THINK ABOUT ME

Tell Me About Tomorrow

BRAINDEAD

NO VANITY

FUCKED UP

Mugshot

Echoing 

Looking over the shoulder  

I'm in the backseat one moment 

Then next to the driver .

Trying to grip ahold of reality 

Drifting in and out of realities static,

Antidepressants so numb to the pills they give 

To they help or throw them all away 

At a table I see with all their faces talking to me 

Versions of me keeping me up at night,

Arguing talking convincing me and walking away slipping passed my mind under my skin

Unfolding like a plastic skin molded to the patterns of my memories 

Tucked way until the shock of reality hits me,

Floating away from myself 

So dark 

But sometimes I see a faint tunnel ahead of me 

Drifting outside my body thinking about my life what am I doing 

How can I work move and talk without my body 

Who controlling me 

Is this fate or a part of me 

Parts of me whispering in states of numbness and protective insanity,

Automatic writing I don't have to think 

To write out what they want to say I just let go 

of the control of my hands and disconnect from my body 

I look back at what I write and am shocked it's not me 

Why is this happening to me 

What made me into this,

I don't remember doing that.

I don't remember how I got here,

I don't remember ever meeting you,  

But we know each other,

I'm suppose to be here,

Getting in the car clicking the belt I'm at home.

Eyes close I open them I'm sitting at work 

All after a car accident with a semi truck wow,

Detached all the time in separations and coding phares. 

I can hear myself talk but it's not from the thoughts I'm thinking 

who's are these thoughts running on autopilot 

Watching my mouth move talking to someone

I'm so fuzzy,

I can hear what I'm saying but can't control the words that are put in place to communicate

Public scares me, 

way are my poetry signed with different names that I don't remember writing.

I do things a have no memory of doing them,

Walking into a room from 10 to 30 seconds black out wake up wondering what I'm standing there for. 

Talking out load to thoughts I don't control as my thoughts mix within mine theirs us we Who 



  

BRAINDEAD

jxdn