I woke up bleeding from a dream I can’t recall
The sky was black, the mirror cracked, the writing on the wall
I’ve buried friends, I’ve buried faith, I’ve buried every prayer
And still I walk, though every step feels like a dare
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
I’ve cursed the stars, I’ve kissed the ground
I’ve begged for peace that won’t be found
My body breaks, my mind betrays
But I still show up most days
The preacher said I’m not alone
But he don’t hear the undertone
Of every breath I drag through pain
Like thunder with no rain
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
God wants me dead
But I ain’t gone yet
Maybe He don’t hate me
Maybe He just waits
To see if I’ll keep walking
Through these rusted gates
Maybe love’s a test
And pain’s the proof
That I’m still here
And still got truth
I saw a child smile at me today
And for a second, I looked away
Afraid that light might burn my skin
But maybe that’s where grace begins
I ain’t asking for a crown
Just a reason not to lay it down
If He’s still watching, let Him see
What broken still can be
God wants me dead
That’s what the silence said
Not in fire, not in flood
Just slow enough to taste the blood
If He wants me gone
He’ll have to take me walking   


FYI: God saw me write this and did not stop me....songwriter Edwin H. Balder


God Wants Me Dead

visualiser: https://youtu.be/Plxyh4N8TSI?si=XEjjsscql9z2cmOm

lyrics:
The moment seemed to good to be true
Maybe we did it too soon
I’d do it all again

I feel you
The last part of me, you knew
You took me somewhere new
It’s all because of you

You knew how to take it out of me
And you flew, right over me
And I’m used to, giving it all to you

And you take every part of me
And you break
Every chance of hope
That I crave
It’s all because of you
Because of you
It’s all because of you
Sit here and accept my fate

Now I’m alone
I keep my breath close to my home
So I don’t trip and fall too soon
I’m never getting over you

You knew how to take it out of me
And you flew, right over me
And I’m used to, giving it all to you

And you take every part of me
And you break
Every chance of hope
That I crave
It’s all because of you

That I don’t wanna lose
That I don’t wanna move

Maybe I should move on
Set the fire
Set the fire
Burn it through the snow

production credit: https://youtu.be/Ep8gBs5rNI8?si=em5yU-f448phzMtX
written & recorded by me

The Only Thing I Fear

JoshuaBurnside

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