Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Jay Chay, Azia, garbageGothic and Freshy Kanal as The Employees
littleflecks as Olimar
Commander Jacob as Louie
PE$O PETE as The Company
Swizkii as The President
Fightmarker as Watto

The Employees:
I'm scanning two space monkeys standing in front of me.
Yo, I think they're far from lethal, but it seems we got company!
Oh, it's Olimar and Louie? Yeah, I think that they're from Smash Bros.
Nah, they're just the backburner to Nintendo's backbones!
So let me run in mask off; I've bashed in the Brackens!
I capped off the mad dogs, left Nutcrackers cracked in!
My shotty gonna blast off, unlike your space trash bin,
Then cash in the scrap shop the skulls of these captains!
I'd blow a bubble just to blow through your defense!
You'd be better saved from trouble if you'd plant a Chia Pet!
'Cause you need saving from your pals when you're dropped in hot shit!
We're scoring Victory Royales, 'cause we're hot at drop ships!
We stepped up like a mine! We blew up in the scene!
While you haven't been in motion since New Play for the Wii!
Yeah, you left behind your family; I'm sure that they miss you.
But your marriage problems? That's a Dandori Issue!

Olimar and Louie:
This is Captain Olimar, Log 3-6.
We found a game from Twitch Clips that's already been eclipsed.
I've wrestled Wraiths, Wollywogs, and Proggs that would be smoking ya,
So it's no problem roasting on the ghost of Phasmophobia!
So if we're gonna have a space race with this space waste,
We conquered every cave on the planet where our base laid.
You run in unfinished basements 'til you get your base pay,
'Til your player base realized they can't stand your base game!
You wouldn't run if Backrooms didn't walk.
Your atmosphere sucked so much, it went out your airlock!
You'd turn into pink mist to avoid a pink slip.
I'm a master dog trainer, while you're the Company's bitch!
Louie, wanna add to this debate?
Uh, I'm really hungry, but it looks like you just ate.
That green fish you're holding looks really delicious.
I wanna eat that with grilled leeks and some spinach!

The Employees:
What? You're not even battle rapping! Guys, hold up...
It's almost 5 PM, and we still haven't hit the quota!
We can take these Smeagols back soon as I shut their mouth up!
Call you Andrew Hocotate, the way you pretend to be Alph— AAAARGH!
Call me a Bulborb, because I eat this beat like Pikmin!
...It's right behind me, isn't IIIIIIII—!?!
Well, let me shoot my shot!
...Okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure they all just... died.
So I'm just gonna... fuck off. Goodbye!

Olimar and Louie:
Uh, well, that was annoying. Can we leave?
Yeah, that didn't take much work for them all to be deceased.
I've seen better survival instincts coming from our Pikmin.
I guess they— INCOMING MESSAGE. YOU'RE RECEIVING A TRANSMISSION.

The Company:
WELL, your poor performance risks the Company from going under!
Louie, I do not think you comprehend real hunger!
Watch out, only watchful eyes; money and metal on board!
Stop playin'! Work with me? Your life is your reward!
I need sustenance; satiate and work until your brain coarse,
Or else we'll both have a Hocotate main course!
Little fat spaceman lost on an assignment!
Bodies hard to find; what you signed on your fine print!
My company is righteous; really balance on the line!
Little Oli only work to see President's pockets lined!

The President:
Make way for the President! You talkin' 'bout my business?
People pay for your game and pass out in five minutes!
You send your crews to moons, hoping they come back,
Because your tentacles are too lazy to touch grass!
I don't give two ships 'bout what your minions are bringing!
The next time your bell rings, it's me swingin'!
Fire your guys; I'll watch you croak on the comms!
Wanna survive? Give a fiery blow to my hog!

Pikmin vs. Lethal Company - Rap Battle!

Jose