JWTF

CHEWING ON MY PILLS (PROD. KIMLORDS BEATS)

PLAY NICE (prod.cristalbeach)

DRAIN (prod.cristalbeach)

WHISKEY COKE & EIGHT BALL

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for me here (old EP version)

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Born of secrets and floorboard creaks
Under ash that formed to expire
Twisted kneecaps a running relapse 
At swamps where a frog croaks of liars
Gnarled limbs of dead trees
Longing to embrace me
And comfort swims in stagnance of sin
As he pulls my shirt up higher

No trespassing signs line the forest side
Of rock walls built to procure
My wet shoes fill the ceramic grooves
As his aggression I must endure
The promise of some trading cards
The buds of his repugnant tongue
The craving of some attention
But it's not what I want

Oh I miss my home
Cut my wrists over every poem
Waiting to hear I'm sorry
The kingdom implored my departing

Returning faces and flakes of silent snow
Replaced speeches in passing
Hydrangeas blue from sulfur
A photo to remember for masses
Their souls inside wooden tombs
Necessity and lethargic
If I'd witnessed this iconoclastic image before
Well maybe I'd forgotten

Oh I miss my home
Cut my wrists over every poem
Waiting to hear I'm sorry
The kingdom implored my departing

My Departing

thank you for everything brother.

vocals: lil peep

prod by me

cut myself w/lil peep

unaware of the earth because its always just below your feet
you're now ungrateful for simple things like concrete
realities in which the rest of them live in
you're so detached now you can't name more than three friends

tried conversation but you just can't sell a joke
tried self motivation but you just can't keep the hope
that someday you'll understand
how everyone can just be okay

~~

he's like a wall that speaks back in fragments
crumbles and falls and no one really misses him
no one ever comes to build him back up again cause
he's not meant to stand he'll just fall down if given the chance

there's a word to describe it but i just can't find it
on the tip of my tongue there's something like
climbing the tallest tree just to find out
you're afraid of heights

~~

when i was younger i knew just how to tie my shoes
as i got older i started slipping them on, so i wouldn't lose
time in the morning to sleep in cause i'd
stay up all night just wishing i would stop breathing

when i was younger i knew how to ride a bike
that time i fell and went to the hospital
was the last time
it's not as easy as just taking off, isn't that right?
wish i wasn't right

he's like a wall that speaks back in fragments
crumbles and falls and no one really misses him
no one ever comes to build him back up again cause
he's not meant to stand he'll just fall down if given the chance

there's a word to describe it but i just can't find it
on the tip of my tongue there's something like
climbing the tallest tree just to find out
you're afraid of heights


maybe someday it'll come back to me
everything i forgot
just to keep my head above
all this self loathing is getting to me
and it's gonna be 
the only part of me left to see

how to tie your shoes (wikihow)

hot mulligan

Hey
I know I just saw you yesterday, but I wanted to say
That I miss you and I am sorry I always have to go
Every couple weeks or so
And I’m sick of the roads
And the tolls that we both have to pay, 'cause I’m always away

I miss the smell of your skin and your clothes
And I want nothing more than to be back at home again
Staying in, getting takeout, or binge-watching HLN
I haven’t slept well in days
I miss waking up, having coffee and breakfast in bed
Sharing showers, and I quit smoking cigarettes
Until I left for tour, now I’m anxious again
and you’re in bed back home, and I’m a total wreck
I'm still a total wreck

I tried to sit still
Made the call and now I’m talking to a voicemail
Left a message
Pay attention to the detail
Overwrought and overwhelmed
Hear me shaking as I exhale
Quivering and sweating out the chemicals
11 hour acid trip when Scott became a ceiling fan, and I am soap
So here I go, carry on alone
So here I go, carry on alone
I carry on alone

I miss the smell of your skin and your clothes
And I want nothing more than to be back at home again
Staying in, getting takeout, or binge-watching HLN
I haven’t slept well in days
I miss waking up, having coffee and breakfast in bed
Sharing showers, and I quit smoking cigarettes
Until I left for tour, now I’m anxious again
and you’re in bed back home, and I’m a total wreck
I'm still a total wreck

good ol mr rags

not used to being the second option
wish i knew just how to stop this
every song i make is so sad
it almost sounds fake
but this is something not even light escapes

wish you'd ask if i was ok
its alright, it wouldn't change anything
my parents think i wanna run away but oh god
there's nothing more i want than to just

stay home
stay alone
i walk around like i'm so angry but i
just can't feel my bones when they break
when they break
and they break
and they break
and they break

i'm losing all my friends again
it's not fine but i'll pretend
i'll stay put
and they'll wonder if i'll come out for summer
but every breath i take is so hard to catch
or catch a break
this solipsism's got me thinking that i'm fine with sinking
the isolation will slowly kill me
but this empty world could never fill me
a bottomless pit that not even light escapes
so i'll
stay home
stay alone
sleep all day 
they say i'm angsty but i'm watching this world erase me
walk around like i'm so angry
but i'm just waiting for the break

walk around like i'm so angry
but i wanna feel my bones when they break

bones

cavetown

Life's alright in devil town
They're right, no one's gonna catch us now
Dad has bought a new car now
We're fine, no one's gonna catch us now
You said something dumb again
She's mad, at least that's what they say
Mum and daddy aren't in love
That's fine, I'll settle for two birthdays
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But i feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too
We're all dead in devil town
That's fine, cause nothing's gonna scare us now
We're all in our dressing gowns, mine's white
And stripy yours is green and brown
I forgot my name again
I think that's something worth remembering
Spiders in your favourite shoes
Just leave them be cause they're more scared of you
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But i feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But i feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

devil town

comforting skin next to me
she said that i can never be
myself when i die i will be alone
listening to her heart i can't feel anything
below my neck, and now my thoughts will take control
and if u prefer
i'll leave out all the details of this emptiness i feel
and if u prefer
i'll be around to listen to your softly spoken words
darkness seems to make isolation easier
i welcome my hallucinations
understandings of what i am will come undone
as i spiral deeper into nothingness
but if it helps me sleep
i'll take out my frustration on my temporary skin
if it helps me sleep
i'll smoke until i never have another dream of you
being in this space where nothing stays the same
i feel this biting clawing pain inside my chest
fly against the window pane soon to die
why does he try
why try

swallow

i don't wanna be alive anymore
its just there's
too much to be fighting for
i don't want
to go outside anymore
cause it's all
too loud, too bright, too boring

and i don't wanna get in fights anymore
cause they're all
for something i can't care less about
but it still
hurts bad when you call me that
it still
hurts bad when you don't call me back

~~

and you don't wanna talk anymore
and that's cool
cause i still don't know what i'm fighting for
i guess its
the overwhelming fear of being alone
that just so
happens to be all i know

~~

SO TELL ME
IS IT WORTH IT TO YOU
TO MAKE ME
DRIVE A TOTAL OF A THOUSAND MILES
IN A WEEK
JUST TO SEE IF YOU'RE STILL BREATHING
JUST TO SEE IF YOU'RE STILL LEAVING

CAUSE IF ITS
TOO MUCH TO BE FIGHTING FOR
THEN IT'S
NOT WORTH IT TO DENY ANYMORE
I LOVE YOU
YOU LOVE ME
BUT ITS NOT MEANT TO BE
NO ITS NOT MEANT TO BE

DON'T EVER FUCKING LEAVE ME
PLEASE DON'T EVER STOP BREATHING

~~

i don't wanna be alive anymore
its just there's
too much to be fighting for
i don't want
to be alive anymore
i don't want to be in love anymore

i'll call it a draw (for tonight)

sweaty palms shaking
guess i had too much caffeine 
what're the symptoms of nicotine poisoning?
you're all going to college and i'll be
stuck at home, probably won't ever have to
look at my phone
if i could have changed anything i would've changed everything
but you'll never know
these things will never happen so why can't i just let it all go?
i hate dreaming it just gets my hopes up
i hate leaving cause i'll never grow up
focus on breathing cause soon you'll be too worn down
to speak up
i can't wait to leave this place
but i can't help but think about
what could be
i'll sacrifice my dignity just to push this out of my head
i'm so tired of thinking of what could have been.

final month of may

I’m always so lonely, frustrated, and angry
And I never know if it’s my fault
Or if it’s just my brain working fucking wrong
Cause I have got problems that I cannot withhold
Cause I have got diseases that I cannot control

And my feelings are at the mercy of my chemical imbalances
And I’m trapped inside the torture of living with all of this disorder

And I always hate myself more than I hate anyone else
I’ll always hate myself before I hate anyone else
Cause I know I have earned it
From years and years of treating myself like shit

And I want to believe that it’s not my fault
And I want to believe that I can live a fulfilling life
But I might not
I might not

I don’t want to be sad

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

final month of may

justwatchthefireworks

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