrosplace
mix. @ibr
art. me

Lyrics:
It's been about thirty two minutes or so/
and I'm clutching foolish optimism like she'll slip through the door/
and sit down with a story, telling of traffic -
"Would you care for a refill?"/
yeah, thank you, sorry I tend to overshare with people/
it's just I've had quite the crush on her for - "I'll be right back with your drink"/
oh well, it's only been sixty-one minutes I think/
clink ice cubes with a straw, the table's candles forming puddles/
rest my fist below my jaw, her car could be the source of trouble/
but she hasn't read the multitude of texts I sent, and I won't reprehend/
like it could be an emergency, or she went to bed, maybe she just -/
"Sorry to interrupt, but are you ready to order?
we're closing soon, I recommend the lobster on arugula, the dish is new and-"/
No, I'll get the fettuccine, please, with chicken/
text her one last time, it's urgent, damn, she knows the evening's ticking/ 
like I'm a decent guy, well, at least from what I've heard/
I don't think I'll find the courage to stand up and say goodbye/

and I'm still waiting, wait here oh so patient/
wait here all long night, resolve never waning/
and still I'm waiting, wait here oh so patient/
wait here all long night, I'm waiting and waiting/

I'm waiting for her to reply to my text/
I know it says "seen" but maybe she didn't see it just yet/
"I guess, but you've been here for three days, that doesn't seem strange to you?"  
So what? She's late, and this table's purely made for two/
my plate of food, has grown a bit cold in the past month/ 
but it's not too far fetched for someone to run late and catch up/
any second now, she'll- 
"Do you want this to go, or should I just throw it out, it's been a year-"/
No thanks, no point in acting like it's over now/
I know my beard's an overgrowth and I'm becoming one with this chair/
but a decade's nothing, I won't be the one who's under-prepared/
for the future, cause she'll arrive and we'll survive the ruins/
until time folds in upon itself, so what's your two cents?/
...hm, I guess he left or he closing up the business/
I can hear metallic thumping and explosions in the distance/
a stray dog is chewing on a human bone right by the entrance/
there's barbaric men outside and all they're toting make-shift weapons/
I just think it's odd she's hasn't tried to phone or send a message/
but I'll wait right here 'til time as we know it is non-existent/
I'll just wait here and drink until the last one's dry/
I mean c'mon really, I'm a stand up guy/

Spotify!

Stand Up Guy (ft. ibrahim)

Marc Indigo - Back To Basics(remix)

LYRICS:

I miss finding a sort of solace in the rain
 I miss crying Im so exhausted of the pain
I miss silence its something talking in my brain 
an inner monologue that up and takes my oxygen away
I miss being happy at church 
The preacher lied to me
Since I was 9 I’ve had existential anxiety
I miss Lincoln logs and see saws and hide and seek
They told me grow up be a man I never really tried to be

I miss when back in school my adjective was gifted
 Now that I’m in college I feel average and conflicted 
I don’t think I have it in me to be actively persistent 
I’m busy convincing myself I’m an actual musician 
I miss when other rappers showed me what they make
 They think I rode in on their wave but I’m just floating in their wake
 I dip my toes in just to show them I can hold my own and take 
a couple notes and ask some questions but I never show restraint 
I miss my girl I miss my friends I miss my foes 
I miss my life I miss the highs amidst the lows
 I miss the times when I felt like I had a home
 I miss when crowds of people didn’t make me feel alone
 I never sleep till I’m collapsing from exhaustion
 I was following my dreams with hella passion but I lost it
 Now this music just a coping mechanism do it often 
Got to throw myself in something more productive than a coffin

fuck it I don't care no more I've given up on subtlety
cause If I don't say it out loud they scream it under me
Yeah I said what I said so let it fucking be
Its like God said drown then never let me up to breathe
So look, I'm fucking manic depressive
I have my good days and bad weeks 
That lack any spectrum
Getting offended takes some effort so I'm passive aggressive
And I ain't sad I'm indifferent I watch my life from a distance  
I put the par in pariah
 I put the sigh in messiah 
People praise my old music back when I was a liar
 I put my life on the line and I wanna take it all back
 Wish I could think how I act but its acting and fuck I’m tired

manic depressive

depressive (prod. depression sweater)

Jon C.  I make beats and raps. I want you to listen to them, and feel better. Thanks.

DM me up for super affordable Beats/mixing/mastering!

Ok

Jon C

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