hiraeth

oh its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore

i just cant tell you enough
my thoughts been opening up
i never said it enough 
my heart was filled with your love

i would sacrifice my love just to be on your side
gimme just another day so that i can reside
while youre waiting at the gates, ill find somewhere to hide

i need somewhere to hide
i know youre in the fields looking at me over the light
if theres a chance that you hear me singing into the night
i need to tell you that ill love you till the end of the line

you know i always cared about you
i might sleep in water hang my head whilel i cry
been 2 years now im lost without you
take me to a forest filled with water and pine

its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore

how could you take away my best friend
ive got no one to trust
ill see your face in the end
your words fill my stomach making me who i am
you wouldnt have left me, i know ill see you again

enough

how am i still alive after all this bullshit
take me down from the ceiling
im holding onto something
i dont have nothing
why dont you ask me how i feel or how i care
running out of time its running bare

my loves not good at all
just be patient when you call
lll sleep forevermore
youd only wake me when youre bored
im drowning through the floor
you only save me when your alone

say that you hate me i wont break
sitting in agony, dont change
say that you love me, its too late
cant even look at my face

how could you do that to somebody who loves you
go and lie 
and say you dont even mean to
i didnt wanna
no i dont wanna leave
you know i wanna
know i wanna believe you

who do you think i am ? 
you where never just friends its all adding up
told me i should watch myself
well maybe you should wash his fragrance off

how did we get so far
just to runaway 
like we never moved at all
tell me where it all went wrong
stop the pain by lining your stomach with alcohol

how could you do that to somebody who loves you
go and lie 
and say you dont even mean to
i didnt wanna
no i dont wanna leave
you know i wanna
know i wanna believe you

forevermore

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

think 
that you know
i could die
and be set in stone love
you dont know me
ur so broken
i see ur eyes roll back 
youve lost it

half my face is in the mud
im getting nauseous i cant breathe well
looking in disgust as if i wasnt meant to sleep yet
turning into anger 
watch my face is going bright red
turning into nothing see my life is getting violent

this is not what i had in mind
youve taken all but the worst in life
but ur ruined
now switching sides
all while ur watching me die

must be a sign
must be a sign
could talk to you for hours i dont have to lie
could be ur life
and you could tell me mine
dont have to be alone for you to watch me die

see my blood runs thick on the cotton-dye
if you never spoke to me id still consider you mine <3
im feeling weak could you check all of my vitals
can tell by my body im getting violent

this is not what i had in mind
youve taken all but the worst in life
but ur ruined
now switching sides
all while ur watching me die

violent

let me in
im tired of who i have been
i need you i dont care
id destroy any air
throw my life away for you
till i decay for you
my love has changed for you
no i wont stay home

i can hear your heartbeat now its so loud
take my hand love and pull me down
i know what you think of me now
youre taking away all the sound
tried to set the bar so high 
so nobody can see your eyes
all mine
nobody could be your guy
i advise you never talk less you wanna die

i can not be beaten 
at the same time im useless
he just wants your heart 
but he wont know how to use it
hes stealing my style and hes tryna call it music
show that to my girl cause shell find that shit amusing

if im being honest, think im in over my head
your talking shit about me, your careers already dead
ur so funny
ur so funny
you think i give a shit

keep on pitching down ur voice when you deliver the mix

you only ask for features
wonder why i dont reply
you treat me like a number
a number all in your eye
wont treat me like im normal
expecting thousands of likes
thought u where a friend
ur putting on a disguse

maybe if you listen to me once in a while
youd all understand this is the best i can give
more that i try, the more i feel i should quit
if ur looking for an answer, buried under my skin
told you everything thats wrong with me
and
everybodys still expecting the best of me
ive been the best i can be
im a mess 
and lonely

fuck with me for the last time
this the last night
fights getting outta hand now
but its alright
fuck living 
ima die now
its about time
sheltering my mind out from the outside

ill throw that bitch in the air
you know you never had to lie
and if gravitys fair 
youll break the bones all in your spine
cause what happened to you
should never spiral in my life
im deaf to ur shit
cant hear u talking all the time

far beneath the plane
this is where i belong
cause ive been here decaying
and collecting in dust
and i dont know how to tell you love
im feeling the worst
its all gone wrong
love
im fuelling a curse

newmaker III

You should kill me, kill me, kill me
Not the real me, real me, real me
I don’t see him
Breathing, breathing
You don’t need him, need him, need him oh
And I always think about you when im sitting in the dark
Swear I feel your breath putting pressure on my arm
But what the fuck do I know
Im sat here waiting for some truth to be told

Better, know you could be wetter
Pussy so bad he pulled a weapon
My love I don’t know what you’re selling
Too bad im bought in descension

Oh god I don’t know what to get
Two minds im not losing again
What the fuck you think you’re doing in bed
I look away and now you’re fucking again

bought in descension 

This must be the end of everything that I know
Her nails are cutting marks into the back of my throat
No matter how much I clean it won’t go
Fuck you never call me your bro

You don’t give a fuck, you don’t give a fuck
I thought you had a question
Am I not good enough?
Given up now, given up
I let my guard down
Ive had enough

youre moving backwards 
give me some time, 
gimme me some space to relax love
You don’t want that
Feeling pressure around my neck love
im going fast
Imma turn my car right 
just to call it a crash
I can see you going down 
but you didnt ask
You don’t wanna try 
bitch you never have
Ruining a life that you never had
let him knock you up just to get me back
Fucking tapped

Descension

you can go and lie love 
tell me you mean it 
im going round in circles glued to the ceiling 
cus every time you talk to me i feel so diminished 
my heart starts beating i cant breathe for a minute 
i cant speak for a minute 

feel so close to you I
can feel the warmth to your side
im breaking down all the time 
my worlds been frozen in ice 
ur sending chills down my spine 
im finding somewhere to hide
 
say you been so lost 
well baby open it up 
can't relate what you've done 
oh baby i've had enough
im always afraid 
you've taken all that i was
baby please let me run 
im dissolving to dust 

i've been down sleep bet you didn’t notice 
bitch i’ve gone deaf i can barely hear ur shit 
u need to shower, the smell is potent 
balls so big bitch they're floating 
oh god its a shame i
had to see u fumble two guys in the same night 
oh god its a shame i 
went and curved your message at the same time 

don’t you feel stupid cus you look dumb 
whoring  for attention, no one wanted to cum
theres no self worth now the feelings gone 
done it to yourself at least you having some fun 

is this all im worth
i thought i made you mine 
i want mind, 
i wont lie

you could do so much better than me 
oh i 
spend so much time by myself inside
maybe you’ll find me hibernating 
deep in the forest unusual cadence

me

deaf

my god i feel like im heartless 
dont go im too broke to call it 
love me you know that im hopeless 
feel weak im losing my focus 
leaning over the wall it looks warm 
feel like ive got to die to get home 
feel the rough in the sea but i know 
its not unusual for me to be alone 

i know i could do it do it if i wanted 
feels like someone else is in my body 
its so easy i dont have to live this life 

im so gone you dont notice 
your brains fried im so bored of it 
im a disgrace 
yeah and baby i know it 
two faced let me turn what youre showing 

tell me im no good 
am i not good enough ? 
six three but theyre looking down 
thought this shit would make you proud
are you not proud enough? 
its not fair you dont tell me how

guess i have to be erased so you can take away 
your ownership of someone such a disgrace 
you wont have to do me another day 
youre so dumb who you tryna save 
every breath that i take a waste of o2 
and every tear that i shed i wasted on you 
all this dna 
swear its pretty dead now 
from the blood i circulate 
it sorta bled out

im not a creep 
im obsessed with being perfect 
on no sleep 
pretty sure that makes me worthless 
dont try thinking you can resurrect this 
no light hope i see you when i surface

i know i could do it do it if i wanted 
feels like someone else is in my body 
its so easy i dont have to live this life

Wanted

layed out in the pouring rain 
every drop is suffocating my face
i hope you drown bitch rot and decay 
turn around ive got nothing left to say 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me 
you gotta get a taste 
had to get away 
was it worth it for all the pain 
feel likey youre only doing it out of the spite and vain 
i guess a new guy is all it takes 
taking those years away from me you gotta get a taste 
you gotta tell me is this what i deserve 
im tryna hide between the ground and the earth 
you took my lung and threw that shit in the dirt 
hate the way youre talking i think youve said enough 

run my fingers through your hair you know you made me warm 
i got scars all on my body im already torn 
you dont talk nice about me but no one ever does 
if i told you half the shit you'd have already run 

look at you running it back 
you dont want nothing to last 
act like you hate me 
you got no safety 
look at you liking my tracks 
im in your playlist 
and i know you hate it 
you know nothing about me 
but im one of you favorites 

nothings stopping me from jumping this bridge 
tell me to jump 
ive already tried to drown in the sea 
dont make me stop 
i dont want anyone to try and save me 
i deserve to rot 
looking for no comfort or safety 
i deserve the death 

im so tired of making you proud 
my eyebags are letting me down 
dont talk to me you would have frowned 
dont listen i cant listen now 

girl you dont know 
the shit i been through 
leave me on your notes 
im gonna bin you 
slamming through the door 
you had an issue 
being such a whore 
im tired of letting you down 
my eyebags are making you proud 
dont look at me dont let me drown

Vain

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 

theres something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here 
calm along the surface 
deep inside ive got my layers of fear 
i promise everybodys doing better than me 
stuck here cutting losses so you can watch me bleed 
fuck that im burning money 
give a shit what it means 
my bad i pray to god you bring some comfort to me

you're safe here don't worry
i'll come back as quick as i can
rush, i'm in a hurry
can't see anything on my end
my end
haven't been the same since the last time
my peripheral is gone, there's twitching in my left eye
i think i go insane, hear the war cries
strike it down, i can't be seen neither dead and neither alive
why all of the sudden now you believe in me
"i had no potential" is what you'd think of me
now ur switching sides and wanna be on my team
i'll be the better man and just cut you off and leave

i swear youre only doing it out of spite
you got a question
ima bite
i cant believe im still alive
your bullshit is the reason ima die

you can keep on picking me up 
and putting me down slowly
youre too close 
for someone who dont know me
im too far motherfucker dont bro me
bro me bro me bro bro

something in this world 
i feel like 
no one even wants me here

here w/heylog

yeah
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole

im at the worst of it now
dont tell me you where around
dont tell em you gave me anything
im sat with the worst of it
im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it
see the wings on your spine
both serenading my eyes
now ur not here in this life
ive got a reason to die 

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour


load of bs shouting distroted


im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it

songs shit

angel

your eyes are so pretty
oh, i cant walk away
noooo
you turn my stone 
one word and ill break
so perfectly far
cause me to shake
try to be the best
no less then you deserve
but honestly im a mess
i feel like the worst

sie ist meine frau, meine liebe
says she hates the way i talk myself down
tells me im enough i dont believe her
filling my head with my own doubt
maa baayad baa ham baashim
and i believe it honestly
your eyes when i fall asleep
so close youre apart of me

trust no one like i trust you
none of my friends know what ive been through
maybe 2, ask how ive been lately
i dont expect them to save me
youre all i have
i run 
deep in the forest while you grasp my hand
turn back
i know hes out there waiting im back

im all over you 
back, say it back
oh i need you bad
youre my plus, im a negative
you sorta show me what its like to feel anything
and even though im so embarrasing
i feel like nothing really matters when youre next to me

oh my lord how the fuck did you save me
holding on to you, my blanket of safety
oh my love, now my body is aching
a thousand miles and an ocean, between my home
home
let me bring you home
home

(hand)

grasp my hand

things i held
im dying to go but she holds me in place i wont run
and when i arrive at heavens gates, will you know me

you think about me ?
cause im dying to know if you still care
held by my feelings 
im holding them bare

caught in a forest and then a landslide got to me
fields of rosesim pissing blood out of my arteries
so i can be with you, im counting leafs
im in a field ive got my head in the trees

i keep hearing voices theyre not coming out
yeah
i keep tryna hide but they keep coming round
tryna build a wall and keep myself out
but you wont recognise me not myself now

give him back to me
take somebody else
give him back to me
take somebody else

dont talk about my problems like you have none
my addiction only spiked because i lost someone
when im next, dont act like you care
treated like a joke you know its not fair

put yourself in my position, wouldnt last a week
and all this time that i have, i do not care to eat
i sorta feel like nobodys aware of me
it sorta feels like, none of you could care for me

take the shit from back and what i wear
take the food from my stomach and strip me bare
take everything that i own
i wouldnt care
and its still never enough and thats not fair

give him back to me
take somebody else

take somebody else

There’s something in your eyes or maybe it’s the water
Hold close to me I have to reside
Right here right by ur side
Stay here part of my life

Don’t set me back now 
Leave me all alone
I’ll keep wearing designer so I can hide the mold
Surface to my body
Im not getting cold
U can talk all you want ur music is getting old
They keep wanting more from me
Then you wonder why I feel like I’ve been letting you down
You stayed away from me
No friend would be dragging me around 

Take me to the edge of the world 
As long as I’m with my girl I
Question much but I don’t question your words like
Got a grip around me I keep holding tight
I cant keep up with demand and I can’t sell right
I’ve given everything to you
And I won’t ever stop
If I was bleeding out, I’d know it’s not enough 
Hold my
So hold my hand till we turn to dust
I’m never close enough to you until we both combust 

Heart and soul it’s still not enough 
I’d give you every single limb until I’m truly worthless
You’re perfect 
Say goodnight before you sleep and it’ll hurt less

Take another picture I’ll use my Polaroid 
Rip me from the image you’re playing seek and destroy 
You’ll never capture anything if you keep holding me down 
I keep running I’ll keep running buried under the ground

You were never a friend to me
No regret you would have said it all again
Such a cunt you’re a tragedy 
Never thought you would be so awful yet

polaroid

i seen your eyes turn to water
you must be so ahead idk what u wanna hear
from me, now im older
glass feels colder
inside looking out
what if this how they view me from the outside
ur looking down on me
ur looking down now
this blasphemy 
it all comes round 
you were bad for me
im so fucked now

i could take a knife out
put it through my wrist
let you grab it with your hand just so you can twist
i wont tell nobody
youd never hurt a soul
dont try to complicate it
ur doing it wrong
you can try and stop me however you want
ill put a hole through ur head
and then ill spin it off
im sick of being vulnerable
no one listens now
youll never get ahead of me 
ill just rip you down

ur splitting personalities 
i swear nobody gives a shit
walk right over me, ur never nice oh no one bit
i must be such a disgrace, im holding you back
covering my ears oh i love when you laugh
but its bad
i see ur faces walking round like you have
other family you throw me on my ass
never mine and its honestly sad

wrist

should have 
should have been my body
should have 
should have been my body

ill never get another chance now
and i dont want it, i just want you back now
i cannot deal with all these faces looking at me
i really think it should have been my body

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

i really thought i tried my best
im putting all my scent across your messsages
just to ruin it again
youre my love and all my medicine

whats stopping me
nobody can stop me now
what is happening 
words barely leaving my mouth
but im lost again
gaps of air barely creep out
im asleep again
i dont mean to let you down

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

should have
should have been my body...

body

i dont really like where youre pulling me now
i thought id do better, but youre barely proud
i dont really like that youre not calming me down
ive got nowhere to run now
nowhere to go now

you thought its best for me
but i dont need anything but you now
i did whats best for me 
and honestly i need you right here in my house
cant let this run on much further
further ill fall down
dont know how much i can cope fore' i hit you and fall back down

on the pavement 
on the pavement

pavement

the winds so much colder this year
and my body heat
my body heats reserved by yours
i cant find no substance like it
no tea or coffee ever clones it
my anxietys so bad
play with my fingers look away when you glance
i try to look bothered 
you dont understand
come off so awkward and less of a man

she owns like everything that i wear
and i keep getting thoughts as if we never left
cause its 0 degrees in both places
so its like nothing even changed but i cant see your face yet

my body cant cope without holding yours i cant face it
even just the little things like smelling on your fragrance
i can barely form a sentence, and i dont talk much
youve got a grip around me, i feel i dont need to hold on

only source of motivation, i dont need to practise
tell me now to break my spine oh love ive already cracked it
cause its 0 degrees, in both places
nothing even changed but love i cannot hold your face yet

say that youre forgetting it 
but how could you just lie to me 
you knew id do anything youd ask of me 
just try and see 
holding your resentment toward me 
isn’t it so tiring
keeping all these thoughts locked inside until I’m spiralling

Out of control 
all on my own 
I’ll take you on 
can’t hide from the truth 
when you know what you’ve (lyre) done

Standing my GROUND
I see them NOW 
All the voices they start to scream OUT

No more of your LIES 
cold look in your EYES
your zero degrees 
know the frost when it bites

degrees ft. chalyre

:) 


Looking half a mile away to see you face the wall
everytime u look at me my feelings burn 
all the things u wanted and I failed them all
Everytime u Talk to me my stomach burns

Don’t notice me
Don’t notice 
Don’t no

Don’t notice me
Don’t notice 
Don’t no

Blood creeping out my window to my yard
All this involvement don’t know who u are 
All this water leaves, falls down where u are 
I don’t seem restless just going too far 
I’ve got no fuel left, you’ve drained all that I have 
Oh I’m anxious as shit, u should look at my arm
Cause I’ve torn it to pieces 
No pieces left
Just a pot that you piss in, now torn to shreds 

this feeling eats me alive guess i messed up my life
i try just to hide that way cant be right
well im just tired, everything is tiring
i stay up all night next day i sleep all the time
dont know what to say so i better stay silent
in my head im with you in fields full of violets

Walk myself to the pier this is life for me 
Pull myself up the wall u can’t carry me 
All this water gets colder crashes into me 
These feelings that I get I must have to leave

pier ft. melon

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite 

It’s so late 
And it’s so dark out 
Are you home yet ? 
It’s not safe out now
Are you home yet ? 
Can you not let me know?
Did you find somebody else who’s gonna fill my role 

You should lay here beneath me
In a forest, near the wood
And try to imagine 
All the things that we could 
Should

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite

hiraeth

hearteater