Holding It All

*** Lyrics by Carlton Carr ***

It’s true that truth is only perception
But what you do when no one’s watching you
Because you’re living life behind a mask
Is the truth without deception

My heart is bruised
It’s capacity for pain is used up
And abused
Chewed up and spewed out

Do you see me
Or is this only a reflection that you see
Be with me in my private moments
Hold me in my torment and my fear

Do you see me
In the words that fly across this screen
Catch them and hold them in your heart
Before they fall apart and disappear

It’s unusual for me to feel safe enough
To be me in all my vulnerability

My heart is bruised
It’s capacity for pain is used up
And abused
Chewed up and spewed out

Do You See Me (Acoustic Version)

They say it’s peaceful when you pass.
That the world slips away.
But no one says what it’s like
to still be here,
in the back row of your own funeral—
without a name badge,
just watching.

I drifted in like smoke on coats,
Still knew the route from childhood roads.
Same brick church, same leaning tree,
Everyone dressed like grief was a rule to keep.
Cousin Jamie hugged Mum tight,
Uncle Pete said, “He fought the good fight.”
They handed out sheets with my name in bold—
I read the words but didn’t feel old.

They grieved like echoes in padded walls,
Said nice things in careful stalls.
But no one mentioned my daughter’s laugh—
The only thing that truly lasts.
I watched, unheard, among the rows,
AWOL in the afterglow.

She came in holding Nana’s hand,
Little pink boots kicking at the sand.
Shouldn’t’ve brought her—was my first thought,
But then… she reached for something I forgot.
They gave her crayons and a paper rose,
She drew on the back—my name in gold.
I knelt beside her, mouthed "I'm here,"
She didn’t flinch… but blinked a tear.

They Grieved, She Knew
They wept like rain on closed-up days,
She stared right through the fog and haze.
No one spoke of her midnight fears,
But she’s the only one who still hears.
I stayed, invisible in the flow,
AWOL, but she still knows.

Casket’s pine. Earth’s soft and clean.
They dropped in lilies, and one ice cream wrapper—
she said it was "Daddy’s favourite thing."
Mum looked up, said nothing new,
But I saw her lips move, maybe just “you.”
A robin blinked from the leaning cross,
I almost followed—almost got lost.

But then she turned and looked at the air,
Eyes like mine, just unaware.
And for a breath, the world went still,
Like something else had bent its will.
She doesn’t know, but she’s my thread,
The line that holds me from the dead.
And something deeper than grief unfurled—
A quiet knowing:
There’s still work in this world.

I thought this was the end.
But she still draws me in crayon gold.
And maybe that's where the real story begins.

AWOL

Out Of The Smoke

**About This Track**  
—an original AI-assisted song released by Rob Nelson who is “Bring Your Own Brilliance,” and Ron Cameron who is “Alien Garden.” This track blends our human creative choices with AI tools to bring our ideas to life in a unique and expressive way.

**Creative & Technical Details**  
- **Lyrics**: [All “Alien Garden” song tracks = Ron Cameron]
- **Lyrics**: [All “Bring Your Own Brilliance” = Rob Nelson]  
- **Executive Producer**: [All “Alien Garden” song tracks = Ron Cameron]
- **Executive Producer**: [All “Bring Your Own Brilliance” song tracks = Rob Nelson]
- **Vocals & Instrumentation**: for all song tracks;  Generated using TopMediAI or AIGenMusic.AI  
- **Audio Format & Editing**: for all song tracks: MP3 and WAV files generated by TopMediAI and refined using NCH Software (trims, fades, format conversions)  
- **Stem Splitting**: for all song tracks; LaLaLaLa AI  
- **Cover Art**: all song tracks; Created using Stable Diffusion 3 Online, Aiease.ai, Pollo.ai, and Pixabay artists (Creative Commons)  
- **Song Structure & Mood Profiling**: all song tracks; Cyanite AI

**CHOICES Explained**  
“CHOICES” is our code word for the creative blueprint of each track—instrumentation, vocal tone, genre, tempo, and mood. Every song starts with our direction. The AI supports our choices; it doesn’t make them for us.

**Rights & Licensing**  
As TopMediAI members, we retain full commercial and non-commercial rights to this track under their [Terms & Conditions](https://www.topmediai.com/terms-conditions/). All lyrics, arrangements, and production outputs are considered original works owned by Rob and/or Ron.

**Creative Use & Inquiries**  
We welcome musicians and producers to re-record or adapt our lyrics and music. Please credit us in any future releases that borrow from our work.

For licensing, collaboration, or industry inquiries, contact:  
Bring Your Own Alien Garden
c/o Rob Nelson & Ron Cameron  
1211 Huron Street N., Suite 202  
London, Ontario, Canada  
N5Y 4L1

**A Final Note**  
This track was created with care, creative intention, and love for music that tells a story. Thank you for visiting—your support fuels every note we share.

Coffee House [Version # 2] [CHOU2FO] [REISSUE]

“나는 빛나는 갑옷을 입은 기사가 아니야.
그저, 너를 소매에 품은 기사일 뿐이야.”

이 노래는 누군가를 구하는 이야기가 아니야.
도망치는 마음 앞에서도
조용히, 묵묵히 곁에 머무는 사랑에 대한 이야기야.

《소매 속의 너》는 화려하지 않아도 진짜였던 순간들,
누군가를 고치려 하기보다
그저 ‘괜찮아질 때까지’ 함께 있어주는 마음에 바치는 노래야.

“I’m not a knight in shining armor.
I’m the knight who wears you on my sleeve.”

This is not a song about saving someone.
It’s about the kind of love that stays —
quietly, faithfully,
even when the other person is afraid,
even when they run.

《You on My Sleeve》 is a love letter to all the moments that weren’t loud…
but real.
To the kind of heart that doesn’t try to fix you —
just stays close enough for you to feel safe again.

소매 속의 너 (You on My Sleeve)

Somewhere, Probably

Better Days

 
"In a world of "choose"
I searched for things 
God found a door to my heart inn 
He's peace did so I ended all my searching

 I am Anon, the undeserved star
Carrying love from God up above 
He gives me the songs
-fills them with love, i hope they reach far
He calls me Anon
With rhythm & rimes, 
a heavenly sound is coming alive- 
I Am stunned And surprised
This must be the meaning of life.

 Once lost, now found, my path seems clear,
 With God's love, nothing left to fear, 
when tracks reach far, he's words are there  
Wish every beat,
Brings His salvation's near.

 This music fight's the global fear
With faith, we conquer, with love, we dare, 
All hearts unite, as we declare, 
Jesus is the answer, everywhere. 
( Answer, everywhere.) 

 I am Anon, the undeserved star
Carrying love from God up above 
He gives me the songs
-fills them with love, i hope they reach far
He calls me Anon
With rhythm & rimes, 
a heavenly sound is coming alive- 
I Am stunned And surprised
This must be the meaning of life.

The choice is hard you're not alone, 
In Him, we find our final home, 
Through songs, we're thrown, 
Into the arms of the divine-One 

 I am Anon, the undeserved star
Carrying love from God up above 
He gives me the songs
-fills them with love, i hope they reach far
He calls me Anon
With rhythm & rimes, 
a heavenly sound is coming alive- 
I Am stunned And surprised
This must be the meaning of life.

inge@axes

I am Anon

Where God Forsaken Me

Roses & Razors

In Bethehem. zx(6)

All content shared here is part of my personal artistic journey.

These works reflect emotions, growth, and symbolic storytelling — not real individuals.

Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental or emotionally interpreted.

This space is for expression, not exposure. Thank you for understanding.

Posted on June 21, 2025

소매 속의 너 (You on My Sleeve)

JSTY